by Marie Force
“She can’t lose this baby, Slim. She’ll never survive another loss.”
He wanted to assure Luke that Sydney wasn’t going to lose the baby, but he couldn’t know that for sure. “I know it’s hard not to go to worst-case scenario, but at the first sign of trouble, you got her here as fast as you could. There’s nothing else either of you could’ve done that you didn’t do.”
Luke sagged into his chair. “She’s been so happy, making plans, talking about names. It’s like she’s finally allowed herself to hope again.”
Slim ached at the thought of that hope being ripped away from someone who had already had more than her share of heartache, having lost her first husband and her children in a drunk-driving accident several years ago.
“I talked her into trying for the baby. If she loses it…”
“Luke, buddy, you gotta be positive for her.”
Luke bent his head and dropped it into his hands.
Slim rested a hand on Luke’s back, offering what comfort he could and knowing it was nowhere near enough.
“I’m so glad you were on the island and able to bring us over.”
“So am I.”
Taking a deep breath, Luke sat up. “I hope I didn’t mess up your day too badly.”
“Don’t give it a thought. What I was doing will keep until later.” He couldn’t wait to get back to Erin, to resume where they’d left off, to kiss her and touch her. Okay, enough of those thoughts, or he was going to have an embarrassing situation to contend with.
“So you’re sticking around for the holidays?” Luke asked while staring at the door to the exam rooms.
Sensing his friend was desperately seeking something to take his mind off what might be happening with Sydney, Slim said, “There’s this lighthouse keeper, you see.”
Luke tore his gaze off the doors to look at Slim. “You and Erin? Really?”
“Seems that way.”
“I wondered if anything would come of that after Alex and Jenny’s wedding, but then you left.”
“And I’ve talked to her almost every day since.”
Luke returned his attention to the doors that stood between him and the woman he loved. “Wow, that’s awesome. She seems really great.”
“She is, but she’s really guarded, too. She’s been through a lot in her life. You know that Jenny’s fiancé, who died on 9/11, was Erin’s twin, right?”
“Yeah, I did know that.”
“From what I can gather, her life has been in somewhat of a tailspin since then. I’m trying to take it slow, but whenever I’m with her, I seem to forget about that plan.”
“It was like that with me and Syd when we first got together, too. After losing her family the way she did, she wasn’t sure she wanted to risk her heart again. I’m glad she finally decided to take the leap.”
“She is, too. You guys are great together.”
As if he couldn’t bear to stay seated any longer, Luke got up and began to pace. “What could be taking so long?”
“I’m sure they’re just being thorough.”
Luke rubbed his chest. “I feel like I’m having a heart attack.”
“It’s probably anxiety. Try taking some deep breaths.”
Luke was still rubbing his chest fifteen minutes later when a nurse came through the doors.
“Mr. Harris? You can come on back.”
Luke bolted for the doors.
Slim watched him go, hoping and praying he’d get good news on the other side. While he waited to hear more, he sent a text to Erin.
At the ER with Luke and Syd. Waiting to hear what’s up before I head back. Do you miss me yet?
She replied right away: Who is this?
Ha-ha. You’re very funny!
Hoping for good news for Syd. It’s nice of you to wait with them.
Luke is losing it. I’m glad I came.
Did they say what’s wrong?
Not really, and I didn’t want to ask. I’ll give it another hour or so and see if they need a ride home.
No problem. My other boyfriend is here entertaining me while you’re gone.
So wait, I’m your boyfriend?
No, the other one is. You’re my fling.
You’re so going to pay for that when I get back.
I’m very scared…
I’ll give you a heads-up when I’m on the way back so you can get the BF out.
That’s very sporting of you. See you soon! Be careful in that tin can you fly around in.
Sweetheart, I’m an ace in that tin can. You ought to let me show you sometime.
Slim chuckled with amusement at her witty retorts. He’d become addicted to their conversations over the last couple of months, mostly because of her delightful sense of humor. She made him laugh more than any other woman ever had, but it hadn’t escaped his notice that she didn’t seem to have any desire to take off with him to Florida or Anguilla, or anywhere else for that matter. In the time they had left together, he’d have to see if he could get her to talk to him about why she didn’t want to spend more time with him.
* * *
You ought to let me show you sometime…
Ugh. Erin stared at the text on her screen. If she let this relationship with him continue on the current path, eventually she’d have to tell him how she felt about flying. Talking about it with Jenny earlier had been hard enough. She didn’t want to consider how hard it would be to tell him.
The conversation with Jenny kept cycling through her mind as she waded through her overflowing email in-box, looking for fresh ideas for the Ask Erin column she wrote for a Philadelphia newspaper. The column was on hiatus for the holidays, but with the afternoon suddenly free, she’d decided to try to get a jump on some material for the new year.
