His eyes went wide, and his heart tried to leap through his constricted throat. Maybe he was still sound asleep in the princess’s chambers? Would he wake up soon and have to experience this nightmare all over again? He sat gingerly, letting his stiff muscles and joints adjust to yet another chair. Angst drowned his mouth with water while eyeing the other glass.
“From the smell of your breath, I would recommend sips,” the queen stated, waiting patiently.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he said between gulps. Sweat formed on his forehead as last night’s drink began seeping out his pores.
“Thank you,” Isabelle said sincerely.
“Your Majesty? I, um...” He let the words trail off.
“Raising a teenage daughter is a daunting task,” she stated matter-of-factly, completely ignoring him. “Raising the future queen of Unsel is almost impossible. You may not remember, but once, not so long ago, I was that young princess. I was also a teenager. It’s not easy being both, and often the needs of a teenager outweigh the requirements of being a princess.”
She sighed, staring at him, waiting for this to sink in. Angst took another desperate gulp of water to replace his quickly dehydrating supply. Isabelle pushed her glass to him as he set his empty one on the table.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Angst said apologetically.
“I am not only the queen. I’m a worried mother. I knew this would be a challenging time, and I now know what my parents went through when I was a teenager,” Isabelle went on, with a surprisingly human look of guilt on her face. “Last night, late after you arrived, I peeked in to check on my daughter. I was... You surprised me, Angst. Again. I saw you, passed out in the chair, holding hands with my daughter.”
Before Angst could reply in his defense, the queen held up her ringless hand to stop him.
“It could have been far, far worse. Another man would have taken advantage of the situation to position themselves as a potential consort, or husband, or simply to be cruel to a young woman for their own base needs.” She shook her head in concern. “But there you sat, holding her hand like a friend... I’m amazed, and grateful.”
“But,” he said before having to gulp down a bit of his stomach. “The yelling?”
“Oh really, Angst, don’t be such a baby. This isn’t the first time I’ve yelled at you,” she said with surprising candor. “Half the castle was already talking about how you slept with the princess last night. As her mother, as the queen, I can’t let anyone assume I think that’s okay. The princess’s chamber doors will not be allowed open to just any man—with or without good intent.”
Angst nodded, speechless, before taking several more gulps of water.
“I assume you are well enough to make it home. I have no doubt your pregnant wife will have more...yelling...for you,” she said with a chuckle.
“Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you,” Angst replied with a respectful nod.
“I suspect next time you will find it within yourself to make it out of her room before anyone sees you?” the queen asked. “There is a servants’ entrance—”
“The next time, Your Majesty?” Angst interrupted.
“Tori mentioned you were bright. I’m hoping this is just the alcohol talking,” the queen snapped, her patience wavering. “Unofficially, of course, I want you to make certain the princess arrives at home, if you are to find her again. I have a feeling she will find you, no matter what I do, so I would rather have her home safe. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. I will always do everything in my power to keep Tori...the princess safe,” he replied quickly.
She paused for a long moment, pursed her lips then nodded once. “I believe you, Angst. Now, if you will accompany me to the door, I need to yell at you as you leave.”
Angst smirked at this before frowning for those lingering in the hall. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
The queen had rewarded Angst’s heroism in defending Unsel against the element of Magic with land and a sizeable cottage. The “reward” was a half-day’s ride from the castle—and the princess—by horse...and an exhilarating hour by swifen. Cold wind whipped through his sweat-soaked hair, refreshing him to his core. The early-morning bite was enough to freeze his nostrils shut but, in spite of the hangover, he welcomed the awakening.
Angst struggled to formulate a thoughtful tale that would be less painful for Heather to hear. She wouldn’t want to know he had spent the night in Victoria’s chambers, no matter how noble or innocent his intent—her animosity for the princess was palpable for reasons he couldn’t fathom. But nothing came to mind, his thoughts were overwhelmed by the foggy memories of last night with Victoria, and the crystal sharp memories of this morning with Isabelle, as he arrived on the stone-pathed hilltop of his cottage estate.
