by G. V. Steitz
Beautiful To Me.
Written by: G.V. Steitz
This book contains content that is not suitable for readers 18 and under.
Copyright 2013, G.V. Steitz
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
KINDLE EDITION
ISBN-13: 978-1483977317
ISBN-10: 1483977315
This book is a work of Fiction. All of the names, places, characters, organizations and events described in this book are completely fictional and products of the author’s imagination used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance or similarity to any individual, organization, events, or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.
50,000 WORD Novel.
Please leave a review after reading this book. I appreciate everything and all comments.
~Enjoy~
G.V. Steitz
Dedication:
To everyone who should feel beautiful, and doesn’t.
You are beautiful. The scars that you try and hide, you should be proud to show. They represent you surviving battle. Those scars are battle wounds.
We all have our own wars, battles and fights to over come.
Don’t let anyone make you believe what you suffered or endured is less important than what another person went through. To all the bullies out there, we are all damaged is some way. Apparently your damaged past is passed on through pain and hurt you pass on to others. Stop the cycle. Stop passing on the hate you carry. Let go, forgive and move on. Even if the person you need to
forgive is your yourself.
PREFACE:
Ivy Kane begins another new chapter in her life. Another relocation for her mom’s job. High School can be scary enough but starting over as a Junior in a new state, new school… Ivy is petrified. Tyler Clark and Dominic Cavalier have been best friends since the first grade. The boys, both jocks, and buddies with Lena Blair the poplar cheerleader. Ivy, trying to look like another school is no biggie, trips over a book she dropped and falls over it as she toss’s everything she was holding in hers arm’s up in the air and thrown all over the school football field as she was walking to school. Tyler, Dominic and Lena decide to taunt and tease Ivy. Dominic starts to grow a crush on Ivy after he learns more about her. But does he stop tormenting Ivy or does he stand up for her? Ivy ends up devastated, feeling beyond repair and decides to kill herself.
Does Dominic get to her in time or is the letters she leaves behind all he has left of her?
Chapter 1.
Ivy
High School Junior, First Day
I so do NOT want to do this again. How many times can I reinvent myself. I can’t stay any one place long enough to make any friends. I am as awkward as any human can possibly be. I take a deep breath and let it out.
Turning 17 in 2 weeks, and I don’t have a car. My parents recently divorced. Yeah, after 22 years. Why bother getting a divorce after you are married that long beats me. My father found a “Newer Model.” My mom is on a “Hate all Men” kick because of my father. I have to follow the leader when it comes to where my mother decides to live every couple months. She tells me she is trying to “find herself.” Really? Who needs to find themselves in their forties? Where have they been? Of course, as usual, my mom always tells me that I don’t understand. I’m too young or inexperienced or too innocent to understand the hardships she faces.
I think she should try changing up schools every semester and see how she feels about how I can’t understand anything. Kids at my age are brutal. I try to stay invisible. I try to just “blend in” with the crowd. I don’t want to or need any extra attention. All attention does is gets me in trouble or made fun of.
My mom having already left for her new job. I throw clothes around from the boxes I decided not to unpack. Why bother? We should be packing back up in another couple months. I am sick of packing and unpacking. I finally gave up. Best to just live out of my boxes.
I pulled my long chestnut brown hair in a pony tail, looking at my face. Not too great Ivy is what I tell myself every time I look in the mirror. I just look… average. Size 10, some think I am skinny enough, some think I still need to loose weight. I have deep dark brown eyes and I generally dress casual. I can be all girly but cowboy boots I am obsessed with. Last place we lived was on a ranch in Texas. Got to learn how to ride a horse. Actually had my first crush on a boy back there. What about what I want? I didn’t want to leave, yet we up and backed with not much of even a good bye to most. It’s embarrassing and sad I think.
I pull up my jeans and slip on my boots. I tie a sweater shirt around my waist and over my t-shirt that is pink and says Flower Power.
