by Marie Force
Erin stared at him, agape. “You really do read the column!”
“Yes,” he said with a laugh. “How have you never told me this? I can’t believe that’s you. I’m sleeping with Ask Erin.”
“You say that like I’m Judge Judy or something.”
“I have a secret crush on her, too. I love smart, sexy women.”
His use of the word love did crazy things to her insides, resurrecting the lighthearted, giddy feeling she’d experienced earlier. She returned her head to his chest, and he resumed playing with her hair.
“Hey, Slim?”
“Hmm?”
“For a very long time my life has been spinning out of control. When I’m with you, the spinning stops. I thought you should know that.”
“That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Chapter 17
Profoundly moved by her confession, Slim tightened his arms around her and turned them so he was on top, gazing down at her lovely face. Something had changed in the last hour, and what had been simmering began to boil. He was falling in love with her. Hell, he was probably already done falling.
“What’re you thinking?” she asked, looking up at him.
He realized he’d been staring at her while he tried to reconcile his feelings. “I’m thinking about how hard I’m falling for you.”
“Oh. You are?”
Nodding, he said, “Is that a bad thing?”
“No, it’s good. Very good.”
“Am I the only one falling?”
Looking madly vulnerable, she shook her head.
He wanted to take away her pain and sorrow and fill her life with joy. He wanted to always feel the way he did when he was with her, but he had no idea if she felt the same way. They didn’t have to decide that now, but the more time he spent with her, the more unbearable the thought of leaving her became.
After the insanity of their earlier coupling, now he wanted to make love to her. He wanted to show her how he felt about her, how essential she was becoming to him. Beginning with soft, openmouthed kisses to her neck and throat, he had her arching into him before he’d even gotten to the really good parts. He loved the way she responded to him and how his heart beat faster every time he got to touch her this way.
Slim tugged on the sexy nightgown, raising a brow to ask if he could remove it.
She nodded, and as if he were opening the best of all Christmas gifts, he unveiled her long limbs and creamy white skin until she was bare before his hungry gaze.
Taking his time, he cupped her breasts and spent long minutes tending to one nipple and then the other, drawing the tight beads into his mouth and using his tongue and teeth to make her moan. God, he loved the sound that seemed to come from the deepest part of her. He could easily become addicted to her moan. Though he wanted to spend hours tending to her gorgeous breasts—and he would do that sometime very soon—he moved down, kissing the quivering skin of her belly, nibbling on her hip bones and squeezing her ass cheeks.
By the time he was positioned between her legs, she was so wet he could see and smell how ready she was for him. The scent of her arousal sent his yearning for her even further into the red zone. He was about to burst from the need to plunge into her, to possess her, to make her his in every way. But he held off, wanting to see to her before he took what he wanted.
With his hands flat against her inner thighs, he could feel the deep trembling in her muscles as he spread her legs farther apart.
He zeroed in on her hands, which were gripping tight handfuls of the comforter, holding on in anticipation of what was to come.
Bending over her, he propped her legs on his shoulders, resulting in yet another of those incredible moans. And when he traced the outline of her outer lips with his tongue, she nearly levitated off the bed. “So wet, so sweet, so hot,” he whispered. “Do you want to come, Erin?”
“Yes,” she whispered, the single word erupting from her in a choppy, nearly incoherent sound.
“Tell me.” He glanced up in time to see the panic that crossed her expressive face when she realized he was going to make her say it. “Tell me what you want.”
“I-I want to come.”
He blew a light stream of air over her sensitive flesh, and the keening sound that came from her made his dick even harder than it already was. “How?” he asked. “How do you want it?” Touching his finger lightly to her clit, he said, “Do you want my finger or my tongue?”
“Can I have both?”
“So greedy,” he said with a low chuckle. “I like that. Since you’ve been a very good girl, Santa will let you have both.” She was like a live wire about to snap by the time he touched his tongue to her clit and drove two fingers deep into her. She was fully primed, and he felt the telltale signs of her impending climax so he backed off.
“W-what… why?”
“That would’ve been too easy. What do you say we make this interesting?”
Panting, she said, “What do you say you let me come, and I let you live?”
His bark of laughter earned him a scowl from her. “My lovely lady has some claws under all that sweetness. I had no idea.”
“And I’m more than happy to use them if need be,” she said with a smug smile. “Now get back to it. I’m getting rather bored.”
“Ha-ha, very funny. I’ll show you bored.” He bit the inside of her thigh, just hard enough to leave a mark and pull a sharp gasp of surprise from her saucy mouth. “Do I have your full attention?”
“Mmm.” With her fingers in his hair, she directed him to focus on her core, which he was happy to do.
He sucked hard on her clit, and she came with a screaming cry that was almost enough to finish him off, too.
Somehow he managed to find enough control to roll on another condom, grasp his cock, align it with her liquid center and thrust into her heat. So good. So fucking good. His balls were tight and his spine tingled from imminent release. Looking to make it last, he rolled them over so she was on top of him, her hair covering her face until she gathered it up in a move that put her luscious breasts on display.
