by Joanne Fluke
There was an expression in Johnny’s eyes she couldn’t quite read as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. The kissing was wonderful, but she hoped he wouldn’t wrinkle her new dress. Of course, that was the reason she’d bought it, wasn’t it?
Johnny was breathing heavier now and his body pressed against hers. Ellen didn’t pull away. At last he was treating her like a woman. “So what do you think, Babe? Want to cement our permanent partnership in bed?”
Ellen took a deep breath, then met his eyes boldly. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Johnny threw back his head and laughed. Then he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
Her clothes didn’t fall to the floor like rain. They had to be awkwardly unbuttoned and unclasped. And while the sight of his naked body thrilled her, she couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t fully aroused. She told herself that this must be normal, that after all, he was over forty and he worked long hours. Only teenagers were in a state of perpetual readiness and she really ought to do something to help him, but she wasn’t sure exactly what it should be.
“Hold on a sec, Babe. And keep it nice and hot for me.”
They weren’t the romantic words she’d longed to hear, but Ellen smiled up at him anyway as he picked up his pants and carried them into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
It seemed to take a very long time to do whatever he was doing in there. Ellen shut her eyes and prayed that everything would be all right. What if he’d guessed that she was a virgin and decided it wasn’t worth it? Or what if he was sitting in there, trying to think of a nice way to tell her that she didn’t turn him on?
By the time he came out, at least five minutes later, Ellen was a bundle of nerves. And then, without a single word or even a kiss, he was probing between her legs and pushing himself inside of her.
She must have fallen asleep, after, because when she woke up, Johnny was gone. She switched on the light and found the note.
You’re terrific, Babe. Wish we could do it again, but I’ll be a nice guy and let you sleep. J.
Ellen slipped the note into a drawer and sighed deeply. It hadn’t been at all what she’d expected, but she remembered her college roommate telling her the first time was a disappointment and after that, it was heavenly. She must have done something right because Johnny had written that she was terrific. She could kick herself for falling asleep, but there would be plenty of other opportunities now that they were lovers at last.
Her new dress was in a crumpled heap by the side of the bed and she hung it carefully in her closet. She’d go right out tomorrow and order another, maybe two, in different colors.
The nap she’d taken had refreshed her and she felt sexy and elegant as she ran a hot bubble bath and relaxed in the steaming water. When she climbed out of the tub, she put on the lovely silk robe Johnny had given her for Christmas and glanced in the mirror. Her hair was perfect, it hadn’t lost its body at all, and she knew she’d never looked better. She wandered into the living room and poured herself a glass of champagne, feeling like a woman of the world as she sipped it. Even though it was almost midnight, she was wide-awake. There was work to do on her new mannequin design, but what she really wanted to do was make love with Johnny again.
Ellen began to smile as a wonderfully bold idea occurred to her. Johnny’s note had said he wanted to make love again. Why should she make him wait? He’d given her a key to his apartment just last week in case she needed to get something from the files. A second glass of champagne helped Ellen make up her mind. She needed to feel Johnny’s arms around her again, his body pressing against hers.
Ellen shivered slightly. The tile floor in the elevator was cold beneath her bare feet, but she didn’t bother to go back after her slippers. She was sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet her lover. It reminded her of countless romance novels.
The ride seemed to take forever, but at last the elevator came to a stop on the fourth floor. Ellen fairly ran down the hallway and opened Johnny’s door. There was a light in the living room, but he wasn’t there. Then she heard water running in the shower. She’d climb into his bed and be waiting when he came out.
Johnny had a heated water bed and Ellen giggled as she got under the covers. This was definitely a night for firsts and she could hardly wait to make love on a water bed. She had just settled down when she heard Johnny laughing over the sound of the shower. That was odd. Lots of people sang in the shower, but she’d never heard of anyone who laughed.
Ellen got out of bed and padded over to listen at the bathroom door. She had almost decided to open the door and ask him what was so funny, when she heard another voice. A woman’s voice.
“I missed you, Johnny. What took you so long?”
Ellen gripped the edge of the door so hard, her knuckles turned white. It was Vanessa! She’d taught Ellen how to dress, given her advice on how to attract a man, and even helped her with her makeup. Ellen had poured her heart out to Vanessa, thinking she’d found a friend, and here she was in the shower with Johnny!
“Couldn’t be helped, Babe. I told you I had to go up to Ellen’s place.”
“You spend more time with her than you do with me.” Vanessa sounded slightly miffed. “And you know my time is limited. Hal keeps me under lock and chain whenever he’s home.”
“But you still manage to slip away, don’t you?” Johnny chuckled. “And if I’m not home, you knock on Marc’s door. He told me you were up there twice last week.”
“What else can I do? You know I’m not getting any at home, and a girl like me gets lonely. But you made me wait for over two hours and I was bored out of my skin.”
“I told you I’d be gone for a while. And I made up for it when I got back, didn’t I?”
“You sure did.” Vanessa gave a contented sigh. “So what’s going on, Johnny? I know Ellen’s crazy about you because she told me. What are you going to do when she gets romantic?”
Johnny groaned. “That’s what happened tonight. You should have seen her, all dressed up and acting sexy, trying to drag me to bed.”
