‘Yeah,’ Nadine agrees, pushing me towards a club. ‘You need to be awake to take in this place.’
I look up. It just looks like a normal nightclub.
‘Why, what’s wrong with it?’ I ask with a frown.
‘Mia booked it,’ she says accusingly.
I look to Mia. She sighs. ‘Okay, so it’s kind of a metal night. But trust me, you’ll love it!’
Metal? What the hell was she thinking? If I get crushed in a mosh pit, I’m totally holding her responsible.
‘I think it sounds fab,’ Joan says, her cheeks flushed from drinking too much wine.
‘Just try to keep an open mind,’ Mia warns, before flouncing in ahead.
We all follow her like lost little sheep. It’s actually not as scary as I thought it would be. Yes, the place is full of alternative and goth-like people, but they’re all smiley, dressed up in cheeky Christmas outfits. In the main room, there’s a huge ball pit and three bouncy castles. Now I can see why Mia booked it. I love this shit! I run and dive straight into the ball pit.
We spend the next few hours drinking copious amounts of cocktails, bouncing around and exploring the different music rooms. According to Mia, I’m into Ska and Punk Regaee, whatever that means.
As the four of us walk the streets of London at four in the morning looking for a kebab shop, I can’t help but feel completely grateful for my friends and family. They’re the reason being single has never been too hard. With them on my side, my life has never been short of hilarious.
‘Fucking fab night,’ Kelly says, drool coming out of the side of her mouth.
‘I’m a total metalhead!’ Nadine screams, doing the metal sign with her hand.
‘Calm down, dickhead,’ Mia laughs. ‘My people would never accept you as one of their own.’
Oh god. Now I really need to pee.
‘Toilet. Need,’ I say, clearly unable to speak in full sentences.
Nadine looks around. Her pupils are huge. They’re like little flying saucers. Haha, I used to love those sweets. I wonder if there really are flying saucers. If there are such things as aliens. Shit, one of my besties could be an alien for all I know!
‘Everywhere is closed, babe,’ Nadine says.
When did her eyes get so weird? I cower away from her suspiciously. If anyone’s an alien, it’s her. With her creepy organisational skills. It’s completely un-human.
‘Get away from me,’ I shout, pushing her away weakly. ‘Alien imposter!’
‘Babe,’ Mia shouts, ‘you’re gonna have to pee behind this dumpster.’
Ugh. I don’t want to be one of those girls who pees in public. Oh God, but my bladder is screaming at me. I run around it and pull up my dress and my knickers down. I squat and release the wee. God, that feels like heaven.
‘I’m not this kind of girl!’ I shout back at them. ‘I’m a classy bitch!’
Raucous laughing suddenly explodes from behind me. I turn, still with my knickers down to see a stag do in matching green T-shirts laughing hysterically at me.
‘Arggh!’ I scream, running over to the girls. It’s hard to run with my knickers still around my ankles, and I end up falling face down.
Nadine and Kelly try to pick me back up. ‘Not, you, you alien!’ I yell at Nadine. ‘I know that you’re not my Nadine! She’s far nicer than you!’
‘Shit, Flo. Calm the fuck down,’ Kelly berates.
I look down at my bloody knees, the sight of it making me queasy. I suddenly feel woozy. My eyes roll back before it all goes black.
Chapter Thirteen
Sunday 18th December
I wake up with a start, kicking my legs out of the bed. The disproportion of balance makes me topple out of it, hitting my face on the floor. My knees also sting like motherfuckers.
‘Fuck,’ I moan into the carpet.
How much did I drink last night?
Mia, Kelly and Nadine are passed out in different spots on the floor. I crawl, careful not to touch my knees on the floor, back into bed and put the duvet over my head. Any kind of daylight is hurting my eyes.
My phone beeps from somewhere distant. I peep out of the duvet at my bedside table. It’s not there. It beeps again, and I work out that it must be still in my bag near Nadine.
I begrudgingly crawl out of bed before remembering about my bloodied knees. I still can’t stand so I do a sort of backwards crab walk towards the bag. God, I’m exhausted. Every limb in my body aches. I must have danced all night. I don’t actually remember getting home.
