“Oh, shut up. I don’t have a magic vagina,” I whispered at a volume barely audible. “I had a good time. Does that make me an awful person? I can hear my father’s sermon about loose morals and the sins of the flesh.” It was strange how my mind remembered stuff I never gave my full attention to.
Jade inhaled all the oxygen in the room, and then blew out her disappointment in a rush of air. The power of it displaced my hair. “Stop. You never cared what your parents thought before. Hell, outside of the church, were they ever even invested in you? I swear you are going to drive me nuts.”
She reached for my hands. Her long sleeves rode up her arms to show her bruises. They appeared to have faded slightly and were taking on a green tint. I hoped never to see anything like that on her again.
“You’re right.” The family mantra, children were to be seen and not heard, didn’t leave a lot of room for conversation or interaction. I was the perfect pastor’s daughter until I wasn’t. That first act of defiance had set the stage for my life now.
“Did you go home and cry last night?” What would she think when I told her I’d loved it, but I’d hated myself anyway?
“No, I went home and took my second shower of the morning. I’m struggling to come to terms with being a…” I whispered the word whore, “…and the feeling I had around the experience. I loved every second with him. Holy hell, Jade, three times, and each time my needs were met. Never in my life have I experienced that.”
Her eyes grew wide. I wasn’t sure if I saw shock or envy. “Wow, you ended up with a good one. So the broom is adequate?”
“It’s a push-broom, not a tiny hand-broom. He knows exactly what to do with it. He also has a bit of an oral fixation.”
“Give me something to hate him for. Is he ugly? Does he have moobs? What about bad teeth or foul breath?” She was searching for a negative, but there weren’t any besides the fact that he paid me for sex. He was the kind of man I would have taken on for free. He was dating material. Marriage material. Father material, and yet he couldn’t see past his past and into his future.
“Sorry, none of that. He’s just a guy, and he knows what he wants. He’s direct, demanding, and he makes me feel special.” I fidgeted with the napkin in front of me. Was this where she would tell me to drop him again?
“He sounds lovely. So, you’re seeing him again Saturday?”
“Yes, some auction and opera combination. He told me he needed a distraction.” He also told me he had a private box, which only meant he intended to use it privately. Hot moisture seeped into my panties. My cheeks began to heat.
“You’re blushing. What’s going on in that dirty little mind of yours?” She pushed her hair off her shoulders, revealing a silver chain connected to an infinity symbol. I’d never seen it before.
“He has a private box.” I bit my lip and waited for her to razz me, but she didn’t. She gave me a somber look and changed the subject entirely. She looked into my eyes and in all seriousness said, “You’re not a whore, River. I tell myself, and anyone who asks, that I work in hospitality. Convincing yourself is the toughest part, but convincing others is easy. It took me months to get over feeling dirty. When I went exclusive, it helped because I could honestly say I was in a relationship. Now that I’ve been in this relationship for a few months, I’m not sure what’s better: going from man to man without expectations, or doing what I’m doing. All my eggs are in their basket, and that leaves me vulnerable.” She stared into the foam of her latte. She was in a private place in her head, and she hadn’t invited me in.
“You have money, right? You still get paid?” How did the compensation work when you became exclusive?
“Yes, I receive a monthly stipend, plus clothes, housing, and miscellaneous. Don’t worry, I have money in the bank, and I’m well on my way to paying off my student loans.”
Relief washed over me. I would hate for her to have gone through all of this and not come out on top. “So…do you want to tell me about the necklace?” Her surprised expression told me she didn’t expect me to notice.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and rolled it back and forth. “It’s a collar. The duo gave it to me last night. It signifies the beginning of a journey. It’s a public symbol of their commitment to me.” She touched the metal softly. Her fingers stroked the figure eight in the center. The gesture had more significance than she was letting on.
“It seems to make you happy, and that makes me happy.” I drank the remaining coffee in my cup and prepared to leave. We could talk later about the symbolism of the necklace. Right now, I had to get to class.
“I think Mr. Broom got it right. You are sunshine.” She beamed at me. The light had found its way back to her eyes.
“No, I’m not. I’m River Roberts, and I work in commodities.” I spoke in my best boardroom voice.
“Nice to meet you, River. What firm do you work for?”
“I’m an independent, seeing to the individual needs of each client. My services and contracts vary.”
“Sounds like an interesting job.”
“Oh, you have no idea.”
We rose from the table together and embraced. What would I do without Jade? My mind answered the question with a vision of me dressed in a bikini behind the counter at The Grind.
* * *
Luca sauntered into my International Business Studies class like he taught it. I slunk down in my seat, hoping to become invisible. Pulling the syllabus in front of my face, I prayed he didn’t see me. As the minutes passed, I tried to relax. Afraid to peek over the pages, I remained hidden by an eight-and-a-half by eleven-inch paper shield. The seats filled to my left and right, but I focused on the words in front of me. I didn’t see the words, as they were a blur of letters. Slowly, I pulled the page down. The lecture hall was nearly full. An older woman sat to my right. To my left was none other than Luca. He was staring at me. His eyes were laughing, but his mouth was silent.
