by Izzy James
~*~
Drizzle obscured the morning. Field had laid awake most of the night wrestling with his thoughts. At some point, he must have slept. He knew that only because he’d wakened to the sound of the children playing on the stairs. He dressed and went in search of his man who had been making himself handy around the farm of late.
The family remained inside due to the rain. Sam in his office, the children scattered around Molly as she attempted to keep them occupied.
“Where is Delany?” Field asked Molly.
“She’s at Button Cove. She left early this morning to begin removing some of her things.”
A cold fear threaded through his gut.
“She went there alone?”
“Mr. Archer, Delany has been on her own for a long time. She knows how to take care of herself. Besides, the Seldons should arrive today.”
The Seldons’ impending arrival made him feel a little better but not good enough to release the fear that clenched his insides. She would be furious with him if he interfered, but he couldn’t leave until he knew she was safe. The thought of her alone at that house didn’t sit well with him at all.
23
Glad that the sun didn’t have the gall to shine this morning, Delany made her way slowly to Button Cove on squishy ground. She’d slept badly. She hoped the Seldons didn’t make it in the rain. She wasn’t in the mood to be nice or cheerful to anyone.
It was officially over. Her heart withered under the declaration.
It had been in front of her eyes the whole time. She’d been so blind. So busy focusing on his amber eyes and the red glint in his hair that she’d missed the most glaring incompatibility of all. They could never make anything of the feelings that she now thought they shared. It was a matter of principle. She would never own another person, and she couldn’t be married to one who did either. According to Field’s declaration last night, she could only conclude that he disagreed and would continue to run Archer Hall the way it had always been run—on the backs of slaves. She would have no part of it.
Delany stabled her horse and saw to his needs before entering her house. Inside was dark and hollow. She lit the fire already laid in the fireplace in the parlor and sat on the couch.
The crackle of the fire was the only sound inside. Delany gazed into the flames and saw her life stretch out before her, quiet and gray. She would miss the shop and its customers and artisans. Mr. Clayton, a shipwright with fingers as thick as cigars, who made clever wooden puzzle boxes in his spare time. The widow Blankenship, a lady with a sharp tongue and knack for making doll clothes. She would miss them.
It hadn’t been a wise move to come here to wait without her work basket. There wasn’t even a scrap of paper in the house so she could write a letter to Mr. Harris. She needed to instruct him to close her house and send specific items and effects on to her here.
The Seldons were to arrive within the hour. She would give them two. If they hadn’t arrived by then, she would go home to Molly’s. The colorful sounds of the children would comfort her heart.
Her heart stopped when the door opened and boots scraped across the wooden hallway.
“Delany.”
“Field. Death by fright is not how I wish to get to heaven.”
He took her hands into his own. “And how do you wish to get to heaven, my dear,” His teasing grin was perilously close. The electricity between them pulled her toward his lips and another kiss. She shook her head and stepped back.
“I will not go to heaven with you ever again.”
“So, you admit—ˮ
Was that triumph registering in his arrogant amber eyes?
“I admit nothing.”
He challenged her with a look.
“I will admit that I have thought that I was in love with you. There can be no shame in that any longer.”
Astonishment rose on his face.
“It’s no secret. I was infatuated with you as a child.” She cast her eyes down at the admission.
He stepped forward, no doubt to take her in his arms again.
“Stop,” she ordered.
His movement suspended like a clockwork toy, bewilderment on his features. How she loved that face, the teasing look of conspiracy in his eyes, the intimate smile he’d shared with her and no one else. He was open with her, like a little boy, and like a little boy, his heart was visible to her. She longed to reach up and caress his cheek and feel his lips on her own again.
“Am I allowed to speak?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes.” If she was to do what she must, she must hear him. He deserved a chance to say his piece. Then, as she walked that gray corridor that was to be her life, she would know that she had been fair to him.
“Delany Button, I love you.” The words she had dreamed to hear tasted like burnt pudding. He approached her again and took her hands and held them to his chest. “I wish to marry you.”
The brittle steel in her back cracked. “I cannot marry a man who owns other people.”
Frustration blew the breath from him. He dropped her hands. “It’s just not that simple.” He strode to the window and braced his hands on either side, back facing her. “It’s illegal to free slaves. I admit it was ingenious for you to pay them so they could buy their freedom.” He swung around to face her. “How do I do that with hundreds?”
“It is simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple,” she countered.
His broad shoulders sagged.
“This is what it’s to be?” The amber of his eyes darkened to a muddy brown. “I have searched every country looking for you,” he stormed. “I found you here, under my nose all this time. You, who are born and bred of this place, cannot live with me on its terms?”
The steel forged and strengthened once more. “I am not born of this place. I was brought here as a servant.”
He stilled at her declaration.
“I am still a servant to the only One who never left me. The One who sent His Son to die for me. He has my allegiance, and I will not betray Him for you or anyone else.”
