by G. V. Steitz
He keeps his arms around me, he tries to sooth me, runs his hands through my hair. I don’t want to even pull myself from his body incase he disappears.
“Ivy, I’m always with you silly girl. You are never alone. I watch over you all the time Ivy League.” Mitchell tease’s me like he used to.
“Mitchell, I miss your voice, I miss you protecting me. Why didn’t I die instead of you?” I ask, still crying I can barely get the words out.
“It’s wasn’t and still isn’t your time to go sweetie. Please listen to me. I need you to strong, for both of us. I know things are going rough right now for you. Don’t give up. You don’t have to worry, I won’t leave you alone. I promise. I promise Ivy, I’m right here. Please, don’t die. I’m right here.” Mitchell kept saying like it was a mantra. Continuing the same words. “I’m right here. Please don’t die, and I promise, I won’t leave you alone.” Over and over and over. And then, the fog began to lift, and he never said anything other than those same things over and over and I no longer seen anything. It was all dark, and the voice calling me got stronger and stronger and I heard myself saying the same things, still holding Mitchell I could feel his big strong body holding on to me still. “Please Mitch, please don’t leave me. Please take me with you. Please, I’m so alone. I’m so scared. Please…”
“I’m right here Ivy. I promise I won’t leave. Please don’t die. Please stay here. I promise I won’t leave.” I kept hearing. Except I began to hear Mitch’s voice sounding different. I pulled myself away a little and opened my tear swollen eyes and found myself lying in warm arms, still holding me and rocking me on my bed in my room.
“Ivy, please don’t die. I’m right here Ivy. I promise I won’t leave.” Wasn’t Mitch’s voice this time. It was Dominic’s and he was holding me, rocking me, cooing me wrapped in a blanket. I looked around everywhere confused. “Mitch? What happened to Mitch? Where did he go? He was with me.” I frantically said in a shaky voice, searching all over for him. And then I finally realized. I was dreaming. I was dreaming about Mitch and Dominic was the one that was holding me and talking to me. It was just too much and I was so embarrassed. “Oh, my God, I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry… I didn’t… Please, just go. I’m fine. I just… I just…” I couldn’t talk anymore. I was just crying too much for how pathetic I looked. I just dropped my head between our two bodies and covered my face with my hands and cried harder.
“Shhh, it’s going to be ok Ivy. I promise it will be better. I won’t hurt. I promise.” Dominic said trying to soothe me.
“Wait, what are you doing here? You left, you dropped me off. Why are you here?” I looked down and seen I was wrapped in a blanket and I still had the towel around me as well from the shower.
“Ivy, I came back to drop off your half of the pizza you didn’t finish and I was calling you and calling and I didn’t have your cell number and I tried the door and it was unlocked. I came in, heard the shower going and I was banging on the bathroom door and you didn’t respond. I got worried so I tried the door, it opened and you were laying in a towel on the rug on the bathroom floor and the water was still running. I tried to wake you, I seen blood everywhere. Ivy, you scared the shit out of me.” Dominic explained. I kept my head down from the shame I felt that he found out my secret.
“I’m fine. Thanks.” I whispered. Hoping he would leave it at that. That hope was certainly short lived.
“Fine?” You are anything but fine Ivy. When I jumped down to you laying there I thought you were dead for Christ sake! Then all of a sudden, you were crying and talking in your sleep I guess. You were dreaming. You were talking to Mitchell. I tried to pick you up and you held on to me for dear life.” Dominic said as he raked his fingers through my hair, pulling it carefully from my face, moving the loose strands behind my shoulder and tucked behind my ear. “I was talking to you Ivy. You were talking to Mitch, thinking I was him. So I came back, I wrapped the first thing I found in your bedroom, sorry its your comforter, and I picked you up to bring you in your room. When I picked you up, you wrapped your four limbs around me like I was pulling you out of a sinking ship. I didn’t want you to get scared if I pulled you away.” Dominic explained softly.
