He eyed the table, watched as Reese’s head fell back in laughter at whatever Erin was demonstrating with her hands. As though she’d sensed him looking, she glanced his way. All she had to do was fucking smile at him and his world tilted, righted itself in a way that should have him running in the other direction.
So why wasn’t he?
He shook his head. God. First Clay, now Gavin. Damn his brothers and their blasted advice. He didn’t want to think about this shit. He just wanted to enjoy what was left of the evening.
“She won’t quit. No matter what happens between her and I—which is, in fact, none of your business—I won’t lie to her. She knows where I stand.”
Gavin frowned. “And where is that, exactly?”
Pax ran a rough hand through his hair. Gavin had spent the last ten years working in London. Since he’d moved home a few months ago, Gavin had become increasingly meddlesome. As much as Pax loved having his oldest brother around, he could do with a little less interference. “I told her I didn’t have anything to offer her.”
“You believe that?”
Pax blinked.
Did he? A week ago he’d been damn sure about his resolve to live out his life a bachelor. His conversation with Clay had left him conflicted. It hadn’t set well, nor had the fact that his nosey brother had skirted around whatever it was he wanted to say.
“What’s all this cross-examination really about?”
Gavin studied him. They had the same black hair, same strong jaw, but Gavin’s blue eyes—so unlike his own dark ones—shone with concern. “I’m worried about you. It’s time you moved on, Pax. Before the anger eats you alive.”
“Do I look angry to you?” Because at the moment, he only felt slightly annoyed at the prolonged hen party his brother was hosting.
Apparently ready to try another tactic, Gavin clapped him on the shoulder. “You and Reese were good once, right?”
“We were friends, not to mention just kids. Things are different now.” A whole mess of different. The lust she provoked, he hadn’t been capable of in his youth. The intensity of their first time together hadn’t held a candle to the other night.
“As they should be when people grow up.”
Pax reached for the pitchers, careful not to spill beer all over his boots. “As riveting as this conversation has become, your lovely bride-to-be looks lonely. I think I’ll wander over and see if she wants to dance.”
Gavin glanced at the table and a smirk split his face. “I’d say I’d return the favor and dance with Reese,” he jerked his chin. “But it looks like someone’s beat me to the punch.”
Beer decorated his shirt and pant legs as Pax whirled in time to see Reese offer her hand to a dude wearing a designer hat and jeans tight enough to guarantee sterility.
City boy playing cowboy.
Pax cursed and placed the pitchers back on the bar, shaking the liquid from his fingers. He had no right to the sensation in his gut caused by watching another man swing Reese close. Too close.
Gavin laughed, loud and irritating. “You should see your face.” His brother picked up the pitchers Pax had abandoned and shook his head. “Friends, my ass. Words of advice: if you care about her, for christsake, get your head out of yours.”
Pax thought about what Gavin said as Reese circled the dance floor. Instinct warned against what he was about to do.
He’d wanted to explore the undeniable connection he’d felt the moment he’d laid eyes on her again. It scared him shitless, because this was Reese. The first woman to own his heart. A heart now damaged by betrayal.
It was a mistake. He should walk away before they got in any deeper. His boots had other ideas.
As the song came to an end, he pushed away from the bar. He met Reese half way back to their table, grabbed her hand, and walked her back to the dance floor.
“Guess we’re dancing, huh?”
Pax swung her around and brought her in close. He put his mouth to her ear, swaying them to a slow country tune. “Any objections?”
Her fingers toyed with the ends of his hair. “None I can think of, although your hand on my ass might tip off your family that we’re more than just friends.”
She looked away as though she hadn’t intended the implication of more.
“Let them think whatever they want. We’re consenting adults. And I’ve been thinking about you all week.”
“You have? What have you been thinking?”
He moved his hand to splay across her lower back and tightened his hold. He wanted her to feel what she did to him as he eased them around the dance floor. “About how much I’d like to get you naked again.”
Disappointment blinked across her features before she smiled. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”
He leaned back to catch her gaze and dove in, head first. “That’s not all I want.”
“You offered me pleasure, and I said yes. What more is there?”
He was such a dick. He’d made this beautiful woman think she wasn’t anything more than a sex object to him. Hell, he’d told her as much.
Life fucking sucked sometimes. He wished like hell things had been different. That he hadn’t walked away from her all those years ago. That he hadn’t married the wrong woman and forgotten how to trust.
“That’s what I want to figure out. I don’t know what I’m doing here, Reese. I haven’t felt the urge to have a woman in my life since my marriage fell apart.” Could he do it? Let go of the past and build something new? “Seeing you again, being with you … I want more. I won’t make promises I don’t know if I can keep and I don’t want to hurt you, but I want more.”
She laughed softly. “Why, Paxton Mathis. Are you asking me to go steady?”
A smile played at his lips. Pax shook his head, amazed at her ability to ease the tension. “Nothing quite so sweet, I’m afraid.” He bent and brushed his lips against hers. “Just a chance, Reese. To explore each other. To see what we could be together.”
“Just so I understand, you want us to only see each other?”
