“I . . . need a hot . . . shower,” I manage between my numb lips.
Genevieve nods. I wonder if my lips are as blue as hers. She looks almost scary with her whiter-than-white skin and dripping red fringe pasted to her forehead.
“Warm in the sun for a minute first,” Amias chuckles, but it rattles with his trembling.
“What time is it?” Genevieve points at Drew’s watch.
He checks it, “About six.”
“Are y’all insane?” Maya’s shout carries over to us.
We look up as Maya and Abi walk down the pathway.
“Pretty much!” Drew hops to his feet with a grin.
We all stand. The wanderers-returned join us. Abi’s dark face glows, and I’m pretty sure it’s not from her makeup. She holds a small paper bag against her chest.
“How was Athens?” Genevieve moves forward.
“Don’t you dare hug me!” Maya ducks away. “You are too wet.”
Abi lifts her bag, “Athens was wonderful. We went everywhere. And I brought Greek donuts! I saved some for you, but you’ll get them soggy if you try to eat them now.”
“You could feed them to us,” Genevieve reaches for the bag.
“Stop acting like a ten-year-old,” Abi pulls it back. “Honestly. Go shower and change. Dinner is soon, and you both need the shower.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice!” I start skipping down the path.
“Wear something casual! The campfire is tonight!” Abi calls after Genevieve and me.
“Laundry machines exist, Abi,” Genevieve laughs.
“Sure, sure. When you get s’more stains on your favorite jeans, don’t expect my sympathy.”
We chuckle again, walking back to our bungalow. We shower pseudo-quickly and get dressed. Despite Genevieve’s teasing, she and I both put on some of our older things. I pull on my socks and trainers, and Genevieve and I walk to the dining hall. I fuss with my headband, getting into the queue.
I get my food and walk over to our table. I chuckle when I spot Amias and Drew in hoodies. I sit beside Abi.
“Cold, boys?”
They ignore me, of course. Abi winks and hands me one of her treats. It looks like a donut hole covered in honey.
“You can get more,” Abi points at the dessert counter. “I didn’t know the resort was making them, or I would have kept all of mine.”
“Your generosity is astounding,” Drew steals one of her fries.
She glowers at him, but he grins and snitches another.
“Oh, I see how it is,” she crosses her arms. “You sit next to me for extra food.”
“You know it.”
Abi’s fake scowl fades away in record time. I ignore their flirtatious fighting, looking down the table.
“Where are Lena and Rachelle?” I glance around the dining hall.
“Rachelle and her boyfriend went into Marathon for dinner,” Maya takes the seat beside me. “They toured Athens with her family, and then extended their time out for a date. And Lena is calling her boyfriend.”
“Ah,” I restrain the urge to look at Abi and Drew to see what they think of the news, “Where did you visit in Athens?”
Maya beams as if she has been waiting all day for someone to ask her that. She opens her camera and holds it up for me.
“All over! It was amazing. We started at the Acropolis, then went to Mars Hill. Then . . . ,” she flips through pictures, displaying the sites of Athens.
I eat and watch for several minutes as she gives me her mini-tour of the ancient city. She finishes, putting her camera back down.
“Wow!” I nod. “That looks awesome!”
“It really was,” Abi fusses with her braids.
I look across the table at Amias, “Isn’t your family in Greece with you? Why didn’t you go?”
“My parents are vacationing at a retreat center in Crete,” Amias tugs on his hoodie strings. “And my siblings are staying with some family friends in Corinth. Once my parents’ retreat and camp are over, we’ll spend a week in Athens touring.”
“Ah, yeah,” I swallow my bite of fish. “My brother is staying with my grandparents on the coast. The other side of the Grecian coast. So I don’t think we’ll get to see any of Athens.”
“Well, you’ll just have to come back to camp next year!” Maya pats my shoulder.
“I’m planning on it,” I give her a thumbs-up.
I still for a moment. Whoa. In just ten days, my perspective has entirely changed. Before coming here, I didn’t want to. Now, I already look forward to coming back.
