Finally, the music died. The sound of bare feet slapping against the hardwood floor of the hallway made me walk faster. No way I wanted to talk to him. Not now. Would I ever?
“Kennedy? Slow down.”
Before I could get away, Jerrod’s fingers closed around my arm. “Let go.”
“I need to talk to you.”
I yanked my arm from his grip. “I can’t imagine anything you’d say that I’d want to hear. How could you? Why… Why did you…?
“Kennedy.” He placed his hands on my shoulders, like he was going to hug me.
“Get off.” The thought of where his hands might have just been, made me want to lose my breakfast. I stepped back, his hands falling to his sides. He looked ridiculous, standing there, naked, like he’d forgotten where he’d put his clothes.
The door behind him opened wider. The woman’s blond head peeked around the door. “Jerrod, honey?”
Honey?
I ground my teeth together. “How long, Jerrod?”
“What?”
“You know what. How long have you and this-this slut been—”
“Hey!” The woman stepped into the hall. Still naked, like she didn’t care who saw her. She was skinny, where I was curvy. Was that what Jerrod wanted? A girl with hardly any figure? I shook my head. Why did I care? The fact that he’d slept with someone else should have been all that mattered.
Jerrod turned to the slut. “Go ahead and get dressed, Cleo.”
She pouted. “You mean we’re done?”
He let out a long breath. “Just… get dressed, okay?”
She disappeared and the door closed.
I crossed my arms. “I can’t believe you’d…” I blinked, determined not to cry. Though Jerrod and I didn’t always get along, I never thought he’d cheat on me. Never.
“Babe.” He reached out again.
“Do not touch me. Or call me that.” I backed away, stopping only when I felt the wall behind me.
“Listen, it was just one of those things, you know?”
“No. I don’t know. I’ve never cheated on you.”
He raised one eyebrow. “With all those guys you meet at your auditions? Come on.”
“I have never cheated on you. Not once.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. The fact that you could even think so makes me wonder if I ever really knew you.”
“You’ve known me for years.”
I pointed toward the closed door. “Obviously not well enough.”
He glanced over his shoulder and back. “It’s just that… she does things, uh…”
“Excuse me?” I clenched my hands into fists. I looked down and back up. “Why don’t you go put some pants on, at least?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, okay.”
I stood in the hall, ready to lash into the skinny chick who’d just done my boyfriend. Wait… Did I really want to see her any more than I already had? I shook my head and hightailed it to the bedroom. I closed the door behind me and looked around. Everything seemed to be just as I’d left it a few hours earlier. Pillows alternating by color and my stuffed owl sitting square in the middle of them. At least Jerrod hadn’t slept with her in our bed.
This time.
Had there been other times? Other women? My stomach clenched. No, don’t think about it.
I pressed my ear against the door when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Muffled voices. Was Jerrod telling her he was sorry, that he couldn’t see her anymore? Or were they making plans for their next rendezvous?
The front door closed. Not slammed, so maybe they hadn’t fought. What did that mean for me?
Did I want to stay with him after what he’d done? My skin crawled. I couldn’t imagine ever letting him touch me again. Not after I knew those hands had touched someone else.
I sat down on the bed and waited. Not that I wanted to talk to him, but it was necessary. No way I was going to ignore what I’d walked in on.
That girl. Wait, I’ve seen her before. I lowered my eyebrows. Where… Right, she was at an audition I was at about a month earlier. Jerrod was seeing another actress? Guess that was his type. Though nothing else about us was the same. My red hair and her blond were completely different. And her bony body looked like it belonged to a scarecrow. I was curvy. Did he equate that with fat?
The doorknob turned, squeaking, as usual. Jerrod appeared, wearing jeans and nothing else. He rubbed his hand over his short, spiked hair. “Listen, about what you saw…”
I crossed my arms, partly from anger, partly to hold my broken heart in place inside my chest.
Jerrod took a step, like he was going to sit on the bed. I gave him my most vicious glare. And this time, I wasn’t doing it for an audition. I was so angry, it had to be palpable. He stopped, took a step back, and leaned against the closed door.
I dug my fingernails into the skin on my upper arms. “Well, I’m waiting to hear your excuse.”
“Excuse?”
“Aren’t you going to make something up?”
He shook his head slowly. “Wasn’t going to.”
“Then, what, Jerrod. What can you possibly say to make this okay?”
His shoulders lifted in a slight shrug.
“That’s it? A shrug?” I hugged my arms tighter around my middle. “Where does this leave us?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just walked into to our apartment to see you having sex on our couch with someone who wasn’t me. That’s not something I’m just going to get over.”
“Tell me what you want to hear.”
“What I want… How about you tell me the truth? Not just what you think I want to hear.”
Jerrod stuck his hands in his back jeans pockets like a little kid caught doing something wrong.
Which is exactly what he is.
“Listen,” he said, “I didn’t think you’d…”
“What, be home so early?”
His face reddened.
“Jerrod, you can’t have it both ways.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Me. Or. Her.”
“Now, hold on.”
