Cleanliness was next to godliness.
“I belong to you?” He closed the door behind us and set the bag of food on my dresser. “When did you decide that?”
What should I say? My heart decided the day I met him, but my head knew the reality of the situation. Maybe I should joke around and say my parts decided on our second encounter, or my lips decided on our first. It could have been the day at the opera when my body burst apart in his hands while strains of La Traviata provided the sublimely passionate background. I could have said all these things, but I didn’t.
“Of course, you don’t belong to me, but she doesn’t know that. Besides, I don’t like the way she looked at you.”
Yep, I said something stupid. If this was what jealousy felt like, I’d have none of it. My stomach twisted from the emotion. A few minutes ago, my hands twitched to slap the look off Tiffany’s face. Jealousy was an ugly beast, and I had no right or desire to feel it.
“Jealous? Really?” He slipped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my neck.
“I can’t help it. You did an incredibly selfless thing for me today. You see me like no one ever has, and that’s a powerful aphrodisiac. Call me crazy, but the whole thing that went down at Dim Sumptuous was foreplay. Totally sexy and powerfully arousing.”
“How hungry are you?”
He walked me backward to my bed and pressed me to the mattress. The weight of his body pushed me into the soft comforter. My body thrummed with excitement. This was so different from the hotel. He was on my turf, and somehow the rules had changed. This wasn’t a paid-for adventure, but rather an experience to be enjoyed.
“Famished.”
My lips sought his. My hands explored his body. Too many clothes. Tucked into his pants, his shirt sat snugly. Tugging and pulling, I slid it up and over his head. The hair of his chest demanded the attention of my fingers.
“Famished, huh?” His breathing had altered. The pace quickened with each kiss. His hardness pressed against me. Soaked were the ugly cotton briefs I’d put on for the inquisition.
“Starving.”
His belt buckle slowed me down, but I managed to pull it free. Frantic, I pulled at the button and zipper of his jeans. If I didn’t get him inside of me in seconds, I might perish. It was a silly thought. Of course, I wouldn’t perish, but for some reason, he anchored me. He called me Sunshine, but in reality, he would be the light in my life. The days I spent with him would warm me from the inside out and give me the strength to get through the days without him. I realized I was treading on dangerous ground. Jade was right—my first would always be special.
“You are insatiable.”
He rose to remove the rest of his clothes. Naked in front of me, I stared. My mouth watered at the sight of him. He was amazing. Seemingly chiseled from granite, his hard body called to me. I reached and pulled him toward me with an urgency and hunger I wasn’t familiar with.
“River, what’s wrong?”
His body balanced on his strong arms above me. Concern was etched on his face. The only thing wrong was he was not inside me. Everything would be perfect once he was.
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right. It’s just taking too long to make it perfect.”
I began to pull at my own clothes. The ugly sweater felt like sandpaper against my flesh, particularly since my skin was hypersensitive from arousal. He stood up, pulled me to my feet, and lifted the material from my body. It was disposed of in the corner.
“Throw that piece of shit away. I never want to see you in it again. Don’t ever hide your beauty.” He quickly divested me of my pants. With a shake of his head, he stared at my white cotton briefs.
A ripple of fear ran down my back. He told me never to wear underwear when I was with him. Certainly, he’d overlook it this time. I had no idea he was coming.
“Jonathan, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would—”
His placed a finger over my lips and silenced me. “You’re not in trouble. I can’t say these please me. I don’t recognize the girl who wears them.” He tugged at the panties until they fell to the floor, then picked them up and tossed them onto the sweater. “This is the girl I know, the one with a smile in her heart that shows on every part of her body. This girl pleases me. Amazes me. This girl turns me on.”
Fire seemed to burn in his eyes as he took in my body. I could see his breathing quicken. I please him. I amaze him?
The condom he pulled from his pants was rolled on quickly, and he was in me before I could take my next breath. I wasn’t sure who needed whom more. His lovemaking was desperate, like he was trying to fill a gaping hole. He’d told me sometimes he would take me hard and fast, sometimes hard and slow. Sometimes, it would take hours to get enough of me. Today, his pace was quick and focused. His strokes powerful but measured. All the while, his eyes never left mine. Something hid behind them that I didn’t understand. It was something more than passion. There was a softness that resembled love, and yet I knew it couldn’t be. Would never be.
His thumb circled around my bundle of nerves. The sensations were so powerful, I almost came right then. It was when his eyes shifted and watched as he pressed himself in and out of me that I broke apart. When his fingers slipped around his girth to feel me sheathe him, I exploded around him. He continued to tease my pulsing bud with his fingers until I could no longer stand the intensity of his touch. Bearing down, I squeezed him inside me, hoping to halt the torturous pleasure. He stilled and gave himself up to me. I relished in every pulse and twitch.
Sliding gently from inside me, he collapsed on the bed beside me. Pulling the edge of the comforter over both of us, I snuggled up next to his body in search of the warmth it offered.
“Why is it so good with you?”