I unlock my phone to see two WhatsApp messages from a number I don’t know. Oh God, I hope I didn’t give my number out last night to any randoms.
I open it up to see a video attachment. Underneath it is written
I thought you should know
Know what? God, what time is it? I click on the video, cursing it for taking so long to load. When it does, cheesy Christmas music blares out of the speakers. I quickly try to turn down the volume so as not to wake the others.
I look closer, and it’s a man and a woman dancing. Wait, that’s red hair. Is that Felicity? They turn ever so slightly, and I see that it’s Hugh. Shit. He’s slow dancing with Felicity? Is this what he spent his stag night doing? As the song ends and another one starts they kiss.
It’s like someone’s punched me in the stomach and thrown acid at my face. He’s kissing her? His old girlfriend, Felicity? What a bastard.
Something drops onto my phone screen, and it’s only then I realise I’m crying. I suppose I would be upset. And this upset, under all of this numbness. It must be my body’s way of protecting itself.
Nadine’s eyes open slowly. She seems to take in my crying form, frowning.
‘What’s up?’
‘It’s Hugh,’ I sob. ‘He’s cheated on me.’
We agreed yesterday for him to come to mine tonight for dinner. But that was before he decided to be a cheating bastard. For all I know he’s half way to Barbados with Felicity by now, not giving me a second thought.
It’s given me time to stew. I can’t believe he’s been this much of a selfish bastard. He’s been lying the whole time. Of course, I was just collateral damage in his plan to win back Felicity. Hey, I bet it was a bonus for him that I was willing to shag him in the meantime. Fucking arsehole.
He knocks on my door at eight pm sharp. Right on time. On time to get a new arsehole ripped in.
‘Hey,’ he grins when he sees me. ‘How was last night?’ He bounds past me up the stairs.
‘Pretty uneventful compared to yours, I bet,’ I practically snarl.
I shut my flat door behind him.
‘That’s weird,’ he muses, looking at the pristine kitchen. ‘I thought we were gonna have dinner. Or are you so wrecked we’re getting a takeaway? I don’t mind either way, but I’m starving.’
How can he be acting so cavalier when only last night he had his tongue down Felicity’s throat?
‘Really?’ I growl, leaning on one hip. ‘Didn’t eat enough of Felicity’s face last night?’
He frowns, his eyes darting from side to side. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’
‘I know,’ I fume, walking past him. I can’t even bear to look at him, and I need to keep moving. I have so much rage coursing through my body I’m sure that if I stay still, I’ll physically burst into flames.
‘Know what? What the fuck are you going on about? I didn’t even see Felicity last night.’
‘Your first lie!’ I snap, pointing my finger at him accusingly. ‘I know that you kissed.’
He looks back at me as if I’m mad. Stupid bastard doesn’t realise that I have proof.
‘Who told you that?’
I fold my arms across my chest. ‘An anonymous source.’
‘And you believed them?’ he asks in a tight voice. ‘Fuck, Florence, do you not know me at all? I’d never cheat, let alone on you.’
‘Really? Why don’t I believe you?’ I challenge, glaring at him.
He smil
es sadly, and his shoulders sagged in defeat. ‘I suppose you’re right. Why am I thinking you’d have any faith in me? I’ve only given you no reason not to believe me. But I suppose we really don’t know each other so well after all.’
‘I guess you’re right,’ I agree with a nod. I feel the sudden pricking of tears.
He looks at me with such hurt, as if visibly wounded. Why is it I’m starting to feel bad? But no, he’s the one in the wrong.
He storms out of the flat, slamming the door behind him.
If he’s the one in the wrong, then why is it I feel so lousy?
Chapter Fourteen
Monday 19th December
I didn’t sleep at all last night. I feel awful, which is ridiculous. This is his fault, his mistake. So why do I feel so lousy? Just remembering the hurt in his eyes is enough to make my stomach twist. I mean—could I have been wrong? But no, what am I thinking? I saw it on film. There’s no denying that. I have physical evidence. It was him.
