Chapter Fifteen
“That was an interesting recital, wasn’t it?” Grace heard Mrs Barrett talking amongst her cronies as she tried to sneak from the room after her turn playing the piano. Her face ached from holding her smile in place when all she wanted to do was hide away from everyone. It was definitely a bad move on her part to sing a song to anyone, let alone that song to him. But he shouldn’t have leered at her the way he did. It was totally creepy.
Oh God, speaking of him she could see him heading in her direction with a murderous look upon his face.
Grace quickly ducked out the side door and raced down the hallway as fast as she could without drawing too much attention to herself. She just reached out for the handle into the ladies’ retiring room when a hand closed around her arm.
“Ach!”
“Shhh. It is just me.” Jasper’s deep voice calmed the butterflies in her stomach. “I saw Lord Wester coming and I figured you’d want to avoid that meeting. If you don’t really need to use the facilities I know where we can go.”
“Lead the way.” All Grace wanted to do was escape the scene Lord Wester was sure to initiate.
“Come on then.” Jasper slid his hand down her arm and clasped her hand in his. Shivers skated up and down her arm in response and if she hadn’t been so intent on avoiding another man she would have lain down right there and let this one have his wicked little way with her.
Goodness, where did that thought come from?
She couldn’t deny the warmth spreading from her core or the wetness gathering between her legs. She had to face the truth. She was falling for the man she was engaged to. Things could not get much worse, especially since he thought of them as a mistake.
“Behind here.” Jasper held a life-size portrait of one of Neal’s ancestors away from the wall.
What the? There was a passageway hidden behind the picture.
“Quickly, Grace, or someone will see.”
She looked at Jasper’s face and trusted what she saw, so taking a deep breath, she stepped quickly behind the portrait. Darkness engulfed them when the painting fell back into place behind Jasper and although Grace had never been underground she imagined this is what the inside of a coal mine looked like.
“Where are we? I didn’t know there were secret passageways in Neal’s house. Why on earth would he have those?”
“Come on, Grace, this way, follow me.” Jasper clasped her hand again and led her slowly along the passageway before answering her question. “There are things about Neal you and I will never know. And frankly, I don’t want to know. Anybody who has secret passages throughout their home has more secrets than I care to know. However, these passages do come in handy from time to time. Your friend Wester won’t find us in here. I’m not even sure where here is.”
They continued in silence for what felt like ten minutes or so, but it was hard to tell in the dark, before Jasper stopped. He let go of her hand and before she could protest ran his hand up and down her arm, sending shivers through her body once again. One touch and she was putty in his hands.
“Why’d we stop?” Grace whispered into the darkness.
“We’ve reached the stairs. Do you think you can manage them in the dark or do you need my help?” He whispered in her ear, stoking the fire burning in her veins. The fact she couldn’t see anything heightened her other scenes and when his hand grazed her hip she jumped. “Shhh, it’s just me. I’ve got you,” He whispered, nuzzling her neck.
He fitted his hands to her hips, swung her and lifted her up a step. Her body fizzled with awareness as he slowly lowered her down until her feet touched the ground, all the while keeping her body in contact with his. His hands descended to her bottom and she gasped as he brought her fully against him. A wave of excitement rushed to her brain, blocking out all thought.
Jasper stayed on the ground when he lifted her so she was exactly the right height to reach his lips. Her hands rested on his shoulders and she pulled him closer when his lips touched hers. Her fingers followed his neck up to touch his face and he broke the kiss to suck on her finger. She didn’t care that she was moaning as she kissed his throat down to his collar. She needed to touch him.
She twisted and squirmed in his grasp until Jasper brought her impossibly closer to him still, crushing her against him. Her hands began to wander frantically over his body as the fever that consumed her last time they touched returned. She ran her hands down the front of his shirt, marvelling at the rippling muscle underneath the crisp linen. She circled his nipples through his shirt with one hand as the other sought a new goal.
