by Marian Tee
I said yes right away, but when we got to my car, I slid behind the wheel and Rima slid into the backseat.
Our eyes met through the rearview mirror. “I hope you don’t mind,” Nathan’s stepmother said in the same sweet voice. “I get horribly carsick when I’m in front.”
I gave her a smile. “I don’t mind at all.” It wasn’t like I could say anything else.
Throughout the ride, Rima quizzed me about my relationship with Nathan, and I tried to be as honest as I can without sounding as pathetic as I currently felt. I also made no mention about my ill-fated feelings for Nik Alexandropoulos. That was my sin to bear, and no one else’s.
“I hope you haven’t any plans for marriage yet,” she murmured out of the blue.
“Umm.” Was there any right way to answer that?
I had thought about this a lot last night, and eventually I had come to conclude that Nathan’s father might have decided it would be ideal if his son married a nice Greek girl. He might’ve asked his second wife to deliver his command, might have even used the family card as leverage.
Do what I order and we’ll be one big happy family.
I knew it sounded more like a plot for the next big thing in soap operas, but one thought what one could when there were so few facts to work with.
“He’s still so young, you know,” Rima was saying.
“He’s already twenty-six,” I blurted out. But then I saw her lips tighten through the rearview mirror, and I added hastily, “But you’re right. There’s no rush at all.”
Nathan’s stepmother flashed me a smile. “Exactly.”
And at that moment I knew – I just knew – I had been warned.
She didn’t just disapprove of me for her stepson. She didn’t like me, period.
My stomach turned queasy for a second.
A storm was coming, I thought again. Would it come down to forcing Nathan to choose between his family and me?
I hoped not.
I prayed not.
But in the end, I realized that would have been better than the truth.
Rima Callis’ suite was the most expensive that the hotel offered, the bill of which her stepson footed since his father was rather tight-fisted.
“I see.” I still had the same question in my mind. Was there any right way to answer that?
“Anyway.” She flashed me another smile.
Back in my journalist days, I had worked on a piece about butterflies once, and the most trivial facts about those enchanting winged insects started flooding my mind as I stared at Rima.
Butterflies were cold-blooded.
Some were poisonous.
Some liked to suck blood, usually on open wounds of a larger animal.
“Follow me, please.”
Said the spider to the fly, I mused.
Maybe I got it all wrong from the start.
Another piece I had once worked on had to do with arachnids, and few people knew that not all spiders were ugly, hairy, eight-legged creatures. Well, okay, all of them still had eight legs, but a few were quite beautiful.
There was the sequin spider, for instance. They were also called mirror spiders because their abdomens consisted of reflective spots that made their bodies shimmer like a jewel.
Beautiful…
But still a spider, I thought.
I had assumed that Rima would have me installed at the living room and promptly forget all about me, but instead she led me to one of the inner rooms, which turned out to be an en-suite library decorated in mahogany panels and came complete with a granite fireplace and a comfy-looking armchair.
“Wow.” I couldn’t help marveling at my surroundings even though a fireplace in Miami didn’t exactly make sense. Functionality was overrated, anyway. If it looked really good, then it was meant to be.
The library was stocked with what looked like first-edition classics, and for just a few moments I was able to set aside my heartbreak in the presence of such beauties. Already my mind was running over the possibilities – what could be a nice catchy headline if I wrote about this suite?
BOOK This Suite – A Dream Staycation for Bibliophiles
Literally Beautiful – The Hotel Suite Designed for Book Lovers
By the time I realized Rima had indeed left me to my own devices, I already had the blog post half complete in my mind and about fifty photos stored in my iPhone.
This, I learned later on, was the calm before the storm.
Rima had left the door slightly ajar upon leaving, and familiar voices came drifting inside the library about half an hour later.
Nathan, I thought, having immediately recognized the person Rima was talking to.
“Why the hell would you go to such lengths?”
I knew it, I thought. Rima was acting as Nathan’s father’s henchman, and she had been sent to kick me out of his son’s life.
“Because I knew of no other way to get you to talk to me,” she cried out. “And it worked.” Her voice became bitter. “Didn’t it?”
Spider, I couldn’t help thinking.
She was definitely a spider, but so damn pretty she could fool most people into thinking she was this harmless, ephemeral butterfly who could never leave lasting damage.
“You have to stop this.”
You go, Nathan, I thought. Tell it to her straight. Let her know you’re going to fight for me.
“I can’t.” Rima’s tone shook. “Because after all these years, I realized I was wrong.”
The storm was coming.
“Your last night in Hong Kong, when I drove you to the airport, you were so furious when I told you I missed you.”
The storm was coming.
“There’s no point in rehashing the past,” Nathan grated out harshly.
“There is every point,” Rima said passionately, “because I know you’ve loved me all these years.”
The storm was coming.
“Now I know,” she whispered. “I should have chosen you, Nates, but I didn’t, and---” Her voice broke. “Please tell me I’m not too late.”