Was that a real question, or simply a questioning statement? I had no idea how to answer him. I didn’t know why it was so good between us, but it was. Our bodies talked to each other. My heart beat differently when he was with me. Its rhythm stronger. Chemistry. We had undeniable chemistry.
“It is good, isn’t it?”
I’d love to tell him he was like no other man, but I wasn’t allowed to discuss other men with him. I’d love to ask him how many women he saw. Was I really the only one right now? Unfortunately, it wasn’t appropriate. It was at these times I was reminded of what I was. I was not his date, his girlfriend, or his friend. I was a paid companion. Although, today felt different.
“Your mind seems like it’s somewhere else. Where did you go?”
He rolled to his side so he could see me. I felt him adjust himself and realized he was removing the condom. Reaching for the tissues on my nightstand, I handed him a couple so he could wrap it up and set it aside.
“I never left you,” I said honestly. My thoughts always seemed to be on him. “I was just thinking about what you said, and I’m trying to figure out why everything with you is more. It’s like my soul knows you, but I don’t really know you very well at all. It’s hard to explain.”
“Ask me anything you want. Today is your day. We’re on your time.” He played with my hair, pushing it away from my face. I liked having it cover part of my face. With it pushed aside, I felt completely exposed.
“Why commando? I’ve never seen you wear underwear.” I slid my hand down and rested it on his bare hip.
He lay silently beside me for several minutes. How hard could it be to divulge why he was always freeballing?
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but I’m breaking my rule about talking about other women. Are you okay with that?” He watched my face for the truth.
Was I okay with that? Did I want to know about other women in his life? No. Yes. I wanted to know everything about him.
“Yes, I want to know.”
I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth, biting the soft tissue inside. It was a nervous habit I’d had for as long as I could remember. I’d been known to chew a hole right through it if my stress levels were too high for too long.
/> “Stop chewing your lip, and I’ll tell you. I’ll chew your lip later if that makes you feel any better.”
“Promise?” I might like him chewing my lip.
He leaned up on his elbow and began his commando explanation.
“Claire and I were trying to conceive for several years, but it wasn’t working. We both went to the doctor, and they couldn’t find anything wrong. Our parts seemed to be working fine. Her doctor told me to stop wearing underwear for a while because the heat from keeping my balls sacked up could reduce my sperm count. I tried it, and I’ve never gone back. I like the less constricted feel. Does it bother you?”
“No, I like it. It was just surprising. Had I known you were coming today, I would have disposed of my panties. I like to please you.”
“You do please me, more than you’ll ever know. What else do you want to know? I’m giving you free reign, Sunshine. You might never get it again.”
Shocked by this revelation, my mind raced with all the things I wanted to know. Where did I start?
“This is a purely selfish question. I was wondering if you were ever going to ask me for a permanent day. I don’t want to push you in that direction if that’s not what you want, but I like spending time with you, and I want you to have all the days you want.” I hoped I worded that wisely. What would I do if he told me he didn’t want to see me again? Could that be a possibility? No, of course not. I still had a dress he bought me that he said we’d find someplace to wear. I wore his bracelet like Jade wore the duo’s collar. A part of me belonged to him exclusively.
“I’m glad you brought that up. I hate to think of you with other men. It drives me crazy.” Was it possible he would ask for an exclusive arrangement? I held my breath and waited for him to finish. “I can’t offer you an exclusive arrangement, River. I wish I could, but that would be dishonest to you and myself. I can’t talk about why, I just can’t. Having said that, I would like to book your Wednesdays and Saturdays. Do you think you could stand to be around me two days a week?”
The disappointment of not being able to be exclusively his was heartbreaking. However, knowing I could be with him two days a week was a soothing balm. I pressed my lips to his and relished the softness.
“You have just made me the happiest girl,” I whispered.
“I’m glad. You make me happy as well. All right, what else do you want to know?”
“What’s your house like?” I was curious about where he went every night.
“My house on Center Island is a waterfront property. I don’t get there very often. Some months, it’s only once. I really should sell it, but I don’t have the heart to just yet. I stay in the city most nights. I have a three-bedroom on Fifth Avenue. It’s not too far from where Sandra runs her business. I’ll take you there sometime.”
“Really? I’d love to go to your place.” Seeing where he lived would be amazing. I wouldn’t have to lie in bed and wonder what he was doing. I could visualize it.
My next question might have ended all further questions, but I asked it anyway. “What brought you to Concierge Services, and how long have you been a member?”
“Loneliness brought me there about three years ago.”
It shouldn’t surprise me that he was a regular, but it hurt to know I was not as special as he’d led me to believe. He had been using girls from the service for years. I understood loneliness. I was no stranger to a solitary life, but he had so much to offer. I understood about using people for sex. I’d done it, but why did he have to? Any woman would be a fool not to want him long-term.
“Like I told you on our first meeting, I don’t want a relationship. I don’t need the complications of one. I can’t go there. Concierge Services offers me what I want.”
His words stung because no matter how you cut it, seeing me twice a week would put us into a relationship. Shit, my heart and head were there before he had committed to two days. He must have seen the disappointment on my face. He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. I focused on the amber flecks because if I actually saw him completely, I might lose my composure. It was funny how my head could play games, creating the scenario I wanted. Two days a week would have to do.
