Beautiful to Me.

by G. V. Steitz

  I felt really bad that she blamed herself for my troubles. She and my father got me help and I worked very hard to put myself back together.

  When I first found out I was pregnant with Dominic’s baby, I immediately stopped hurting myself for that one reason alone. Finding out I was carrying his child, immediately gave me a reason to live. My parents respected my wishes to keep my secret and supported my decision to keep the baby. Thank God I have her. I really can’t imagine my life without her.

  My mother did well for herself in her career with the company who relocated her back to Texas. She ultimately decided to give her own business in the ad industry a go, and is a very successful business.

  I had dropped out of high school to have Ava, and ended up getting my GED. After I had that completed, I started taking night courses at the junior college and received my associates degree in business.

  Dominic was my inspiration. He had his degree in business and I wanted to make sure to make him and my daughter proud. Even if he never would know one way or the other.

  “Will you please relax cupcake.” Craig said rubbing my shoulder as we were navigated to a parking area at the stadium.

  “Uncle Craig?” Ava asked politely from her car seat in the back seat.

  “Yes Love.” He answered her, making her smile at his special names he called her.

  “What is wrong with Mommy?” She asked scrunching her nose up making some weird face that made Craig laugh.

  I rolled my eyes and my little nosey rosey back there.

  “Mommy is just excited to see a friend from when she was in school a LONG, LONG time ago. HEY! That hurt.” He whined after I pinched the skin under his arm. Making Ava squeal and laugh at us.

  “We have arrived love bug!” Craig said to Ava, making Ava clap as she made record time unsnapping her seat belt herself now since she had explained to me that she was no longer a baby and now was “officially,” yes, her words not mine, OFFICALLY a big girl.

  We made good time in finding our seats. 50 yard line, second row.

  “Craig, how on earth could you afford these seats?” I asked with extreme worry he sold his left nut for these seats or something.

  Craig winked at me and explained it was a simple investment he was sure it would pay out ten fold. Also, securing his future with season passes after the deal was sealed. I laughed and rolled my eyes. He is a big dreamer. Sometimes I wonder if he would recognize me or remember me. Stupid I know, but still…

  The weather was perfect and the announcer came up. This was mine and Ava’s first professional game to see. To see her father play the sport he was so gifted at, and had no idea of his little package I had.

  I remember finding out I was pregnant for the first time, as I looked down at Ava, I play with her hair and she looks at me like I sprayed paint on her. “Fine, I will stop touching you.” I said, trying to get the snarl off her little chubby face. I had missed a few days of my pill. Turned out the last time we were actually together, was the time I was blessed with my little angel. I had not found out until I was back in Texas for a month.

  We were seated on the side where the cowboys sat, and I was literally shaking in my boots when the players all came in the stadium charging.

  The moment I seen Dominic run onto the field, watching him experience this special moment with him, was really amazing. I began to cry and Ava grabbed my hand and squeezed it. She looked up at me crying with a little frown and I laughed. Picking her up she wrapped her little arms around my neck and pouted. Puffed out little warm breaths on my face with she looked back in my eyes.

  “It’s ok Mommy, don’t be scared. Everyone is just clapping because they are happy.” She explained to me, thinking I was afraid of the roar of the crowd.

  “Thank Goodness I have you here with me baby girl. I would have been really scared.” I said, kissing her little cheeks and brought her back down.

  Dominic was playing quarter back as he had throughout his entire school history from grade school all the way through college. He looked magnificent. I shivered when I looked at him. He was probably 6’4” and really built. Really well. His dark hair and green eyes blazing. He was any woman’s fantasy that was for sure.

  Half time came, and I must have been in a daze because all of a sudden I found popcorn flying into my lap and hair from the peanut gallery to my right. Slowly I turned in disbelief and had my mouth open. Craig got a piece in making all of us laugh.

