by B. T. Narro
This new skill was changing me in some drastic way, but I didn’t know how. All I did know was that I felt like I should still be out there, practicing, like there was nothing more important, not even eating.
I cherished the Induct stone I had taken from Eden. Without it, this probably wouldn’t have been possible without months more of practice.
There was a knock at my door. I wanted to be alone. Seeing one of my friends might pull me out of this state, and there was part of me that wanted to stay here and was ready to fight for it. I didn’t budge from my seat.
They knocked again.
I grumbled. I wished I didn’t have people looking out for me because then I could continue to ignore the insistent knocking. If I did that now, however, whoever it was would probably get guards to break down my door.
I opened the door to see Hadley. She had two empty vials in her hands. “Hello, Jon,” she said with a grin as if happy to see me. “I came to wish you a safe trip tomorrow and request that you fill these vials with the blood of Gourfist if it’s possible. Also, could you bring back as many feathers as you can? I’m not sure if you’re planning to carry a bag on your back, or if Eden will carry food for the two of you.” She seemed to stop in the middle of what she was saying. With a furrowed brow, she looked at me closely. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, eerily indifferent to not only the situation tomorrow but to the appearance of Hadley. I knew she was beautiful, but this time it didn’t stir anything in me.
“Are you sure?” I didn’t know what she saw in my eyes, but it had to be something. “May I come in?”
“I’d rather be alone.”
I could hear voices in the hall. Some of my friends were probably outside their rooms, chatting. There were a couple of guards standing stoically, pretending to ignore it all. I remembered that it wouldn’t be long before Michael would be sharing my room to keep me protected, while Eden would be spending the night in Aliana’s room next door.
Dammit. I wasn’t going to be alone no matter what I said.
I walked back to my plate. I should finish my supper. Then I could get to bed quickly so Michael wouldn’t want to talk to me.
Earlier, when my friends had returned from the forest, I had informed them of my plans tomorrow and of my interaction with Failina, including her warning about Souriff. I hadn’t been able to stick around and listen to all their concerns, as I had been too eager to spend as much time as I could practicing. If I couldn’t keep up with the demigods tomorrow, they would leave me behind. Something told me I had to be with them when they faced Gourfist, not just to protect Eden, but to make sure everything went smoothly. Normally I took some semblance of pride in this, but now it felt like a chore.
I went back to my desk, sat down, picked up my fork, and continued the arduous task of shoveling food into my mouth. I couldn’t remember the last time I had this little interest in eating.
It took me a moment before I realized that Hadley was sitting on the edge of my bed and staring at me with concern.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“You spent all this time flying?”
“Yes.”
“And now you have little interest in anything else?”
I felt my defenses go up. It wasn’t so much that the question itself was incisive; it was the way she spoke it, as if she knew exactly what was wrong with me.
I didn’t want anyone to know.
“Everything’s as it should be,” I tried to tell her casually, though I heard some anger come out through my tone.
She looked at me in silence for a long while. I ignored her until I finished the last of my food. There hadn’t been much left.
Hadley calmly got up off my bed and walked over to my hearth. Only then did I realize that there was no fire. No one had come into my room to start one like they usually did. That’s why it was so cold in here. Hadley knelt down in front of my hearth and stuck out her hand. A thin jet of fire came out and lit the wood.
She hissed as she backed away, holding her burned hand. She looked up at me a few times, silently beckoning for me to heal her. I walked over begrudgingly.
She didn’t hold up her hand for me, so I took her arm to lift her hand on my own. I healed away her minor burns.
To my shock, she snatched her hand back and slapped me.
“What the hell?” I yelled.
She motioned to slap me again, but I grabbed her arm.
“What are you doing?” I said.
“Jon, you’re in a lackadaze!” She tried to slap me with her other hand, but I grabbed that wrist as well. “Let go. I need to snap you out of it.” She kicked me in the shin with what looked to be all of her strength.
“Ow!”
I hopped away from her as I grabbed my shin.
One of the guards threw open my door. “Is everything all right?” the man asked.
I looked back to see Hadley putting up her hands passively. “Everything’s fine.”
“Jon?” asked the guard.
“It’s fine,” I agreed.
He seemed a bit confused, but he closed the door as he left.
“Are you done hitting me?” I asked before I healed my stinging cheek and cut shin. “Damn, that was quite a kick. You drew blood.” I showed her, rolling up my pants.
“I’m sorry. I was trying to get you out of your lackadaze, and it looks like it worked. Are you feeling more like yourself?”
“I suppose I am. That’s the second time you’ve used that phrase. Are you saying lack a daze?”
“Yes, but it’s one word that means something else from what you’re thinking. It comes from the word lackadaisical, which is an adjective for lethargic and without interest. A lackadaze is a common occurrence in Rohaer when someone first uses great power with dteria. I saw it all the time. Afterward, it’s as if nothing else matters to them. I didn’t think it was possible with dvinia, but it seems to have happened to you.” She looked up at me with her large dark eyes. “I’m worried for you.”
