Lincoln
Wilder’s sprawling city estate came into view. I thanked God that my wife was beside me again. After almost two days in the hospital, she’d been released into my care. I had hoped my declaration of love would sway her. But the damage I’d caused was too great. A simple apology and declaration wouldn’t cut it. I’d known they might not.
I opened her door and took her hand. She didn’t withdraw from my touch, but she held herself aloof. The bubbly, sparkly Gemma was gone. Maybe that had been a mask she’d worn. Maybe Saemira was a quiet, more sullen character. If so, I would love her just as much as I’d loved the vivacious Gemma Stone.
I led her up to the wing the Wilder’s had graciously given us to use for the next couple months. Opening the door to our suite, I gestured for Gemma to enter. I stayed at the door to watch her reaction.
“Mommy!” Altin jumped off the bed where Miss Tina had been sitting with him.
Gemma, or Saemira—it was hard to think of her by her new name—picked him up and started bawling.
“Mommy sad?” her brother said.
She pecked his cheek. “No, silly. I’m super happy.” She caught my gaze and mouthed Thank you.
I nodded, hoping this would ease her pain. I felt terrible for the stress and anxiety my petty rage had caused her.
She kept hugging Altin until he squirmed out of her grip. She let him go, but only for a second before she caught him up again and kissed his cute face a few more times.
“Stop kissing me,” he said with a laugh.
“Silly boy,” I said. “I’d never say that.”
“You did say that,” she snapped. “By locking me in that house.”
Ouch. I glanced at Tina, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here with us. “You may leave for the night,” I told her.
Once she left the room, I turned to Gemma. “I was confused. I’m sorry. But why didn’t you tell me who you were before the wedding? I would’ve understood.”
“Would you?” she asked.
Probably not. No matter when she would’ve told me, I would’ve felt betrayed. Angeline had made a habit out of lying, but I had believed that Gemma was forthright and honest. To know she hadn’t been for all the months I’d known her bothered me.
I picked up Altin and nuzzled his cheek. Right now, I needed to drop this line of arguing. It wouldn’t help matters between us. “Want to show Gemma another surprise?” I asked her brother.
She scowled. Honestly, her scowls gave me hope. They showed my wife’s spunk, which I preferred over that docile, lethargic creature who’d scared me to death in the hospital.
I held out my hand. “Come on. I promise you’ll like it.”
She rolled her eyes and ignored my hand. We walked into the hall, Altin squirming in my arms. I opened the second door from the end, and my wife started crying again as Angel took her up in his arms.
“Angel!” She ran her hands through his hair, making me frown.
He peeked over her shoulder and stepped back when he saw me.
Saemira turned and glared at me. “Leave us.”
I opened my mouth to argue but slumped and walked out without closing the door. She was right. I had no right to witness their reunion when I’d been the arrogant fool who had torn them apart.
55
Saemira
Part of me felt bad for being so cold to Lincoln. But the only thing that mattered was keeping him safe. And to do that, I must put distance between us.
“Oh, Angel, you’re free.” I hugged my friend again.
“Yeah.” He cupped my face. “I’m so glad you’re safe. Can you ever forgive me for what happened? I feel terrible.”
“You’re forgiven.”
He brushed my cheeks. “Your husband,” he gulped, “said Duke’s been blackmailing you. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken you and Altin far away if I’d known.”
“He said he’d kill you and take Altin away if I told. I didn’t dare say anything. I wanted to protect you both.”
He pecked my cheek. “And I wanted to protect you. That’s the only reason I kept working for him.”
“This is all my fault. You would’ve graduated from college if I hadn’t begged for your help. I should’ve stayed in foster care. Altin, too. The Barber’s didn’t care for me, but they didn’t harm me either. And I think the people who had Altin truly loved him.”
“Shhh.” He caressed my head. “You talk too much. I don’t regret my time with you. I only regret getting involved with Duke. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“You’d better, or I’ll beat you up,” I said.
He laughed. “Ah, Gemma. How I love you.”
Lincoln cleared his throat behind us. He still held my brother and must’ve slipped back in while we’d been talking.
Angel flinched and released me.
Lincoln pulled me to his side. “Don’t touch my wife again.”
“Y-yes, sir,” Angel stammered.
I shoved Lincoln and walked back to my friend. “Don’t get all jealous. Angel and I are just friends. We have been since I was seven. He’s like a brother to me.” Angel pouted, making me huff. “Don’t give me that look. You are my big brother. I love you, but not like I love my husband.”
Lincoln’s eyebrows shot up. “You love me?”
I held out my hands for my brother. “I never stopped loving you, rammit. But I don’t know if I’ve forgiven you. I’m still incredibly angry.”
He handed Altin over and gave me a curt nod. “As you should be.” He touched my arm. “So you know, even when I had you under guard and thought you had betrayed me, I never stopped loving you either. It took every speck of willpower I possessed not to take you in my arms and kiss you when I visited you that day before I went to see Angel in jail.”
I buried my head in my brother’s shoulder.
Lincoln wrapped his arms around us both. “I’ll regret my actions these past few days for the rest of my life. I truly am sorry, Gemma.” He winced. “I mean Saemira—lamb-it.”
