The aftermath had left a jumble within her. Until now, the fact that Leigh was her CO had kept her emotions mostly reined in. But now she had so much real life experience to feed her clearly senseless imagination. Her self-control had shut up shop and abandoned her. More than a few times in the last thirty-two hours she’d imagined finding Leigh alone and letting herself get lost in him, no matter how reckless or career-endingly suicidal it was.
A stinging dose of guilt burned through her, however, because even thinking about taking things to that level worsened her confusion.
Everything was such a mess, and the more time she spent with him, the deeper her feelings for him grew.
But one issue was plainly apparent. She was totally screwed.
Even if she happened to get through the program and ended up posted under Leigh’s command, she would never be able to separate her feelings for him, never see him as just her CO. It was too late for that.
Maybe if she could just get through the rest of the training program, she could ask for a posting elsewhere—one not on the front lines—instead of staying in the FP squadron. She’d never heard of it being done before, because most people would give their left arm to be in the squad, but surely it was possible? She had no idea what that would mean for her career, but putting distance between Leigh and her seemed like the most important detail in this equation.
With a sigh, she pulled the headphones out of her ears, the music starting to grate on her nerves. Actually, everything was getting on her nerves. She had this tension inside of her that she didn’t know what to do with. It had kept her awake half of last night, kept her wired, and continuously sent her thoughts off into a million different directions at once.
“I feel like I should be surprised to find you here, but somehow I’m just not.”
She jumped at the low voice above her and looked up to see Leigh leaning against the open edge of the cockpit. With her music going, she hadn’t heard him climb up the side.
She pressed a hand to the middle of her chest, willing her heart rate to settle. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He braced his arms along the edge of the hatch. “You do realize this is my jet you’re sitting in?”
She glanced down at the dark control screen, but of course it didn’t have an ID tag anywhere that read Captain Leigh Alphin. Out of all the jets on the launch deck, how on earth had she managed to end up in his? She’d simply picked this ship because it had been off to the side, one of its wings half under a tarp for repairs.
“No, I didn’t know.” She looked back up at him, the tension within her climbing as she took in the way he stared down at her.
“So what are you doing up here?”
She tapped the datapad in her lap. “I started on those profiles for you and was running some system checks, searching for anomalies. Obviously I couldn’t do that in my dorm room.”
“So you decided to sneak into a restricted area instead?” He didn’t sound incredulous or annoyed, just mildly curious, maybe even a little impressed.
She shrugged. “I figured I was already so screwed if I got caught, it wouldn’t matter in the scheme of things. I couldn’t think of anywhere else I wasn’t likely to be found. I suppose you’re annoyed because you told me not to go off on my own after what happened in the ready room a few days ago.”
“You’re a big girl. You make your own decisions. Plus, you beat Lieutenant Brenner on the mats. In most situations, I’m sure you can hold your own.” He lowered his chin to rest on his forearm, gaze shifting to the datapad in her hands. “So have you got anything yet?”
She glanced down at the screen; it was certainly a lot easier concentrating on the information, especially considering where she’d been letting her thoughts drift earlier. And recalling that sent a flush of heat through her chest, making her heartbeat pick up speed.
“Not yet. Building a complete profile is time consuming, so it’s probably going to take me a few days to get through the entire squadron. And despite what happened on the transit yesterday, all of the Knox’s systems seem to be working like they should so far.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
She tilted her head back to look up at him with a half smile. “Sure, if you suddenly learned how to navigate these systems yourself without leaving a trace.”
“And what if I did?” Although he didn’t smile, she could see a spark of amusement in his eyes.
“Then I guess you wouldn’t need me anymore.”
“Well then you’re lucky that I’ve still got no idea how to do any of that tech stuff, and I definitely still need you.” He clambered higher on the side of the hatch. “Scoot forward.”
She met his gaze, not quite sure what he was getting at. Sure, it seemed like a simple enough instruction, but what could he—
“Come on. Don’t stare at me like I’m the crazy one, since you thought this was such a good place to hide out. Scoot forward and make room for me.”
While the fighter jets usually only took one pilot, they had been designed to fit two in an emergency. She shifted forward in the seat, coming closer to the controls, while Leigh dropped in behind her and stretched his legs out on either side of her thighs.
His arms closed around her, hands joining hers where she held the datapad.
Her heart stuttered at having him so close, at the feel of his body around hers, but she turned her attention back to the datapad with staunch determination to act as if practically sitting in his lap was no big deal.
He murmured, “Show me some of what you’re doing. Maybe I’ll be a quick study.”
Mia glanced over her shoulder, stealing a quick look at Leigh’s profile. “Okay, so I’ve opened the personnel files for a start. I’ve already completed several profiles, and I’ve got a program currently building another.” For the next few minutes, it was easy enough to focus on the datapad, showing him how a few of the processes worked and how she accessed the information.
“You’ve really got this covered,” he said at last, sounding impressed. “Maybe you should be aiming to join Command Intelligence instead.”
