She looked up at me in confusion and suspicion, her teal eyes still full of tears, and it nearly broke even my fucking cold heart.
“They’re coming for us, and soon. I don’t have two million dollars. I never did. That was a bluff, and Emilio almost called it. That’s why I was so tense last night. I kept thinking he was going to follow us, demand the money, shoot out the SUV. Then you try to fucking kill yourself again, and I’m like holy shit, maybe he doesn’t even have to come for you. You’ll do the job for him all on your own.”
I realized I was rambling and pulled in a deep breath.
“Point is – I wasn’t supposed to bid, I wasn’t supposed to be there. But then Dante, that moron, and my brother… Anyways, they were busy, so I ended up there. I was just supposed to check out this ‘event’ or whatever.
“I know you don’t know the Capestranas, but we’ve got honor. We have to. It’s just the way we do business. Especially since Mama Angelina… Well, we abide by it. Honor, I mean. I’m going to take those bastards down, make sure girls like you never have shit like that happen to them again.”
I couldn’t believe I was making a speech with Mary squashed between my giant body and the counter, but this was happening.
She was hanging on every word, too.
I lost the thread of where I was going with all of this, because of the way she was looking at me, so I ended on a snarl, “Listen. I swear, I’m going to figure out a way to save you – even if it kills me.”
Mary’s tears stopped falling, but the streaks of them were still on her face. She stared up at me, her lips slightly parted, and asked one question.
“Why?”
Ah, that question again. Damn it all, didn’t everyone want to know – myself included. I clenched my jaw, telling myself to tell her it was for Mama Ange, for my sisters, or my girl cousins, my aunts, or even for my dear, dead mother.
But I didn’t. Because deep down, I knew, while female relatives might have been part of it – it was all her.
It was always about her.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “I just couldn’t leave you there.”
Her eyes went wide, like a frightened deer, but at the same time, she didn’t look scared, more confused and thoughtful and…
For a long, tense moment, we stared at each other. Something heavy seemed to pull back and forth between us, and I could feel my heart pounding. Then I realized I was crushing her and I quickly stepped away.
“I’m sorry.” I hated apologizing, but I managed to get it out. “I know you hate me and this situation, but for now, you have to stay by my side. If you leave, if you escape and run, they will hunt you down and either take you back and try again or kill you to keep you quiet and make an example for any other girls who think they can walk away. You need protection. The Ruffinos aren’t exactly known for their gardening tips.”
Her full lips twitched, just like they did on stage, and for a second I thought she was going to laugh, but instead, she asked, “So, what’s the plan?”
“We run. Figure out a way to bust the Ruffinos so it’s safe for you. And me.”
Mary shook her head, suddenly looking like she was pitying me. “It can’t be done, Axe.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked, honestly curious. This was the first time she’d talked to me like I was a human, and it was kind of nice, I had to admit.
“The whole reason I was still there, why we’re standing in this kitchen right now, trying to figure out how to both avoid being murdered by the Ruffinos – is because they run Ehlrich. One time I got free for ten minutes outside of a gas station and I found a pair of cops sitting in their car. You know what they did?”
Involuntarily, I stepped closer. “No, what?”
“They laughed.” Her pretty mouth twisted into a scowl. “I told them I had been kidnapped from a night club downtown, held against my will, to be auctioned off, and they said, ‘we don’t get involved’.” Mary looked down at her hands. “I was eighteen years old, told them everything they needed to know and they called Emilio and sent me back there.”
Her voice was a savage whisper and I realized I was probably the first person outside of the Ruffinos who knew her story.
“And they’re all, ‘sorry, kid, we don’t get involved.’ And I was like who are these monsters?” She looked up at me, her teal eyes full of fear. “Who has the power above the law, to bend and mold it like that?”
It took all of my willpower not to crush her to my chest, hold her in the circle of my arms to keep away the evil in the world. Now, I suddenly could see my younger sisters in her place. Nausea hit me hard.