  Third quarter I thought Dominic actually seen me there. I got so scared, I ducked and waited for a minute, pretending I dropped something and oh, I had to tie my gym shoe also while I was down there. Luckily, when I got back up, he was no longer there. He made a pass, and I scream and cheered. He jerked his head, and looked over towards our area. Before he got to our seats as he scanned the stadium, I bent down in half and stayed down for a couple minutes. I had butterflies banging inside my stomach after that incident. I was surprised he noticed my voice. Scared me shitless.

  “Mommy, is that your friend looking over here?” She asked me as I was bent down.

  “Hmm?” I turned my head towards her while I was still bent over in half hiding like some pathetic school girl with a mad crush. “Ah… Yep, that is him angel.”

  “Wow. Will I get to meet him?” Ava asked me and I looked over at Craig, as he tried to not laugh out loud, I raised my eye brow at him and looked back down to Ava. “Well, we can sure try.” I said, making Ava clap and I looked back over to Craig who was trying to pretend he didn’t hear or see us.

  The game ended, and I was near hyperventilating now.

  We stayed in our seats, and waited for a bit. I knew there was going to be a press conference and the general congrats flying around and showering, changing and all that took time.

  Craig got Ava all hyped up on cotton candy, so she was jumping around like a crazy little ant. After the stadium was nearly cleared out, we began our walk of my shame. I couldn’t think straight. Craig practically dragged me as he held Ava in his arms.

  Once we made it to the area we were allowed to wait, Ava was asking 50 questions and I didn’t want to get too specific at the moment. Craig was trying to calm me down and was holding Ava for me on his shoulders making her squeal and laugh, giving me a calming effect wash over me. And then he and two other players exited their locker room, and began walking down the tunnel towards us. There were others with similar badges scattered around in the same area we were in and I was sort of hiding behind some people at the moment. That was until Craig pushed me through the two people in front of us, and Ava screamed. “Mommy, there is your special friend!” I nearly passed out when Dominic jerked his head as soon as he heard Ava, and seen me. He froze dead in his tracks.

  I smiled, well I hoped whatever expression I was giving was a smile because I couldn’t feel my face. My heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to have a stroke.

  “Ivy? Is that you?” Dominic yelled out at me and squinted and began to slowly walk over to the roped off area we were standing. I nodded and Ava screamed.

  Dominic quickly shot his eyes up to Ava, and then to Craig who was holding her. He walked over towards us, smiled at some other fans who were begging for his autograph. I smiled when I first heard someone ask for that. I think he was as surprised as I was. He took the little boys marker and football and signed it, ruffling up the little boys hair, shaking the parents hands.

  Our side of loyal fans cleared out and the four of us stood there staring at each other like we were behind glass and we were looking at an animal at the zoo.

  “That was you in the stands?” He asked. I nodded. Still afraid to use my voice. Craig cleared his throat, snapping me out of my daze.

  “Good Lord, I am so sorry. Craig, this is Dominic. Dominic this is Craig. They both looked at each other. Dominic swallowed and held his hand out to Craig.

  “Hey man, you were incredible out there. I was really happy to see you play your first game today.” Craig said as they finished shaking han
ds.

  “Thanks. That is very nice of you to say. And who might this be?” Dominic asked as he looked up at his daughter he had no idea existed.

  “My name is Ava. And my mommy told me you were her special friend, so we came to say hello today.” Ava proudly explained making me close my eyes, and silently I chuckled.

  “Isn’t that right Mommy?” She asked me.

  “You are correct sweet pea. Ava, this is Mr. Cavalier.” I introduced her to him. Ava melted my heart.

  “It’s very nice to meet you.” She said as she offered Dominic her hand, smiling at him.

  Dominic looked like he was confused or shell shocked. Craig had dark hair like Ava and myself, so he could be thinking Craig was her father. I notice Dominic looked at my hands to see if I was wearing a ring. I twitched my lips trying to keep my smile and laugh at bay.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Ava.” He said slowly. Finally breaking his stare up at his little girl he took my hand and pulled me to him and hugged me. He kissed my cheek and Let out a long sigh. “Ivy, it’s so so good to see you.” He whispered in my ear, melting my insides.