Pax shoved deep the emotions her words provoked. Jesus, was he sweating? Who knew this would be so hard? The visual of Reese, dancing in another man’s arms, propelled his vocal cords. “Yes.”
She nodded. “I’d prefer it that way as well. Since we didn’t use condoms last time, I assume you won’t want to use them in the future. You haven’t slept with anyone else this week, have you?”
“Are you kidding me?” When had this become a contract negotiation? And what the hell kind of man did she think he was?
Oh. Right. Exactly the kind of man Gavin had accused him of being. Wasn’t that a kick in the nuts?
“Not even a little. It’s important to be safe, for both of us.”
So logical, his head spun. He hadn’t considered… “Did you have sex with someone else this week?” His feet stopped moving. The man Clay had seen her with last weekend?
The thought made him want to hit something.
“Of course not. But I need to hear you say it. Give me your word that if you find someone else you want to sleep with, you’ll tell me. Or at least use a condom.”
Pax cursed. He laced their fingers and towed her from the dance floor, straight out the front door. He didn’t stop until they’d rounded the building, the darkened area giving them some semblance of privacy.
He backed her against the side of the building and crowded her space. “Let’s get one thing straight. When I say you’re the only woman I want to see, I mean it. I’m not just fucking asking to pass the time with you until someone else comes along. No other woman stands a chance next to you.”
Okay, he hadn’t meant to say that, but now that he had, he wouldn’t take it back. He spoke the damned truth.
“No games, Reese. I won’t share, you hear me? Never again.”
She shoved at his chest. “Ditto, buster.”
A low, guttural tone vibrated his chest a second before he captured her mouth with his. She gave no resistance; her tongue lashed out t
o meet his. Anger melted into lust as he tasted her, explored her mouth, taking everything she offered and demanding more.
Desperation and hunger fueled him as he cupped her breast. He cradled her, teased her nipple to a tight point with his thumb as the humid night air cocooned them.
He broke the kiss, rested his forehead against hers as he tried to find his breath. She was his, damn it. In this moment, right here, right now, she belonged to him.
He released the button on her shorts and slid the zipper south.
“Pax.” Reese’s nails dug into his biceps as he breeched her panties. “You seem to like putting your hand down my pants.”
“I’d rather use my mouth, but I’m improvising.” Warm, wet flesh met his fingers. He pressed in, curled a finger deep.
Reese went to her toes, a soft moan on her lips.
The sound went straight to his cock. “I’ve thought about this all week. Touching you. Teasing you. I’d hear your cries in my dreams, and I’d wake up hard and alone. Do you want to know what I thought about when I took myself in hand?”
He found her clit, pinched the tight bud between his thumb and forefinger.
Her breath hitched. “Tell me,” she pleaded.
Pax leaned in, kissed a path along her neck. Wildflowers mingled with arousal and he drew it in, filled his lungs until he’d memorized every facet of her unique scent. “I thought about this. You. How beautiful you are. How hot and perfect you feel when I’m inside you.” Sliding lower, he eased two fingers inside her, groaning as she squeezed him.
Her mouth was swollen from his kisses, her cheeks flushed with a desire he felt to his bones.
“We really should try this in a bed sometime.” Her hips moved in time to the thrust of his fingers.
“We’ll get to that. We’ll get to a lot of other things too. First things first.” Pax nipped at her lips. “I want to watch you come. Right here under the stars.”
“Up against the side of a bar,” she panted. Her nails dug in. His biceps were sure to bare her marks for days.
He chuckled. “I’ll make it worth your while, sweetheart. I promise.” He found her clit again. His fingers worked from memory, remembering exactly how she liked it. How fast. How hard. Ignoring his own painful need, he gave it all to her.
“Yes. That’s it. Just like that.” Her eyelids fluttered closed, her breaths closer together. Her muscles tightened and Pax took her mouth again, swallowing her cry as she came.
“So fucking sexy.” Pax eased her down, slowing his movements as her hips settled. With one last caress, he removed his hand. He wrapped her in his arms, lending her his strength while she found her own.
“I hope you don’t expect me to go back inside after that,” she said against his chest.
“Agreed.” Not with the hard-on he currently sported.
Her hand headed over his stomach, and Pax stopped her before she palmed him. He dropped a kiss to her forehead.
“Not yet, baby.” His control had met its limit. At this rate, he’d come before he could get his zipper open. Not happening.
“Follow me home?”
He trailed the line of her bottom lip as it disappeared behind her teeth.
“Yeah.” Pax knew then he’d follow her anywhere.
Chapter Nine
Reese pulled into the parking spot in front of her apartment.
Within seconds, she saw Pax in her rearview, parking his massive truck in an out-of-the-way spot.
He’d never been a vain man. She suspected he’d parked further away as a consideration to other residents and not for any need to protect his vehicle from dents or dings. Such a small gesture, but it warmed her heart, nonetheless.
She’d spent the drive trying to wrap her head around the events of the evening. What did it all mean? Were they officially dating now?
He’d asked for—no, demanded—exclusivity. Not a problem for her, but less than a week ago he’d said he didn’t want a relationship. That he had nothing to offer her.
What had changed?
I won’t share. Never again.
