Angst had the feeling she was going to say something he didn’t want to hear, and he clumsily stumbled away again in search of the others. Scar once again took lead, and Angst followed. Aerella scrambled after him, pulling at her blue robes as they caught on bits of ruins. She was quiet for a while, trying to catch her breath.
“He liked you as well, which made the whole thing so hard for him. For both of us,” she said, her words ending in a sob. “He’d tried everything to break the curse. He willed Dulgirgraut to stop it. He even killed himself several times only to wake the next morning as though nothing had happened.”
Angst found Hector sprawled on his stomach, his legs jerking spasmodically, blood pooling in his ear. With another loud grunt, he slowly dragged his friend back to Tarness. After setting Hector beside Dallow, he leaned forward on his knees to catch his breath.
“Aerella, I barely remember any of it... I remember you, a little, and a fight. Rose died, and I killed...” Angst stood straight and peered at Aerella, though she wouldn’t look at him. “Your father. He killed Rose! I lost my temper, and I killed Anderfeld.” His voice trailed off.
Aerella was openly crying now. Gasping for breath. She wouldn’t turn to face him, and was holding herself as tightly as she could. Angst stood by her, quite helpless. He hesitantly rested his hands on her shoulders and waited.
After several very long minutes, she wiped her face and turned to him. Her eyes were filled with two thousand years of sadness. “It wasn’t your fault. I can’t forgive you right now, but it wasn’t your fault, Angst. You saved my people.”
“But I killed...” Before he could finish, she touched his mouth to stop him. He gently pulled her hand away. “How did that save your people?”
“It broke the curse,” Aerella said between sobs. “But something went wrong. He thought Gressmore Towers would be here, now. I believe killing him sent Gressmore back to the beginning and changed time.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Angst barked, dropping her hand. He leaned over to pet Scar. Squeezing his eyes shut, Angst willed the dog to find the one person he really needed to find. “Scar, bring me to Rose.”
Scar’s brown eyes momentarily flashed blue and he barked before running back into the maze of ruins. Angst pushed past Aerella to follow. She appeared ready to cry again but composed herself before running after them.
“I could tell how much you care for her, and I knew she was the one. I knew her death would force you to action,” she tried to explain.
“Shut up!” Angst growled as he moved faster to get away from her.
“You hadn’t allowed yourself to bond with the sword. Without that anger, you would never have been able to kill him,” she said between deep, gasping breaths.
“Shut up!” he yelled, waving her away.
“Don’t you see, Angst, the only way to break the curse was to kill my father with a foci. You never would’ve willingly killed him. It’s not in your nature,” Aerella pleaded with him.
“So you had him kill Rose? That was the only way? That’s insanity!”
Scar barked and wagged his tail as he sat next to Rose’s body. She lay on her stomach, sprawled unnaturally. She was so still. Angst dropped to his knees, and his eyes welled with tears. As gently as he could, Angst rolled her onto her back and lifted her.
Rose lay in his arms limply, and Angst carried her body back to the others. Who would keep him grounded now? Heather was his love, Tori fed his ego, and Chryslaenor gave him power. But it was always Rose who slapped him on the arm and reminded him how very human he was. Guilt slowly carved a pit into his stomach as he looked at her. “Rose, I’m sorry.”
Rose’s eyes opened wide, causing Angst’s heart to skip a beat. “What?” she asked. Her shock softened and her voice became dreamy. “Angst?” Rose raised a hand, nearly touching his face, then allowed it to fall to her chest and went back to sleep.
“I had the Red Guard create the illusion of Rose’s death,” Aerella said so quietly Angst had to watch her mouth so he wouldn’t miss anything. “It was the only way to trick you into killing him.”
His memories were becoming clearer, but his emotions were more conflicted than ever. Angst had been used. His friends had been put in danger. Rose had died, and then he found her alive. Angst had killed an innocent man. This storm of thoughts and memories were an all-consuming tempest that could easily wash him away. He shook his head like a dog shakes off water, took a deep breath, and sighed it all out.