The twins would be celebrating their sixteenth birthday in a few months.
What if they just vanished in the dark one night and if they tried to get help, that person just laughed?
I balled my hands into fists and willed myself not to punch anything and scare her further.
Sick bastards.
Mary was clearly struggling for control, but she went on. “It’s like the wild west, or something. The law seems to change depending on whose pockets are deeper. That’s what I sort of figured out, I guess.”
“You’ve been there for a whole year?” I asked, my voice raspy.
“What?” She gave me that wide-eyed look again. Then her shoulders slumped. “Oh. Yeah. Good math skills. You’re smarter than you look, Catholic boy.” Mary’s edge came back in that instant and I watched as her face closed down.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. The words seemed as weightless and as useless as dust.
Mary flipped her hair back and tugged on Trina’s old sweatshirt. “Don’t worry about it.” She shot me a brittle smile. “So, if what you’re saying is true, then I’m on board. If there is a way for us to get out of this alive and free, I’m in.”
She stuck out a hand.
“A truce, then, Capestrana? I promise not to try to kill you, or myself, for that matter, if you promise not to touch me.”
“Deal,” I said, pausing for a long moment before taking her hand. “Unless you ask me to, of course.”
She looked so surprised at my words her eyes went wide, but there was no fear there. Just a blatant curiosity that sent a hot rush of blood south.
God, she was beautiful. On autopilot, lured by the pull of tension between us, I leaned in close. “You’d be surprised, Mary, but some women actually like me.”
Her smile faded and her lean throat worked as she swallowed audibly but she didn’t pull away.
“Brenna.”
“What?” I asked, brain buzzing with sudden, muscle-quaking lust.
“My name is Brenna.”
Brenna.
It never occurred to me that her name wasn’t Mary. A new blast of anger at Ruffino shot through me and I clenched my fists.
Now wasn’t the time to focus on that. It was time to focus on the girl I’d taken responsibility for who needed my reassurance.
Brenna.
I liked it.
At that moment, I realized I could see a pulse pounding in her neck at our closeness and I cursed my stupidity. I stepped back again, shoving my hands in my pockets.
I had to learn how to keep my distance. Otherwise, these next few days alone with her as I tried to figure out how to save both our necks – and left ring fingers – were going to be hard as hell.
In more ways than one.
Chapter Five
Brenna
Sipping from a hot mug of coffee, I sat by the window, and watched the lake ripple and the trees toss in the wind. It was gorgeous – the sparkling water surrounded on all sides by the bright orange, red and gold banners of fall. And I just sat there, idle, watching as the sun rose higher in the sky. It was heaven, heaven at 9:34 a.m.
Why heaven? Because I had chosen to do this.
Me, Brenna.
No one else.
Some part of me wasn’t quite sure why I was still sitting there. I could bolt – Axe was upstairs. But instead, I staye
d and waited on a man. A man named Axe Capestrana, who was currently packing a bag upstairs, so we could leave and go on the run together.
A man who actually let me come down here alone.
A man who seemed surprised I asked permission to go have coffee.
A man who told me he trusted me – to my face, not even twenty minutes ago.
The Ruffinos always went out of their way to tell me I couldn’t be trusted, that I didn’t know how the world really worked, and that I was young and stupid…
But thankfully – I had a pretty face. My only value. Every word the Ruffinos had spat at me came rushing back at once, but it was Axe’s voice that broke through now.
“You’re smart, Brenna. I can tell. Even if you don’t trust me yet, I trust you. So, yeah, do whatever you want. You don’t gotta ask. Just be safe and keep an eye out.”
Some part of me had gone all glowy inside when he’d said that. Another part wanted to head-butt the wall.
But I’d even chuckled when he joked as I left the room, “Just no knives or car doors, please. Those I’m still iffy on, sorry kid.”
I was laughing at his jokes. It was incredible.