Slim reached up to tease her nipples, pinching just tight enough to make her dark eyes go wide with surprise and desire. Not to mention what happened when her internal muscles clamped down on his cock. “Ride me, baby. Make me come.”
“Maybe I ought to torture you the way you tortured me.”
“Do whatever you want.” Slim dropped his hands to the pillow. “I’m all yours.” As he said the words, he realized it was absolutely true. He was hers. Watching her move above him, her hair long and wild, her lips swollen from their kisses and her breasts swaying with every movement of her hips, brought him quickly to the edge of release. He tried to hold back, but then she came again, and he couldn’t stop the inevitable.
With his hands on her hips to anchor her, he surged into her, their eyes meeting in a moment of perfect unity that he’d never forget.
Exhausted, she fell forward onto his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, their hearts beating together in an erratic, choppy rhythm that matched their uneven breathing. She pulsed around him, aftershocks rippling through her body and into his.
“I want to be tortured by you more often,” he said, drawing a laugh from her.
“I went easy on you.”
“I like your brand of easy.” He kissed her forehead. “In fact, I like everything about you.”
“Everything?”
“Every damned thing.”
“Wow, that’s a whole lotta like.”
“It sure is.” After a pause, he said, “I’m still hoping I might convince you to come back to Florida with me on New Year’s Day.”
“I’d like to. I hope you know that.”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’?”
“The ‘but’ has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m starting to feel settled here. I’ve got friends and a li
fe and responsibilities to the town. Even if they’re minor, they’re still mine. I’ve been sort of drifting for a long time, and I finally feel anchored again. I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up yet, even for something as wonderful as what I have with you.”
His stomach sank with disappointment, even if he understood what she was saying. “So you’re really going to make me wait months to see you again? I can’t even convince you to come for a long weekend?”
“I… Sure. Maybe.”
“That doesn’t sound too convincing, sweetheart.”
“I’ll definitely try. Is that better?”
“Yeah, sure.” He kissed her shoulder and gave her a gentle nudge. “I need to hit the bathroom.”
She moved to the side, taking her heat with her and leaving him chilled in more ways than one.
* * *
Erin watched his spectacular naked ass as he went into the bathroom and shut the door. Sighing, she rolled onto her side and hugged a pillow to her chest. Her refusal to commit to more time together after this week had hurt him, which was the last thing she wanted to do. But how could she tell a man whose passion was flying that she couldn’t bear to get on an airplane, even for him?
Maybe it was time to seek professional help about her unreasonable fear of flying. Though all the things she’d told him were true, the flying issue was the primary reason she couldn’t commit to a visit—or more. Sure, she could drive to Florida, but the idea of driving more than a thousand miles by herself wasn’t all that appealing.
And how would she explain that choice to him when flying would be so much simpler?
You could just tell him you don’t fly anymore. He would understand. Yes, he would, and he’d probably be great about it. However, she didn’t tell people about her phobia. Only her parents and Jenny knew that she hadn’t flown since 9/11, and though all of them had urged her to seek counseling to manage the fear, she hadn’t done it, and that made her feel cowardly.
Prior to Toby’s death, she’d never been a coward. Afterward was a whole other story. Everything scared her—loud noises, cars backfiring, crowds, silence, howling wind, darkness. Any time she ventured into a public place, such as a concert venue, a movie theater or a mall, she wondered if that would be the site of the next attack. She obsessively looked for exits, a way out, just in case. All this on top of her other obsessive compulsive attributes were her burdens to manage.
How did she tell Slim how deeply her wounds went? How did she burden him with her fears and worries when he was such an easygoing, happy kind of guy? How long would it take for her darkness to cast a shadow over his lightness?
Before she’d resolved anything, he came out of the bathroom and got back into bed with her, snuggling up to her, his arm around her waist. Kissing her shoulder, he said, “I didn’t mean to push you for more than you’re ready for.”
Touched, Erin covered his hand with hers. “It’s not that. And it’s not you. It’s me. It’s…”
“Shhh. Not tonight. Today’s been a fantastic day. Let’s leave the hard stuff for tomorrow, okay?”
Relieved to have a reprieve, she expelled a deep breath. “Okay.”
He let her go long enough to kill the light and snuggled up to her again.
She would tell him tomorrow that she was afraid to fly and that was why she didn’t want to go back to Florida with him, even if the other things she’d told him were true, too. The life she was building on the island was important to her, but it wasn’t like she couldn’t come back for the summer and pick up where she left off with Jenny and her new friends.
Thinking about the possibility of months with him in Florida made her feel giddy and excited. If only the dark cloud of terror would go away and leave her alone, everything would be perfect—or as close to perfect as it had been for her in a very long time.
Erin took visions of sunshine and palm trees—and the sexy man in her bed—to sleep with her, dreaming of him as she slept. She awoke to his voice.
“Erin, your phone is ringing.”
“What?”
