by Raven Stone
“I’m not a wolf,” I protested.
But each small caress of his thumb sent a wave of relaxation through me. I felt boneless.
The next thing I knew, I was melting under that touch, and both of us had drifted to the floor. Jamie pulled me into his lap, his thumb still caressing circles into the nape of my neck.
It was one of the most comforting things I’d ever felt.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Calming you down,” he said. “Is it working?”
“Yes, damn you,” I replied. He really was annoying. “And you smell.”
He gave a soft laugh. “What do I smell like?”
“Like a dog covered in pine needles.”
He laughed again.
“I’m not fucking you, you know.” I told him.
“Good,” he said. “I’m not fucking you either.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Are you seriously not used to men being nice to you?”
I stiffened, and he noticed. His other arm went around my shoulder, and the circles increased.
“You’re not,” he said softly.
I focused on breathing around the sudden knot in my throat, unconcerned about answering him.
“So what happened last night?” he asked again.
“This again?”
“This again,” he said firmly.
I sighed. “Fine. That last house brought a bad memory back, that’s all.”
“A bad memory?”
“Yes. A bad memory from when I was a kid. I don’t want to talk about it!” My whole body stiffened, and then I surged upwards.
Jamie caught me.
He let go of my neck, and wrapped his arms around me instead. He brought me slowly back down to his lap.
“Shh,” he said softly. “I’m going to tell you something now, one of my bad memories, and I want you to just listen, okay? Then I’ll let you go, if you want.”
My stomach was tight with tension.
But.
Jamie had been there for me last night. If he wanted to tell me something bad that happened to him, I should return the favor and listen to him.
I turned and curled into him. Jamie tucked me into his chest, his fingers slipping into my hair. His warm body cradled me, while the scent of pine and earth surrounded me.
It wasn’t comforting.
At all.
I was just doing him a favor.
“I never knew my biological father,” Jamie said quietly. “He left a few months after I turned one. Then my mom died of cancer when I was seventeen.” His fingers stroked my hair. “When I turned nineteen, I said fuck it, and I decided to backpack across the world, starting with Ireland. Because of my red hair, you know? Thought it might be nice to see other redheads.” He gave a small laugh.
“When I was there,” he continued, “a werewolf attacked me. He changed me, and left me all alone, the fucker.” He put a finger under my chin, and raised my gaze to his. “Do you know what it’s like to be all alone in the world? When you’re absolutely terrified and you don’t know what to do?”
I stared into his golden eyes. The lump in my throat was so large that I couldn’t speak, so I nodded instead.
“I thought you did,” he said. “That’s what I was going through, that’s what I was feeling, when Garr found me. And I’ve never been alone again.”
His arms released me, but I no longer wanted to go.
I forced myself to sit up anyway. I felt the weight of those golden eyes on me.
Then a warm hand wrapped around the back of my neck, and Jamie guided me right back to his chest.
Right where I wanted to be.
A small noise made it out of me, before I could stop it, because I felt like something was breaking inside of me.
Damn him.
Jamie’s fingers slipped into my hair again. They were so gentle.
“Those bad memories don’t own you, Nadia. They don’t define the rest of your life.”
“I know that.”
“I don’t think you do. In fact, I think you’re still living like you’re all alone,” he said.
“No, I’m not.” I set my jaw.
“Yes, you are. You said you don’t do boyfriends. Oleg’s obviously a dickhead, and you rightly don’t trust him. Honeygirl seems like your friend, but you keep her at arm’s length. You’re not close to anyone. You’re still alone, you’re just in a nicer house,” he said.
“So the fuck what? Maybe I like it this way,” I said.
“No, you don’t. I sure didn’t,” he replied.
“Maybe I’m not like you.”
He glanced down at me, giving me a soft look. “God, Nadia, yes, you are. You’re just like I was when Garr found me. Hurt, scared, and alone.”
That did it.
I slipped out of his embrace and stood up.
“No, I’m not!” My hand formed a fist, and my voice was damn near shaking. “I am free, I am strong, and I have money of my own. I’m fine! I’m good!”
And my eyes were blurry.
Dammit, I would not cry again.
The ginger’s arms went around me again.
He pulled me into his chest. He smelled of wolf, and pine, and earth, and goddammit why did that have to smell so good? Why did his arms around me, his gentle hug, feel as good as Degarr’s, just in a different way?
That thing inside of me cracked again.
I wrapped my arms around Jamie and leaned into him.
“I’m fine,” I stubbornly sniffed into his shoulder.
His hand stroked my hair.
“You’re tough, and you’re strong,” he said. “You’ve proven you can survive on your own. Hell, by the looks of this place, you did a thousand times better than I ever did on my own. You’ve succeeded.” His voice dropped. “Isn’t it time to have friends and loved ones? A pack?”
I swallowed.
“Are you inviting me to join your pack, wolf?” I asked.
“I think I am,” he said softly. “It’s your decision, and Garr’s of course, as to what happens between you two. But I’d like you and me to be friends. Okay?”