“How long have you been seeing her?” I clutched the fabric of my shirt so tight I’m surprised it didn’t rip.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. You owe me the truth if nothing else.” I didn’t want to hear it. But I had to. Since I’d discovered what he’d done, there was no going back.
He sighed. “All right. A little less than a year.”
“What?” I covered my mouth with my hand. A year?
“Honey—”
“Don’t.” My heart thudded against my ribs so hard I thought I’d pass out. “I won’t put up with it, Jerrod. Do you hear me?”
“I hear you.” He scuffed his bare foot on the floor.
“If you choose her over me, I’m outta here. I can’t live with you when you’re seeing someone else. So, what’s it going to be?” Trying to appear strong, like I was in control of my emotions, I dropped my arms to my sides and sat up straighter.
He blinked. “I honestly don’t know.”
And with that, he left the room.
Chapter Three
Though I longed to fling myself on the bed and weep for hours, I didn’t have that luxury. I didn’t have time to stew about it nor could I sit around and wait for Jerrod to make up his mind. My job at the shoe store was the main reason I could eat. I’d already been late to work twice because of auditions. My manager was getting annoyed with me. Had told me if I was late one more time, he’d can my butt.
I checked my watch, willing the director to stop flirting with the girl who’d just auditioned so I could get mine out of the way. Come on… I need to get out of here.
Finally, he gave a wink to the girl, ogled her as she walked away, looked down at his clipboard, and called my name. I hurried out to center stage, trying to keep my insides from exploding. My stomach had been upset ever since finding Jerrod and Miss Slut o
n our couch.
“What are you going to sing for me?” The director peered at me over his reading glasses, suddenly looking bored after the previous girl had left.
“Tomorrow.”
He waved his hand. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I relaxed my hands at my sides, braced my feet a few inches apart, and concentrated on my breathing. If I let myself get over-excited, I might drift into hyperventilation and fall, gasping onto the floor.
Unfortunately, I know from personal experience.
“The sun will come out, tomorrow…” I gave it my all. My pitch was perfect. I hit every note, even the high one near the end. Unfortunately, the director barely looked at me. In fact, he spent most of my song writing something on his clipboard. I had a pretty good idea he was drawling doodles until I was done.
He barely glanced up and said, “Fine. We’ll be in touch.” He gave me the royal wave of his hand as in, go away. I hurried across the stage to grab my purse. Checking my watch again, I groaned. If things went just right, I might squeak by and make it on time to the store.
I raced out of the building into the cloudy day, onto the sidewalk, filled with the congestion of people, each one appearing irritated, even angry, that they couldn’t get where they needed to be. Normally, I wasn’t a pushy person. Today, however, I stuck out my pointy elbows, making my way through the crowd like a shark through thick seaweed. I shoved, I stomped, I yelled, whenever someone wouldn’t move aside.
I have to make it to The Shoe Shoppe on time!
Finally, I reached the store, flung open the door, and stopped, trying to catch my breath. The first thing I saw was my boss standing in front of the cash register counter, brows lowered, his arm held out, the face of his watch in full view. The second thing I saw was the clock on the wall.
Two minutes late.
Please have a heart, Mr. Cummings. I need this job.
“Miss Cooper.”
“Good afternoon, Mr. Cummings.” I swallowed hard. Hoping his next words would be kind ones.
He stepped toward me, patent leathers hitting the tile floor hard, too hard, like he wanted to stomp the life out of something. Like maybe, me. “Miss Cooper, as you can see—” He tilted his head toward the wall clock. “—you are indeed late.”
“Yes sir, but—”
He held up his hand, the fluorescent light directly above him glinting from his watch. “I told you that you only had one chance left.”
“Yes, Mr. Cummings, but—”
He edged closer. Would he put me on probation? Make me work the crappy evening hours? Or… “I have no choice but to let you go.”
Let you go. My heart nearly exploded. “No, please, I was only a couple minutes late and—”
“You seem to have trouble deciding if you want to be an actress—” He said the word like it contained some vile bacteria. “—or have a career in sales.”
Career? I was only there for the paycheck so I wouldn’t starve. Who’d want to deal with putting shoes on stinky feet for their whole life? “But I—”
“I’m assuming you’re late, again, because you were at some sort of audition?”
“Well… yes.”
“Then that’s it. You’re fired. Please turn in your name badge, register key, and remove anything you wish to keep from your employee locker.”
“No…” The sigh that came from my lips seemed three minutes long.
“I’m afraid so. Your final check will be deposited in your account at the next payday in two weeks.” He crossed his arms, tapped his shiny brown loafer, and waited.
My heart landed in my toes. What would I do for money now? I was already in debt to Jerrod for rent. And the way things were with him now, I didn’t relish the thought of asking for another favor.
Mortified that not only Mr. Cummings watched me gather my things from my locker, but two of the other sales associates, as well, I snatched the few items and stuffed them into my purse. Then, head held high, hoping my tears waited until I got out the door, I hurried past them back out to the sidewalk. It had started to rain, which fit my black moody perfectly. It was only sprinkling and at that point. I didn’t care what I looked like anyway, so I trudged down the street, letting the rain and wind do what they wished with my hair.
