“Are you going to accept Cole?” I ask, mumbling because my face is still crushed against his chest.
“No. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”
I pull away and look into his eyes, “At least be nice to him. You’ve both been disgraced. You have a common bond.” I try to get him to sympathize.
He doesn’t answer me but leads me out the door back to our awaiting group.
When we leave his office I remember something else I had wanted to ask him. I follow Edmund into his kitchen where Cole and Patryck are sitting, looking anywhere but at each other. Patryck looks relaxed but Cole looks defeated. Did he hear the conversation between Edmund and I? I think with despair.
“Ollie told me something that is bothering me a little,” I admit to everyone in the room. Edmund is filling a couple of glasses with water. I notice him pause mid pour.
“I’m sure he would tell you anything to make you angry. He is a deceitful creature. What was it about?” Patryck and Cole are looking at me with interest, wanting to know any details of what happened.
“Well, he didn’t know what I was or who I was but he knew you had interest. He said he had been following you all around Virginia. That they finally settled in the area when you did. They knew you guys were up to something. They thought you were gathering an army or something. I think he might have thought that I knew what it was.”
“So, what bothered you about that?” Edmund looks at me with a confused expression, not understanding where I am going with this.
“I want to know how long you guys were in the area. What were you doing? Were you amassing an army? And… how long were you watching me and Alex?” My anger flares back up as I ask the last question. Hating the feeling of being watched when I was unaware.
Edmund takes a deep breath, probably preparing himself for my wrath when I hear his answers. “Take a seat, Alexis,” he commands me. I move to sit between Cole and Patryck at the little table in the kitchen. Edmund sits in the other empty chair and slide a glass of water towards me. “We are not amassing an army. It would be impossible. Most of the angels that side with us are afraid of the consequences that will happen if they get too close. Though many of them know the truth, they are not willing to risk their wings.” Edmund looks at Patryck. “Cole doesn’t have that to fear anymore. Patryck is determined to fight but I won’t let him risk that. We just can’t get enough on our side. It’s too great a risk. I don’t want any of them to risk the humiliation and loss.”
He takes a sip of his water and continues, “I had to hide you and Alex. I couldn’t keep you with me, so I left you in a hospital in northern Virginia. I thought I would be able to track where they took you but I couldn’t. So, I had Cole try to persuade people into giving us the information but it was a feeble attempt. There were a few twins in the system around the same age. We tracked them all down and watched them grow until we knew which ones were you two.” He looks over my shoulder and I turn around to see that Alex and Kaitlyn have come into the room.
Alex has his face masked in content but I can see the hurt deep in his eyes as he listens to Edmund. I wonder how well he really is dealing with all this. I’m a little worried about what will happen when we go home and he doesn’t need to mask his feeling around anyone. Will he blame me for everything? Is this going to tear him away from me or will we become even closer?
“How did you not know? Why did you have to wait and watch us grow?” Alex asks Edmund.
Edmund looks down in shame. His face becomes a little red. “I only had you for a day before I made the decision to hide you. I couldn’t keep you with me. I was afraid of the attachment. The longer I kept you, the harder it would have been to give you up. It was still harder than I imagined. I promised your mother to protect you and that was the best way I could. I don’t think she was thinking when she put you in my arms.” He rubs his eyes with his fist. “I couldn’t recognize my own children. I didn’t even know if you guys stayed in the same state. I wanted to stay and watch before I moved on somewhere else.”
“So, how long were you watching us?” I ask.
“We became certain of you when you were four,” Cole tells me.
I look at him when he speaks and he looks away from me quickly. I’m angry that he’s known me for so long, that he was always there but I didn’t know. He knew me when I was a baby. That’s disturbing.
Edmund’s face looks slightly amused by our encounter. Just like him to gloat about the fact I have found something about Cole that bothers me.
“Yes,” says Edmund. “But we had to keep moving so that the other side wouldn’t discover you. I knew we were always being tracked. Either Cole or I would come back to the area to check on you, waiting until you were old enough.” I grit my teeth at the mention of Cole checking up on us.
“Old enough to claim back!” I spit at Edmund. I jump up from my seat and storm out of the room. Too pissed off to be around anyone.
*
I’m frustrated. I can’t go outside. I can’t go home yet. I feel trapped. Surrounded by people I really don’t want to be around right now. I storm up the stairs of Edmund’s townhouse and open the first door I find to the right of the stairs. I storm into the room and flop myself on the bed.
The room is basically empty except for the bed and a dresser. There are no pictures on the walls, they are a plain white. The bed is dressed in white sheets and a blue comforter. It is definitely not Edmund’s room. Thank goodness for that. Edmund’s room would have more expensive furnishings, even if he just moved here. This must just be a guest room he put together.
I curl up on the bed and start to cry all my frustration out. I’m so mad that Cole didn’t tell me earlier that he had been watching me. I feel so humiliated. I’ve never been mad at Cole for anything he told me, or didn’t tell me, but this is pushing me over the edge.