After hearing his side of what happened, I realized the entire time I was talking to Mitchell, I was really talking to Dominic. And when I thought Mitchell was holding me, it was Dominic holding me. When I heard someone calling my name, and yelling out in the distance, it wasn’t Mitchell, it was Dominic. And when I thought Mitchell was talking to me, it was really Dominic saying those things to me. How embarrassing. I groaned. “Dominic, I am really sorry. I feel so embarrassed for you hearing and seeing all that. I never meant for you to see me like that. I must of fell asleep.”
“Well, it looks like you passed out. Why are you cutting yourself Ivy? Why are you hurting yourself?” Dominic asked me softly, like I was a caged animal trying not to frighten me more.
I still don’t look up at him. I just shrug my shoulders and try to climb off of him now.
“Stay. You are not getting away. I am staying here tonight.” Dominic stated firmly.
I shot my face right up to look at him. “Oh, no.. You need to.” I began before getting cut off.
“I am staying, and I don’t need to do or be anywhere. But here. So just put that thought out of your pretty little head and start explaining.
Great another pity moment. Now he is for sure babysitting me. “How about you let me get dressed first. I feel sort of strange in a blanket and towel. God only knows how much of me you really seen.” I say, hoping to get an idea from Dominic’s expression.
Dominic smiled. “Fine, I will go out to the kitchen and make some tea or hot chocolate or milk? Have any of those things or like any of them? Or do we need to take a ride and get you something to drink to relax you?” Dominic asked thoughtfully.
There is a kettle on the stove for heating water, and I have all three. I don’t care. If you have something, I will have the same. Easier for you to snoop around the kitchen cabinets to find the items you need rather than me trying to explain.” I tell him quickly, hoping for a private moment.
“Fine, but if you are not out in five minutes, I am coming back in here to get you. So you better get moving.” Dominic says as he picks me up and plops me down on my bed next to where he was sitting. “We have a lot to talk about and you are not getting out of any of it, so make sure you are comfortable.” Dominic instructs me as he moves towards the door to leave. He stops by the door and turns around and looks right into my eyes. “I made sure not to look at anything when I found you in the bathroom. I didn’t want to move you with out having something more on your than that tiny little towel you had wrapped around you. So you have nothing to worry about. Ok?” Dominic puts me at complete ease as soon as he explains that to me.
“Thanks Dominic. I promise I will talk. Just give me a couple minutes. I will be right out.” I tell him, walking over to my closet.
Dominic moves through the door, closing it behind him and I let out a long sigh. “Oh God!” I say shaking my head. I can’t believe he came back. It makes me smile.
Chapter 4.
Dominic
Starting Over
I nearly had a heart attack when I found Ivy laying all over the bathroom floor. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. She is into cutting herself. I couldn’t believe I seen what I did with her open wounds and blood. When I got down to floor, I checked to make sure she had a pulse and all of a sudden Ivy started crying and screaming and when I ran to get a blanket to cover her, I debated on calling 911 immediately. I should have, but I have been a life guard for a few years. Certified in CPR, and a few other things. I have my Red Cross Certification card. So I checked her pulse and seen where her cuts were. Not deep enough for stitches most likely. I didn’t see any where any pills or anything, so when I picked her up, Ivy went hysterical and wrapped both arms and legs around my entire body, crying nonstop. Then she was talking to Mitche
ll, she thought I was her brother holding her. I wrapped her up and continued to carry her into her bedroom. Once we made it in there, Ivy continued talking and crying to Mitchell, but it was really me that was answering her pleads and it was my voice saying the things I would pray Mitchell would of said to her when she was begging him to take her with him. Broke my heart to hear everything she was telling her brother in her dream. She really doesn’t believe anyone loves her here and thinks she really is all alone. Well, this shit has to stop. She convinced me to let her get dressed. Now I am going to go outside to let my parents know what is going on, mostly, and I plan on staying here with her unless she wants to come back by me.