I wandered aimlessly for a while, peeking through store windows at items I couldn’t afford, dodging homeless people to whom I couldn’t contribute anything to their collection cups, and wanting to scream at each and every person who jostled me. Oh, the irony of how I’d so brazenly pushed people out of my way a short time before.
A rumble of thunder came from above, making me jump. My hair was well-saturated at that point and I suddenly longed to go home and get into something dry. Besides, gazing in store windows wasn’t doing me any good. With no money to spend on retail therapy for my battered ego, I headed home.
Home.
After what I’d walked in on with Jerrod, that word didn’t mean the same warm, cozy thing anymore.
Would it ever?
Or was home really the farm where I’d grown up in a large family, all taking turns tending to the alpacas?
No, that place hadn’t been home, at least not to me, in such a long while.
With nowhere else to turn, I headed to the apartment. Jerrod was scheduled to work today at an upscale Italian restaurant, so at least I wouldn’t have to face him. Would I ever be able to see him again without thinking of that woman?
When I reached the building, I looked up at it with new eyes. Had it always been so shabby, so neglected-looking and sad? Shortly after I started dating Jerrod and he asked me to move in with him, I’d been elated. It had been a step up from the small apartment I’d shared with two other actresses I’d met through an online actors’ guild board. They’d posted an ad wanting another roommate, and I’d been so grateful to find them.
But over the next few months, we’d grown progressively intolerant of each other. The fact that we’d often all be up for the same roles and were thrown into instant competition had made the tension in the apartment unbearable. After I moved out, I’d heard that those two hadn’t even stayed together as roommates.
When I reached the door, I stopped before putting in my key. I stood still and listened, nearly afraid I’d walk in on something again. But I didn’t hear anything. No voices. No loud music. I let out a long breath and went inside.
The lights were all off, which was weird. It was so dark, had Jerrod left the blinds closed too? He was the one who always left a light on, saying he wanted the apartment to feel welcoming on those occasions when I came home to an empty place. So, was the fact that he hadn’t done it this time a bad sign? Maybe he was trying to tell me he’d already made his decision, that he was choosing the other woman over me.
I edged inside and shut the door, making sure I locked it behind me. That habit had started shortly after I’d come to New York. On the farm, we’d never bothered. No one in our sleepy little town would have harmed us. Would I ever be that trusting again?
The light switch was, unfortunately, not right inside the door. There was hardly any light in the room. I shuffled two steps forward—
My shins smacked against something. I flailed my arms and went down, crashing on top of some kind of heavy container.
What in the world?
I pushed up on my knees, edged around the stumbling block and felt along the wall to the light switch. After blinking a couple of times to get used to the light, I turned around.
My mouth fell open. What I’d fallen over wasn’t a box. It was suitcases.
Mine.
That son of a bitch had packed my bags! I checked around the whole place. He wasn’t there, though since the lights were out, I hadn’t thought so. He’d emptied my closets and drawers of every stitch of clothing I had. All my stuff from the bathroom was gone, as well. I blinked. He’d obviously made his decision, the rat. How could he do this? We’d been together for years.
Anger, swift and hot, took over my m
ind and hands. Going fast, not stopping to think about what I was doing, I ripped his pictures from the wall. Tore down the shower curtain. Dumped his toothbrush, comb, and expensive watch into the waiting water of the toilet. Scissors made his two sets of sheets into ribbons. And not one coffee mug, drinking glass, or plate remained intact. My heart was beating hard, like I’d just done an intense workout. Guess in a way, I had. I’d just lost one hundred and seventy pounds named Jerrod.
I thought about leaving him a note, telling him what I thought of him, but as I glanced around at the mayhem that was now his apartment, I’d let that speak for itself.
Now what?
I stared down at my two large suitcases. Thankfully, they both had handle extensions so I could pull them instead of carry. But first, I had to lug them down the stairs.
I was sweaty from my destroying frenzy, but I wanted to get out. Get away from everything that reminded me of him.
Time to go.
By the time I got both suitcases to the hall beside the door, I was soaked with sweat. I looked out the window, disappointed that the rain had stopped. It might have cooled me off. As I opened the door to the street, the heat blasted my face. Terrific.
I placed one suitcase on top of the other, fastened it in place with straps, and extended the handle of the lower one. I got a few passing glances from strangers as I trundled along the sidewalk, but it didn’t last long. People who lived in the city had seen it all. A woman with wet clothes, straggling hair, who pulled luggage wouldn’t faze them much.
The sun came out full blast, making the heat worse. I yanked my suitcases behind me, walking fast, couldn’t seem to help it, as if my legs longed to put as much distance between me and the man I’d loved.
When I came to the next intersection, traffic was heavy, forcing me to stop on the corner. I looked around, not even sure how I’d gotten so far. I’d been so intent on getting away that I hadn’t paid attention to where I was going.
Where was I going?
I didn’t have close friends in the city, as all my free time aside from auditions and work had been spent with Jerrod. There was no one to call for a ride anywhere. Or to beg a few nights on someone’s couch until I planned what to do next.
Reluctant Reunion Page 2