Strange what time does to you. No, not time. I look around at my friends. This.
I finish my dinner and walk out into the sunset. I sit on a bench, staring at the colorful sky’s reflection in the pool beside the dining hall. I pull out my phone. Almost by instinct, I send a message to Adam and one to Everly.
They haven’t responded to my others.
But you must keep pursuing their friendship. They’re too busy to pursue yours. I shut off my phone and look at the lock-screen, my heart tugging. Why did five months change so much? Why are they so distant?
“Hey, Tarni!” Brynn steps out of the dining hall. “Wanna play football—real football—with us?”
She lifts the ball over her head. Drew, Amias, Abi, Maya, and several others flood through the doors behind her.
“Sure!” I grin, sliding my phone back into my satchel. “But, I’ll warn you, I’m not much good.”
“Oh, you’ll do great,” Maya bats my concerns away. “We need one more player to be even.”
“Genevieve isn’t coming?” I look around for my third roommate.
Maya’s smile turns a little sly, “An interested someone wanted to take a walk with her.”
“Aha,” I stand and join the group. “Then I suppose I must do my part to match her skills.”
“Don’t worry, I’m bad too,” Abi makes a face.
I turn away, so she and Drew don’t see my smirk, “At least we’ll be even. Shall we?”
The resort doesn’t have a football pitch, but they do have a multi-use sports court with two goals. So, it works. We walk through the resort, past bungalows and a pool, and step into the court.
“I wanna be a team captain!” Brynn clutches the ball close.
Drew looks at her for a moment, “Yeah, me too.”
“You want to rival your triplet?” One of his friends guesses.
“Pretty much.”
We laugh, and Brynn scoffs.
“Whatever. I want Tarni on my team!” She raises her hand.
I shuffle over and give her a high-five, “I’m not good, remember?”
“Oh, nonsense,” Brynn smirks as Drew names his first teammate. “I need some girl power over here. And Abi won’t be supplying it if I know my brother.”
“You won’t undermine his plan?” I quirk an eyebrow.
“Nah, it’s better watching him squirm. Emmett! Over here.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the boy salutes and joins us.
Sure enough, Drew calls on Abi. We take Maya, and he takes Amias. The sibling pair battle out the rest of us until we’re even. Brynn leads our team to the far side of the court.
“All right, team. Huddle,” she plants her hands on her knees.
She may not be playing “American football -,” I smirk as we crowd around, - but she is certainly American.
“Who will be the goalie?” She asks.
“Not me,” I gesture to my glasses. “And we need to keep the ball low, or I will get broken glass all over my face.”
“Gotcha. Do you hear that?” Brynn yells to the other team. “Keep the ball low! Visually impaired people will suffer if you don’t!”
We laugh and continue divvying up positions. After a moment of discussion, we take our places. Maya takes striker while Brynn falls back into defense. As I am not strong at anything, Brynn declares me an extra midfielder. Opposite us, Drew backs into the goal while Amias moves into defense. Abi s
eems to have received the same role as me. I wave to her, and she dramatically turns away from me.
“Ata girl, Abi!” One of the older boys laughs.
I pretend to pout and shift my feet. Maya and her fellow striker step into the middle of the court.
“Everyone ready?” She asks.
“Come on, Maya Hester,” Drew calls from his goal. “We all know you don’t care.”
“Fair,” she kicks the ball to her partner.
And so the game begins. I race from one end of the court to the other, trying to keep up with my quick-footed friends. Drew’s team pulls off a goal, but within a few minutes, Maya scores for us. Laughter and shouts fill the gated court with joy. We tease between gasps for breath as we run along the concrete. Blood cracks through skin as knees collide with cement and the metal fencing. And more laughter cracks the air.
I watch the ball, trying to stay open for my teammates. Amias takes the ball, moving forward.
“Oh no, you don’t,” I mutter, running to stop him.
I take the ball and dribble back towards Drew and the goal, but Amias kicks at the ball. Because I have bad luck and bad eyesight, I trip over his foot.