But he didn’t answer.
He didn’t answer.
And I knew then that the storm had come.
Nathan Callis was my personal storm, and there was no stopping him from breaking my heart.
Nathan
I should have chosen you, Nates, but I didn’t.
Please tell me I’m not too late.
The words echoed in Nathan’s brain as he found himself staring at her tear-streaked face. She spoke of such words like she really did believe that he had been waiting for them his entire life. She spoke of them with such conviction that he could almost believe her.
Almost.
But life – love – wasn’t that easy.
She had taught him that so many damn years ago.
“Nates---” She broke off as they both heard the sound of a door being opened, and his gaze whipped towards it.
A moment later, Nathan was stunned to find Alyx emerging.
His gaze whipped back to Rima, his eyes blazing with rage. What the fuck did she think she was doing?
Rima lifted her chin up. “I did what I had to do,” she muttered defensively. “I don’t want to live a lie---”
“Alyx.” Nathan moved forward to meet her halfway, deliberately cutting Rima off.
Alyx smiled up at him. “Hey.” But her voice was hesitant. “Your stepmother said it was okay for me to wait for you here.” So is it?
“Of course.” He barely managed to keep his tone steady. At that moment, all he could feel was the pain of relief, knowing that Alyx hadn’t yet realized the truth between him and his stepmother.
He watched her turn to Rima, and her eyes widened. “I…” She stopped speaking, bemusement flickering in her gaze as she took on the older woman’s face, the trail of freshly dried tears still visible on her cheeks.
“We had an argument,” Nathan said stiffly. “I’m sorry you have to witness this.” He dealt his stepmother a hard look, l
etting her know that he was more than ready to excise her from his life permanently if she so much as uttered the wrong word in Alyx’s presence.
Rima’s lips tightened.
He grasped Alyx’s hand tightly in his. “Let’s go.”
“But…”
He practically forced her towards the door, every damn cell in his brain telling him he had to get Alyx out of there as soon as possible. “I’ll talk to my stepmother later.” He forced himself to smile down at her. “What’s important is that we get to talk and spend some time together.” His grip tightened. Please, Alyx.
She fell silent and slowly nodded.
When they were inside his limousine, he prepared himself for a barrage of questions, knowing how curious Alyx was. But instead, she only snuggled closer to him, laying her head on his chest.
Ah.
He hesitated, his hand clenching, a part of him questioning his right to touch her.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Ah.
And his heart constricted so damn hard that he knew a part of him loved her, had always loved her from the very start.
But he also knew he owed it to her to say the words back only when he was whole.
And he wasn’t there yet.
But he would be, he thought fiercely. He would do everything to make himself deserving of her. Everything.
“Wait for me,” he said rawly.
She didn’t answer.
When he rested his hand on her hair, he wasn’t surprised to find his hand shaking.
“Please wait for me, sweetheart.” And when I’m whole, I’ll give you all the words in my heart.
But she still didn’t answer.
He told himself to give her time and space because it was what she deserved. But the moment the limousine reached her apartment, he knew---
He couldn’t let her go just like that.
When she started to pull away, his arms tightened around her. “No.” His voice was rough. “Not until you promise me you’ll wait.” He knew he was being selfish, but he also goddamn knew he was doing this for both of them.
“Alyx…” When she still didn’t answer, he forced her to look at him.
And that was when he saw---
“Alyx.” Her name was a desperate plea for forgiveness.
“You didn’t mean to hurt me.” Her smile shone past her tears. “I know that.”
Ah God.
He had promised – he had goddamn promised to keep her from breaking, so why the hell had it come to this?
“I don’t think you’re meant to love me,” she whispered.
Nathan whitened. “No, sweetheart. No---”
“I was in your arms, Nathan,” she said brokenly. “I was in your arms the whole time, and you didn’t know I was hurting. You d-didn’t know the way Nik never knew he was killing me.”
“No. No, dammit. It’s not the same.” He looked at her doggedly, willing Alyx to believe him. “Let me explain---”
“Things like this don’t have to be explained. You just…you just feel things, and---” Her voice caught. “You just know.” And then she tore away from him, making it out of the car.
She was fast, and she had taken him by surprise, but it only bought her seconds of freedom.
He recovered fast, and he went after her, his fingers grasping Alyx’s wrist before she could get past her front door.
He whirled her around, and it hurt – it goddamn hurt – to see the tears that hadn’t stopped falling on her face.
“I know,” he grated out, “I know how bad it looks.”
People started gathering around them, drawn to the spectacle they were making of themselves in broad daylight.
Nathan knew he should give a damn---
They were airing their dirty laundry in the most fucking public way, exposing their imperfections, destroying each other’s masks---
But he didn’t.
“I need you to believe me. It’s not what you think. I’m going back only to end things for good.” His hands went up to grip her shoulders hard. “Do you hear me, sweetheart? It’s over between us, and more than anyone else, I owe it to you – to you, Alyx – to end it so there’s no room for doubt.”