Luckily my father was the one to answer the phone. I knew it was getting late, not yet my curfew, but getting close. I wanted to give them some information about my whereabouts and try to keep them under the radar for awhile. After I explained the situation, and Ivy loosing her brother to cancer, she was really missing him. Ivy’s mom out of town for work and this was her birthday weekend to celebrate but her mom had to leave for business last minute. I gave them the address here and told them I would try to get Ivy tom come home with me. I kept my phone on just in case they wanted to call. And then Ivy came out. I sighed a deep breath of relief when I seen her.
“Hey, you clean up pretty good.” I told her winking sat her. “I found hot chocolate. Sound good?” I ask, warming the kettle I just filled with water from the tap. I begin to put together the mugs of chocolate powder.
“Why are you still here?” Ivy asks me, fidgeting, playing with her hair, which I noticed she does when she is nervous. “I mean, I appreciate the pizza, and making sure I didn’t die or something.” She continues and I don’t want to give her the wrong idea of trying to do anything out of “pity” no, this isn’t pity. Ivy moves over to the living room, and even if she tried, she couldn’t get herself in anymore of a scrunched up ball.
I follow her in the living room, waiting to see what she does. I stay leaning against the walk through to wait for the water to boil on the stove. I cross my arms over my shoulders, watching her as she notices her journal still laying out. She shoots her eyes up to mine as she grabs her book shutting it and clutching it to her chest.
“I didn’t read it. I promise.” I say softly, holding my hand up like I was swearing in at court to tell the truth. Immediately Ivy relaxes her shoulders. She leans over and puts the journal on the coffee table and pulls herself back into a ball. “If you think I am here because of pity… I’m not. True, I feel bad. I even feel kind of responsible for you feeling so down because of school and all. But I don’t pity you. I called my parents to let them know where I am…” I started explaining before Ivy just jumped in my train of thought in full panic mode.
“YOU DID WHAT!” She shouted, jumping up from the couch and stormed over to stand right in front of me. “What did you tell your parents?” Ivy questioned as she began to pace back and forth in front of me.
“Ivy, will you please relax? I just…”
“You just what? I am not some charity case ok? I don’t need you, or your parents or your help. I don’t need anyone. I don’t…”
At that moment to calm her down, I moved in and grabbed her waist, pulled her into my chest and kissed her. Ivy froze and at least I didn’t hear a peep from her. I didn’t take the kiss any deeper, I just needed her to calm down. I slowly pulled myself from her, looking down into her deep pools of chocolate brown eyes. She still is frozen and not talking. Making my chuckle. “That’s better.” I whisper and break away at the sound of the kettle whistle. “Hot chocolate is coming up.” I told her smiling as I turned to fix our drinks, leaving Ivy stunned.
“What…was…that…?” Ivy stutters out as she moves over to the door looking over towards me. I smiled as I fixed our chocolate drinks. “Marshmallows?” I ask holding up one for her to see.” Ivy just nodded making me smile.
“To answer your question, that was called a kiss.” I say trying to not laugh at my own joke since I think I am funny.
Ivy rolled her eyes and stalked off back to the couch again.
“Here we go, two hot chocolate’s with marshmallows.” I sing out as I hand Ivy her steaming hot mug. I ease myself on the couch’s opposite end to make sure Ivy knows I am not planning on hurting her or anything.
Ivy grabs the TV’s remote and turns the TV on and starts to nervously flip channels. I let out a sigh, full knowing what she is up to. I lean over and place my mug on the coffee table. I get up from my spot on the couch and walk over to her, grabbing the remote I click it off, and take the remote back with me and sit back down over on my end in neutral territory. Picking up my mug again, blowing on the hot drink before taking a sip, I look back up to Ivy. She is staring at me like I am some werewolf and doesn’t know how I can talk.
“I didn’t tell my parents anything of your current condition. I explained that you were new to school, and had just celebrated her 17 birthday and she was sad because her brother past away from leukemia and I wanted to cheer her up. So just relax.” I say, taking another sip of my drink.
“And what is my “current condition” in your expert opinion.” She asks snotty to keep her defenses up. I don’t know how I didn’t see this before now. I can’t believe no one else can see this frighten little girl like I can.