“Whoa!” Amias grabs my hand and pulls me into his grasp, saving me from another injury. “Are you okay?”
I nod, taking a breath.
“Are you sure?” Amias still holds me.
I nod again and smile. And kick the ball between his legs. My teammate whoops and sends it straight into an epic score. My team erupts into cheers. Maya catches Brynn in a hug, yelling at the top of her lungs. Amias stares between me and the goal. My grin broadens.
“Har har, Tarni Bird,” Amias laughs and hugs me. “What happened to ‘not being good?’”
I stiffen for a moment, my heart pounding in his warm grasp. Then slowly reach my arms around him. He feels . . . solid. Like, sunshine found human form.
“Maybe you’re just even worse,” I back away with a wink.
“Ouch!”
I laugh, skipping back to my team. After a few more goals and several more minutes, the sun drops beneath the horizon. Drew checks his watch.
“All right, everybody!” He yells a little hoarsely. “Campfire time!”
We cheer, handing out high-fives all around. Maya catches me in a massive bear hug.
“That assist of yours was wicked!” She sings to the sky.
“Thank you,” I pull myself free. “You played great too.”
“Thanks,” she winks and pats my shoulder.
Brynn picks up the ball, and we file out of the gate. Amias steps into stride beside me.
“How are your battle wounds?” He gestures to my knee.
“Better. I’ll have a pretty bad bruise, but nothing serious,” I shrug.
“Good. You really did play well.”
“I’m not that great, but it’s fun in this group,” I turn forward, and fight the urge to giggle. “Do you play a lot in Kenya?”
“Oh yeah. In the village, I play every day,” I hear a similar strain in his voice.
“Same in our city,” Abi says with complete calm as if she and Drew hadn’t just started holding hands.
Drew glances over his shoulder and gives us (and Brynn) glares that translate to, “If you say a word, I will salt your dessert and pepper your drinks.” He turns forward again. Brynn muffles her laughter in her hand.
“Wanna tease them?” Amias chuckles in my ear.
“Oh yes,” I grin back.
He winks and holds out his hand. I hesitate, but then catch on. I take it. Fighting giggles—because we are literally ten—, Amias and I skip forward, swinging our hands. We pass in front of the embarrassed couple.
“I hate you,” Drew growls.
“Seconded,” Abi’s bright voice sharpens.
“We have no idea what you are referring to,” I beam over my shoulder.
“Yes,” Amias leans against me with a sigh.
Our group descends into cackling. Abi—poor embarrassed Abi—buries her head in Drew’s shoulder, half-laughing half-groaning. Which seems to make Drew a lot less mad at Amias and me.
We keep laughing and chatting as we walk through the hotel building and down to the beach. Amias doesn’t release my hand until I pull myself free.
“Go on ahead,” I crouch down and start untying my shoes. “I don’t want to walk on sand in trainers.”
“Good thinking. I’ll save you a seat,” Amias smiles, walking towards the warm glow of the fire.
I take off my shoes and socks and step into the cold sand. I wiggle my feet in it, gazing out at the ocean. I turn, strolling to meet the crowd of kids and beach-chairs-turned-benches surrounding the blazing fire. I spot Genevieve with her must-be-friend on one of the beach chairs, talking. I wave. Genevieve smiles and waves back. Lena and Rachelle sit on the sand and chat with their friends. Rachelle’s boyfriend makes some comment, and Rachelle shoves him off his beach chair. I snort and sit beside Amias. I set my shoes on the sand.
“Who won the game?” Genevieve calls.
“No one remembers,” Maya plops down on the sand. “It was close.”
Amias clears his throat, “I’m pretty sure some of my teammates were distracted.”
Drew flicks him in the back of the head, “Can it.”
He and Abi sit on one of the beach chairs. Laughter sprinkles through the group before everyone returns to their conversations. I stare into the fire, enthralled.
“All right, everyone,” Jeff claps twice and steps forward. “The s’mores . . .”
He rambles on, explaining the proper order of things. We stiffen, ready to leap up as soon as he finishes. He bows out of the way. I hop to my feet, but Amias catches my hand again.