I giggled, and he grinned.
“I’m still here,” Angel muttered behind us. “And she’s used to either name, so don’t sweat it. I called her Gem for years.”
Lincoln pulled back. “Which name do you prefer me to call you, love?”
My body warmed at his endearment. “Saemira.” I rubbed his prickly jaw. “Baba said it meant so good. He said I embodied all that was good to him and Mama.” And I wanted so badly to be good again.
“Saemira.” He pulled me closer. “You definitely embody all that is good to me.” He nuzzled my cheek as Altin giggled between us. “So good.”
A lump formed in my throat as I pulled back to look at him. “I love you,” I said. I forgive you was implied.
He smiled—that dazzling Lincoln smile that made me feel as if everything was right with the world. “I love you, too. And I’m going to prove that for the rest of your life.”
I smiled, but my heart ached, knowing I couldn’t stick around long enough for him to prove anything.
“There’s one more surprise.” Lincoln pulled me toward the stairs.
“What else can there be?” Altin and Angel were all I needed. My heart was full and happy for the moment.
“You’ll see.”
We made our way downstairs, where I heard a voice that made my heart jump with joy.
“Gramps!” I said, as he and Alex came into view.
“Gemma!” Gramps’s smile lit up the kitchen. Only a few days had passed since he’d walked me down the aisle, but it felt like years.
Lincoln took Altin from me so I could hug the sweet man.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said. Lincoln took Altin over to some toys Mrs. Wilder had brought in for him.
“He’s moving in,” Alex said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “This place is big enough, and I thought the more the merrier.”
I hugged Gramps again, getting choked up. I’d known him for such a shor
t time, but I already adored him and knew his death would leave a hole in my heart.
“Now, now,” Gramps said, tipping my chin, “what’s that sad face for?” He tugged me away from the others and gestured for me to get comfortable on the couch. “What’s troubling you, my dear?”
I blinked to get control of my emotions. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s everything. Tell me. I’ll keep your secret safe.”
Sadly, he knew none of my secrets. Wilder and Gramps still needed to be told, but I worried about their reactions. Lincoln had been utterly shocked at my revelation. I didn’t want to cause these old men—especially Gramps with his brain tumor—physical distress. I’d have to discuss this with Lincoln. Maybe we wouldn’t tell them anything. Did it matter who they thought I was? I was still the same person, whether they called me Gemma or Saemira.
“It’s just when I think about losing you, I want to cry. I’m sick of losing everybody I love. My mom. My dad. You soon. What if I lose Lincoln, too?” Which I would when I left him. “It will break my heart.”
“Ah, sweet Gemma. Love always comes with risk. When I lost my Hazel, I didn’t want to go on. But one day, I woke up and realized I hadn’t really lost her. Sure, she wasn’t there with me, but she was here.” He touched his heart. “And here.” He touched his head. “She lives on in the way my grandson looks at the world through that curious lens of learning, in the way he gestures to people, in his eyes. I see my Hazel in the matching shoes other ladies wear, in perfumes I smell, in a certain lilt to words. When I leave this life, remember how much I love you and know that I prayed you into my grandson’s life to rescue his battered heart.” He patted my hand and gave me a tender look. “Death isn’t the end, sweetheart. Even if you don’t buy into an afterlife, the memories of our loved ones are always with us. In that way, we’re all immortal.”
“You’re wise, like my baba.”
“Ah, he lives on in me.” He smiled. “Don’t worry about losing Lincoln. That boy is yours completely. I’ve never seen him so happy. Savor each day you have together.”
I blinked back sudden tears, wanting to heed his advice and savor each moment with Lincoln as if it was our last.
Because soon, it would be.
56
Lincoln
Watching my wife brush her teeth and get ready for bed was sweet torture. I longed to take her in my arms and pick up where we’d left off on our wedding night, before I’d jumped to the absolute worst conclusion about her and ruined everything. But I could tell by the way she avoided my eyes in the mirror that my desire wouldn’t be sated tonight. I’d lost too much ground and would have to carefully build back trust.
I followed her into the bedroom and tugged my shirt off. “Do you want me on the floor?” I asked.
She chewed her tempting lips and looked at the bed, then me, then the bed again. “I don’t know.”
“I know I’ve lost my right to...” I trailed off.
“Sex?” she finished for me.
I nodded, my traitorous body gearing up for action, even as I told it that nothing was happening. “I promise not to push you. I know I have to—”
She threw herself into my arms, surprising me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about who I really was. I wanted to. I should’ve done it before the ceremony. But I was so scared you would hate me, that you’d reject Altin, and I wanted him to be cared for if I had to disappear to keep you both safe.”
I nuzzled her soft neck, hating the thought of the terror she’d lived with for so long. “I’m sorry I proved your fears right. I’m a stupid fool. Please forgive me.”
Her tears wet my cheeks, and I leaned back to wipe them away.
“Gramps told me to savor each day with you,” she said. “But I’m still so scared. With Duke free, I fear you’ll always be in danger because of me. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.”