“So what did you do?”
“I put her off. We spent some time talking about the business and then I hightailed it back down here to you.”
“And that’s all you did with Ellen? Just talk?”
“I sure didn’t jump in the sack with her if that’s what you mean! Relax, Babe. No reason to be jealous. There’s no way in hell I could get it up for Ellen.”
“Really?”
“Well, maybe one way,” Johnny answered. “It might work if I put a bag over her head and pretended she was you.”
Ellen stifled a gasp. Not only was Johnny lying, now she knew why he’d turned off the lights on his way back to bed. That two-timing bastard hadn’t made love to her at all. He’d pretended she was Vanessa!
“You should be ashamed of yourself, Johnny Day!” Vanessa sounded angry. “Ellen’s a nice person and she can’t help the way she looks. I think it’s time for you to be honest with her.”
“I should tell her she doesn’t turn me on?”
“No, that’d only hurt her feelings. You should say something like . . . uh . . .” Vanessa began to giggle. “That you really want to, but you’ve got a terrible disease and you don’t want her to get it.”
“Oh, sure. Or maybe I could tell her I got it shot off in the war.”
“Don’t be silly. Anyone who looks at you can tell that. . . never mind. Just think of a real good excuse that won’t hurt poor Ellen’s feelings.”
“Like what?”
“You could say that you respect her too much to treat her like a casual romp in the hay. Ellen’s innocent enough to go for that, and it’ll make her feel good besides.”
“You’re really a good friend to her, aren’t you?” Johnny sounded surprised.
“Of course I am and I’ll scratch your eyes out if you ever touch her. There’s no way I want you to get all hot and bothered thinking about me and the
n waste it all on Ellen!”
Ellen came back to the present with a sigh, brushed away a tear that was rolling down her cheek, and straightened a little in her chair. When Johnny had come to see her the next morning, she’d gone into her speech before he could open his mouth. She’d told him that she knew he respected her too much to treat her like a casual romp in the hay. And wouldn’t it be wiser to keep their relationship on a platonic level? Johnny had blinked twice and exclaimed that she’d taken the words right out of his mouth. Vanessa’s words, but he didn’t know that she knew. She wasn’t about to admit that she’d hidden in his bedroom like an eager, blushing bride only to overhear his conversation in the shower with Vanessa. Then, after he’d left, she’d thrown every one of his CDs down the incinerator chute. It was a childish gesture and it hadn’t made her feel any better, but at least it was appropriately symbolic.
During the next few months, she’d been friendly and businesslike despite her breaking heart, and when she couldn’t stand the strain for one moment longer, she’d consulted Rachael and dissolved their partnership.
Even though she was no longer involved with Johnny in any way, his betrayal still hurt. Ellen knew it was partially her fault. She’d tried to be something she wasn’t. An expensive hairdo, makeup applied by an expert, and a designer gown could camouflage the package, but nothing could change the contents. And as she became accustomed to being alone, she admitted that it was a considerable relief not to have to worry about how she looked and what she said. Now she was just plain Ellen, and if people didn’t like her, that was too bad.
Of course she’d missed the hours she’d spent with Johnny, so to compensate, she had poured all her energy into running her mannequin business. Ellen knew her products were good, but orders were slow and her expenses were much higher than she’d figured on. She knew it took time for a small business to show a profit, but she was barely at the break-even point and she was running herself ragged, trying to handle everything on her own.
One morning she’d run into Jack St. James and when he’d casually asked how her business was doing, she’d burst into tears. It was just too much for one person to handle alone, she was losing money every time she turned around, and she wished she’d stayed in Minnesota and never tried to go into business for herself. After a couple of astute questions, Jack had told her she needed a business manager and recommended his friend, Walker Browning. Walker had spent the first two weeks examining the books and he’d discovered that Johnny had contracted with several firms who were bleeding off Ellen’s profits. Their shipping charges were ridiculously high and the company they used was only minimally responsible for damages. Walker had found another carrier who guaranteed all losses at a much lower tariff, and Ellen had agreed to switch the moment their contract ran out. They were also changing warehouses as soon as their lease was up. Vegas Dolls had been paying through the nose for a prime location they didn’t need.
When Walker had handed her his set of recommendations, Ellen had been astounded. She knew nothing about business, and obviously, Johnny hadn’t either. If she followed Walker’s plan, her running expenses would be cut by more than a third!
Next, Walker had concentrated on generating new business. He’d persuaded Ellen to ship out a free sample mannequin to several chains of clothing stores and every one of them had placed an order for more.
There was the sound of a key in the lock. Walker looked startled to see her sitting there.
“Ellen! I never expected you to wake up. You all right?”
Ellen nodded. “I’m fine. I just couldn’t sleep, that’s all. Where were you?”
“Up in the spa, enjoying the view.”
Walker smiled his contagious smile. He seemed honestly glad to see her awake and Ellen couldn’t help but smile back. She couldn’t thank Jack enough for sending her Walker. He didn’t mind working long hours and seemed just as excited as she was when they came up with a good model, even suggesting some new features of his own. He never pried into her personal life and he’d caught on to her moods so quickly it amazed her. If she didn’t want to talk, he did his share of the work in silence. If she was in the mood for conversation, he treated her to stories of growing up in Chicago that had her in stitches. She knew he liked her and she didn’t have to be on her guard.