Reese had a fairly good idea where that had come from and it turned her stomach. Not only from her suspicions about what had ended Paxton’s marriage, but that he’d also think Reese capable of such a thing.
She’d been a fool to think she could work him out of her system.
Yeah. They had a lot to talk about.
She waited on the sidewalk for Pax. Her stomach fluttered as though she’d swallowed a jar of jumping beans. God, he’d made her come in a bar parking lot and now she was nervous?
“This is it,” she told him as he approached.
His gaze scaled the building. “Looks nice. You ready to go up?” He wet his lips and slid the keys from her fingers. A protective, dominant vibe flowed from him as he pressed the appropriate button, apparently needing to double check that she’d locked her car.
There were those damned jumping beans again.
She led the way to the third floor. She took a right and stopped in front of her door.
“Which key is it?”
She pointed out the right one. Within seconds, he’d opened her door and ushered her inside.
Reese flipped on the lights and pointed him toward the couch. Her place wasn’t huge, but it was plenty big enough for her. She’d furnished it for comfort. A large couch, oversized chair, and square coffee table made up her living room. Items that seemed small with Pax in the room. The man took up a lot of space. “Take a load off. I’ll grab us a couple drinks.”
He looked around her apartment. “Just a water for me, please. One more beer, and I’d be asleep before I hit the bottom of the glass.”
Reese grabbed two bottles of water and went to join him on the couch. Before she could sit, Pax pulled her across his lap. His erection lay hard and hot under her hip. Reese had figured he’d want to get right to the good stuff, so color her surprised when he settled her against him, seemingly content just to have her close.
Another piece of her heart slipped away.
Reese snuggled her nose into his neck, drawing in his scent. God, she loved the way he smelled. The fresh scent of the outdoors, mixed with saddle leather and man.
He didn’t say anything, and Reese was content with the silence. She didn’t need words or false promises. She just needed this. Him, holding her. His heart beat under her palm. His warmth surrounded her.
This was the good stuff too.
“You have a rough week?” They hadn’t talked about anything personal, and she wanted to know about his life.
He shrugged. “Nothing unusual. I won’t be sorry when the damned heat eases. I’m exhausted before noon when it gets this hot.” His lips caressed her forehead, not quite finding purchase. His breath was warm against her skin. “Don’t know what I hate worse. The heat or the storms.”
His phone beeped and he sighed. Reese leaned back as he fished it out of his pocket, and then snuggled back into his heat while he checked the screen.
His body went lax with a sigh of defeat. “Shit. I’ve got to go. Amber’s refusing to go to sleep until I get home.”
She eased back. “So soon?” She feigned a pout to tease him. “But, you just got here. Such a shame. It’s Friday night. For the first time in months, I don’t have to work on a Saturday.” It was rare she had a weekend off during the summer, even this late.
“Well, you might not, but I do. I’ve got the vet coming at the crack of dawn and that’ll take most of the day. Then there’s a well pump that needs my attention as well as a baler that’s down. There’s always something to do. Being a rancher isn’t a forty hour a week job, you know,” he snapped, color infusing his cheeks.
“Whoa. Where did that come from?” His anger-laced words stunned her. Maybe even hurt her feelings a little. She eased from his lap and scooted back, putting the length of the couch between them.
He leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “I’m s
orry. I didn’t mean…”
Reese’s heart broke as he dropped his head into his hands, his fingers curled into his hair as though he planned to rip it out from its roots. Reese knew his reaction had nothing to do with her. But come on … all his talk of sharing and now this? Twice in one night was more than she could take.
“I don’t know what this is.” She motioned back and forth between them. “Whether we’re just getting reacquainted, or if we’ll actually be able to build some kind of relationship. Whatever the hell this is, you don’t get to make assumptions about me. First, while I wish you could stay, I understand why you need to go. You’re watching out for your family. I’d never want to stand in the way of that. Second, I’d never condemn you for doing whatever was necessary at the ranch. It’s not just your job, it’s your heritage, and I’d expect nothing less than for you to take care of it.”
When he didn’t respond, she added, “Please, don’t insult me by making me pay for someone else’s mistakes. You know me better than that.”
His head snapped up and his gaze met hers. “Do I?”
Okay, that definitely hurt. They’d been stupid kids, and they’d both walked. Hadn’t they been through this? If she’d thought for a moment that he’d wanted her, needed her back then, she would have stayed.
Not about me. Not about me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
His fingers shoved through his hair and he stood. “No, I don’t. I should go.”
Sadness tugged at her heart. Regardless of what he’d said tonight, she’d known the deal. He hadn’t been ready for a relationship less than a week ago. Nothing had changed except his sudden need to keep her for himself. Why, she could only guess. The sex was pretty amazing.
He didn’t trust her with his pain. He didn’t want to share his life with her. His bed, maybe, but not his life. She’d been stupid enough to get caught up in thoughts of being with him again. A childish girl’s fantasy.
He did need to go. He had a family to take care of. A family that didn’t include her. “You should.”
He stopped at the door, turned back to her. “I don’t have your number. I’d like to call you later.”
Shadow Maverick Ranch Box Set Page 15