Her words hit me like ice water in the heat of summer. “You were going to leave me that night, weren’t you?” Her downcast eyes told me I was right. “You weren’t running from the police, you were running from me. You tried to slip out of the closet.” I raised her chin. “You’re still planning to run, aren’t you?”
Her chin jutted out defiantly. “If that’s what it takes to keep you and my brother safe, then yes.” Her lips quivered. “You still don’t know everything. I kidnapped Altin from his foster family. I’m not a good person.”
“Saemira.” I cradled her face in my hands. “You are all that is good. And if you think that leaving me would ensure my safety, think again. I’d find you, no matter the danger involved.” I kissed her nose. “What you did with your brother was a desperate, misguided move stemming from youth and love. You had no other motive. I’m sorry I thought you ever could. You’re not a criminal. You’re Altin’s hero. And mine.”
“But Duke’s still a threat.”
“Yes. But we’ll face him together. You married me for better or for worse, not for better and for splitting up to keep me safe.”
Her brows furrowed. “Are we even truly married since I was dishonest?”
I kissed her worry lines. “I married Gemma Stone legally. But we’ll talk to my attorney about whether I need to marry Saemira Nikolla. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind marrying you again. The first time was a lot of fun.” I waggled my brows.
She snuggled into me. “It was fun, wasn’t it?”
I closed my eyes, savoring her delicate body in my arms.
“Lincoln?” I heard the hesitancy in her voice.
I raised my head to gaze at my beautiful wife. “Yes?” Would she tell me to get another room? I knew I deserved worse.
“Gemma wants to make love to her husband.”
“Really.” I wanted to scoop her into my arms and run to our bed. But I exercised restraint. “You don’t have to do that. What does Saemira want? We can take things slow, until you’re both certain. I know—”
Her lips crashed into mine. “Oh, shut up and love me, you fool.”
I swept her up into my arms, not needing to be told twice.
57
Saemira
Lincoln scooped me into his arms, and it felt like coming home. We’d only spent part of a night together as newlyweds, and even then, I’d held myself back, believing I would have to leave him.
But he’d set my heart at ease on that matter. I couldn’t leave him now. He wouldn’t let me. He loved me. Accepted me. He would suffer with me, if it came to that.
“I don’t want us to ever end,” he said, slipping the nightshirt off my shoulder. “You hold my heart, love. Don’t ever think of running away with it.”
I explored the muscles on his chest, and he pulled me into a tidal wave of desire that I couldn’t have escaped no matter how hard I tried. Lincoln took me to heaven and back, a seamless union that made me see stars. Our wedding night had been bliss, but tonight, there was an intensity and purpose to his touches and kisses that awakened a dormant and wonderful hunger inside me. Our loving involved searching, exploring, and more importantly, forgiving and healing.
I drifted off to sleep in his arms and awakened when the morning sun filtered through the large window. He stroked my belly, making my body hum.
“Was last night real?” I murmured.
“It was to me.” He kissed me.
I snuggled into his warm body. “What are we going to tell Gramps and Alex?”
“Let’s not worry about that for now. I’ll have my attorney look into your case, figure out how to get guardianship of Altin. Wipe your slate clean if there’s anything messy on it. He’ll look into whether we need to redo our wedding vows, too. Once we know those details, we’ll proceed.”
He started kissing my neck, and I got lost in his love once again. But doubts niggled at the back of my mind. If we were still keeping secrets, that meant our union wasn’t as all-the-way real as I wished.
Would it ever be?
Officer Tayne showed up two days later, throwing a monkey
wrench into our happiness. I’d let myself forget about real life as I’d savored time with my husband, brother, best friend, Gramps, and the Wilders. Lucy had dropped in to spoil me, and Ethel had introduced us to her craft room. She’d invited me to use the room and supplies as much as I’d wanted. It wasn’t a science lab, but it was something to dither my time away on when Lincoln was busy with work duties.
Seeing Officer Tayne brought me crashing back to painful reality. Lincoln tried to shield me from the detective, leading him and Angel into the study and starting to shut the door, but I refused to be left out.
“Hey, don’t forget about me.”
“Or me.” Gramps joined us.
Lincoln stepped out and took hold of my arm. “You don’t need to be present, love. It’ll just stir up bad memories.”
True. But if he and Angel could hear what the detective had to say, so could I. “I was there, too. I need to know what’s being done to find Duke.”
“I’ll give you a run-down later.”
“Oh, let her in, son,” Gramps said.
Lincoln frowned, but it was two against one.
“Thanks,” I whispered to Gramps as we followed my disgruntled husband into the room.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Mrs. McConnell.” Officer Tayne walked over to shake my hand. “Thanks for joining us. I was hoping to talk to you.”
I gave Lincoln a little smirk, and he rolled his eyes.
“Have you had any luck finding the men who started the fire?” I asked.
“No, ma’am. Not yet. There were no prints or clues to tie any of them to the crime scene.”
“But Angel could identify them.” I glanced at my friend. “His testimony would stand up in court, wouldn’t it?”
“If we can apprehend the culprits, then yes, his testimony will be crucial.”
We took our seats, and Angel chewed his lips as Tayne began to interrogate him. I listened in horror as he revealed all he knew about Duke’s organization.
Of Stone and Sky Page 26