Angst dismounted his swifen and looked at the spellbound creature. It seemed shorter than when he’d chased the beam of magic from Fulk’han, and several pieces of patched rusty metal had appeared on the swifen’s belly and flank, as though it were eroding with Angst’s confidence. He dismissed the swifen, walked to the door, took a deep breath, and braced himself for yet another battle.
His boots echoed on the hard tile entryway. The tile was dark, and the wood-trimmed walls gave the room a warm closeness. Scar’s nails clicked as the lab pup approached, his tail wagging so hard his butt rocked from side to side.
After giving the lab almost enough love by scratching its ears, Angst walked down a small hallway to the sitting room. A cozy fire burned in the fireplace, casting light and shadow on his wife’s face as she sat awkward and uncomfortable on a brown longchair near the fire. From the entrance, Angst couldn’t tell if she was asleep or awake except that she didn’t move. Regardless, she shouldn’t be sitting in such an unnatural position as though she hadn’t meant to fall asleep in that chair. Her hand rested on her four-month baby bump, and she breathed deeply.
Angst kneeled before Heather and put his hand on her knee. She lifted her head with a start, and he brushed curly brown and gray hairs from her face. Even as she opened her blotchy eyes, she seemed on the verge of tears.
“Angst,” she said quietly, “you’re okay.”
“I’m fine, Heather. Let me help you to bed,” he said guiltily.
“You smell like the Wizard’s Revenge,” she admonished in a sleepy voice. “I’m glad you’re home safe. What happened?”
“Well I...I drank too much... I had to walk Tori home... I passed out.” Angst looked at her with worry. “I’m sorry, Heather. I didn’t... It was just...”
Heather held her hand to his mouth. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re home with me.”
Angst helped her up and walked her to their bedroom. He pulled the quilts back from their bed and she crawled under the covers. She sighed as he covered her with blankets up to her shoulders.
“Are you going to join me?” she asked hopefully.
“Of course,” Angst lied. “Let me first get cleaned up so I don’t get you drunk from my port breath.”
Heather smiled and squeezed his hand before rolling to her side. Angst waited for several moments until her deep breathing became a gentle snore then snuck out of their bedroom and returned to the main-room. He kicked off his boots, let his damp cloak drop to the floor, and fell to the couch. Guilt was poor bedcompany, and Angst stared at the fire. The quiet of the room made his ears ring, and his stomach burned from his hangover and mistakes.
If only she had yelled. It would have been so much easier to justify his actions had Heather gotten angry, but she hadn’t. Angst’s thoughts were torn between his uncomfortably pregnant wife, who was usually upset, and his best friend, who was young, and pretty, and probably still drunk in her bed. His eyelids grew heavy as he stared at the flickering warmth and light in the fireplace.
Wouldn’t it be easier if Heather hated him? Wouldn’t it be easier if Tori wanted him? Wouldn’t it be easier if he were younger? Wouldn’t it be easier if he were bonded with Chryslaenor once more?
/> It was never easy, and neither was his slow descent into dreamless sleep.
6
Trepidation crept up Angst’s spine and tickled the base of his skull as he entered the maidens’ courtyard. He looked around to gather his bearings, and couldn’t quite place what was wrong. His was an inside-out sort of déjà vu, having just experienced a future in which the courtyard was destroyed. Angst stepped forward slowly, cautiously. He heard the fountain bubbling instead of flame from dragonmaw flying overhead. He saw planters filled with out of season flowers and not a chasm at his feet. Everything appeared fine, for now.
Usually the first to arrive at the empty courtyard, Angst raised an eyebrow with concern when he saw a young woman sitting at the fountain. He avoided eye contact, frantically trying to recall if this was the right day. This place was always off limits to men, save for his weekly meeting with the princess, a reluctant “gift” from Queen Isabelle after he’d helped save her and Unsel.
His eyes flickered back and made contact. The young woman smiled wryly at his approach. She stood and sauntered over to him, unconcerned by his presence in the courtyard.