“I am feeling much better,” I said. The fog of my mind was gone. “My god, it was bad for a while. Thank you.”
Hadley stepped close and opened her arms. I was a little confused, but I welcomed the embrace. But just as I was starting to hold her, she stole the Induct stone from my pocket and made for the door.
I was about to scream in fury for her to stop, but then I realized this was a test. I held my tongue, as difficult as it was. She got her hand on the door handle before she looked back.
I folded my arms and breathed out my frustration as calmly as I could.
She put on a sheepish grin. “I thought one more test was in order.” She came back and placed the Induct stone in my hand. “It looks like there is quite a difference between a lackadaze caused by dteria and one caused by dvinia. You really do seem completely out of it now. It takes much longer to draw someone out of one caused by dteria.”
“Hey,” I said, just realizing something. “You cast a fire spell earlier.”
“I was wondering if you’d noticed in your state. I learned it recently, but it’s difficult to use without burning myself. I’m far from casting fire as a means of defending myself in battle.”
“That’s your intention with it?”
“Yes, I can’t solely rely on curses if I plan to fight alongside the rest of the sorcerers.”
“I didn’t know you planned that.”
“It’s a recent plan.”
We held each other’s gazes for a moment.
“Could this happen to me again?” I asked. “Another lackadaze?”
“I don’t think so. From what I know about them, they start off strong and only get worse if they are not stopped. But if the caster is pulled out of one, he or she is much less likely to fall into another.”
“So this must’ve happened to Eden recently.”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know her that well.”
“She’s usually very different, funny in her
own way.”
“It sounds like she has, then. I thought that might be the case. I told the other girls about lackadazes already. They are working Eden out of hers, and I do believe they will be successful in a few days. Yours was much easier to disable, but it could’ve been worse had it gone on longer. I’m glad I came to see you now. I feared you might’ve fallen into one and wanted to check.”
“Well, I am feeling much better,” I said. “I owe you.”
She gestured at the empty vials I didn’t remember her putting on my bed. “You can pay me back by filling them.”
A silence passed. I felt like she was about to go.
“You might need to check me for a lackadaze a few more times,” I said facetiously. “Just to be sure. Maybe there is a less painful way of doing so.”
She grinned for a moment but then lost her smile.
“I want to ask you something personal,” she said. “Now you don’t have to answer. In fact, it’s probably not any of my business.”
I had a feeling what this was about. “Go ahead,” I said.
“Everyone seems to think that you are going to marry Callie Lennox one day. I heard what you said in the forest. You seem to be strongly against that idea. May I ask why?”
There was one benefit to my inability to hide my feelings, and it was in times like these. Because of you, I told her with my eyes as I answered. “I think you know.”
“Oh.” She looked down. “So there is something between us,” she murmured, a blush coloring her cheeks. “I don’t know what it is.” Carefully, she glanced up from the tops of her eyes.
“We can find out right now,” I told her, hoping this was the answer she wanted to hear.
But she didn’t seem pleased as she studied me. “Are you only saying that because…?” She glanced away. “I’m not sure I can say it.”
It was difficult for me to figure out what she was thinking, especially when my heart was pounding. I knew what I wanted, and I was about to show her. I put my hand on her shoulder to turn her toward me. I started to lean down toward her lips.
She didn’t glance up to meet mine but turned away instead—a dagger in my heart.
Oh god, I was wrong.
I was too embarrassed to look at her as I stepped back. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I thought you felt the same way as I do.”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. There’s much I still don’t know about you. I don’t know what you want with me.”
I’d already thrown myself out there. I didn’t see how I could make it worse. I was about to tell her.
Wait, it could be worse. This might end up like it had with Kataleya. After we had been together, I had practically pleaded with her to see me again. I was embarrassed every time I thought of it. The last thing I wanted was to go through that again.
“What do you want with me?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I can’t stop thinking about you. When we are near, it’s difficult to take my eyes off you. When we’re not, I find myself hoping to see you soon. I’ve never felt this way before. I can’t say it makes much sense because I haven’t known you for that long. What’s even more confusing is that there are beautiful girls in this castle who were here before me, and I don’t know if you’ve had relations with them. If so, then why aren’t you together? Would the same thing happen to me? Maybe you’re planning to marry the princess after all and you just want to bed me. I don’t know. Sometimes I think you feel the same way as I do, and other times I have no idea anymore.”
Hadley looked down and away. “Listen to me. I sound like a fool. I don’t know why I let all of this out. I couldn’t stop once I started. I feared I might divulge my feelings one of these times I spoke to you. I knew I should’ve just checked on you and left. Why am I still talking? By the devil’s tail, Jon, please say something!”
“Hadley.”