She made a face, not that he could see it since he was sitting behind her. “No thanks. I don’t actually enjoy all this sneaking around and working in the shadows. I’m doing it out of necessity, believe me.”
His hand loosened on the edge of the datapad, skimming lightly up her arm until he reached her collarbone, brushing some strands of hair off her neck and leaving tingles in wake of his touch. “In case I haven’t said it already, thank you, Mia. You didn’t have to help me, especially after what happened yesterday.”
She half turned, wishing she could see his face. “You’re welcome—”
He cut off her words, taking her mouth in a sudden, forceful kiss.
She melted, just immediately liquefied into a boneless heap against the cradle of his arms around her. His lips against hers made the tension she’d carried the past few days snap free. The relief was acute, rushing through her like fuel running off a spark.
If she’d known all she needed was for Leigh to kiss her, then maybe she would have given more serious consideration to the idea of finding him alone somewhere. Instead, he’d found her. All that pressure within her, it had been everything she’d pushed down when it came to him; the truth of just how much she wanted him, how deeply she’d come to care for him.
This was the last thing they should be doing. Hadn’t she just told herself how messy things already were? Yet after everything that had happened, her views on right and wrong had taken a drastic turn. And she couldn’t imagine being anywhere other than here with Leigh, like all the resistance against her feelings had been pointless, because this had been inevitable.
She twisted her body, rotating to press herself flush up against him. And then somehow she managed to maneuver her thighs over his legs, his large hand on her butt helping her slide into his lap.
Oh yeah. This was w
hat she wanted, Leigh up against her with no chance of escaping and the likelihood of them being caught almost nonexistent. Still, the knowledge of just how forbidden this was sparked an extra thrill in her already rushing blood.
She rubbed herself against him, unabashedly taking this moment for all it was worth before one of them came to their senses. Leigh groaned, his hands tightening where he held her hips. And then his fingers were tugging at her shirt, loosening fasteners with careless haste. Her shirt gone, her undershirt and bra didn’t stand a chance. Leigh had them off and her breasts bared to his roaming hands in a matter of moments.
Getting rid of everything between them seemed like a great idea. She grabbed the edges of his uniform jacket and pushed, until he sat forward enough for her to shove the garment down his arms and out of the way. And then his shirt had to go, and she fumbled over each catch, since she couldn’t bring herself to stop kissing him long enough to concentrate on one task at a time.
As she parted the sides of his shirt and got her hands on his muscled, heated flesh at last, Leigh started working the fastenings on her pants. They were definitely in the way. She ached to feel the rigid length of his erection pressed against her core, to relieve the throbbing that had started the second his lips had touched hers.
Unfortunately, to get out of her pants, she had to stop kissing him. She held her breath, certain he would end this as soon as he got more than a second to think about what they were doing. But his gaze roamed her body, leaving tendrils of fire licking under her skin in the wake of his heated gunmetal-blue stare. Emotion avalanched onto her from all directions. As much as burning desire had overridden the reservations she’d clung to, the man Leigh had proven to be destroyed any hope of keeping hold of her heart. He trusted her, respected her, protected her time and again.
As she sank back toward him, not a stitch of clothing on any longer, Leigh yanked her up against him, his mouth finding the tip of her breast with unerring certainty. She speared her hands into his short hair and let her head drop back, giving him free rein to lave his tongue over her nipples, followed by the decadent scrape of his teeth.
“Mia,” he murmured against the base of her throat, his deep voice sending a cascade of shivers down her spine. “Take me, Mia. Take all of me and do whatever you want.”
Her heart clenched, even as her feelings for him swelled, leaving her in dangerous territory where she knew without a doubt, she was already more than halfway in love with him. Would she be so ready to put herself in danger, to sacrifice her spot in the FP program to protect him, or even be here now, risking everything for one moment of euphoria with him, if she weren’t?
Leigh dropped one hand, the back of his knuckles brushing the sensitive insides of her thighs as he unfastened his pants. She let one of her hands fall to his shoulder, preparing to take him exactly where they both wanted to go, but at the last second, her courage failed her.
Were they really about to do this? They couldn’t come back from here. Once they were joined, once they were bared to each other and shared that moment of definitive completion, everything would change. Probably for the worse.
But then Leigh cupped her jaw, bringing her face closer to his. In his steady, intense regard, she saw through every insulating layer he’d built around himself, saw the man beneath who had nothing beyond his career, and what it meant that he would risk it all to be with her for this short time they had.
The last little piece of her resolve cracked and fell away. She shifted forward, keeping his mesmerizing gaze as she took him inside of her and let him slide home.
Pleasure rippled through her, and it was all she could do not to lose herself to a hard and fast climax. Leigh set his hands on her upper thighs, just below her hips and gave her the pace, taking control of the moment, despite the fact that she was on top of him.
She let him build a steady rhythm, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and holding on for dear life as the momentum built inside of her. He tilted her face and caught her mouth in an impassioned kiss, the sheer emotional depth behind it spearing straight into her soul. The final onslaught ripped her over the edge, and she cried out against his mouth.