“Tell me about it, Walker.” Ellen tucked her knees up and the blanket slipped down a little. She saw her image in the mirror over the fireplace and smiled again. Here she was in her blue flannel granny gown, the bunny slippers on her feet, alone in her living room with a man and not even the slightest bit embarrassed. Perhaps if Johnny had truly been her friend, things might have worked out better between them.
Walker sat down on the couch. “It was spectacular, Ellen. You know those little crystal balls you find in the stores at Christmas, the ones with the winter scenes and the snowflakes?”
Ellen nodded.
“Up at the spa with the dome overhead and the snow falling outside, I felt like I was trapped inside one of those crystal balls. It was a strange feeling. I was all alone, but I wasn’t alone because some big hand up there was shaking the ball to make the snow swirl. That sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it?”
“Nope.” Ellen shook her head. “I wish I’d been there.”
“It’s not too late. Why don’t you go put on your suit and we’ll sit in the Jacuzzi with the lights out. Then I can show you what I mean.”
Ellen began to smile. Her former coworkers at Garfield Elementary would have had a collective fit if they thought she was even considering such a thing. She was glad she didn’t have to worry about proper behavior for a teacher anymore.
“Come on, Ellen. I really want you to see it. It’s the chance of a lifetime.”
Ellen smiled and got up. She turned at the doorway with a smile. “It’s really strange, Walker. Somehow, you’ve plugged into my fantasy. When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of hiding inside the little crystal ball my mother had on the mantel. Now here I am, over thirty years old, and I’m finally going to do it.”
TWELVE
Jayne woke up to feel her husband’s arms around her. God, how she’d missed him! She burrowed a little deeper under the covers and thought about how good it was to have him home again. Last night had been like a second honeymoon. If only they could stay like this and ignore their problems. Perhaps they needed blackout drapes like Marc, so they could sleep and make love all night and all day.
The sun streaming in through the shuttered window cast a bright pattern of gold stripes against the knotty pine-paneled walls. Moira had burned cattle brands into the wood at strategic intervals and the bedroom had the look of an elegant bunkhouse. Jayne squinted and tried to read the time on the Lone Ranger alarm clock Paul had found for her in an antique shop. Seven-fifteen. At seven-twenty, the clock would whinny like Silver and play the first eight bars of the 1812 Overture. She reached out and pulled the plug so it wouldn’t go off. The button had broken off while Paul was gone and she hadn’t gotten around to fixing it.
The bedroom was filled with promotional objects that had been sold in the forties by the enterprising cowboys and cowgals of the silver screen. It had all started when Jayne had casually mentioned that she’d always wanted the Tonto Trick Lasso she’d seen as a child, advertised in the back of a Lone Ranger comic book, and Paul had turned it into a holy quest. Now she had the lasso, along with a Gene Autry hat rack, a Roy Rogers Happy Trails phonograph that played only seventy-eight RPM records, a Gabby Hays Sidekick trunk that sat in the corner next to her dressing table, and a Dale Evans Little Cowgirl mirror framed with rope. Paul had even managed to find a Cisco Kid poncho, obviously a product of some tongue-in-cheek promoter. He’d spent hours searching for cowboy movie memorabilia until she’d begged him to stop. That was another of their basic differences. She’d always enjoyed trying new activities, but Paul threw himself into them with such zeal that they ended up as work instead of fun.
Jayne grimaced as she remembered suggesti
ng they camp out at the Grand Tetons for a week last summer. She’d always wanted to see Jackson Hole. Paul had agreed that it might be fun and the next thing she knew, their living room had been loaded with camping equipment. She could see the need for backpacks and sleeping bags and she hadn’t objected to the three tents: One for sleeping, one for cooking, and one for storing their supplies. Paul said he wanted to be prepared for any contingency and he’d pored over countless volumes on life in the wild, taking notes on the proper procedures for setting up their base camp and making detailed lists of the supplies they’d need. Jayne had thought all this preparation was silly. They were just going for a week and if they ran out of something, they could get in the car and drive to the store. And if the tent blew down, or the air mattresses went flat, or it was too cold at night, they could always dash up to the lodge to get a nice comfy room there. Absolutely not, Paul had been firm. Jayne had wanted to camp out and that was exactly what they were going to do.
Paul had been so thoroughly prepared that absolutely nothing had gone wrong. But what Jayne had thought would be a carefree week of romping through the park and sleeping out under the stars had turned into a test of their survival skills.
The same thing had happened when they’d taken up tennis. She’d watched Laureen and Alan play and it looked like fun, so she’d asked Paul if he’d pick up a couple of racquets and a can of balls while she took care of the rest of the things she had to do in town. She should have known better. Paul had purchased every conceivable item of tennis equipment, all the proper clothing the salesman insisted they’d need, and a stack of instructional videos. He’d even arranged for them to take lessons from a pro three times a week. Naturally, the fun had gone out of it.