He took her hands once more. “What will I do without you?”
“You will do what you have always done. Live and breathe and farm. Maybe someday you will find someone else.”
Muddy brown turned to brown pebbles. He closed and she could no longer see his heart.
“I shall leave for the Morgans’ home directly.” He walked down the hallway and out of the house.
Tears dripped from her chin. He was gone this time, and he would never come back. Grief tore through her midsection. She found the couch and lay sobbing. What would she do without him? When she was a child, she’d loved as a child. She knew this was no fleeting affection. She would never be the same. She coiled into a ball. How could this happen? Why would You let me love him so? she screamed upward and then punched the couch. If there was patience in the silence, she didn’t feel it. Pounding the couch with her fists was surprisingly helpful. She dealt a final blow and sat up. She didn’t wish to be found by the Seldons this way. Delany glanced at her clock.
The Seldons were overdue.
On the ride home, a clear blue patch of sky was visible in the north.
“Mr. Archer isn’t here,” Molly informed her when she sat at the desk in the parlor. Delany pulled Christopher into her lap after he raised his hands. The boy wrapped his chubby little arms around her neck and squeezed. Her spirits lifted a shade. These little arms were better than any tonic for her black mood. “Has he left for the Morgans’ home?” Her deceitful heart betrayed her and deflated at the news.
“He hasn’t taken his leave of me, so I don’t think so. Delany, what has happened?” Molly put her arm around Delany’s shoulder. “Have you parted ways?”
Constriction built in her throat. She nodded her ascent. “I refused him.”
Molly’s eyebrows furrowed and creased her otherwise smooth forehead. “Why? I thought you loved him.”
“You know why.”
“I’ve hear
d the Archers are exceptional owners; they never beat their slaves. They are treated well there, Delany.”
“I stand by my position. No one should own another person. It doesn’t matter if you treat them nicely. They are not free to be who God intended them to be.”
“You know I agree with you, but you have to make allowances for people to grow. Not everything is black and white.”
“This is.”
Delany hadn’t fully recovered when Isaac Harrison strode into the room wearing a black suit that accented his wide shoulders.
Molly raised her eyebrows at Delany and stood to greet their guest.
“Welcome, Mr. Harrison. I believe Mr. Fleet is in his office.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Fleet, but I came to see the other Mrs. Fleet.”
This day was going from bad to worse. He’d clearly missed her message about friendship last night.
Isaac turned to Delany. “The day has turned quite fine. Would you care to take a walk with me?”
No, I would rather sit here and write a letter to my attorney. “Of course.” She stood, hoping that her black mood would not leak out and damage their friendship.
Once they’d reached the porch, he offered his arm. Delany placed her hand on his strong arm wishing it was Field’s. They walked past the dependencies and out toward the lane. They headed in the opposite direction of Button Cove.
“Delany, I am sure you must have surmised why I’ve come to talk to you.”
What could she say to that? You’ve come here so that I can break your heart?
“Isaac, I’m—ˮ
“It’s my mother.”
“What?” A little spark of sunshine peeked out of her worry. Sarah was bright and cheerful last night. Nothing drastic could have happened in the small time they’d been apart.
“You are my mother’s very best friend, and I know she will listen to you.”
“What’s the matter with your mother?”
“She’s forsaken her widow’s black and is dressing like a woman half her age. I think she’s hunting for a husband.”
Delany laughed.
“This is not a laughing matter, Delany. My mother is not a young woman. She has some money to live on, and I am worried that someone will take advantage of her.”
“Is there anyone in particular you are worried about?”
“No. That’s the problem. There is not one particular gentleman. She’s acting like a girl fresh out of the schoolroom. If there was someone in particular, I could look into it and determine suitability. As it is, she is running about willy-nilly.”
“I know you will forgive me if I speak too freely.”
“Of course. I’ve come for your advice and intervention, if necessary. You needn’t spare my feelings.”
“Isaac, you must agree that your mother has her own free will, and she can do with her life as she pleases.”
“That goes without saying. Of course, she can do as she wishes. I only want what’s best for her. Most people remarry within a few months of widowhood.”
“You haven’t,” she prodded.
“Neither have you.”
“I haven’t a need to. Tom left me well off and…” She let the thought trail off. She couldn’t tell him that now she was in love with someone she could never have.
“I loved Polly. We grew up together, and there just isn’t anyone else for me.”
“Have you told your mother that?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Your mother has been a widow for five years. What do you think has caused this sudden change?”
“You think she’s trying to force me to marry?”
“I think she might want you to feel free to marry, which is a very different thing altogether.”
He took a deep breath and exhaled. “When will people get it through their heads that when and if I wish to marry, I will take care of it myself?”
“I promise I will go see her, but I think you’d better have a talk with her yourself.”