Maybe he was so smashed he doesn’t remember, but that’s not an excuse. Maybe she took advantage of him; the devious bitch. Or maybe he just saw his ex-fiancée that briefly carried their child, and realised that he still loved her? Oddly enough, I can actually understand it. I feel like I shouldn’t stand in the way of their love story. It’s just a shame that I got a taste of how good it could be.
The worst thing is, I knew as I was tossing and turning that the one thing to get me to sleep would be Hugh himself, fucking the life out of me. That’s another thing I’m going to have to get used to. No more sex. Dammit, why did I let myself get used to feeling so good? I should have known it was too good to be true.
My doorbell rings. A bud of hope springs to life in my stomach. Oh my God, is that him? Here to apologise and beg for forgiveness? I rush to the intercom.
‘Hello?’ I say, my voice wobbly.
‘It’s us,’ Kelly says, cheerful as ever. Doesn’t she realise my life is in tatters?
I buzz them up without another word, leaving the door open. I fall back into bed. They better have brought comfort food.
‘Morning, lover!’ Kelly says, bright as a button.
‘We brought pizza,’ Nadine adds, clearly knowing better than to try and be cheerful.
That’s enough to get me to look up. Mia’s here too.
‘Hey, bitch,’ she smiles sadly.
I put my hand out dramatically. ‘Give me.’
They open up the pizza box and hand me a slice of meat feast. I basically swallow it whole.
‘Flo,’ Mia says carefully, ‘you have it wrong about Hugh.’
How the hell would she know?
‘Oh, really? He’s been trying to talk you round, has he? Swarmy, charming bastard.’
‘No, it’s not that. Look.’ She pulls out her phone, and presses play.
It’s a video of Troy and Jace drunkenly talking crap.
‘Is this supposed to be making me feel better?’ I ask in confusion.
‘No,’ Nadine says, leaning in. She points to behind them. ‘Look in the background.’
I focus in on the area and can make out Hugh and Felicity dancing again. It’s like another blow to the heart. Why the hell would they want to show this to me again? Haven’t I been through enough?
‘How the hell is this supposed to be making me feel better?’ I whine, feeling visibly wounded. ‘I don’t want to see them making out again!’ I throw myself back down in bed and under the covers.
‘No,’ Mia insists, lifting the cover off me. ‘This wasn’t last night. The video they sent you, it’s from last Christmas.’
I narrow my eyes at her. ‘Huh?’
‘Troy told me. It’s from a Christmas party they all went to together last year.’
Could that be true? But then he’d obviously try to get his friend out of it.
‘Of course Troy is going to lie for his friend,’ I retort, completely unimpressed with this new information.
‘He’s not like that,’ Mia says protectively.
We all turn to stare at her. It’s not like her to give someone else the benefit of the doubt. Is something going on with them?
‘How would you know?’ I ask, a smile creeping on my face.
‘I wouldn’t,’ she snaps quickly. We all share amused grins. ‘But this is on Troy’s Instagram, dated last year. Look at the clothes Hugh and Felicity are wearing. Exactly the same as in the video you have. If you listen back to it, it’s even the same song playing in the background.’
I press play again, and she’s right. Shit. Could I really have been duped?
‘So whoever sent the video did it purely to upset you, knowing it wasn’t really last night. Who would do that?’ Kelly asks.
‘Duh!’ I snap. ‘It’s obviously Felicity herself. She wants to cause problems between us.’
Now I feel awful. The hurt in Hugh’s eyes was real. I’ve potentially just ruined the best thing that happened to me. There I was, willing to stand back and let Felicity claim him again—when in reality she’s a sneaky bitch.
I stand up, pizza in hand. ‘Shit, why did you let me eat this?’ I shriek, trying to work out the calories I’ve just practically inhaled. ‘I have to fit into a wedding dress in 6 days?!’
‘So you’re going after your man?’ Kelly asks, clapping excitedly. Bless her—she watches too many rom coms. But yeah, I’m going to have to go after him and beg for forgiveness.
‘Yep.’ I grab my coat.
‘Woah!’ Nadine says, standing up and stopping me in my tracks. ‘If you plan to grovel you’re going to have to shower. You look like shit.’
I look down at myself. Greasy hair, still in pyjamas, which have been rolled up to let my cut knees start to heal.