“Do you want me to get you one, too?” He stands.
“Yes, please,” I beam at him and sit back down.
He chuckles, walking over to the table of s’more fixings. I look up at the stars and listen to the talk and laughter surrounding me. And beyond them, the ocean keeps singing.
A few minutes later, I bite into my sticky delight. Marshmallow and chocolate burst through my mouth. And some on my hands.
“Mmm,” I lick my lips. “Thank you, Amias. This is amazing.”
“You’re welcome. I am the s’more making master in my family, so I should hope it is,” he bites into his own.
“Well, that’s an awesome skill. One you should keep to yourself unless you want to be run down by people begging for your s’mores.”
He shakes his head, “It’s fun. And s’more making abilities are an easy way to make friends.”
“I’m sure it is,” I nod.
Amias hesitates a moment. He reaches out and swipes marshmallow off my cheek.
“You get it all?” My face and stomach warm.
“I think so,” he narrows his eyes and pretends to lick his finger. “Nope. Hang on . . .”
I squeal and lean back, “Amias!”
He laughs, pulling away, “Yes, I got it. But it will probably get on you again.”
“With my luck, you probably aren’t wrong.”
The moon rises above our group, shining bright on the ocean waves. Wind blows over the cold sand. The chatter around the fire turns into whispers as s’mores vanish. I finish mine and scoot closer to Amias for warmth. I wrap my arms around myself. Lena stares into the flames, humming under her breath. Abi perks up and joins her. A moment, and the hymn trickles through our crowd. Amias adds his lovely voice to the mix. I inhale the salty air, the song, the moment and gaze around the fire.
Home.
I’m home.
Warmth fills my heart despite the cold wind surrounding me. The singing reaches deep within me, connecting to the fellow souls around this fire. Something real floods through me, so real, it feels like peace. I rest my head on Amias’s shoulder, and he stiffens, pausing his song.
“Not embarrassed anymore?” He glances down at me with a smile in his voice.
How does he always have a smile in his
voice? I gaze up at him, not moving my head. A warm, brave honesty floats through my chest.
“Meeting you would be worth any measure of embarrassment,” I whisper.
His smile softens, surprised, “Likewise, Tarni Bird.”
We gaze at each other for another moment. He starts singing again, turning forward. I keep my head on his shoulder, and he shifts his arm around me. I look into the fire as his hand rubs my back.
At that moment, I believed summer could last forever.
Golly, I like you.
I look back up at him. Amias glances down. He brushes his hand over my hair, fixing my lopsided headband.
I really, really like you. I release a heavy exhale. Exhaustion and contentment settle over me.
Dread slices through it all.
I like him.
I like him.
No! This can’t happen! I swallow hard and bite my lip. Hard. It’s all right. It’s just a little crush. You haven’t allowed anyone close to you -.
But I have.
And I love them. I love Genevieve, Maya, Abi, Drew, Brynn, Kelly, Lena, Rachelle, Amias; everyone who has been a part of the games and the worship and the dumb dares and the swimming.
I am home.
And in a few weeks, home will abandon me again. They will all abandon and forget me, just like Adam and Everly.
Genevieve.
Maya.
Abi.
The triplets.
Lena.
Rachelle.
Amias.
I will be nothing to them.
I lift my head from Amias’s shoulder, my heart splitting in two. What have I done?
“Tarni?” Amias frowns. “Are you all right?”
I look into the fire, unable to face him. I manage a nod. He gazes at me a little longer and shakes his head.
“No, you’re not.”
I ignore him. What have I done? I have doomed myself to abandonment and built a home I’ll never have again. I am letting them break my heart.
“Tarni,” Amias pulls me into his arms, resting my head on his shoulder.
His warmth and smell surrounds me, piercing through my chaos. Tears burn my eyes, and I shut them tightly. I can figure things out tomorrow. I plead to myself as Amias’s arms pull me close. I can try to make it right. But please, please let me have this. Let me have tonight.
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