“Nice to see you again?” The rich timbre of his voice fell over me like a fresh blanket of snow. A chill coursed down my body before the heat of desire raced to replace it.
I had to decide in an instant if I wanted to pretend I’d never met him, or if I wanted to acknowledge him at all. I glanced around the hall and saw several women straining their necks to get a glimpse of the dark-haired man-candy sitting next to me. His bluebird-colored eyes danced with curiosity. I imagined he was wondering the same thing.
“It’s Luca, right?” I’d never been one to play games, so why start now?
“So, you do remember me. I’m so glad.” He licked his thumb and brought it to my nose and swiped. “You had a smudge from the papers you were hiding behind. You don’t have to hide from me. We share the same secret,” he said in a tone only meant for my ears.
I assumed that meant he got the job. I was still trying to decide whether I liked him rubbing his spit across my nose. Now I would have to digest the fact that one of my fellow students knew what I did. My once large world was shrinking by the minute.
“You’re a business major, too? What’s your emphasis?” Small talk seemed to be the best option at this point.
“Finance. You?” He gave me his playboy smile—the one that was destined to earn him big bonuses.
“Same. How weird is that?” That means there was a good chance I would see him in more of my classes. “What other classes do you have today?”
“I have Accounting and Entrepreneurship.” I could have fallen out of my seat if I wasn’t completely contained on three sides. “What about you?”
“Same. How weird is that?” I repeated my exact response from his earlier question.
“That’s awesome. We’re officially homework buddies. We can meet Thursdays at the student union after class.” He said this like it was a done deal.
“We’ll see. I haven’t worked out my study schedule yet. I’ll let you know.” Like a high schooler, he pulled my hand in front of him and wrote his phone number on my arm.
&nbs
p; “Give me yours. I’m serious, I need a buddy.”
He could get any of the ogling women, and probably some of the men, not only to study with him, but also do his assignments. Some men just had that aura. He was one of them. Like an idiot, I gave him my private number and, just for fun, drew a smiley face next to it. It felt just like high school.
Luca and I traipsed from class to class together. I learned he’d earned his undergraduate degree in Chicago. He came to New York to be closer to the financial district. Although we had not discussed work, we danced around the subject several times. Eventually, one of us would be brave enough to start asking questions. My mind was full of them.
He came from a large family of Italian descent. That explained the dark hair and bronze skin, but his blue eyes were a surprise. Like me, he was on his own for college. In his case, it was simply a matter of numbers. With five siblings and an electrician as a father, there was no way his parents were financing higher education.
He asked about my story. I told him I was the only child of a poor couple. I didn’t elaborate. He left it at that, and I was grateful. The groundwork for friendship was laid. I could see Luca becoming an ally. Everyone needed allies.
Chapter 12
“Someone has a sugar daddy,” my roommate yelled from her room. Shit…shit…shit…did she know? How was I supposed to handle this?
“What are you talking about?” Clueless wouldn’t have been my go-to plan, but it seemed the only option at this point.
“You got another delivery. It’s on your bed.” She walked into the living room dressed to kill. Her wardrobe consisted of a strip of fabric around her hips and one around her chest. She worked as a cocktail waitress at a nightclub. We hardly ever saw each other, as she was usually leaving as I was getting home. “I swear, River, if you stiff me for rent, I’ll kill you.”
“When have I ever stiffed you for rent?” If she only knew I was getting stiffed so I could pay my rent, I wondered what she would say. “I’m attending the opera, and I needed a dress. I have a friend who works at Bloomingdales, and she sent over something for me to try. She’s been instrumental in finding some incredible things that fall within my budget.” Everything about that statement was the truth in the loosest sense. I refused to out and out lie. This job was going to change a lot of things about me, but I’d be damned if it would make me a liar.
“Opera, I hate the opera. Let’s hope your date can provide a distraction.” Little did she know, those exact words were used to describe my role. She walked out the door, and I raced to my room to open the packages.
Two zippered bags were on my bed. Several bags sat on my floor. Erica went overboard. The woman obviously worked on commission.
Like a kid at Christmas, I quickly unzipped the first bag and gasped. I removed the single-shouldered dress from the bag. A simple brooch gathered the silver material to one hip, where it flowed in layers to the floor. It was elegant and sexy and would go perfectly with a black tuxedo. When I opened the next bag, I nearly fainted. The vivid blue gown had a low-cut, V-necked bodice with thin shoulder straps. The light chiffon material hung from a high cinched waist. A bold slit came midway up the skirt.
My clothes were discarded in seconds flat. I dumped the contents of the bags from the floor and found matching shoes, wraps, and clutches. Erica had thought of everything. Jonathan must have called her first thing this morning. That meant he was thinking of me. I reminded myself this wasn’t a relationship, but I couldn’t help rushing to my phone to send a quick text to him. I knew I shouldn’t contact him. It seemed wrong, but I wanted him to know how happy he had made me. I wondered if he cared.