Leigh clamped her harder to him, and she experienced the shuddering release overtaking him in every place their bodies touched, even as she felt the hot spurt of him coming deep inside her. She’d had sex before, but none of those encounters had been anywhere near as intimate as this single moment, where she realized that this was what people meant when they talked about making love.
She sighed as he loosened his hold on her a little, breaking the kiss, but resting his forehead against hers. For a long moment, they simply breathed together, and with every pound of her heart, a contentment the likes of which Mia had never experienced before spread through her, like the rosy glow of summer sunset.
Too soon, reality began creeping back in, along with the slight chill of the air against her damp skin. But she couldn’t let him go, not yet. She sank against him, her limbs shivery and limp. Leigh altered his hold on her until they were hugging, with her cheek against his chest and his arms wrapped securely around her.
Okay, so she’d get up in a few minutes, once she was sure her legs would cooperate. And if she slipped into a sated doze, then he’d surely wake her up in a little while.
She tightened her embrace and let her thoughts fall into comfortable silence.
The pins and needles in his hand were starting to get critical, but Leigh didn’t want to move, enjoying the slight, sweet-scented weight of the woman on top of him.
Mia.
His heart skipped a rushed beat, and he lifted his free hand to run a light stroke over her mussed golden hair. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this exact depth of peace.
It was a far cry from the head-aching stress he’d been walking around with all week. Since the incident in the transit yesterday, he’d had a sense of things being incomplete. Like there was something he needed to do, he just couldn’t work out what it was. He’d put it down to the lingering adrenaline in his system and the stress of knowing there was a traitor hiding in plain sight.
When he’d come up to the alpha level launch deck, he hadn’t been looking for Mia. He’d had no clue she was up here. He’d been planning to do some maintenance on his jet, get his hands dirty and shut his mind down with a menial task, something that had worked well for him in the past. Instead, he’d found temptation sitting inside his jet, and all the reasons for resisting his attraction to her had simply fallen away, leaving him with the certainty that in that moment, Mia had been the only thing he needed.
Now, he felt like the pressure had lifted and he could breathe again, like when the cool fresh air had flooded into the transit car yesterday. The relief inundating his system at finally giving into his need for Mia had been much the same.
With a slight shift and a reach forward, he tapped the screen of the jet and glanced at the clock display in the corner. Oh one hundred.
Damn it, there was a night patrol due to come through at oh one thirty. They probably didn’t have much time—sometimes the night patrol ran late, but occasionally they ran early. The last thing he needed was to be found half naked in a fighter jet with one of his recruits even more naked and perched on top of him. Yeah, his career would never come back from that.
He’d have to wake her up and get them out of here, but the last thing he wanted to do was go back to an empty bed alone. For half a second, the totally insane thought of taking Mia back to his apartment crossed his mind. Except there was no way of getting her there without someone seeing them, even at this time of night. They’d get caught, and then he’d be hearing from Commander Yang later today. And then probably be looking for another posting. However, while he had Mia in his arms like this, he couldn’t dredge up as much concern for the prospect as he should.
“Mia.” He whispered her name against her ear, smoothing a tangle of hair from the side of her face. “Wake up, sweetheart. We can’t stay here any
longer.”
She murmured, but simply snuggled deeper into his hold, her face in the crook of his neck, plump lips brushing his collarbone.
Treacherous pleasure trickled beneath his skin, seeping downward and pooling in his groin.
“Mia.” He stroked her back and told himself he was trying to wake her up…and not thinking about starting all over again.
Okay, he totally did want to start up all over again, despite the fact that they could get busted at any second. The only thing worse than being caught naked with one of his recruits? Being caught naked and in the middle of making love to one of his recruits.
“What time is it?” Mia grumbled, before yawning.
“Oh one hundred.”
She sat back, gaze all sleepy and grouchy as she looked at him. “Couldn’t you just let me sleep for another half hour?”
He grinned at her as she pushed her hair back and fumbled for the elastic, which had slipped free to tangle in the ends of her silky strands.
“Sure, if you wanted to be found sleeping naked on top of your commanding officer by the night patrol.”
“That would make us both bigger idiots than we already are.” She frowned and caught her hair up, the movement doing interesting things to her beautiful breasts. He had no idea when or if he’d ever get the chance to be with her like this again. That, of course, was the only reason he sat forward and kissed a line across the top of her chest, then spanned his hands between her shoulder blades and pressed her closer.
“Leigh.” She sighed, her fingers sliding into his hair, sending a shudder down his spine.
He caught a nipple between his lips, and knew he was lost. It didn’t seem to matter that he’d just been thinking how catastrophic it would be if they got caught, he wouldn’t be leaving the cozy confines of this jet until he’d stolen one last moment of pleasure with his Mia.
His Mia. No one else’s. Just mine. After the attack a few days ago and then finally giving in to his desires tonight, that one notion had become achingly clear. He had no clue how this would all end—actually he did: in disaster—but no matter what happened, he would protect her. And maybe, just maybe, he could find a way to keep seeing her.
Damage Control (Valiant Knox) Page 16