This isn't helping. It's actually making me feel worse.
I take a few lethargic steps toward my door before the door on the neighboring patio slides open. My stomach coils and all that fight or flight stuff kicks in but I keep my head straight and my movements steady...until I hear his voice.
"Reese?!"
My head snaps in Brenton's direction. "Brent!"
At the sight of the little boy, my mettle and my steel dissolve. I drop to my knees and he runs across the yard into my waiting arms. The reunion nearly has me in tears as I wrap him up in a monster hug.
He pulls out of the embrace but holds tight to my hand as he talks a mile a minute, catching up on the happenings at school and in his favorite cartoons.
When he runs out of steam, he grins up in my face. He’s so adorable. He even has a new haircut and the sling on his broken arm is covered in colorful squiggles. ”I miss you," he tells me. I didn't know it was possible for my heart to break even more. "Why come I don't come to your house anymore?”
The little grammatically-incorrect question hits me in the chest. "Well sweetie, your dad doesn't need my help anymore."
"But you're my friend..." His eyes glitter at me with confusion. The guilt and turmoil I feel is too much.
I pull him in for another cuddle so that I don't have to see that expression on his face. "I'm so sorry, Brenton." The child has been through so much. I hate being another person who let him down.
My mind registers the frantic echo of Leo’s voice. "Brenton! Brenton!" It starts off faint but quickly grows louder and heavy with worry.
I brace myself for the sight of him. I know it’s gonna hurt. He tears through the back door and explodes onto the porch. "BRENTON!"
His steps falter when he sees me. I stand up with shaky knees. His anger drops and something intense and forlorn steps into its place. "Reese..."
"Hi." I'm shocked at my ability to deliver the word in a smooth, casual tone.
He closes the inches between us. “You…Hey, hi…I mean…” He's stuttering and I can't figure out whether that look on his face is good or bad. Luckily, my nerves don't knock my knees out from under me.
I won't allow the mix of emotions I feel when I look at him rope me in. "I was only saying hi to Brent. I have to go."
Brenton throws his arm around my legs and sniffles. I put a kiss in his messy hair then disappear inside.
Chapter Forty-Five
Leo
I startle at the three neat, steady taps against the backdoor. The pot that I’m washing slips from my fingers and lands in the sink with a loud, jarring bang.
Brenton’s head shoots up and swivels in the direction of the back porch. “It might be Reese!” He drops his crayon and watches me expectantly.
This is exactly what I didn’t want. This is why I should have pushed her away when she showed up in my world with her big, brown eyes and her soft, open smile and her beautiful heart. Now the kid is attached. And she’s gone. He already lost his mother. Now his heart is breaking all over again and this time, it’s completely my fault.
I’m even more broken than he is. I’m back to the sleepless nights. Sitting alone on the back stoop. Feeling hopeless. Smoking like a damn chimney. Forcing myself not to look up at her bedroom window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her as she goes about her nightly routine.
I shouldn’t have let her into our lives. Because now that she’s gone the torment is more painful than ever.
My heart is covered in blisters but that’s the price I have to pay because I never should have gotten tangled up with that girl in the first place. I should have devoted myself completely to seeing about my child’s welfare and best interests. Instead, I let myself freefall for that beautiful, sweet-smelling distraction. And now, I’m battered and bruised and kicking myself because I know she is, too.
“Fuck…” I grumble under my breath when the knock rings out again. I shove my tense fingers into my hair.
I rinse out my hands and dry them on a rag before turning off the pipe. I take a second to breathe before I pad over to the back door. I know that if it’s Reese on my back porch, I’m going to need all the strength I can muster to keep from dropping to my knees and saying something stupid to her. But when I get to the door, it isn’t at all who I expected to see.
It’s Sophia standing there.
I have no idea why she’s here. We finished up work on her house right on schedule. Right before the wedding.
The wedding that never happened. Shit.
I slide the door open and it rolls along its tracks. She gives me a smile. It’s weak but it tells me that she’s at least trying to put on a brave face.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey.” I shove my hand into the pocket of my jeans and wait for her to speak.
She stretches a metal canister out to me. It looks familiar. “You forgot your flask at the construction site,” she tells me. “It’s got your name engraved into the cap. I found it when I was cleaning my stuff out of Josh’s house.” I wince at the poorly-concealed distress in her voice.