‘You’re right. Let’s get glam.’
An hour later I’m groomed to perfection. It helps when you have a team of three working on you. I’ve figured out what I’m going to say and I’m really hoping he’s going to be reasonable and take the time to listen to me. See that it was a simple mistake and what the hell was I supposed to think?
I buzz up to his flat.
‘Hello?’ he says, sounding lame.
‘Hi, it’s me,’ I say, my voice high-pitched and wobbly. Shit, I’m already struggling to hold it together. ‘Please let me up.’
He buzzes within seconds. That’s a good sign. He’s letting me in.
When the lift pings I find Hugh stood outside of his door. Shit. Is he not even going to let me in? It seems I was a bit too optimistic at being let into the building.
‘Hi,’ I say awkwardly, not sure whether I should go in for a kiss or not.
‘Hi,’ he croaks. He looks like shit. His shoulders are slumped. It strangely makes me feel good. He’s been just as miserable as me. There’s still hope. Not that he doesn’t still look edible in jeans and a black t-shirt.
‘Can we go inside?’ I ask, eager not to play this out in the public hallway.
‘Let’s just talk here.’
Great. He wants to torture me.
‘Oh...okay.’ I swallow in an attempt to push down my nerves. ‘Look, I’m so so sorry I accused you of that. You’re right, you’ve never given me reason to doubt you before, but I was sent a video of you both kissing.’
His forehead crinkles. ‘A video?’
I nod. ‘That’s why I wasn’t willing to listen. Because I’d seen it with my own eyes, I was so sure you’d fucked me over. Your own Mother told me it wouldn’t work between us. And if I’m honest, I suppose I’ve been waiting for something to come and ruin this. It just seems too good to be true.’
He sighs, hands in his jean pockets. ‘But you wouldn’t even let me explain.’
‘You rushed out of there!’ I take a deep breath to try and calm myself down. I don’t want to go off track here. ‘Anyway, Troy explained that it was a video from last year.’
He seems to process this. ‘Okay, that makes more sense. But who the hell sent it?’
‘Your guess is as good as mine,’
I say vaguely, not wanting to bring up Felicity. ‘But I don’t want them to win.’
‘Neither do I,’ he says, grabbing me by my waist. ‘I’ve been miserable without you.’ He tilts his forehead so it’s pressing against mine. ‘Promise me, next time you’ll hear me out before jumping to conclusions.’
‘I promise,’ I nod, with a relieved smile. ‘But I’m hoping there’s not a next time.’ I look at the door behind him. ‘Now, shall we get a cheeky takeaway to celebrate our first proper fight?’
‘No!’ he shouts, suddenly panicked. ‘Let’s go out to eat. I’ll just grab my wallet.’
‘Okay,’ I smile, joining him on walking inside.
‘You stay here.’
Right, there’s something going on here, and I don’t like it.
‘Why don’t you want me to come in?’ I question, sounding far too suspicious.
‘No reason,’ he shrugs, obviously trying to play it down. At least I know he’s a shit liar.
‘You won’t mind if I go in then.’ I barge past him into the flat, attempting to prepare myself for what finds me.
It’s silent inside, but as soon as I enter, I see Felicity sitting on the sofa, her jacket off, showing off her bouncy tits in a skin-tight dress.
What. The. Fuck.
A blast of anger blindsides me, the blood drains from my face, and I boil with fury in my stomach.
‘What is she doing here?’ I demand, my voice erupting in an angry growl.
‘Hi, Florence,’ she smiles, her blue eyes flashing a quick look of hatred before she recovers to appear genuinely friendly in front of Hugh. I know it’s just an act now.
She was clearly waiting to swoop in and comfort Hugh once I dumped him. With her big breasts. What a two-faced bitch.
I look at Hugh, expecting some kind of explanation. Instead, he’s just biting his lip, looking ridiculously guilty.
‘I can’t fucking believe this,’ I say, seething internally.
I storm out and head straight for the stairs. I don’t have time to wait for the lift. I need to run, to keep moving. Run away from this nightmare. We have our first argument about Felicity and what does he do? Invites the brazen bitch round for wine!
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