“You’re different, River.” My head sarcastically said, yeah, right. My heart wished it were true. “I told you I chose you from your smiling photos. That’s not entirely true. I looked at all three. The first two looked hollow. You were pretty, but the light wasn’t in your eyes. The third picture, the one where you were laughing, showed something different. It showed a spark of something I wanted to get to know. The hollow girl tugged at my heartstrings. I hadn’t seen her surface until today, when you said you would be fine at lunch.”
“I would have been fine.” The lie tasted bitter in my mouth.
“Bullshit. They would have extinguished the spark that shines so brightly in your eyes. I don’t know how you are with others, but you shine when we’re together, and it’s contagious. I want that. I need that. What made you laugh that day when they took that picture?”
My head was trying to wrap around his words about wanting and needing a part of me. “Everything happened so quickly. One morning I was working as a bikini barista, and that afternoon I was in Sandra’s office, being told my worries were over. The next day, I was sitting in front of the photographer. He told me to look sexy, and I wasn’t sure how to do that. That was when Sandra said I was sex. It struck me as funny.”
“I would agree with Sandra. Everything about you screams ‘sexy’. Come here, beautiful.” He pulled me into his arms and began to rub my back. I melted under his fingertips. I could feel his arousal press against my stomach. He wanted me again. Every cell of my body screamed with the need to have more of this man. “If you don’t want to have sex with me again, just tell me.”
Why would he think that? I wanted him as often as he’d take me. “I do, I want you so badly.”
I reached into my nightstand drawer and tore off a condom from a new strip. Straddling him, I quickly rolled on the latex and slid my body onto his, sinking onto his length painfully slowly. I loved the feeling when he first entered me. My body hugged him tightly. My slickness built immediately. Rocking my hips, I established the rhythm and motion. I raised and lowered and repeated. He lay beneath me and let me control the moment.
His eyes were heavy and his breathing hard. My fingers traced his nipples, causing his hips to buck. The thrust increased my excitement. He pinched my nipples painfully, but the sensation only increased my desire. I sat on the edge between pain and pleasure. Rocking into him, I found the place that would send me soaring. Slow, steady movements drove me higher. I took him with me. We would fly together, and it would be magnificent. I moaned as my climax neared. He watched me. I was so close, so damn close. With his hands lowered to my hips, he pressed me into him as he thrust deeper inside me. I fell as the coiled tension released with a guttural cry. His name slipped from my lips as I crashed around him and he exploded inside me. We rocked until every quiver was leached from our bodies. Exhausted, I collapsed onto his chest. His fingers brushed gently across my back, sending prickles of sensation across my skin.
His breath became slow and steady. I gently lifted myself from his body, not wanting to wake him. I wanted to watch him sleep. Everything about him was so perfect in his slumber. I got one foot off the bed before he grabbed me and pulled me back.
“Where are you going? I’m not done with you yet.” Surely, he couldn’t be ready to go again? He pulled me to his side and kissed me with such passion, my heart nearly collapsed.
We sat in bed, eating cold Greek food. As famished as we were, anything would have tasted wonderful. Once finished, he leaned against my headboard, the sheet pulled up to his waist. If I could have, I would have snapped a picture of him.
“Your mind is racing again. What are you thinking about?”
“How do you know when my mind is racing? Hell, my mind is always racing.”
“Your lip curls and twitches in the
right corner. It’s your thinking giveaway. So, ’fess up.” He stretched his arms above his head. Every muscle rippled. How was I supposed to think when he was naked in my bed?
“All right, I was taking a mental picture of you since I can’t take a real one. You are so freaking sexy in my bed, and I wanted to remember this moment forever. Are you happy? You squeezed the embarrassing truth out of me. I internally drool over you.” I wanted to bury my head in his chest.
“What would you do with my picture?” He tucked the sheet around his hips.
I wasn’t sure what he meant. What did he think I would do with his picture?
“I’d look at it. I certainly wouldn’t share it if that’s what you’re thinking.”
I never considered he might think I would use it in a malicious way. It was a moot point anyway. He would never let me snap a picture of him like this. Sandra warned me about nude pictures, but what was the harm in me having one of him? I knew I could trust me.
“No, it never crossed my mind. I might consider letting you take my picture if you reciprocate. I could use a naked picture of you to stroke away my tension when we’re not together.” Did he really just tell me he wanted a picture to jack off to? Oh Lord, if that wasn’t the hottest thing. I knew I shouldn’t allow him to take the picture, but I felt like I could trust him. “Get your camera, Sunshine.” No freaking way. I hopped off the bed and raced to my purse in the living room before he changed his mind. I glanced around and realized Tiffany had left for work.
“We’re alone,” I said when I walked back in.
Not that it made any difference. The room could be filled with people, and I would feel like we were the only two people that existed. I pulled my phone from my bag and shot a picture of him all mussed and sexed up. He looked incredibly sexy. Little did he know, I might be using his picture to gain some relief on my own. Two nights with him was never going to be enough.
The Dean’s List Page 16