A moan shot from Jasper’s lips when she cupped his member in her hand through his trousers. She searched for the zip on his pants, but couldn’t find it. Frustration made her want to scream.
She tore her lips away from his and growled, “How do you undo your blasted pants?” She tugged at the waist band, but they were too tight and didn’t budge. The men’s pants in the 1800s were tighter than men’s skinny jeans back home. At least jeans had a Goddamn zipper!
“Here, Grace, let me. There are laces.”
“Laces? What, like a shoe? Why are your pants done up with laces? Buttons would be a lot easier, you know.”
“I don’t think the tailor had undressing in a hurry in mind when they were made.”
“Or in the dark,” Grace giggled. It was too much. If she could just see what she was trying to do, it would be a whole lot easier. She dropped to her knees and carefully pulled the lace end free from its knot. She didn’t want to get it tangled. With the state she was in she would chew through the blasted lace if it didn’t let go soon.
Finally she felt the fabric open and she gave a silent cheer for joy as his excited member fell into her hands. It jumped at her touch. The smoothness of its skin intrigued her enough to make her flick her tongue across the surface.
Jasper’s hands came down to rest on the back of her head. Her tongue shot out again but this time his hips thrust forward at the same time, giving her more access to her target. Grace had never mastered the art of fellatio, but being in total darkness gave her confidence to use both her hands and her mouth.
“Grace. God, Grace.” Jasper moaned her name as her actions got faster and faster until he pulled her away in time for his release.
They felt their way slowly up the stairs, stopping on each one for a kiss. The kisses started out soft and chaste but with each step upwards Grace’s need for Jasper’s touch mounted. She could no longer wait. Her movements become jerkier and jerkier with each step they climbed until she was moaning at the barest graze of his fingers on her arm. Her breath quickened as he slid his tongue along her neck. On the tenth step he leaned her against the wall and tugged down the fabric of her dress, exposing the soft sensitive flesh of her breasts. His tongue left a hot trail across her collarbone as his lips descended. Breath caught in Grace’s throat when his hands cupped her exposed flesh. Her pulse throbbed down to her core. One more touch would send her over the edge. Goosebumps rose on her damp skin even though the heat she felt was burning her up.
Jasper placed his leg between hers and she rode his knee, grinding herself against him, trying to relieve the pressure. His mouth clamped onto her nipple and sucked, tugging gently with his teeth. When they reached the top, he gently laid her down and flicked her dress up to her waist.
Her legs fell open for him and he took her invitation by slipping a finger inside her wet passage. Her muscles shuddered against him. He blew softly onto her exposed flesh as he slowly rocked his finger in and out. Grace’s legs fell open further, far enough for him to settle between them. His mouth brushed her entrance and her hips bucked off the floor. He held her still and murmured softly, calming her before taking her with his mouth. She screamed into the darkness as he flicked her clitoris with his tongue and she found the release she had been craving.
It took a moment for her world to come back together after it shattered into millions of tiny pieces. She slowly became aware of
her surroundings again. Jasper lay next to her, his head on her thigh. She supposed ladies of this time might be mortified to find a man in such a position, but Grace loved the weight of him. She let her fingers comb through his hair as she brought her breathing under control.
“You’ll be the death of me, woman.” Jasper kissed her inner thigh before sitting up. “Come, let’s find our way out of this darkness.” He pulled her to her feet and helped her straighten her dress. She only hoped it would be presentable when they re-emerged into the house.
“Do you think it’s OK?” She was referring to her dress.
“I think so, it feels all in place. I’m having a blasted time with these laces though, I can’t seem to find one end.”
Grace reached out a hand in the direction of his voice. “Here, let me.”
“No! We’ll never get out of here if you touch me again,” he laughed. “There it is! Got it. Now, let’s go, Grace. I’m sure there is an exit up here just aways.”
Jasper led her through a series of doors and passageways before they reached their destination. The room Jasper took her into was dark. They were in a part of the house that she’d never been to before. She didn’t know it existed, even after staying here for a couple of months.