“You must be Angst, the hero my cousin’s always talking about,” she said, holding out a dainty hand that sported a rather large ruby ring.
Angst was taken aback by the cousin reference, but quickly composed himself as she was quite striking. He took her hand, bowed, and kissed it for an almost lingering moment, completely missing the ring.
“I am Angst,” he confirmed with a genuine smile, trying as hard as he could to maintain eye contact and not take in the full view.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Angst,” she replied in an airy voice. She did not retrieve her hand. “I’m Alloria.”
Angst failed; he had to look. Though it was hard to be certain, Alloria appeared several years younger than Victoria. She was just as thin, yet much curvier. Her long, light brown hair fell about her tanned shoulders in waves. Alloria’s ice blue bodice fit snugly about her tiny waist, greatly accentuating her curvy hips and abundant breasts. Her thin eyebrows arched with intent, and her full pouty lips were painted dark red, seemingly poised to kiss at any given moment. Where Victoria was alluring, Alloria was arousing, and Angst couldn’t hold back his blush or the intake of breath in awe of her youthful beauty.
Alloria did not shy away from his reaction. Unlike Victoria, she seemed to revel in it. Still holding Angst’s hand, she pulled him to the nearby bench and sat. “My cousin’s going to be several minutes. Please, join me.”
Certain his palm was sweating, Angst tried pulling it gently away, but she wouldn’t let go. She was royalty, she was beautiful, and Angst didn’t want to be rude, of course, so he sat next to her. She rested their hands on her knee, which made him lean closer, and stared deep into his eyes. Angst drew in a deep breath of not-gawking-at-cleavage willpower and swallowed hard before leaning back.
“Victoria never told me what pretty eyes you have,” Alloria said in her light voice.
“I think she’s always been more impressed by my height,” Angst replied with a smirk, desperately seeking the safe ground of humor.
Alloria chuckled, sat upright and tugged at her bodice to straighten it. “She mentioned you were cute, and funny—”
“That’s because I am,” Angst interrupted with a cocky smile, not understanding her game and beginning not to enjoy it.
Alloria’s eyes widened in surprise, and she tried to cover his faux pas with an uncomfortable giggle.
Just as she began to speak again, Angst cut in. “I do that,” he said with a smirk.
“You did it again! You interru—”
“Isabelle hates it,” he said, letting go of her hand.
Alloria’s face paled. “You speak of your queen like she’s a commoner.”
“I am the commoner, Alloria, though not a common one.” He winked. Alloria might very well have been one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, so it required extra focus to realize she wanted something. “While it’s very nice of you to wait with me, I have to wonder why I have the pleasure of your company.”
Angst was happy to see he’d taken her off guard, though she recovered quickly. “The queen asked me to tell you not to use magic this afternoon during the ceremony,” she said.
Angst nodded once, though surprised by this edict and by Isabelle’s choice of messenger.
“Is it true, that you are inflicted...er, can do magic, with stone? That you can make things?” Alloria asked, looking at Angst with large, hopeful eyes.
Angst was still wary, but Alloria was cute and so he allowed himself to take the bait. He lifted his hand, which glowed with a faint aura, and a small stone bird grew from the ground at Alloria’s feet. She seemed in shock as fine detail appeared on the bird’s feathers. It blinked and hopped toward her as though alive. Angst laid his hand on the ground, and the small stone bird jumped onto his glowing palm. Alloria gasped, and smiled, leaning toward him for a closer look. Angst enjoyed her reaction and decided to play for a moment.
The bird’s wings stretched open and fluttered. Angst concentrated on the stone, and the air surrounding it, and watched with pleasure as the bird flapped its wings and flew.
“Oh my!” she said with surprise. Alloria had forgotten about Angst and was completely lost in the moment. “It’s so beautiful.”