She’d initially been hired to write high-profile obituaries and other death notices for the paper—and hadn’t that been a good time? She’d stumbled into the writing of the column, filling in for someone who was on maternity leave. The original columnist had chosen not to return to work, and Erin was offered the column full time. When she had the chance to move to Gansett, she’d arranged to continue writing the column remotely. So far it was working out well, and the change in scenery had been good for her. Not to mention the amazing new friends she’d made since moving to Gansett.
It was nice to live close to Jenny, too. Having her nearby was like being with family, and Erin couldn’t wait for when Jenny and Alex started a family so she could dote on their kids. She tried not to think too much about the children her brother and Jenny might’ve had together. Toby and Jenny had wanted to be young parents, so their children would have been approaching high school age by now.
Erin couldn’t think about that, or she’d send herself spiraling. It had happened far too often for her not to recognize the signs. She’d gotten through Jenny’s wedding in the fall, in large part thanks to Slim’s support, and she’d find a way to deal with the emotional wallop that the eventual birth of Jenny’s first child was sure to bring. Erin had no doubt she would be treated as a beloved aunt to Jenny’s children, but she was painfully aware that they wouldn’t actually be her nieces and nephews.
“Enough of that,” she said out loud, as if saying the words would steer her thoughts away from the perilous path to nowhere good. She clicked on an email and tried to lose herself in someone else’s problems, a practice that had been strangely cathartic since she’d been writing the column.
Dear Erin,
I’m not sure if you can help me, but I don’t know where else to turn. So many of her letters were from teenage girls who were afraid to tell anyone else their problems. Even if she didn’t feature their questions in the column, she replied to every one of them, hoping her words might make some small difference to a struggling teen.
I caught my brother stealing from a local store and confronted him. He said his friends dared him and it was a one-time thing. Then I saw him do it again. We were at the drugstore, and he put things in his pocket and wal
ked out without paying. His friends weren’t there. It was just the two of us. I want to find a way to stop him without getting him into trouble with the police, and I don’t want him to hate me for ratting on him. Please help me. I can’t sleep or eat or do anything but picture my brother in jail.
Sincerely,
Tara
Dear Tara,
Your brother is lucky to have a sister who cares for him as much as you do. I understand your desire to protect him, but you can only do so much. If you’re unable to speak to one or both of your parents about what your brother is doing, I urge you to talk to another adult you trust, a teacher, school counselor, neighbor or coach, someone who can help you navigate this situation. Tell them what you’ve told me and ask for help. Your brother may be angry at first, but one day he’ll thank you for keeping him out of big trouble. Please write to me and let me know how your situation resolves itself.
Hugs,
Erin
She had a team of experts on retainer whom she could call on to advise her on how to answer questions when needed, but some, like Tara’s, were more clear-cut. The girl needed to tell someone she trusted and allow them to relieve her burden. She hoped Tara would write back to let her know the outcome.
Sometimes people wrote back to say her advice had backfired and made a bad situation worse. Erin tried to learn from that kind of feedback, but the disclaimer at the bottom of each column and email absolved her of any binding responsibility toward the people she corresponded with. And the paper’s legal team vetted every answer before it went live online or in the paper.
Dear Erin,
My life has been destroyed by the discovery that my husband is having an affair—with my friend. I’m devastated, angry, hurt and so many other things I can’t begin to put into words. Having been betrayed by two people I loved is ruining me. I can’t find a way out of this unbearable pain. Please tell me how to make myself feel better and how to live without these two people who were so important to me.
Debbie
God, what to even say to this one?
Dear Debbie,
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. Sometimes there are no words that can bring comfort in a situation like this. But I will say that over time, you’ll find a way to go on, even if that seems impossible right now. It’s important to change your routine, to meet new people who interest you and to make new friends. New hobbies and new activities, such as joining a gym or taking a dance class, can lead to new people. Some would say that forgiveness can help you find the path forward. That may or may not work for you, but I put it out there as a possibility you might want to explore. You won’t ever forget what happened, but perhaps if you can forgive them, you can set yourself free in the process. In the meantime, rely on the people who bring you joy and please let me know how you’re doing. I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you well.
Hugs,
Erin
She answered three more inquiries—one from a woman coping with the loss of her mother, another from a bride-to-be who’d changed her mind about getting married and was looking for a graceful way out, and a third from a young man who wanted a certain girl to notice him as more than a friend. Though she hadn’t personally experienced any of these situations, she’d known her fair share of grief and found that approaching her replies with empathy and compassion went a long way toward helping the people who wrote to her. That the column had been picked up for national syndication thanks to her hard work counted as her greatest professional accomplishment since she left law school.
Erin loved the work, the challenge of sinking her teeth into meaty dilemmas, and she appreciated the distraction of helping other people deal with their problems. By the time she crafted her fifth reply, she looked up to notice the sky getting darker. It was time to make her dip for tonight, along with an extra batch for Alex to eat with a spoon.
She checked her phone to see if Slim had texted, but there was nothing new. Thinking about Sydney and hoping for a positive outcome, she got busy in the kitchen while also continuing to ruminate over the idea of whether taking one flight with Slim would help her over the hurdle that was keeping her grounded.