Grace looked around as best she could in the dark but there was only a small amount of light seeping under a door at the other end of the room. She was drawn to it like a moth to a flame after spending so much time in absolute darkness. As she got closer to the door she could hear voices coming from the other side. “Jasper,” she whispered into the darkness, “there’s someone here.” She groped blindly towards the light, trying not to bump into any furniture, her toes curling in her slippers in defence against any future knocks on objects hiding in the dark. Something touched her back. Her heart lodged itself into her throat before she realised it was only Jasper’s hand. She could now feel his breath on her cheek and she relaxed into his warmth.
“I can hear it too. I wonder who it is.” Jasper stepped closer to the door, leaving Grace behind in the darkness.
Maybe it was the dark that made her brave; she would wonder afterward what possessed her to ask the question that had circled around and around in her mind since the fateful night of the ball. “Jasper? Do you love Anne?” she whispered. Even to her own ears she sounded lost and alone. Jasper turned from the door and made his way slowly back to her. She heard him utter a curse an instant after he bumped into something that sounded large and immoveable.
“Hasn’t anyone told you why we were to be married? I thought someone would have told you the night of the Kensington ball.” He paused for a moment and seemed to be thinking something over before he continued. “But I suppose the only person you knew at the ball was me, and I certainly didn’t tell you, did I? Victoria, of course, would never say anything; she doesn’t believe in gossip, especially gossip about our family. In that case, I suppose it’s long overdue you knew. Lady Anne’s father and mine arranged our marriage when she was born. We were supposed to be married years ago; I never got around to asking her, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“Why not? Don’t you like her?”
“Of course I like Lady Anne, everyone likes her. I just couldn’t see myself being married to her the rest of my life. She has no backbone and she does everything her family tells her to do. I would end up walking all over her. I need a woman with some fortitude.”
“So you don’t love her.”
“I’ve never been in love with Lady Anne.” His voice held enough conviction that Grace’s heart leapt with hope before she could remind herself she didn’t want his love either.
Conflicting emotions fought in her head. Why did she care if he loved Anne or not, she had no right to care; but she did. “So, if you don’t love her, why were we a mistake?”
“A mistake?”
“When you walked out on me in the library the other day you said we were a mistake. You practically ran from the house. I assumed it was because you were still in love with Anne, but if you don’t love her then why would you marry someone who sends you running? Why would you marry me?”
“I have to.” She could hear his sigh cut through the stillness of the room even as the sharp pain cut through her heart at his words.
“No you don’t. You don’t have to marry anyone. You can happily go along with your life without a wife. Your fortune and future don’t depend on anyone else but you. You won’t have to sell your body on the street to support yourself.” She was grateful for the dark covering the tears silently streaming down her face.
“Grace, that is why I have to. If I don’t marry you, you will be ruined. I thought you understood that.” Jasper came back to where she was standing. Tremors ran up her arms when he touched them.
“Oh don’t worry, I understand all too well.” She pulled away from his touch. “I have no options, but you do. But I don’t plan on staying around here, you know, I am going home.”
“You can’t leave me.” He reached out and grabbed her elbow. “I need you.”
Grace tugged on her arm, but he wouldn’t let go, he was getting too close…in more ways than one. It was one thing to give him her body, quite another to give him her heart as well. “You don’t need me.” It was getting harder to remember just why she was resisting. She needed to change tactics if she was going to remain strong and protect her heart. She couldn’t handle having it broken again; there was no way she was risking that.
“What about Anne though? Didn’t she want to marry you? If it was arranged when she was a baby, she must have spent her whole life waiting for you to ask her.” She remembered her conversation with Anne and how she had seemed so happy for Grace taking Jasper off her hands. But was Anne really happy? “And now instead you’re engaged to me. Oh poor Anne, how can she even look at me?” She needed to talk to Anne again and make sure she wasn’t just trying to make the best from a bad situation. “She must’ve been devastated when she found out.”