I take it from her. “Thanks.” My chest tightens up at the sight of her. She’s not all dressed up as usual. She’s wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with jeans and flats. Her face is puffy. I can tell how hard she’s trying to keep it together.
I know the feeling all too well.
“How are you doing?” I usually wouldn’t pry into her affairs. We’re not friends but I know that she’s a good person and I know that she’s hurting.
Her smile sits on the surface of her face, no depth to it. “I’m still standing,” she says wistfully. “I guess that’s what counts.” She scratches at the side of her face when she says it. Her gigantic ring is gone.
I feel a little hand on the back of my leg and look down to find Brenton tangled around me.
“Hi…” he says.
Sophia’s smile warms up. “Hey Brenton. Remember me?”
“You’re Reese’s friend,” he says without skipping a beat.
“I am,” she leans forward so that they’re at eye level. “You have a good memory, huh?”
My boy nods. “I do.”
“How are you doing?” she asks softly.
“I’m fine. Just coloring. Wanna see?” Wrapping his fingers around her wrist, the little boy drags her inside and they hover near the kitchen table.
She picks up the drawing and inspects it. “Wow, that’s a cool t-rex.”
Brent gives her an annoyed glare. “It’s not a t-rex. It’s a titanosaurus.”
I cringe a little bit at his admonishing tone but Sophia takes his scolding like a champ. “Ah…” she says biting down her laugh as she glances at me. “I stand corrected.”
He shrugs. “It’s all right. Not everybody knows about dinosaurs,” he says shrewdly. “Reese told me the differences between all the different types of dinosaurs.” His voice drops and so do his shoulders. “I miss Reese.” His gaze falls to the floor as he makes the confession. “She said she’s my friend but she never comes to see me anymore.” His words break my heart.
Sophia looks up at me, her mouth opening and closing. She doesn’t know how to answer that one. I intervene to save her. “Brent, we talked about this. Reese is very busy. That’s why you stay with Mrs. Pinnechecko after school. Remember?”
The kid gives me a sour look that tells me he’s calling bullshit. Sophia notices it, too. She’s staring hard at the side of my head.
She intervenes in the bitter standoff between me and my son. “Brenton, do you mind if me and your daddy speak in private for a little while?”
He shrugs, his resentment painted all over his tiny features. “Daddy, can I play with the iPad?”
He knows he’s only allowed to play with it on Saturday mornings but he’s going to manipulate the situation to get me to bend the rules. He knows I feel guilty and he’ll use it to his advantage. Kids… “Fine,” I say in defeat before excusing myself to take him upstairs. With a victorious smile on his lips
, he gets comfy on my bed with his broken arm clutched to his chest as he plays a game on the tablet.
When I go back downstairs, Sophia is sitting at the kitchen table. She wears an keen expression as I step back into the room. Her words spill out quickly.
“I know that what’s going on between you and Reese is none of my business but she’s one of my best friends so I’m gonna be nosy and give you my two cents.” With a hitched brow, I drop silently into the seat across from her. “She’s an amazing person and she cares about you and Brent. You’re making a mistake. Shutting her out the way you are is a mistake.”
“Sophia, I had to let her go. I was being selfish. I need to do what’s best for my son.” I scrub a hand down my face as I say the words.
She shakes her head. “Can’t you see? You aren’t doing your son any favors by shutting Reese out of your life. You’re miserable, Brenton is miserable and—let me tell you a secret—Reese is miserable.”
She’s right. Both Brent and I are going crazy from missing Reese. And the look on her face when I saw her on the porch last night—she’s broken and it was spelled out clearly in her features.
"Reese deserves more than some guy who's just going to treat her like a rebound,” I say, hanging my head.
"Then treat her like more than a rebound.” Sophia makes it sound so simple. “Choosing to be with the person who makes you happy doesn’t make you a bad father, Leo.”
“Mara chose her happiness over Brenton’s. I can’t do that to him. I can’t let him down, too."
“There's a difference between what you're doing and what your ex wife did. For you, opening your heart made you a better person and a better father. Mara's falling in love made her selfish and inconsiderate.”
I close my eyes and her words sink in. I want so badly for her to be right. Is it possible that I can have Reese and be devoted to my son?