I’m not even upset that Edmund gave us away. That has never really bothered me. I’m happy with the life I had with my parents. I often wonder what it would have been like to grow up with Edmund, but I can only picture us always on the run. Not a great life. No, I’m not mad at Edmund for that. And I understand why he would want to watch us from a distance. My frustration is all towards Cole.
After my tears dry, I stare at a space in the white walls for what feels like an eternity. My mind is numb. I don’t even know what I am thinking about when I hear a knock on the door and then hear the door open.
“Can I come in?” I don’t respond to Patryck’s question. I just continue to stare at the white abyss of the wall. Patryck sits down on the opposite side of the bed and keeps his face turned away when he tells me, “You can’t be upset at Edmund for what he has done. He did what he thought was best under the circumstances.”
My voice is husky from crying when I respond to him in a whisper, “I understand Edmund’s motive. I’m not upset at him.”
“Then, what is it?” I feel him shift on the bed and turn towards me.
“I feel betrayed by Cole. I thought that the first time we met was the first time we met. But now I know that he was always watching me. I thought it was just coincidence that he knew what my favorite flower was or my favorite food. I thought it meant something more, something special, a connection between us, but now I know it was because he knew from watching me. It just creeps me out.”
“Oh. That doesn’t mean there isn’t something there. You were still attracted to him from the beginning and he probably couldn’t help himself when he was finally able to see you face to face.”
“Maybe. It still feels disturbing to me.” I’m still talking to the wall, unable to move my body to face Patryck.
“I can see where you’re coming from. Do you want me to tell you a secret?” he whispers to me dramatically. I finally turn to him. Intrigued by the intensity in his voice. “You will get over it.” He smiles at me and I can’t help but return his infectious smile.
I crawl over to him and hug him around his waist, keeping my head in his lap. “
Thank you Patryck,” I mumble into his stomach. “For everything you did in New York to help us. For now.”
He smoothes my hair down. “You’re welcome, Lexi. I’ll always try to be there for you,” he says fervently.
I fall asleep with my head in his lap as he continues to absently brush my hair with his hand.
Chapter 23
“How was your trip?” My mother asks when we walk through the door later. Edmund lent Cole his car until Cole could go get his from New York. I guess Edmund can only teleport people. We dropped Kaitlyn off before we went back to our houses. Cole went straight home, knowing I did not want to be around him anymore today.
Even though the talk I had with Patryck made me feel better, I still wasn’t ready to face Cole. I had awoken in the spare bedroom and Patryck was gone. Alex had come up to tell me it was time to leave. The car ride back had been very silent. I let Alex sit up front with Cole while I sat in the back with Kaitlyn. No one spoke.
“It was exciting,” I tell her. I feel like it’s a lie but in all honesty it was full of excitement and fear. It definitely wasn’t boring. I’m disappointed the trip didn’t go anywhere near as planned. At least we got to spend a day in Central Park and the Met.
I start gushing to my mom and dad all about the museum. They won’t get suspicious if that’s all they hear from me. Alex, though, is going to blow the cover because he is staying too quiet.
“What’s wrong?” our dad asks Alex. Alex is still standing in the doorframe of the living room while the rest of us are sitting on the couch.
“Just tired, I guess. It was a long weekend and a long drive.” He picks up his bag that he had dropped onto the floor when we came in. “I’m going to go lie down.” He heads for the stairs.
My parents look at me with questions. My mom asks full of concern, “Is Alex okay? He and Kaitlyn didn’t get into a fight or anything did they?”
“No, they’re fine. He’s probably just tired. It was a long weekend,” I confirm. I yawn and get up from between my parents. “I think I’ll go upstairs and unpack then get ready for bed too.” I give them both a kiss and then lug my suitcase up to my room.
In my room, I hear the shower running in Alex and I’s adjoining bathroom. I start throwing all my clothes in the dirty laundry basket and then unpack my toiletries, putting everything in its place. By the time I’m done, Alex is out of the shower so I jump in.
Cole must have cleaned up all the blood off me but I still feel gross from the assault. I take a long shower scrubbing my body as hard as I can.
I examine my chest as closely as possible where the knife had pierced through me. There isn’t even a mark. My hand is scar free too. It makes me shake to think that the last thing I could have seen was Cerviel’s angry face. I realize I’m shaking so hard, I can’t even stand up. A choking sound comes out of my mouth and I start sobbing in the shower. I slide down into the tub and cry while the water pounds on my head and quickly rinses the tears away. I want to find a way to kill him. I want to torture him the way he tortured me. I want revenge!
There is a knock on the door on Alex’s side of the bathroom. I hear his muffled question, “Are you okay?”
I stand up and rub my eyes with my fists. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I turn the shower off and wrap myself in a towel and then wrap my hair up in another one. By the time I get back into my room, Alex is already sitting on my bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” If I talk about it then I’ll have to relive it and I don’t ever want to do that. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
“Why didn’t you tell me everything?” he asks me with betrayal in his voice.