Jasper ran his hand up and down her arm but still would not let her go when she gave a small experimental tug. “I doubt it. As far as I could tell she wasn’t all that thrilled to marry me either. We were just stuck together and had to make the most of it. It’s her father that I’m most concerned about. It’s rumoured her brother, Lord Wester, was expecting some money to come into his family when Lady Anne and I married and it seems he may have already spent it. It’s her father who will eventually have to cover those debts. Or see his son deported to the colonies.”
“That is retarded.”
“Retarded? I hardly think that’s an appropriate word”
She ignored his interruption, “How come he should be expected to pay his son’s debts? He’s not the idiot that counted his chickens before they hatched.” She was thankful for the change in the conversation and she ran with it.
“Nevertheless, he will be the one that it falls back on. I worry how Lady Anne’s dealing with all this; first the scandal between you and me, which would have caused quite a stir amongst her friends, and now her brother. I profoundly hope, for her sake, the rumours regarding his finances are unfounded.”
“This isn’t your fault you know.” She placed her hand on his and squeezed, but he pulled away from her before she could make any more sympathetic gestures. She didn’t blame him for turning away from her as it was she who had insinuated he should feel guilty in the first place. “I blame your parents. I can’t imagine arranging someone else’s life without consulting them about it first. How must Anne feel? Constantly being told what to do? That’s bullshit. This type of arrangement would never happen where I’m from.”
“What did you just say? Did you just utter a profanity?” He paused but when she wisely kept her mouth shut he continued, “Surely if your father arranged for you to have a better future than you would otherwise have, you would agree to it.”
“Not if it was something I didn’t want…or in this case, someone I didn’t want.”
“What about your
family honour?” he asked in confusion.
“You think it’s honourable to force someone into a marriage with someone they don’t want to be married to? Especially to force your own daughter or son? Like, come on, what kinda loving parent is that?” Grace knew she was ranting, but this was a very big peeve of hers. She was so happy she had been born in the time she was and her father had left her relationships up to her.
“Keep your voice down, Grace. Do you want us to be found?” he hissed through closed teeth. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think. It was what was arranged and to go against that is dishonourable to me. You have some strange conceptions.”
“Put it down to me being American,” she muttered. “So now what? You are engaged to me and not the woman you were supposed to marry. You technically have brought dishonour not only to your family, but to Anne’s as well. And what about Grandpapa? Doesn’t our scandal dishonour him too?”
“Don’t you realise I know this?” His voice began to rise; obviously he’d forgotten about not wanting to be found. “I’m an honourable man, or at least I was until I met you.”
“So now it is my fault?” The gall of the man!
“I didn’t say that! You don’t understand. As you said, I have brought dishonour and scandal to three families, four if you count Neal’s, although I’m sure he can handle his own. I can’t fix it. But I did do the only thing I could at the time to protect you and by doing so I’ve caused grief and disillusionment to everyone else. Victoria will support me no matter what but I have destroyed the trust and friendship of my father’s greatest ally. Do you know what that’s like?”
“No, I can’t say that I do. I’m sorry, Jasper. I didn’t mean for all this to happen. Really, I didn’t.” She didn’t realise how big a mess she’d made when she arrived. Tears filled her eyes again and clogged her throat, making it even harder to say what she needed to. “I was just looking for…something. I don’t know. Maybe I’m kidding myself.” She turned her back on him as she choked out the words. “I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone since my family died. I couldn’t handle it. I don’t want to care for anyone again. I can’t survive losing anyone else. But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t resist touching you. I had too much to drink and with the time tr…well other things as well, I couldn’t help myself. I never expected to see you again after that night. I certainly didn’t mean for all this to happen. I’m sorry I have made you dishonourable, because to me that’s not the type of man you are.” The tears she was holding at bay streamed down her face as she made her way from the room. She only stubbed her toes twice.
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