And when she didn’t answer, he couldn’t help shaking her. “I need you to wait for me.” His voice was tight. “I need you to keep loving me---”
A hoarse little cry escaped her, and then she was shoving him away.
“How could you ask me that?”
“Alyx, it’s not---”
“How dare you – how dare you fucking ask me that?” She was screaming and weeping, shoving him back every time he tried getting close.
“Because I don’t love her,” he said savagely.
“Liar!” She slapped his face.
“Liar.” And she crashed to her knees, breaking both their hearts into pieces.
No. Nathan reached out to her, but she flung his hands away.
“Just leave me.” She whispered the words to him, her head bowed, her body shaking. “Just go to her and leave me.”
“Not like this---”
“Please,” she half-gasped, half-sobbed. “Please. Please just leave.”
“Alyx.” His voice broke.
“Please…I’m begging you. Please let me do what I should have done from the start.” And she raised her eyes to his. “Please let me find the strength to bear the pain on my own.”
Ah.
“Okay, sweetheart.”
And for some reason the mild, hoarse tone of his voice had her shoulders shaking with wracking sobs.
“Okay.” He swallowed hard. “If it’s what you need me to do now, then it’s what I’ll do.” And so Nathan slowly forced himself to get back on his feet.
He had always known they were kindred souls, and they were.
Only he had been wrong about the reason.
He had thought pain was what bound them together, but now he knew better.
It was love.
Their fates were intertwined because of love, and he knew that now. He knew, and he just hoped he wasn’t too goddamn late.
“But don’t you goddamn think I’m not coming back.”
And so he left her.
Time that could only be defined by the strength of her pain went on to pass, and finally she found the strength that everyone thought she had to get herself to stand.
She swayed a little on the first second, and when she looked up, she was, for a moment, nearly blinded by the sun. But in the next moment, pain eclipsed its brightness, and the pain was so familiar it was almost bittersweet.
The warmth of the day sought to envelope her, but she remained chilled, unable to escape the storm.
I loved him. I loved him. I loved him, and I thought maybe this time he could be mine.
And the tears went on to flow, rain from the storm that she knew would come but had been powerless to stop.
Alyx And Nathan
The Gray Knight had a scarred face, and his armor old and rusty. He was nothing like he was supposed to be, and the lady didn’t understand how it could be so.
“Are you disappointed I’m imperfect?” the knight asked softly.
But the lady had no Answer to give him.
He smiled gently. “Take your time, milady. Search the world for an Answer, and come back to me when you do.”
The Gray Knight pulled his sword, and he went down on one knee. “If you don’t want to wait for me…” He laid his sword at her feet. “Then I shall be the one to wait for you.”
~ The Lady and the Green Knight, Volume II
#relationshipgoals
For over two weeks now, it had maintained its lead over all other trending hashtags, ever since it was propelled to the top by a fan’s photo of Nathan Callis running after his ex-girlfriend at Miami International Airport. The photo had been wittily captioned, That moment when someone loves you enough to run after you, knowing the whole world’s waiting for you to fall---
It had become viral in
mere minutes, liked and retweeted millions of times over. Nathan and Alyx had always been a subject of interest to the public, but more so when a so-called friend of Rima had spilled the beans to a tabloid. The exposé had gone on to share juicy details about the truth behind the picture-perfect marriage of Dr. Aetes Callis and his supermodel wife.
For so long, Aetes had hidden his homosexual desires, believing it would be a detriment to his career. He had gone as far as marrying and siring a child with Nathan’s mother, and when she passed away, he had swiftly sought a replacement in the form of Rima, ensuring that his sexuality would never be questioned.
But he had become complacent in hiding his proclivities over the years, and on the last day of their stay in Hong Kong, Rima had walked in on her husband cheating on her – with another man. Everything that she thought to be true in her life had fallen apart in that one instant, and feeling deceived, unwanted, and unattractive for the first time in her life, Rima had sought her stepson, hoping to rekindle their attraction.
All of these, Rima had shared with her friend over one wine-laden session, not knowing that the other woman was experiencing certain financial difficulties – difficulties that she knew would be quickly solved if she sold her story to a tabloid.
And so it was as if everyone’s lives had come full circle, Alyx had thought when she read the tabloid exposé, which had made things sound even more lurid by including graphic summaries of the doctor’s sexual activities.
In vino veritas.
Wine was what had made her talk to Nathan, and now the truth about Rima and Aetes’ marriage was exposed in the same way.
But it didn’t mean everything was fine…even if Nathan was acting like it should be that simple.
More than two weeks ago, Alyx had done what might possibly be the most irresponsible thing she had ever done in her life. She had withdrawn half of her life savings in cash, using it to pay for a trip around the world without leaving any kind of paper trail. She knew how billionaires operated, after all. They had countless minions doing their dirty work, and she knew if she used her credit card just once or logged in to any of her social media accounts, he would know where she was.