I pulled back, so I could see his face.
God, he was serious.
“Okay,” I said softly.
And that thing in me?
It split wide open.
Chapter 39
Degarr – Chicago
I woke up alone in a strange bed.
That wasn’t so much of a surprise. I was used to that. But I could tell Jamie wasn’t here, and Nadia was. I pulled on some clothes and went out to the living room. Nadia was curled up on the couch, wearing a black dress that hugged her curves, with a tablet in her lap.
“Where’s Jamie?” I asked.
She jumped, and glared at me.
“What?”
“It’s not nice to sneak up on people like that,” she admonished.
“Sorry. I’m not used to humans.”
She frowned at me. “We’re your food. How can you not be used to us?”
I shrugged. “Where’s Jamie?”
Nadia put the tablet down. “He thought we could use some alone time.” She rose from the couch with her back to me.
“He did?” I asked.
Then I noticed her hand had gone to the top of her dress. Just a tug here, and a tug there, and it fell to the floor. She turned to face me, wearing only a black bra and a tiny pair of black panties.
My throat went dry.
“Yes,” she said.
“We should talk,” I forced out, “about last night, and about my complicated life.” My voice trailed off as she unsnapped her bra and threw it to the floor.
Her nipples were pink and pebbled, begging for my tongue.
“Later.” Her thumbs hooked into her panties. “We’ll be responsible later. For now,” she slid the small scrap of black cloth down her legs, “I’d like you to make me feel good.” She stood up, dangling the panties from her fingers. “Can you
do that for me, Degarr?”
She let the panties fall.
I reached her before they hit the floor.
“Do you feel better?” I murmured into her hair.
She was tucked into my side, both of our bodies slick with sweat. She threw her leg over mine.
“Much.”
I curled into her. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night?”
She stared up at me, her eyes warm and satisfied from sex.
“Not now,” she said softly. “I know I keep putting that off, but not now, please.” Those big, warm eyes begged me.
I brushed her lips with mine. “Fine. But there are other things we should talk about. Things I should definitely mention before we have sex again.” My hand went to her hip of its own accord.
Her gaze heated. “Then talk quickly. As far as I’m concerned, this is just a breather.”
I laughed. “You say that now.” I trailed my fingers up and down her thigh, and her hip. She was soft beneath my fingers. I let my gaze travel her body, and then to her eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be monogamous with you. Ever.”
Her lips twitched, before giving into a full smile.
“I’m being serious,” I said.
“I know, and it’s adorable.” Her thumb traced my jawline.
“I’m not adorable,” I retorted.
“Yes, you are, baby.” Her eyes lit up. “And you’re so wonderfully serious and caring about all of this, and I appreciate that. I do. I understand this is a big deal for you, but I told you I don’t normally do boyfriends. How do you think my sex life is possible, if I demand monogamy on top of that?”
“I hadn’t thought of that,” I admitted.
“I know,” she said, stretching to kiss me. “See, you’re adorable.”
“I’m not.” I frowned again. “You’re fine with me feeding from others? Fucking them?”
“Yes to both. I don’t get jealous.” She shrugged, and grabbed my hand.
“How would you know?” I asked. I lost the thread, though, as she stuck my fingers in her mouth, swirling her tongue around them. She pulled my fingers out and the thought came back. “Since you don’t have boyfriends?”
“I’ve had a few threesomes, with some of the ones who came closest to being boyfriends.”
My dick twitched at the word ‘threesomes’, and she noticed. She smiled, and moved my hand lower.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She opened her legs and guided one of my fingers right into her, gasping as I took over.
“This turns you on?” I asked.
“We’re talking about sex. Of course it turns me on,” she said breathlessly. I crooked my finger, and she gasped. “Yes, like that.”
She was wet and already ready for me again.
“I’m sorry, baby, what were we saying again?”
“We were talking about you and threesomes, and having sex with other people,” I replied.
“No.” Her eyes drifted shut. “You. You having sex with other people.”
I slipped another finger into her, and she clenched around me. “Does that turn you on? The thought of me with other people?”
I turned on my side, watching her completely give in to what I was doing, and what she was feeling. She was spread naked before me, shamelessly writhing on my fingers, without a care in the world. In some ways, she was so free.
So beautiful.
“Yes,” she said breathlessly. “The thought of you fucking anybody with that sexy, powerful body of yours turns me on.”
I laughed softly, and whispered into her ear. “Even if it’s another man? Tell me, Nadia, what do you think about me feeding from or fucking another man?”
Her eyes shot open, and her body clenched around my fingers.
Hard.
Oh.
Heated eyes bore into mine, and she bit her lip.
“What man?” she asked breathlessly, her hand drifting to her breast. “Tell me, baby, what man do you want to fuck?”
“I’ve already fucked him.” I told her.
Her body squeezed around my fingers, making them even wetter. I was hard again, her excitement sparking my own.