“Are you okay?” Angst asked Aerella.
Startled, she looked at him with disbelief. “I’m not certain I’ll ever be okay. I don’t understand why I’m here, or what I’ll do. I’m forcing myself not to think about all of that.”
“Everything happens for a reason,” Angst said simply.
“Aren’t you upset with me?” Aerella asked, obviously dumbfounded by his sudden change in attitude.
“I’m absolutely furious at being used, and distraught at having killed...an innocent man, but my friends are safe,” he said, relief and exhaustion tempering his voice. He looked down at Rose in his arms. He’d never picked her up before, and was shocked at how light she was.
Aerella was still distraught. “I’m alone. What will I do?”
“You’ll come with us. I need you,” Angst said, nodding at his slumbering friends. “And I have a feeling they’ll need you too.”
“I doubt your friends remember anything,” she said apologetically. “They may remember over time, but it will take weeks, or months. Or they may never fully remember.”
“Then it sounds like we’ll have to rely on each other,” Angst said as he carefully lowered Rose next to Dallow.
Aerella nodded bravely.
“Let’s see if we can find our things. They need blankets and a fire to be comfortable while they rest this off.”
36
Tarness grunted and moaned, rocking from side to side with his eyes squeezed shut. Rose wrestled with her blankets, and they seemed to be losing. Hector coughed and pressed hard on his temples with the heels of his hands. It had been a very long night. Angst and Aerella tended to everyone until dawn when fevers broke and their faces stopped leaking blood.
“What’s happening? I feel sick,” Dallow said in a hoarse voice as he sat up. “Why aren’t you sick?”
“I was,” Angst said quietly, “but that was almost a full day ago.”
Angst was reluctant to approach Rose, who was on her feet before the others and assisting in spite of being a bit grumpy. He wanted to give her the biggest hug ever, but knew she would just be confused, so he kept himself busy. Aerella and Angst brought water to everyone, helping them through the worst parts of their recovery. At first, his friends blindly accepted Aerella’s presence, but soon began to question her as the effects of Gressmore slowly wore off.
“Not that I don’t appreciate your assistance, but who are you?” Hector asked Aerella.
She looked at Hector thoughtfully. “For now, the best explanation I can offer is that I’m with Angst.”
They all looked over at Angst. Rose rolled her eyes, and Dallow shook his head.
“Now you’re finding them in the middle of nowhere?” asked Tarness.
“What does he mean by that?” asked Aerella, raising an eyebrow. She stood quickly and straightened her blue robes.
“This should be interesting,” Rose scoffed as she sat on a nearby stone, crossing her arms and waiting for Angst to explain.
“All kidding aside, I would really like to know why she’s here and why we’re sick.” Hector stood shakily.
“Angst, you really can’t tell them what happened. I don’t think it would be safe. They don’t have foci to protect them,” Aerella said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.
Everyone asked questions at the same time, each one louder than the last, fighting to be heard.
“I don’t understand!”
“What is she talking about?”
“What happened?”
Angst wanted to answer with a definitive, “Shut up!” Instead, he struggled with patience while they struggled for answers. As he waited for quiet, Angst looked at each of them talking over each other and fighting off the effects of Gressmore. He was responsible for this—for their pain, and for the danger he was dragging them through. Angst shivered as a cold fear crept along his skin. He was so grateful they were safe, that Rose was alive, but for the first time since leaving, he was truly scared for them.
Angst stared at Rose instead of avoiding her. It wasn’t his usual typical childish playful gawking or serious contemplative look. This was worry on the cliff’s edge of panic, specifically for her. He shivered again, and everyone became quiet.
“Angst, what’s wrong?” Rose asked.
Angst tore his eyes away from her. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Actually, when everyone’s feeling better, it’s time to head home.”
“Wait, what?” Tarness asked, looking around at the others.
“Dallow was right. Mission accomplished.” Angst feigned a smile. “I need to go find Scar. When I get back, I’ll help all of you pack up.” Without another word, he turned away and walked into the ruins.