Angst smiled to himself, proud he’d figured out the balance between stone and air without the help of a foci. The small bird flew about the courtyard with grace—floating between pillars, rising high then diving fast to hover before Alloria’s hand. Her palm was closed in a fist, unwilling to open. Angst urged the stone bird to bump her, and she lashed out, knocking it to the ground where it shattered.
“Oh Angst, I’m sorry, I’m not used to magics...” She sat up straight, her composure and control completely lost.
For a brief moment, Angst saw the young woman with her guard down. Exposed, she seemed more a person and less royalty, which made him like her for more than her looks.
“Nothing to worry about,” he said with a smile. Angst walked over to the pile of broken stones and willed them back into the original shape. When he sat beside her once more, he handed the unmoving stone bird to her.
“Mr. Angst, that was amazing. Thank you,” Alloria said genuinely, hesitantly accepting the gift.
She took a moment to smile at the small marble carving as though it were alive then gripped the bird tight in her hand. She appeared guilty, ashamed of something. Alloria looked about the courtyard as if in anticipation. Was she expecting an earthquake? Was Alloria trying to recreate the moment he’d had with Victoria so many years before? His control over magic was far stronger now. Even without Chryslaenor, he could use a great amount of magic without fear of side effects. It wasn’t the same as being bonded to the foci—the raw power, the fountain of knowledge, and the companion were gone—but he could still do many things.
“Um, Angst?” Alloria pointed to his face.
Angst looked down and lifted his hand to wipe blood from under his nose. Of all the times to get a bloody nose...now? Angst was embarrassed, and began sniffing loudly and breathing in deeply, hoping to dry out the trickle. He looked at Alloria and shrugged, making her giggle, then wiped his hand on his trousers.
She took the hand that still had a bit of dried blood on it. “Are you okay?” she asked with genuine concern.
Angst nodded awkwardly, in spite of a dull thud beating the inside of his temples. “Really, I am. I don’t know what Victoria did, or didn’t tell you, but things are different without Chryslaenor,” Angst said, unsure why he was suddenly comfortable enough to open up.
Angst shared highlights of his time with the great sword. He couldn’t help but notice how close she sat, how full her lips were, and how she smelled almost too pretty. Aside from that, she listened, and seemed genuinely interested. Angst was a bit baffled why this young woman wasn’t flirting with knights or courting with dukes instead of listening to him, but t
he concern was fleeting as her attention was on him.
As he finished his story, he noticed a tear dripping down her cheek and wiped it with the back of a finger. “Did I say something wrong, Alloria?”
“That was just... It’s just that you sacrificed everything you’d always wanted,” she said, disbelief in her wide azure eyes.
“That’s what you do for the people you love, right?” he said matter-of-factly.
Now she really began to cry, and Angst held in a disparaging sigh. It had felt like the right thing to say, but it seemed to have upset her even more.
“Alloria, what’s wrong?” Angst asked.
“I’m just...very alone. I lost my family last week when Cliffview collapsed into the ocean. I haven’t been able to talk about it until now, but...” She gripped his hand tight.
“Alloria, I’m sorry. I hadn’t heard,” Angst said, patting her back as she leaned forward to cry on his shoulder. “What happened?”
“We were on vacation, getting ready to leave, when the entire city fell into the ocean. My parents died, everyone died. I was the only one who made it.” She began sobbing again.
“I’m so sorry.” Angst made soothing noises, while contemplating what could have caused such an incredible disaster. Several moments passed as Alloria struggled to regain composure but eventually she pulled back and looked at Angst gratefully with her large, wet eyes.
“Angst, are you still in here?” Victoria stomped into the courtyard with stormy exasperation. “Whoever sent me clear across the castle with a fake message from my mum will be marched in the cold winter with Tyrell’s guard!”
She charged to the bench where Angst sat holding Alloria’s hand and gawked. In his entire life, Angst had never seen such a tornadic combination of emotions in any one person. Shock, dismay, frustration, anger, disappointment, and catty were all rolled up into a curt smile and squinted eyes that glared at the small marble bird resting in Alloria’s hand. Alloria gripped the bird tight, as though it were the only thing she owned.
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