Her hand went to my thigh. “Describe him.”
God.
This was dirty and wrong, talking about one lover to another like this.
But it was sending ripples of pleasure straight to my dick.
So dirty, so wrong, her nipples so hard they could cut glass. I dragged my tongue across one and she moaned.
“He has dark brown eyes that look black in the right light, and short, dark brown hair. He has a narrower build than me, and he’s lean. He’s confident, bordering on arrogant, and charming. He’s also one of the best men I’ve ever known,” I said.
“You love him.” She stared up at me with soft eyes.
It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, but I found myself answering her like it had been a question.
“Yes,” I said, brushing her lips with my own.
Her hand gripped my wrist, and I let my fingers go still, waiting for her to pull them out of her. What I’d said was the truth, and I wasn’t going to take it back, but I fully understood if she wanted to stop here.
“Degarr?”
“Yes?”
Her thighs widened, and she pushed my fingers deeper into her. “Does he fuck you? Or do you fuck him?”
Holy fuck.
“That’s the part you care about?”
She laughed softly, her hand trailing up my thigh, pushing her body down onto my fingers. “I’m glad you love him. That’s sweet. Really. But what I want to know,” her fingers brushed the tip of my dick, “is who fucks who?”
Brazen eyes met mine.
Holy fuck, this woman was going to be the death of me.
“Come on. You don’t really think he’d care, do you?”
“No.” The word was torn from me. It was true. I knew Gabriel wouldn’t mind. About any of what we were doing.
Her fingertips swirled around my tip, spreading the pre-cum that had collected there. “In fact, I think just talking about it turns you on.”
God, it did. That surprised me, although it shouldn’t. Just the thought, the memory, of fucking Gabriel sent ribbons of pleasure up and down my spine.
“It does.” I admitted.
She licked her lips. “Then tell me.”
I leaned down.
I slipped another finger into her and curved it upwards, stroking that special spot inside her body.
“Both,” I whispered into her ear. “We both fuck each other.”
She cried out, her body clenching around my fingers as her orgasm hit her.
When she came back to herself, her hand fell away from my wrist, and she looked up at me with warm, satisfied eyes.
“Is he a human or a vampire?” she asked.
“Vampire.”
“Hmm,” she said, resting her hand on her stomach. “Is there anyone else I should know about? A human or a vampire?”
“One more,” I said. “Another vampire. A woman.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Will she try to scratch my eyes out?”
I laughed. “No, Orleande doesn’t get jealous of me. She just asks that I love her.”
“And do you?”
“Yes,” I said, although that was a mild way of putting it.
Nadia ran a hand up my arm. “And what does she think of your male lover?”
“Him as a person or him being with me?”
She smiled. “Him being with you, silly.”
“Hmm.” I sat up, realizing I’d never talked about it with Orleande. I’d come back from Houston, and everything had settled into place. Had Gabriel and Orleande talked about that, while I was gone?
“We’ve never talked about it,” I said finally. “Everything just sorted itself out.”
“Is that how it usually works with vampires?”
“Sometimes,” I said.
Sometimes it did work out
as smoothly as it had gone with Gabriel, Orleande, and I. Other times it went very badly, like with Gabriel and his ex-Consort, Elodie.
“Sometimes not.” I sat back against the headboard.
Nadia sat up too, following me. She didn’t grab the bedsheet. She didn’t try to cover her body at all.
I reached out and pinched a nipple. She smiled, before lightly slapping my hand away.
“We’re having a responsible conversation, remember? Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“That’s mostly it.” I shrugged. “You already know I lead a dangerous life. Sometimes I travel the country, dealing with situations like this. The rest of the time I’m back home, living with them.”
“And Jamie too, right?”
I nodded.
She rested her head against the headboard. “You do have a complicated life.”
“Does it scare you? Bother you?” I asked.
Her eyes trailed over my face. “No.”
We were both quiet for a moment, then I put my arm around her. She nestled into my side.
“I have a very uncomplicated life,” she said, gesturing to the condo. “Does that scare you off?”
I smiled and kissed her head. “No. Should it?”
She sighed. “Maybe?”
Chapter 40
Nadia – Chicago
The front door opened and slammed shut.
“I’m in the house,” Jamie called out. “Get dressed and start your night, you lazy bastards.”
Degarr laughed, even as he got out of bed and pulled on his jeans. He tossed me a robe and I slipped it on before following him into the living room.
The ginger eyed us both. “You get everything worked out?”
I nodded.
He shot a look at the other man. “You tell her everything?”
Degarr’s lips twitched. “Yes.”
“You tell her you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend?”
“Yes,” Degarr replied, reaching over and tousling Jamie’s hair, “you pain in the ass.”
“You love me,” the ginger said, slipping away from Degarr with a grin. “And get off me, you reek of sex.”
Degarr laughed. “I should probably take a shower.”
“There’s a guest bedroom with a shower on the other side of the living room. You take that one, and I’ll take the one in my bedroom,” I said.