“Your phone.”
“Oh.” Erin pushed her hair back from her face and reached for the phone that was charging on her bedside table where the clock read four thirty. The sight of MOM on the screen sparked panic. Why would her mother be calling before dawn? “Mom?”
“Oh thank goodness you answered.”
Undone by her mother’s panicked tone, Erin sat up in bed. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Daddy.” Her mother’s voice broke, and Erin’s anxiety spiked. “He woke up with a bad headache right before he collapsed. I called 9-1-1, and they got him to the hospital very quickly. They did an MRI and found an aneurism in his brain. They just took him to surgery, and… They said it’s a very grave situation, honey.”
“Oh my God,” Erin whispered as tears slid down her cheeks and her heart beat so hard she feared she would hyperventilate.
Slim sat up to put an arm around her, and she leaned into him, thankful for his presence and support.
“I’m so sorry to do this to you, especially when you can’t get here, but I thought you’d want to know.”
“I do, of course I do. Is he… Did they say…”
“They said to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.”
“No,” Erin said, whimpering. “No.”
Her mother’s sobs echoed through the phone line.
Erin forced herself to focus on her mother when she wanted to wail with despair. “Who’s with you, Mom?”
“No one right now. I’ll call Aunt Sue later,” she said of her sister.
“Call her now. She’d want to be there with you.”
“Okay, I will, and I’ll let you know if I hear anything more. They said the surgery will take a few hours.”
“I don’t know what to do. What do I do?”
“Say a prayer, sweetheart. That’s all we can do right now. I’ll call you the second I know more.”
“I’ll see about getting the car on the ferry, and I’ll get there as soon as I can. Will you text me the info about where you are?”
“I will.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Erin ended the call and dropped her head into her hands, sobs shaking her body.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” Slim said as he rubbed her back.
“Did you hear all that?”
“Enough to put the pieces together. Sweetheart, look at me.”
Erin raised her head to meet his gaze.
“I could get you there pretty quickly. They live in Philly, right?”
“Just outside,” she said, her throat closing with panic and anxiety at the thought of flying. She would’ve thought nothing could trump that fear, but the fear of losing her dad, of never seeing him again, was greater than her flying phobia.
“That’s just over an hour by air.”
“I… I should tell you…”
Gazing down at her, he caressed her bare shoulder. “What, honey?”
She forced herself to look at him when she said, “I haven’t flown since before 9/11.”
After a long pause, he said, “Oh. Okay.”
“I’m not entirely sure that I can.”
“How about we try and see how it goes?”
“What if I freak out in the air?”
“I’d get you down as fast as I could.”
“Then what would we do?”
“Hire a car to drive us to Philly?”
“You’d do that?”
“I’d do anything I could for you.”
With just one sentence, he managed to convey a world of meaning that had her sobbing all over again, this time from the emotional overload that came from realizing, right in that already fraught moment, that she was falling hard for him.
Leaving that discovery to deal with at a later date, she said, “How long will it take to get there?”
“About an hour and twenty. I have a twin-engine plane, so it won’t take lo
ng.”
“Good to know there’s a backup if one engine quits.”
“The engines won’t quit. You don’t need to worry about that. Come here.” He gathered her into his arms. “I promise you’ll be completely safe with me. I’d never take any chances with your safety—or my own.” As he spoke, he continued to rub her back in soothing circles. “It’ll be a really quick flight.”
“I’m afraid of so many things that never used to scare me,” she whispered. “I’m afraid of everything.”
“Then you need to stick with me, because in addition to my former careers as an EMT and circus performer, I’m an outstanding dragon slayer. Never met one yet that could defeat me. I gotcha covered, sweetheart.”
There was nothing, absolutely nothing, he could’ve said that would’ve meant more to her. To know he wasn’t judging her or finding her lacking because of her fears was a huge relief. And that he didn’t push or try to coerce her into a decision but instead gave her quiet time for contemplation made it easier for her to accept his offer.
“Okay,” she said tentatively. “Let’s try it.”
“Do you have anything for the anxiety? Something to take the edge off?”
“I have Xanax for when I can’t sleep, but I don’t take it very often anymore.” In the early years after Toby died, she’d taken it every night. But it had been a long time since she’d depended upon it.
“That’d work.” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “So we’re doing this?”
Erin summoned the courage she needed from deep inside, where the person she used to be still resided, and nodded. “We’re doing it.” Now if only she could get through it without losing her mind.
Chapter 18
Slim took the first shower while she packed a bag. She was all thumbs as she tried to figure out what to take while wiping away tears that continued to fall. She wasn’t ready to fly, and she certainly wasn’t prepared to lose her dad, let alone possibly both in the same day.
Was it only last night that she’d been thinking it was time to tell Slim about her fear of flying? That seemed like a long time ago now that the phone call from her mother had changed everything. This wasn’t the first time her life had been changed forever by a phone call. She’d been in a law school class at UPenn on a Tuesday morning in September when her phone lit up with calls and messages from her parents.