Aerella started to follow, but Rose grabbed her sleeve. Rose squinted, concentrating on her face, struggling to recognize her. “You’re Aerella, right?”
Aerella nodded. “Yes, Rose. I’m surprised you already remember.”
“It’s starting to come back, but thinking about it hurts.” Rose shook her head as if to clear it. “Leave Angst be, for a bit. Dallow or I will go chase him down after he’s done pouting.”
“All right, but maybe just Dallow should go,” Aerella said politely, pulling her long mane of brown hair back from her shoulders. “If your memory is healing this fast, I have a feeling you’ll understand soon.”
Rose looked at Aerella, perplexed, but reluctantly agreed.
Tarness seemed baffled and rubbed his large hands together in frustration.
“What’s wrong?” Dallow asked as he wiped a bit of sweat from his brow.
“Did I hear Angst right or am I still sick?” Tarness asked. “Did he say ‘I’ll help all of you pack up?’”
“That’s what I heard too. Pretty odd if you think about it. Like we’d let him go by himself,” Dallow answered. Everyone looked at him in surprise. “I may have been opposed to continuing, but I’d never actually leave him to do this alone. If he’s determined to see this through, I’ll be there with him.”
The stubble on Hector’s scraggly chin had become a beard, but the scar along his jaw still showed through the hair on his face, making him look even more dangerous than before. “Since our leader is off living up to his name, I’ll go ahead and ask. Does anyone have a suggestion about transportation? We’re obviously going somewhere, and we’re probably late getting there.”
They looked at each other, sharing shrugs or curious glances.
“Do we have enough gold to buy mounts?” asked Tarness.
“Maybe,” replied Hector, leaning against a piece of old fallen obelisk, “but from who?”
“I wish we could just appear where we need to go,” suggested Dallow, “but nobody’s been able to port for centuries.”
Aerella stepped directly in front of Dallow. She squinted and balled her hands into fists that shook. Then she simply wasn’t there anymore. The briefest moment passed, and Aerella popped into view several feet away. Everyone jumped or yelped in surprise.
“It’s fine for short distances, and I can teach you how to do it, but it’s an exhausting and slow way to travel,” Aerella said, a bit out of breath.
“Who are you?” Rose demanded. “I mean, I know your name, but what are you doing here?”
Aerella looked at Rose. Without a word she reached forward and plucked one of Rose’s long red hairs.
“Ouch. What was that for?” Rose said, grabbing her head. She stood quickly and leaned forward as though preparing to tackle the other woman.
Aerella cupped the hair into her hand and whispered to it. Her hands began glowing yellow as she spoke in Acratic. Dallow watched and listened very closely, obviously taking careful mental notes. After several moments, Aerella opened her hands and let the hair blow away.
Rose was still rubbing her head. “Well, that was useful. Next time try pulling hairs from your—” Rose’s jaw dropped.
A bright red buck was galloping toward them. It veered slightly as it approached and then stopped beside Rose, as if waiting. This deer was like no animal she’d seen. Its body and legs were formed from thin strands of sapling branches, and the red hue came from flowers that bloomed all about the buck’s body. Leaves rested on its back like a saddle, and its eyes seemed to be made of rippling water. The creature was stunning.
Aerella walked beside the buck and patted its neck. “This is your swifen. Consider it a mount made of elements that represent you and required a part of you to create. It will be yours forever, Rose, appearing whenever you call. After I teach you, of course.”
Rose touched the flowers gently, and the buck shivered. “It’s beautiful.”
Aerella smiled. “Who’s next?”
Tarness, Dallow, and Hector all raised their hands and stepped forward simultaneously.
Tarness’s steed was magnificent—an enormous stallion as solid as its rider and seemingly formed from the obsidian and marble ruins. Hector’s swifen was an angry-looking panther shaped from dark, wet sand with frightening silvery eyes that flashed ominously in the light.