Grabbing a granola bar, and heading out I walk to my new school with my files in tote to bring into the office with all my school records and doctor papers. Apparently every school needs to make sure you are up to date on all vaccinations. LIKE ANIMALS.
I have always been an average student. B’s and C’s. Nothing crazy. Just down the middle. Plain Jane. I just want to get through High School, and move on with my life. I don’t want to keep jumping around with my mother. Maybe I could try getting into a college and be stuck in one place for a few years. Maybe I could get a job some place and live by myself. I’m good at being by myself.
I am so busy thinking to myself, I didn’t realize I was already on the school property. I look around at what looks like the football field and bleachers. And look, Oh goodie, just in time for the Rah-Rah try outs. I laugh to myself at my own joke. Why do I laugh at my own jokes? Oh yeah, because I can’t keep friends for 12 weeks and then end up starting all over. I get tired of telling my story. Where I came from, age, religion, details on my personal life. Boyfriends, hanging out crowds, what circles I go with, who I know. All these questions, and I just don’t even bother telling anyone about the real me. I recently started making up stories about who I am and where I came from. It’s all make believe, but it actually makes me feel better to make up a fictional character and play the part of being someone else since my life is as exciting as the bumps on pickles are. Besides, 11 more weeks, we should be on to our next destination and these people, like the other six cities and states, will never see me again. So no harm done.
I walk quietly past the cheerleaders and their stupid pyramid’s and crossing over the field near the bleachers where a few kids are sitting talking.
I shuffle down the field and as I go, I look over at one of the boys and he doesn’t notice me but he has the best smile I have ever seen on another human being. I actually felt myself smiling while looking at him smile. No sooner did I think that and I tripped and fell, “Umph,” throwing my school files and doctor records all over the field as I lay flat on my stomach, wishing I could just disappear.
All the kids near by are now pointing and laughing at me. I look down over towards the bleachers and see the two boys laughing with the cheerleader and I feel even worse. I look back down, trying to grab as many papers as I can as quick as I can so I can run off the field.
“Here, let me help you.” I hear from behind me and I quickly turn around and plop on my ass to the field as I see that the person wanting to help me is the guy with the killer smile. He hands me some folders and papers he collected from a little distance down since the papers were flying around and I sit there like a moron with my mouth gaping open like I just crawled out of a cave and didn’t know we should be clothed and can speak as humans go.
“Hi, I’m Dominic. Sorry for me laughing. I just thought you looked cute. I didn’t mean to sound mean. Besides, you know how it goes with friends and all, right?” He asked. And of course, even though I no, have never had that problem before, I admit out loud I completely understand. “No problem. Thanks for the help. I’m Ivy. I must look like a fo
ol. I’m sorry.” I quickly said getting everything out in one breath, I stood up and brushing grass and dirt off of me. I looked back up at him and I took a quick breath. This Dominic was so good looking up close. His eyes were green, very bright green. He had short dark, typical jock hair cut. Broad shoulders, he looked solid like a rock! And the cherry on top was he was TALL. He looked about 6’4”. Me at 5’4”, Dominic was a giant and looked so incredible. I bet he had a lot of girlfriends.
“Your first day?” Dominic asks me, smiling.. “Huh? Oh, right.
yeah, first day.” I mumbled making him show off that killer smile. And then we hear the first bell ring. Just my luck. Naturally the bell had to go off at that moment.
“Thanks again.” I say quickly as he turned and walked away. I tell him as I pull everything back into a stack of not knowing what goes with what now, I figure the office can figure it out. As I stand, looking for my quickest route, I notice the cheerleader strolling by with Dominic and another guy. They are all laughing. And then I notice Dominic. He has a smirk on his face and tries to introduce us. “Hey guys, this is… Ivy, right?” Dominic asks me as he smiles down at me. “Ivy these are my friends, Lena, and this is Tyler.” Dominic says as he nods over to his friends, who are still mumbling something to themselves and still laughing.