~*~
Field watched Delany stroll with Harrison from the top of the small ridge that crested to the east of the road. It didn’t take long for her to move on. Is that what she meant by him finding someone else? Had she found someone that quickly? Harrison had been hovering around since they’d arrived at the Fleets’ home.
Once he’d seen her safely home from her house, he’d ridden farther to stretch his horse and himself. The ride had done nothing to relieve his tension. He would have to leave soon. If it was next to impossible to watch her walk with Harrison, it would be downright unbearable to see her give herself to him in marriage.
The sky opened up a squall just as he arrived in the barn. The rain would set him back a day or two while the roads dried, but it wouldn’t keep him from going to the Morgans’ home.
24
A groom met Field in the Morgans’ barn. He’d handed the reins over and headed to the house when he caught sight of Hester’s chestnut hair behind the walls of a stall. She wore a plain muslin gown, her hair hung in a long braid down her back. Minus the cages of fashion, she was as small as a schoolgirl.
“Hester, I’d forgotten I should expect to see you in a barn.”
She sniffled and turned to face him. “Field, I’m sure we didn’t expect to see you today in all this rain.” She spoke carefully as though she weighed every word.
“No. I just rode over. Thought I’d spend a couple of days before I head home. Simon is expecting me.”
“Of course, you are most welcome. You will find Simon with my uncle in the library.” She turned back toward her horse and continued brushing the sorrel coat.
He resumed his path to the house.
“Field,” she called.
He faced her.
“I believe I owe you an apology.”
“How so?”
“You needn’t be kind. My brother gave me quite a dressing down last night.” She kept her hand on the back of the horse as she made her way around to the other side while murmuring reassuring words to the large animal. “It seems that you are to be congratulated, and I am to keep my ‘disdainful comments’ to myself.”
“It’s hard to imagine…”
“What? My scholarly brother raising his voice?” she laughed. “That’s probably why he got away with it. I was absolutely stunned into silence at first.” She stepped away from her horse, “My apology must be for Mrs. Fleet but also for you.” Her gaze slipped from him to the open barn door and back again, “My comments were rude and unfeeling, and I am sorry for them.”
He accepted her apology and quickly made for the house.
“For what am I to be congratulated?” Field asked Simon after they had settled in the back parlor alone.
“I assume you shall be engaged to Delany Fleet in the very near future if you are not already.”
Field closed his eyes and breathed deep. “Am I that obvious?”
“It won’t come as a surprise to those who truly know you. You’ve been sweet on her since we were kids.”
“Have I?”
“Did you think all that talk of her being a servant fooled me? She followed you around, and you let her. There’s only one reason for that.”
Field felt blood tinge his ears. “She refused me.”
“What did you do to her?”
“What do you mean?” Frustration rose. “I’ve done nothing. You heard the crux of her argument in the altercation with Hester. Thank you, by the way.”
Simon nodded and rested back in his chair, legs open, hands resting on the arms. It was his professorial pose. “I came in late, just in time to hear my sister deride Delany for being a servant.”
“Her issue is with slavery. She will not own any and will not marry someone who owns them either.”
“Technically you don’t own any,” Simon supplied.
“It doesn’t signify because I will inherit Archer Hall and its servants.”
“True.”
“So, whi
le I don’t own any slaves, I will, and so she will not have me.” Saying the words out loud made the bleak truth more real. His heart cried out, “Do something,” but all he could do was study the carpet at Simon’s feet.
“So that’s that.” Simon’s abrupt tone snapped Field’s attention. “You’ll walk away, just like that.”
“What else can I do? I’m a gentleman. I cannot force her, I would not.”
“Don’t be a fool. What are your other options?”
“I can’t just release all my slaves. They’ll starve. Whole families turned out, nowhere to go…”
“It’s something we will all have to come to terms with.”
This turn in the conversation did not surprise him. Simon was a scientist and philosopher. “This nation is being built on the very idea that England is making slaves of us with their oppressive laws. We are building a nation of free men. How can we not free them?”
Field kept his gaze on his friend. “The patriots are outraged at Dunmore’s threat to free the slaves. It has made him most unpopular,” Field countered.
“So I hear daily from my uncle. I can afford to be objective for I, like you, have not come into my inheritance. I’ve been thinking of what to do about it.”
“We cannot just turn them out. Not only is it illegal, they would starve. And we need their labor.”
Simon contracted in his chair to sit up straight, fingers woven together across his spare stomach. “That assumes that you agree freeing them is the path we must follow.”
Field stood at the crossroads. The words of that minister, Wesley, whispered in his ears. “Liberty is the right of every human creature…and no human law can deprive him of that right…” He knew in an instant that required no further thought than freedom was the right course of action. “I think we must.” As he said it, his conviction grew. How could it be otherwise? A burden he didn’t realize he’d carried lifted from his shoulders.
“It must be possible, if we look at it mathematically, to release them in such a way as to benefit us both.”
“Fleet has done it, but he told me himself he only had eight when he freed them. How do I free hundreds?”