  “Same here.” I said back into his neck before we parted.

  “So… Are you and your family visiting the area?” He asked carefully.

  I slowly nodded yes. “Nope. We live here.” I said, surprising him.

  “Ah, Iv… Ava and I are just going to go take a little walk.” Craig offered.

  “I hope to meet you again.” Ava said to him as she waved at Dominic, bouncing and laughing with Craig as he carried her off, making her giggle with his weird noises and voices he made.

  Dominic was still holding my hand. Causing me to look down at our hands.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was still holding your hand.” Dominic said, laughing as he pulled his hand away.

  I immediately felt an emptiness I had not felt since I left him in high school with Dominic withdrawing his hand from mine.

  “Husband?” He asked looking back over to Craig and Ava.

  “No, no… Just a really amazing friend.” I confirmed, making Dominic smile.

  “Your daughter I assume?” He asked cautiously once again.

  “Yes. Ava is… my daughter.” I swallowed. I nearly said our daughter.

  “Can I take you all out to dinner?” He asked, looking concerned I was some sort of dream or something.

  “Ah, well…” I said looking back over to Craig. “Craig, dinner?” I asked not sure what I wanted.

  “You know what, I was just telling Ava, I was going to beg you to let us go have hot fudge sundae’s… How about I take Ava out for ice cream, meet you back at the house later?” He said with a smile.

  Ava was clapping for ice cream, and I narrowed my eyes to slits glaring at Craig, making the two of them laugh at me.

  “Ok… Ava, you be good for Uncle Craig. Uncle Craig, bed time is at 8 PM! And Ava, please give Uncle Craig a break and pick three books out at bed time and not ten.” I said to her and Craig picked up Ava off his shoulders and handed her to me to say good bye.

  “Ok, Mommy. But just this once. You know I need to hear all my princess stories and Uncle Craig reads them the bestest!” She said with a dreamy smile

  “Yes, he is the bestest, that’s for sure sweet pea.” I said, giving Craig the evil eye as I hugged Ava, and planted smooches all over her face before handing her back to Craig.

  “I hope we meet again Ava.” Dominic said to her.

  “Don’t worry, we will. I can tell.” She offered.

  “Ok, then.. We are off for ice cream Love.” Ava clapped and Craig leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered in my ear. “Just relax, and please make sure he knows I am not your husband. The hand shake nearly broke my hand.” He said, kissing me again. I laughed really hard. Craig pulled back and gave me a wink.

  “Nice to meet you Dominic.” Craig said, holding his hand out. I think Craig winced when they shook hands and I chuckled again.

  Dominic and I watched as Craig galloped into the sunset with Ava. Ava yelling, “fasser, fasser Uncle Craig.”

  “Wow. How old is your daughter?” Dominic asked.

  “Ava, she’s five.” I said as I nodded. Not sure what to do.

  “Well, here.” Dominic said as he unhooked the rope and held it open for me to walk through to his side of the walk way.

  I walked through and waited for Dominic to hook the rope again.

  We began to walk side by side. Both of us, dressed in jeans. Thank God. Both of us stealing looks back and forth to one another. Dominic still was holding a huge duffle bag over his shoulder as we walked towards the reserved parking area for the players.

  “I can’t believe you are here. I ah…” He laughed, scratching his head. “I don’t know what to say, or where to begin. I feel like we are back in high school.” He said as we walked slowly.

  “How are your parents? Your brothers?” I asked as I stuffed my hands in my jeans, nervous I would reach for his hand.

  Dominic laughed. “They are all doing very well. I have a bunch of nieces and nephews. Michael and David are both married. Joseph and I are both bachelors. Mom and Dad retired. They live in Florida. They wanted to come but Dad ended up needing stay off his legs still after having knee surgery last week.” He shrugged.

  We reached Dominic’s car. “Impressive.” I said as I looked back over to Dominic with a raised eye brow.