I really don’t want to have this discussion with him right now but the sooner it’s done the better. I look up to ceiling and tell him, “Let me get dressed first before you assault me.” I grab some clothes out of my dresser and go into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. When I come back out I quickly get into bed and under the covers. Alex lies on the pillows on the other side of the bed and stares at the ceiling.
“So…,” he tries to get me started on the conversation.
I sigh before starting to tell him, “I knew if I told you that you would think I was crazy. That’s why I started with the whole ‘talent’ conversation first. Then, I was waiting for Edmund to finally admit everything and tell me who our mother was before I bombarded you with everything. I wanted to get all the facts first because I knew that was what you would do.”
“I still don’t know how to believe it all. It’s just so… so… unnatural.”
“Trust me, I know. That’s why I was waiting to tell you.” We don’t say anything else for awhile and my eyes slowly start to sink shut.
“She’s beautiful,” Alex says with admiration in his voice.
“Hmmm?”
“Our mother. If she’s as beautiful as she looks in Edmund’s paintings, I can’t imagine how much more beautiful she could be in person.” He’s quiet for a few more minutes then he admits, “I think I’ve dreamt about her before.”
“Really,” I mumble.
“She was holding me and looking down at me smiling. She called me Lucius. That’s all I remember but her face was so clear in the dream. She was beautiful,” he says with regret.
“That’s cool.” I yawn. “Lucius means…”
“Light, I know.”
“Maybe it was a memory,” I suggest. But as I say it, I think how impossible that would be because we were practically newborns when we were adopted.
“That would be cool.” I hear him yawn in response to my yawn before I fall asleep.
*
“Limina, Limina. Come find me.” A voice is taunting me from the darkness. It sounds like someone playing a game of hide-and-seek.
I’m back in the long dark tunnel.
“Limina, come find me,” the voice whispers to me from the light source.
I pause. I want to run back the way I came but something at the back of my mind tells me I have to move forward, I have to reach the source of the light.
I look behind me again but still don’t see anything. Fear picks up in me that I’m not going to have enough time to get to the source of light. I turn back around and pick up pace as I walk hurriedly but cautiously towards the light.
The light is still over a hundred yards away. I briskly walk towards it with a purpose and find that there is a bend in the cave. The light must be coming from the other side of the bend. I get closer to the turn and pause up against the corner of the wall. My heart is beating a million miles per hour and I have to inhale deep breathes before I go on.
I tell myself to calm down. “You’re almost there. You’re almost to her.” Her? What am I saying?
I look back at where I have just come from one more time. The feeling that I don’t have enough time, that I am going to be caught, overwhelms me. I close my eyes and count to three. Then I peak around the bend and what I see takes my breath away.
“Mea filia.”
Chapter 24
“Mother!” I shoot up in my bed. My heart is pounding like it was in the dream. I feel winded, like I just ran a marathon.
“Huh,” Alex says from next to me.
“Oh, my God. Alex,” I shake him so he will fully wake up. “Alex!”
He sits up, looking around him like there is a fire that needs to be put out. “Shit, Lexi.” He puts his hand up to his heart. “What the hell?” He flops back down into a pillow.
“Alex, I think I just saw our mother in a dream.”
“Huh?” He sounds more alert now.
“It wasn’t like a dream though. It was so real. I’ve had the dream before but this had more to it.” I describe the dream for him. “And when I looked around the corner there were people standing around. They appeared to be frozen. And an ethereal glow was coming off their skin. Their eyes were all closed but it wasn’t like they were really sleeping. You can see their eyes moving behind their lids, like
they were dreaming.” I wrap my arms around myself. “It was scary and sad.”
“It was just a dream, Lexi,” he tries to console me.
“I don’t think so. I think our mother was calling to me for help. She was so beautiful,” I whisper to myself. “Her hair was like the silvery light of the moon, so long and silky. Her face was mine, almost like looking into a mirror, but older. She was tall, taller than I, maybe like six feet. She wore a silver stola that shimmered like diamonds.” My voice is far away, trying to recall all the details.
I look over at Alex and see that he looks stunned. I give him a questioning look and he tells me, “That’s exactly how I saw her. Except I saw her eyes. They’re blue.”
I jump up out of bed and start grabbing some clothes to take into the bathroom to change.
“What are you doing?” Alex gets out of the bed, panicked like something is about to happen.
“I need to go see Cole. I want to tell him about it. We need to find her, Alex.” I go into the bathroom and shut the door to change quickly.
“Lexi, we can’t go now. What would mom and dad think?” He’s right.
I sigh as I put my sweater over my head and pull my jeans on. I open the bathroom door and face Alex. “You’re right but I still want to come up with a plan. There has to be a way to save her.” I want to say, “All of them,” but I don’t want to get into a conversation with Alex about all the details of what the rest of them looked like. Some of them were really scary. I hate the idea that it is only right to save them all.
I shake the thoughts and visuals out of my head. “I’ll be back later,” I tell Alex as I leave my bedroom.
I head over to Cole’s house and realize half way across the street that I didn’t look to see what time it is. It still looks really early; the sun is barely poking above the tree line. He’s probably still asleep.
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