She seemed frightened as she finally looked back at me. Her breathing was ragged, her face bright red.
“I did consider marriage into the Lennox family, but just for a moment,” I explained. “Do you know what made me decide to stop considering it?”
She shook her head.
“Because then I would never have a future with you. The only reason I can function each and every day is because I suppress the feelings I have for you. That’s why sometimes it seems like I’m not interested. It’s the only way I can get through my day. You make me absolutely insane. In fact, I’m really worried about what’s going to happen.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’m going to kiss you now, and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to let you go after.”
She rushed to me. I was surprised by the enthusiasm of her lips, at first. But as the realization dawned on me that I was finally kissing Hadley and she showed no inclination of holding back, I let out the fire within my body. I forgot that there was anything else besides Hadley as our passion grew.
There was a knock at my door. “Jon, you decent?”
Dammit! Michael was of course coming to sleep in my room. I had blissfully forgotten.
Hadley and I separated, and only then did I realize that her hands were fisted in my hair and shirt.
Before I could think of something to tell Michael, he was opening my door and catching us tied up in each other’s arms. I didn’t know why my instinct was to pretend as if nothing had happened, but it seemed like Hadley’s instincts were the same. Both of us jumped away from each other.
It didn’t help.
“Whoa, uh, I’m sorry,” Michael said with his hands up. “I’ll come back later.” He quickly shut the door.
Hadley started laughing. I did as well. She nestled up close to me, putting her head against my chest.
Our laughter died down. Then she glanced up, her eyes on my lips.
I kissed her softly this time. Nothing meant more to me in that moment than her. Michael was a distant memory. Even Gourfist seemed like someone else’s problem.
Hadley felt small and delicate to me, wrapped in my arms. We seemed to fit together like a glove made for a hand, like a sheath for a sword, and she was a hot fire in a cold night.
Something ignited in her as we kissed, as she pressed herself against me and opened her mouth to have more of mine. I pulled her closer. I couldn’t imagine letting go.
Hadley’s warmth was not just heat but something else. It was intoxicating, reaching every corner of my limbs as we kissed.
Eventually we simply stood close, huddled together as she leaned her head against my chest. She let out a satisfied sigh.
“I should go,” she said with glistening eyes.
“You don’t have to. You could stay with me.”
“I do have to. I can’t stay with you. You need better protection than I can offer.”
Unfortunately, it was true. Michael was my best bet against an ambush by Valinox.
“I’ll be thinking of you all night,” I said as I gently fixed her twisted up shirt with soft pats and tugs across her shoulders and collar.
She put her hand over mine as it rested just below her collar. “But I want you thinking about what you have to do tomorrow. You have to make sure you come back safely.”
“I will,” I said.
She slowly peeled away from me. I took her hand and walked with her toward the door.
“Bye,” she said, then went to her toes to give me a peck.
“Bye.” I kissed her back.
“Bye,” she said again, giving me a longer kiss this time.
“Goodbye,” I said, returning with one of my own.
“Goodnight,” she said, then devoured my mouth as she pushed herself up against me and vigorously fisted my hair.
I couldn’t help but think it was a glimpse of what could soon be to come, her hot passion igniting a flame throughout my body. It left me tingling after she parted with a sultry look in her eyes.
I couldn’t utter a word as I could only think about picking her up and carrying her to my
bed.
“Goodnight,” she said again as she opened the door just enough to slip out.
I was suddenly alone, the sound of my breath sharp. The fire in my hearth crackled. I could barely feel its heat, my insides already burning.
I didn’t care that I would have to share a bed with Michael in case Valinox attacked. I didn’t care that the next day I would have to kill Gourfist. I was too happy to worry about any of it.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Centuries ago
When Airinold turned thirteen, his father told him that the other demigods before him had spent their teen years designing their contribution to mankind. His father pressured him to do the same, but Airinold was different. He spent his teen years watching his siblings and learning from their mistakes.
At first, Airinold wanted to be more like his father, Basael, who had created something that others could build upon—mana. Basael had given meaning to notes and birthed sorcery by doing so. Soon after, Basael took a human as his wife and impregnated her. He gave up a little piece of himself with each child he brought to life within her, more so after seeing the good that they brought into the world.
He had sacrificed more power for Airinold than he had for any other demigod. For a while, Airinold was the strongest of them all, especially because he hadn’t given up any of his own strength to create a school of magic like his siblings had. Then Basael gave life to Airinold’s younger brother, Caarda.
Airinold’s jealousy of his father’s favorite son was short-lived. Caarda soon became his closest friend.
Airinold and Caarda both wanted to do something more than create a school of magic. They liked the idea of one day bringing life into the world, as their father had done. However, none of the demigods could procreate and were told by their father not to take wives or husbands. Continuously, Basael pressured both Airinold and Caarda into creating something on their own by giving up much of the power bestowed onto them. However, both could not decide what they wanted to make.