Chapter 6
For Mac McCarthy Junior, the day after his parents’ anniversary party had been long and trying. He’d awoken far too early and was tired, cranky, hungover and sexually frustrated. Somehow, a night that was supposed to be kid-free thanks to Maddie’s parents had turned into two kids with fevers in bed between him and his wife. He’d been kicked in the head and the gut—twice each—and Hailey’s foot had just missed the family jewels.
Enough was enough.
He’d dragged himself out of bed, taking his feverish little girl with him. Better to hold her while she slept than to risk being unmanned by a sharp elbow or foot. And Maddie had suggested getting the kids a dog for Christmas. As if! That would be just what he needed—two kids and a dog in his bed.
Thomas had woken up feeling worse and had clung to Maddie, while Hailey was all about Daddy. Usually, that was more than fine with Mac, but after a restless night, he was tired and expecting more of the same tonight.
“I guess we should call Jenny and tell her we’re out for tonight,” Maddie said late in the afternoon.
Thomas was asleep in her arms, and Mac worried about her catching whatever the kids had. She was still in her first trimester of pregnancy, and he didn’t want anything going wrong this time. They’d bounced back from losing their last pregnancy, but thinking of the baby they’d lost could still bring tears to his eyes—and hers.
“I suppose so.” Though he was disappointed about missing the night out with friends, their children came first. “You want me to put him to bed?”
“You can try.”
“Let me put her down first. I’ll come back for him.” Mac went upstairs and got Hailey settled in her crib, watching as she popped her thumb into her mouth. Her cheeks were red from the fever, but it was lower now than it had been earlier. He went down to collect Thomas and got him tucked into bed, too, returning to Maddie, who was stretched out on the sofa. “You feel okay, hon?”
“Yeah, just tired. Been a long day.” Only yesterday, she’d confessed to feeling unattractive to him as her pregnancy had progressed. He’d shown her just how attractive she would always be to him, but he’d looked forward to showing her again last night.
It worried him that she could think he would ever fall out of love—or lust—with her. That would never happen, and he wanted to be sure she knew how much she meant to him. She held out a hand to invite him to lie with her on the sofa.
He gladly accepted the invite, snuggling up to her. “Whatever shall we do with this night we now get to spend at home?”
“We could sleep like sane people would after the day we’ve had.”
“We could, but what fun would that be?” He ran a hand down her back to cup her ass, tugging her in tight against him.
“Is there ever a time you’re not interested in sex, Mac?”
He pretended to think about that for a second. “When you’re in the room? No, not really.”
“You should’ve come with a warning label,” she said, a teasing smile making her eyes sparkle with amusement.
He nuzzled her neck. “What would the warning label have said about me?”
“Whoever marries this man must be prepared to put out morning, noon and night, even after a full day of tending to whining, sick kids.”
“That sounds about right, and I’m glad to hear you’re prepared to put out morning, noon and night.”
She nudged him with her elbow, making him laugh.
“I can’t help it that I love you so much I can’t stop touching you.”
“Don’t try too hard to help it.”
Mac grunted out another laugh as he kissed her. “How about a sofa quickie?”
“Do I have to do anything?”
“Nothing other than be your amazing, sexy self.”
She groaned dramatically. “There
is nothing sexy about me right now. I have kid drool on my shirt.”
“I told you yesterday that I don’t want you talking shit about my wife, and I meant it. Everything about her is sexy.”
“I think you may be delusional or under some sort of spell.”
“I’m under the Madeline McCarthy spell. She just does it for me.”
She placed her hand on the face he hadn’t bothered to shave. “Remember when you were single and unencumbered and living it up in Miami? A different hot babe every day?”
He knew she was teasing him, as she often did about his former life. “I never think about Miami or being single. Why would I wish for that when I have you and our kids and my work and my family and a great life here?”
“It’s a better life than the one you had there?”
“You can still ask me that after everything we’ve had together?”
“I wonder sometimes. That’s all.”
Dropping his forehead to rest against hers, he said, “Let me put your mind at ease. There is nowhere I’d rather be than right here with you.”
“Even with sick babies who whine and cry all day?”
“Especially then. I got hours of Hailey snuggles today, which are hard to come by now that she’s on the move.” A strand of Maddie’s caramel-colored hair had broken loose from her ponytail. He tucked it behind the fragile shell of her ear and traced a fingertip over the line of her jaw. “I never wish for my old life.” He kissed her, starting with soft, sweet touches of his lips to hers, which became hotter, deeper kisses when her mouth opened and her tongue teased his. “And I can’t bear that you think there’ll ever be a time when I don’t want you.”
Being with her made the difficult day with the kids fade away. She always had that effect on him, making him forget everything else but her when they were together this way.
Working her leg between his, she pressed her thigh against his erection, making him groan. He thought about suggesting they move this upstairs but didn’t want to take any chances that they’d wake the kids.