It felt familiar and new at the same time – this freedom and laughter.
Even more surprising, he’d apparently left me alone earlier this morning for a short time as well – running an errand around dawn. Getting food and taking care of some things, he said.
Part of me wondered what I would have done if I had woken up and realized he was gone. Would I have taken off out the open window and run?
Probably.
But now, as I sat here waiting, some other part of me was glad I hadn’t. I wasn’t sure why, but the thought of the Ruffinos coming after me had never crossed my mind. I’d always imagined once I got away, I’d never look back.
Grimly, I shook my head. Emilio had done his work well.
It was like, within the last year, I’d forgotten there was a world outside of the one he controlled. I hadn’t even considered going to the Feds if I got free. I had planned on running – getting as far away from Ehlrich as I could.
Hell, I’d have gone to the moon, if they were taking volunteers.
I had just assumed the Ruffinos were all-powerful. Unstoppable. Emilio was a monster and there was no agency or silver bullet that could take him down.
Yet after the showdown in the kitchen with Axe, it was like I’d been slapped awake.
Because for some reason, a 6’2, muscle-bound, strong-jawed mobster – nicknamed Axe – had opened my eyes, helped me remember some things I’d forgotten about myself, and the world.
I’d stopped trusting myself and my instincts about people. And I’d forgotten I was worth a hell of a lot more than my pretty face.
I wasn’t like that a year ago. Despite my tough childhood, I’d been a fighter and had managed to find happiness where I could get it. I used to smile and talk to strangers, give homeless guys my extra change – to the point where they knew my name. I sang into a brush in front of the mirror sometimes, burst out laughing at a good joke, even at my own expense… It was like, because things had been so hard growing up, I tried to suck in all the joy I could from life.
But that was before.
What had Emilio done to me? Now, I was like this other Brenna. Cynical, and even kind of mean. I hated it.
The question was, could I ever go back? Or was that girl dead and gone?
There was no doubt I still had my suspicions about Axe. It wasn’t like I could just turn off a year of hell, hate, and distrust completely, but at least the terror of being raped or hurt by him was dwindling. Whatever the end game was, if there was one at all, it wasn’t to hurt me.
My heart skipped a beat even now when I thought about his words…
I’m going to figure out a way to save you – even if it kills me.
I hadn’t even thought my own life was worth saving. As of last night, I’d tried to kill myself… Twice. Both times Axe was the one who had saved me from myself.
And the intensity of his gaze when he’d said it, the slight increase of pressure in his hands, and the tremor that ran through his voice. It sent a deep, searing fire ablaze in my belly.
It had utterly overwhelmed me.
“Brenna. You sure you don’t need anything else from up here?” Axe’s voice rolled over me as he came rushing down the stairs, interrupting my thoughts.
My face went hot as I hastily put down the mug. I had a sudden, strange little wish that I had better clothes on.
Why? He’s already seen you naked, hissed a cruel voice in my mind.
Humiliation threatened to choke me. I had completely forgotten about that. Had it only been yesterday? So many things had happened since then.
“Hey, are you okay?” Axe was striding across the room, a black duffel thrown over his shoulder, and he shot me a concerned look. “You look flushed.”
“Probably just from the cold air,” I assured him. “And yeah, I got my pants, and put the sweater in the bag, made the bed. Tried to make it seem untouched like you wanted.”
“Thanks. Hey, will you shut that window and lock it? And then, there’s a bag in the kitchen, would you grab it? Please.”
I did as he asked, thankful he hadn’t pressed me on what I’d been thinking about that had left me red in the face.
Hurrying outside with the bag, I waited on the porch as Axe locked up the house. Then we made our way down the steps and over to an unremarkable tan SUV. I blinked and looked around for the black one.
It was gone.
It looked like the vehicle for a soccer mom, not a car for going on the run. But Axe unlocked it, we tossed the bags in the back, and then climbed in.