“Wow, Ivy, you really need to work on your coordination skills don’t you? Are you in those “special” classes? You look like you don’t know how to talk.” Lena spats out at me, looking like she is all high and mighty. Tyler doesn’t make any comments and Dominic looks at me, then down to his shoes, and back to his friends. “Lena, leave her alone, let’s go. We are going to be late again for Mr. Lake’s bullshit class on English.” Dominic states as he shoves his friends along to leave my embarrassing spill scene.
I wanted to kick myself in the ass! I can’t believe I didn’t respond to that Lena Rah-Rah. I must seem like I need special classes. Great. I just pray I don’t see them too often and I pray I don’t see them in my classes.
I finally make it to my first class, History. Ms. Moore is the teacher and I sneak in a bit late because of the office stop with jumbled files of records and transcripts, and some grass to go along with the mess. I found a seat in the back, thank God, and drifted off. After I heard the bell, I snapped out of it and gathered my things and headed for the door. “Miss Kane? Can I have a word with you please?” Ms. Moore asked gently. I stayed behind, waiting for the class to file out.
“I didn’t want to cause you any embarrassment by introducing you to the class. I know you aren’t from around here right?” Ms. Moore asked me softly. I just shook my head and looked down at my boots.
“Look, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always come to my classroom ok? Anytime.” Ms. Moore bent down a bit to look at my face. “Ok, thank you.” I said softly. Ms. Moore finally excused me and I went to my Biology class.
Walking in a daze, trying to just make it through the day, I seen my Biology class had the three musketeers in it. I really could not WAIT (Exaggeration of course) to be in there every single day. I left out a deep sigh, walking into the class and found the only seat available next to Dominic. I smiled, sort of and sat down, pretending to pay attention to the teacher for the entire class.
I felt someone was staring at me and I happened to see out of the corner of my eye that the Rah-Rah looked as if she were shooting poisonous daggers at me. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. I hope this girl leaves me alone was all I could think of.
The teacher gave us 15 minutes to read over some packet of information we were to expect in his classroom and work group information, lab times and extra credit study program with a study partner. This is when Lena began to spit mean comments out at me.
“Ivy, like in Poison Ivy? Are you poisonous?” Lena said in an evil tone, giving me a chill down my spine.
“PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.” I wrote in BIG LETTERS on a piece of notebook paper and held it up to her. “Ha, that’s rich of you to ask instead of demanding.” Lena chuckled out her comment. I noticed Miss Rah-Rah was now talking to another Rah-Rah and they were both glaring at me, laughing and acting all dramatic. They were loud enough for me to hear, which it was obvious that was their intent. “She must shop at thrift stores. Look at her.” The Rah-Rah said to her BFF Rah-Rah. “Ugh, yeah maybe, looks more like garage sale shit.” The other one said and they both started laughing.
I didn’t understand why this girl took so much pleasure out of making fun of me. I never did anything to hurt her. Why is she in my face every time I see her? I wanted her to just let it out and get this over with. I didn’t have a clue what was wrong.
Lena practically tackled me in the hall after class. “What in the hell are you doing flirting with someone who is WAY OUT of your LEAGUE?” Lena asked in a tone that sounded like she was Satan’s spawn love child or something. “Who am I flirting with?” I asked not believing the nerve of this girl accusing me of doing something I would never do. “Dominic is not your type and you Poison IVY are certainly NOT his. Leave him alone. Or you will regret it Ivy.” Lena said, practically hovering over me. “I wasn’t flirting with Dominic. Please leave me alone.” I asked nicely. I tried to see if Dominic was around some place to help me. Nada, no dice. Then she mad some “hmm” sound and “accidentally” knocked my books out of my arms. “Oh, Ivy you should really be more careful.” Lena said, making the hall roar all together in laughter. I seen Bobby turn down the hall way at that moment and everyone seem to pretend they were busy again for some reason. Apparently Dominic had some power over this bunch of degenerates. And I really didn’t understand why everyone acted so mean all the time. I really didn’t bother anyone. Ever. Yet, teens can be so cruel. I don’t believe our parents have any clue at how vicious their beautiful kids could be so hurtful.