I found his earlier message and typed in a simple thank you. After a quick glance, I saw I had a lot of messages, none of which were from Jonathan. I’d get to them later. With a toss, my work phone landed on the bed. Right now, I was giving myself a fashion show.
Standing nearly naked, I debated between the silver and the blue. Which should I try on first? They were both beautiful in their own right. My eyes shifted between the two, but I spent more time eyeing the silver. I removed it carefully from the hanger and slipped it over my head. It fit my curves like it had been custom made for my body.
My phone pinged.
You’re welcome. Do you like them? Wear the silver one on Saturday. We’ll come up with somewhere to wear the blue.
Jonathan.
How did he know what they looked like? I figured he would have called Erica, and she would have selected everything.
Jonathan,
I just slipped on the silver dress. It fits perfectly. How did you know what Erica sent?
River
I anxiously awaited his reply.
I picked them myself. Take a selfie and send it to me.
He didn’t sign the last message. I stared at the screen and read it over and over again. What did he mean he picked them himself?
No selfie. You have to wait until Saturday. You have excellent taste by the way, but you sent way too much.
River
He didn’t reply right away. Just when I tossed the phone to the side, it pinged again. I rushed to pick it up.
You please me. See you Saturday. Howard will be there at seven.
I pleased him…somehow, that made a difference to me. I spent my whole life trying to please one person or another, with no success, but I’d spent one night with him, and he was pleased.
I spent the next thirty minutes trying on everything. Each piece was important because he’d chosen it.
* * *
A stream of moonlight peeked through the window beside me, its glow highlighting the scarred tabletop where I sat doing my homework. The Four Seasons seemed a distant memory. A text from Sandra flashed across the screen of my phone.
River,
You need to return your mentor’s calls. I’m getting complaints. I know this is new to you, and you may be trying to adjust to your schedule, but we pride ourselves on providing excellent service, and that includes expedient follow-ups. A yes means yes, River. Don’t disappointment me.
Sandra
Well, shit, I was in trouble. I hadn’t checked my inbox for second encounter inquiries all day. After last night, the thought of being with anyone but Jonathan made me queasy. No one could possibly live up to last night. I typed a reply to Sandra that simply said,
I’m on it.
River
I found a message from Paul Yoder, confirming our “date”; he asked me to meet him at Sir Harry’s Bar in the lobby of the Waldorf Astoria. The man had lovely taste in hotels. I confirmed the place and time and then attempted to answer the remaining requests. I made my next meet-and-greet for Monday afternoon. John Strickland and I would meet at a swanky oyster bar in Times Square.
Ben Daniels wanted to meet for dinner. He was a nice old man. I looked at my calendar and set up a meeting for Monday night. I prayed he didn’t want a sleepover. I didn’t want to schedule anyone on school nights, but since I was quickly going to the top of Sandra’s naughty list, I did my best to accommodate everyone.
Donald Zane wanted to meet, but I told him I wasn’t available until the following Friday. I penciled him in until I heard back from him. The only one I hadn’t heard from was Craig Hagen, and I was relieved. I had two new requests for meet-and-greets. I scheduled one lunch meeting for Wednesday. I was reluctant to schedule Wednesday evenings, just in case Jonathan asked for a permanent day. My last request was scheduled for Saturday morning. Since I was not doing a sleepover with Paul, I would be able to meet with Anthony Baldwin for breakfast without a problem. My life had never been so busy.
My personal phone rang, and as I didn’t recognize the number, I answered it with a question in my voice.
“Hello?”
“It’s Luca. What are you doing?”
“Homework. You should be doing the same.” He better not expect me to do his homework.
“I’m done. I was bored, so I thought I would call.” How could this hu
nk of a man be bored? I was sure there was a bevy of beauties happy to entertain him. He called me because he was bored? What did that say about me?
“I’m surprised. I thought you were going to ask me to do your homework.”
“I always do my homework right after class. I don’t know what my schedule is going to look like.” There was an underlying message there—one I completely understood.
I hesitated for a moment. “Have you managed to find a balance?” I didn’t have to elaborate. He knew what I meant. Even though Jade worked in the same field, her situation was completely different. Rather than shuffle clients, she submitted to one or two.
“No, not yet. My phone rings off the hook. I don’t have enough nights. I refuse to work Mondays and Thursdays. The rest of the nights fill up like I’m selling crack in Queens.” I couldn’t tell if he was pleased or puzzled. I didn’t know him well enough to decide.
“Yeah, I got a kick-in-the-ass reminder from Sandra today to get on my appointments.”
“Really?”
He sounded surprised. I bet Sandra wouldn’t be calling Luca. I wondered if the rules were the same for him. What did his limit list look like?
“Yes. Hey…can I ask you a personal question?” I knew I shouldn’t ask, but curiosity was killing me.
Silence.
“Luca?”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I can ask?”
“Yes.”
I was almost embarrassed to inquire, but the question had been in the back of my head since the first time I saw him. “Men and women?” I added a questioning inflection at the end. He would understand.
“No, I’m a man’s man who adores women. I can’t believe you considered I would swing that way.” I listened carefully and recognized the sound of disappointment in his voice.
The Dean’s List Page 11