“Do you want to go back to my place? You can spend the night. In the morning we can have breakfast with my family.” I ask her, ignoring her question.
“No I don’t want to have a sleep over and have breakfast with your family. Now will you tell me what in the hell you are doing? Are you hanging around waiting for the padded truck to pick me up?” She snapped at me. I just shook my head. “Nope, no padded truck. Just me, no one is coming here. I only offered you to come back by me, my mom is a woman, she might be better to talk to. Plus it would get me out of listening to her babbling on and on about if I slept with you.” I answer making Ivy just burst out laughing. “That’s better. I like how you look happy and laughing.” I tell her, winking at her. And finally she seems to relax a bit more and drink her hot chocolate not all wrapped up in a ball.
Chapter 5.
Ivy
Accepting the Olive Branch
I couldn’t help laughing at Dominic’s answer to getting out of talking to his mom. That was so funny, and it relaxed me a bit. “That was so funny. Thanks for that.” I said still laughing.
“So it is really that funny the thought of sleeping with me huh?” Dominic asks in a joking tone. I know he isn’t hurt by my laughing.
“No, I would think it would be more funny for you to have anyone thinking you slept with me. I think that is what is funny.” I answer shrugging my shoulders, finishing my hot chocolate, leaning over I put the mug on the table. I sit back in the couch and look back over to Dominic who is watching me with a grin.
“What?”
“You have a little chocolate on your lip.” He says with a chuckle. I feel like an idiot again. I lick my lip and move my hand across them. “How’s that?”
“Still there.” He says taking his last gulp of hot chocolate and leans over and puts his mug down on the table.
“How about now?” I ask after repeating the same ministrations.
Dominic let’s out a dramatic sigh and scoots over to sit next to me on the couch. “I see I need to help you find the spot here.” He says as he leans in closer to me and wraps his fingers in my hair at the bottom of my head, and runs the pad of his thumb over my lips while staring at them.
“Did…” I swallow. “Did you get it?” I ask in a whisper only he would be able to hear because he was so close to my face.
“Not yet.” He whispers back and looks up into my eyes, and he looks sooooo good, I feel like I could melt into a puddle. Dominic looks back to my lips and licks his lips, causing me look at his tongue dragging across his bottom lip slowly. I think I actually let out a little whimper. Dominic leans in and pressed his lips to mine. So softly, so gentle. I moaned and relaxed m
ore as I brought my hand up between our bodies and placed the palm of my hand on his chest.
Dominic’s kiss slowly turned more deeper as he ran his tongue across my lips, I opened my mouth sensing he wanted more.
And more he did in fact want. Making me move into his personal space as he pulled me into his arms. I am not sure how long we were going at the tongue tango, but I found myself completely unwound from my earlier walls I built up and he was successfully knocking them down one by one and I couldn’t seem to pull away to stop him.
I barely registered that I was some how lifted up and placed back down on Dominic’s lap, facing him with my knees knelt and straddling his thighs. Dominic wrapped his arms around me and ran his fingers down my spine, moving his fingers down each vertebrae as he went, making me even more needy of his touch. Dominic’s attention was solely on me and I couldn’t believe I was making out with the class jock quarter back on the varsity team. And as if he could read my mind, he pulled away and looked into my eyes.
“Do you want me to stop because I don’t. This isn’t about anyone or anything but you and me. I promise Ivy, I won’t hurt you.” Dominic whispered holding our gaze into each other’s eyes, waiting for me to give my reply. I watched him stare and moved slowly back into him. “I hope you won’t.” I whispered touching my lips to his, and he moved in and took my lips into his and kissed me deeper making me moan deeper. Dominic placed each of his hands on either side of my hips, tenderly kneading my sides as I willingly followed his lead, lost in his kiss and his touch. He felt like a balm, soothing all my burned skin and bruises I have carried around for so long. I moved my arms up to his shoulders and began to move my fingers through his hair. This kissing ignited something in Dominic. He pulled me into him more and thrust his hips up for me to feel his arousal.