Dallow stopped Aerella from calling his swifen, and plucked a hair from his own head. He cupped his hands around it as he’d seen Aerella do and looked to her for confirmation. She nodded encouragingly and motioned him to continue. Nothing happened the first two attempts, but after some counseling from Aerella, a tawny gazelle with tall horns strode toward him and nuzzled his shoulder. Dallow’s swifen appeared to be carved from dark hardwood, and the saddle was made from lighter-colored wooden shavings.
“Thank you so very much,” Dallow said excitedly as he hopped onto the back of his gazelle. “That was my first spell.”
Aerella nodded at him. “You learn very quickly, but I think it’s time you find your friend.”
Angst swung his sword at nearby undergrowth then swung again, and then, with a grunt, swung a third time. He poured his frustration into every motion. Small trees and bushes splintered and with each strike, leaves flew up into the air. He inadvertently hit a nearby rock, splitting it in half. Upon inspection, he found Chryslaenor undamaged. He then attacked everything he could reach.
The sword wasn’t giving him any magical boost. Angst wasn’t moving with unbelievable speed, or dancing with uncanny accuracy, he was simply hitting things. After several minutes, tiredness overtook him, and his mind wandered. He thought about how he’d driven Ivan away. He thought about Tori. How desperately he missed Heather. Of Anderfeld, an innocent man, dying at his hands. About Rose being...being killed. He could still see her sliding off Anderfeld’s sword, blood dripping from the blade. He’d failed to save her, and now he felt helpless to protect any of them. Angst struck out with the sword again.
“Is this helping?” asked Dallow.
Angst startled and turned, instinctively pointing Chryslaenor at Dallow’s face. He quickly lowered it. “No, but eventually I’ll work it out of my system.”
“It usually doesn’t take this long for your tantrums to pass. What happened over the last three days?” Dallow sat on a nearby stone and prepared to listen.
Angst had lifted the sword to begin relieving more frustration. “If I tell you before you remember naturally, it could make you even sicker than you feel now. Or that’s the impression I get from Aerella. So on top of everything else, I can’t even share what’s going on with one of my oldest friends.”
“I’m starting to feel much better,” Dallow said encouragingly. “Why don’t you put the sword to rest and tell me.”
“Well, let’s see,” Angst said challengingl
y, pointing Chryslaenor at the ground and leaning on the giant sword. “In the last three days, I watched Rose die, I was tricked into killing an innocent man, and I broke time.”
Dallow reeled at this for a moment then rubbed his temples. “Rose died? Changed time? I don’t understand.” He looked about, as if confused by his surroundings.
“See? And I haven’t even told you any of the details,” Angst said in frustration.
Dallow did his best to take it all in while fighting the effects of Gressmore. “What makes you think you can do this alone?”
“What do you mean?” asked Angst defensively.
“Everyone back at camp feels like you plan to dismiss us,” Dallow replied. “Everything that’s happened to this point has been a struggle. Everything that’s happened has required us all to work together. If it’s going to get worse, what makes you think you can do it by yourself?”
“I don’t—” Angst lost his words at the sight of Dallow’s wooden gazelle in the distance. “What in Ehrde is that?”
Dallow whistled, and the gazelle trotted over. He crawled onto its back. “This is my swifen. Not bad, huh? Let’s go make you one.”
It took Aerella three attempts —each time yanking out one of Angst’s coarse hairs— before she could get his swifen to appear. When it arrived, everyone looked at it, perplexed. The swifen was an awkward-looking ram that was fat in the belly yet had very long legs. The ‘elements’ part didn’t work out very well as the creature was covered in bits of shoddy, rusted metal squares that appeared hammered together like a patchwork quilt with sharp edges.
“Just what every hero needs,” Angst muttered as he stepped away from the monstrosity. His swifen kept bumping him with its horns.
“Aw, Angst, it looks like you made it yourself,” Rose said with a laugh.
“Every time it moves, it sounds like its dragging a bag full of weapons,” Hector observed dryly.
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