“What happened to the other one?” I asked as we both buckled ourselves. Once inside, I noticed the windows had a subtle tint to them – just enough to obscure us. There were newspapers and old coffee cups on the floor, a giant red pepper toy hanging from the mirror, and bumper stickers covering the glove compartment.
“This is my Uncle Joe’s car.” Axe whipped out of the driveway and flew down the dirt path. “I swapped it with him early this morning. This car is special. Joe is a magician mechanic and he…” He grimaced and glanced over at me.
“I’m guessing he does something with cars that’s not exactly legal? You think after what I’ve seen – tampering with cars to get them off police radar or something is going to bother me?”
“How did you know?” Axe looked over at me, impressed.
“Road!” I squealed, gripping the dashboard as he took a corner fast.
“Worry-wart,” he retorted, but he swiveled his head back.
I let out a small breath I’d been holding. I couldn’t think straight when Axe looked at me like that. Keep my distance, keep my distance, keep my distance, chanted my mind.
“So, where are we going now?” I asked.
“Walmart.”
“Not exactly under the radar, is it?”
“It’s busy, we’ll be able to get everything we need, so we can get in and out in no time. No one would expect us to go there.”
Forty-five minutes later, after a fairly quiet ride, we were pulling into a shady spot at Walmart. Before we got out, Axe handed me a pair of sunglasses and a beat up Red Sox hat.
He told me to stick close by him, and we headed into the store.
In a way, it was kind of exhilarating. We grabbed a carriage, and first rushed through the food section. Axe told me to grab anything I wanted. We stocked up on food and hygiene items. Then he led me to the clothes section and told me to get a few outfits. I stared around at all the tops, pants, and dresses, almost moved to tears. I hadn’t been able to choose my own clothes in such a long time…
“I’d suggest loose and movable, Brenna,” he said, looking around at the surge of people moving past us. No one spared me a glance. “If you need pajamas, underwear, shoes, now’s the time grab it.”
I browsed, stacking items on my arm, while Axe stood at the
edge of the clothing area, keeping an eye on me and the store, pretending to be just another bored boyfriend, waiting around on his girlfriend.
In fact, one redhead and her friend asked me as much. They sidled up to me as I was holding up a white tank top.
“No, you ask her,” a giggling voice interrupted my thoughts. Whirling nervously, I stared them down, heart hammering.
“Oh, sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.” A curvy redhead wearing a tight pink tee smiled at me and took her lollipop out of her mouth. “We just hadda ask – is that your boyfriend? Muscles McGee over there? Because honey, dayum! Can you say MCM?”
I stared at them, nonplussed, then followed the lollipop she jerked over her shoulder and saw Axe, arms folded, staring around the store. Every so often he scowled. Even though he was wearing a jacket over his tank top, the width of his shoulders was undeniable. Glancing back at the girls, I saw that they were pink-cheeked, and I nodded.
“Yeah. We’ve been together for a long time. He used to be wicked fat, though, so he’s not a meathead jerk or anything. Y’know, it’s not all about looks and muscles, girls.”
Where had that come from?
“Damn, really?” Both of them glanced back at Axe and shook their heads. “Well he’s really yummy, now! Good for you, girl.” They held up their hands and I realized they wanted high-fives. Awkwardly I slapped their palms and they bustled away, still laughing and chatting. I smiled to myself as I watched them go.
“Why are you high-fiving strangers? What did they want?” Axe was suddenly next to me, glaring at me, then at the girls, and back to me. His big shoulders were tense.
I tried to get the smile off my face, but just ended up making it worse. “Nothing.”
“Brenna, come on. What did they say?”
“They wanted to know where the shoes were,” I responded, picking up a soft navy blue tank. DIVA was written in rhinestones along the front. Oh, whatever. I tossed it into the carriage and smiled up at Axe. “I don’t think they’re mobsters in disguise.”
Axe to Grind Page 5