  “Well, I have a thing for cars. It’s an Aston Martin.”

  “Yeah, my father has one.” I told him, making Dominic look at me in surprise. “Really?”

  “Really.” I seconded that comment, laughing.

  Dominic opened my door, and a few moments later, we began to drive off.

  We ended up at some hole in the wall diner. One of those 24/7 places. It felt like old times. I couldn’t of been more happy to not have to worry about how I was dressed. Especially being as nervous as I was.

  We both ordered, Dominic told the waitress we would be there for a long while since we had a lot to catch up on, and gave her a hundred dollar bill before we even ordered. I started to laugh when she just about fell to the floor to kiss his feet.

  We both ordered coffee to start. Letting the waitress know we would order in a little bit, she said we could sit there for 24 hours and not care, just flag her when we were ready or needed a refill before leaving us.

  “Where do we begin? I have a million questions.” Dominic started our conversation.

  “Ok, let’s start where we left off.” I suggested.

  Chapter 13.

  Dominic

  Dreams DO Come True.

  I went into complete shock when I first seen Ivy standing there. I could of sworn I heard her in the stands third quarter. When I looked up towards the area, I didn’t see her. I thought maybe it was a hopeful dream I was having.

  Now here we are, in some off the wall diner, and I am nervous as hell when she tells me to start our conversation where we last left off.

  “Ok, I felt so bad you wouldn’t let me at least explain what happened the last day you seen me. Lena…” I tried to begin.

  “Look, it’s not important what I thought or what happened with you two.”

  “Oh, it really does matter.” I said, looking very intent on making a point. So I sat back and waited.

  “I never cheating on you. Never! Lena seen me at practice. She skipped over on some mission apparently and started crying about some idiot she was seeing from another school. He was supposedly being abusive and she said he hit her. All of a sudden she doubled over and started wailing hysterically. I leaned over and rubbed her back. I felt bad for her. I had known her nearly my entire childhood. I wanted to seem like a supportive friend. I crouched down to tell her to get out of the relationship, that she was only hurting herself by staying. Next think I know, she leans in and whispers in my ear that she had feelings for me. I jerked her forward for her to see how crazy I thought she was and told her without a single doubt she had a
zero percent chance of her and I ever getting together. Right after that, she literally threw herself at me and kissed me. She knocked me on my ass from the force she used to tackle me. So conveniently she looks up and address’s you.” I explained suddenly realizing Ivy’s eyes filling with tears, and finally they began to silently fall onto her cheeks. I reached over the table and brushed her cheeks gently with the back of my hand, running my knuckles across her soft skin making Ivy shiver.

  “I’m so sorry for doing that to you. I was so upset that my mother sprung on the news of us leaving minutes before I found Lena all over you. I ran from home to find you. I didn’t want to wait to see you that night at the pizza place. Then Lena had this smug victorious look on her face. I figured she was better suited for you to begin with.” Ivy explains, which made absolutely no sense to me that she would think that.

  “I loved you Ivy. How would you think I would ever hurt you?” I chuckled at what I was about to say. I looked down at my mug of coffee, running my finger around the rim of the mug. “I never forgot about you Ivy. I never got over you. That still hasn’t changed.” I softly admitted to her. Looking up at her, “I never stopped loving you Ivy.”

  Ivy took a quick gasp of air and shook her head. “I never meant to hurt you Dominic. I… I was trying to prevent holding you back like my father assumed I was going to do to you.” She told me.

  Without looking up, my back to the waitress, I waved a couple fingers in the air. Our waitress flew over with the coffee pot, refilling our mugs before dashing off.

  “Is Craig Ava’s father?” I asked, worrying how much I was over stepping by asking her such a personal question, after having not seen her in so long.

  “No. Craig was actually my first real crush. Remember I told you I had been with one other person before you?” She asked me, which I did in fact remember. I nodded.

  “Well, Craig was that one person.” She told me.

  I stared at her a moment before lowering my head, nodding. “ I see.” I said trying to figure out where to go from there.