“Hey you ok?” a soft voice spoke, leaning down to help me. I smiled. “Thanks, just lost my grip is all.” I said to the chubby short girl wearing glasses. “Yeah, well I seen how that really happened. I’m Becca.” She said softly. “Hi Becca, thanks so much for your help. My name is Ivy.” I filled in as we both stood up. Dominic walked passed us, pretending to not even notice me. I felt my heart drop a little when he passed us by and didn’t attempt to at least look at me. I mean, nothing.
“Hey care to do lunch together or do you have it in a different period?” Becca asked eagerly. “Nope, I have lunch now, thanks I would love to join you.” As we turned to walk away, Dominic made a casual turn to slap some other jock on the back and looked back at me and winked. I felt my cheeks get warm instantly and I quickly turned back the opposite direction as Becca was continuing her discussion with me that I had no clue of what she was rattling off about. I see this Dominic guy and I go blank.
Becca introduced me to her table of unimportant people as she called them. “The jocks, and Rah-Rah’s act like no one else is important. Labeling us the “un-importants.” Becca spoke with such drama and character. It was easy to like her. She was always trying to make her friends laugh. She seemed happy in her own skin. I admired her, and wished I was more like her. But I do know that just because you have a smile on your face, doesn’t mean you are smiling on the inside. Judging a book by its cover is not fair, and very dangerous.
We all finished our lunches and I had caught a quick peek at Dominic with his foot ball pals. All laughing and telling strange looking stories with their facial expressions. Made me giggle to myself as I walked past them at a safe distance. I love people watching. I love to study human behavior. It was interesting to see how certain people interacted with others, visa versa. We all exchanged phone numbers, programmed them into our phones and headed back to our routine for the day. I thanked Becca again and told her I would call her maybe after school as I head back to my locker with all my new books I wished I could just throw in the garbage.
As I made it to English, I was grateful to God, none of the three musketeers were in my class, and I began to relax a little. I suppose knowing
what classes you had and who was in them, put my mind at better ease. The class went by in a breeze. I had that Mr. Lake for class as my teacher. Like Dominic was explaining he had in his first period. Lucky for me, I had only two classes left. Music/Art and Gym. I was happy gym was my last period so if I wanted to go home, I could from that point and hurry to take a shower as soon as I got home, or stayed and ran around the track after school. I didn’t want to really try out, per say for any athletic sports that required my time after school. Nope, I enjoyed being alone. Besides, I have a great many years experience doing just that, being alone. And I am positive no one could do it better than I could.
I went inside the class and found a seat. I wasn’t really paying attention and didn’t realize the class began. When I looked up, Dominic was sitting next to me, smiling when he noticed me looking at him. I snapped my head back to face the front and slammed my mouth shut from the gaping hole I left it in when I was staring at Dominic.
After class rang to be released for its cages, I scrambled to get out of the class as soon as possible before I said and did anything stupid again. “Hey, what’s your next class?” Dominic asked me. First I didn’t think he was actually talking to me. I looked around and then behind me. I turned back to face Dominic when I heard him let out a low chuckle. “Ivy, I was talking to you silly.” Once again, making my cheeks feel all warm and pink at the very least I was sure of.
“”Oh, um… Gym.” I told him putting everything in my back pack. Walking towards the door, Dominic started to say something when we both made it out in the hall, but the jocks took him into their grasp and he vanished then. I slammed everything into my locker for this time, just to see what was to happen in gym class. Can’t wait.
I made it in the gym quickly and changed into my designated gym attire, walking back out to class I noticed the boys practicing basket ball over on the courts. Dominic was playing and shoved the ball at someone when he looked up and smiled at me. I smiled, but with swift movements, planted myself in the back of the class of girls sitting on the gym floor.