Sophia continues. “I know you have this overwhelming sense of duty, this desire to do right by your kid but that’s exactly what you’ll be doing if you give yourself permission to be happy…I may be wrong. Remember, I’m the girl who just got ditched at the altar. But I really think you need to reexamine your situation.”
I exhale roughly. “How do you still believe in love after what happened to you?”
“Joshua was never a good guy. I tried to convince myself he was. I tried to pretend he was but the truth is, he never loved me.”
“You don’t know me. What makes you think I’d treat Reese any better?”
Throws up hands in exasperation. “Now I’m starting to think that you’re just fishing for compliments.”
We share a laugh.
“Allowing yourself to love Reese doesn't take away from the love you have for your son. Becoming a happier person only frees up more love, love that you can give to him. That Reese can give to him.”
In that moment it’s like everything snaps into place in my head. I don’t want to be away from Reese. Not for one more second. “I need to see her,” I tell Sophia as I race to the door and slide into my shoes before grabbing Brenton’s sneakers from the closet.
A victorious smile covers Sophia’s lips. “She’s at the cupcake shop right now, working on some report for Vivian. You need to talk to her. Make things right. I’ll watch Brenton so you don’t have to take him with you.” When I hesitate, she rolls her eyes. “I am capable of watching your son for a few minutes so you can go get your girl. Just go!”
I sigh harshly. “Fine.”
As I’m rushing out the door, she calls to me. “You and Reese can prove me right. Prove to me that true love really does exist. With the right person.”
I smile at her because Reese is the right person for me.
I just hope that after the way I messed up, I can prove it to her.
Chapter Forty-Six
Reese
Smoke.
The caustic smell seeps into my drowsy consciousness, drowning my taste buds in a bitter flavor. Not the mild smoky taste of Leo's tongue as it curls around mine after he’s had a cigarette. This is much more pungent, suffocating. It's choking off my air supply…
And fire.
I feel heat seeping into my skin. I lift my head from the desk and blink into the room surrounding me. My eyes burn instantly. A blinding orange glow jumps all around me. I hear the crackling of firewood and the low roar of the flames.
Except this isn't a bonfire. It's my office. At the cupcake shop. It's on fire!
The haze of sleep evaporates immediately, snapping me alert. I must have fallen asleep while working on the damn report but I’m wide awake now. I leap from the desk in shock and my chair capsizes behind me. Fuck! Fire! That's when the piercing drone of the fire alarm fills my senses.
Holy shit! This is really happening. I dodge around the flaming furniture and stumble to the office door, burying my nose in the crook of my arm to protect myself from the smoke. My lungs burn so bad.
The far end of hallway connecting the office to the kitchen is blocked by flames. I faintly register the sound of glass shattering. I pivot around and head back into the office, scrambling toward the window. My leg catches on the foot of the overturned chair. I hit the ground.
The past few months of my life flash before my eyes. Brenton running around with my panties over his face. Leo's lips on mine on the back porch in the moonlight. Sophia crying at that bar in Las Vegas. Brenton with his little arm wrapped around me, telling me how much he misses me.
I don't want to die.
In my head, I hear Leo say my name.
Everything goes black.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Leo
I pull up to the curb outside of the Broken Cupcake, parking my car right behind Reese’s. I’m still not sure of exactly what I’m going to say to her. Frankly, I’m not even sure that I should be here.
Am I really the man to give her the kind of relationship—the kind of life—that she deserves? She’s so sweet, so beautiful. And I’m complicated, if nothing else. I’m a single dad with a young child and stone heart and wartime scars that torture me day and night. She’s ambitious and young. She has a head full of dreams. What good do I have to offer her? My life is an oozing wound and it would be unfair and selfish to infect her with my misery. I can’t allow myself to hold her back.
Maybe I should just let her be. Maybe she’s better off without me.
With a deep inhalation, I decide then and there to let this go. She may be hurting right now, she may be upset that I pulled away from her but in the long run, she’ll realize that I wasn’t right for her. She’ll find someone better.
I slide the key back into the ignition and throw one last fleeting glance at the arched doorway of the cupcake shop, chest tightening because I know she’s in there and all I really want is to be in there with her.
But just beyond the glass, something catches my eye. An orange glow blazing just beyond the window. I squint, leaning closer to the door for a better view. A dizzying rush of adrenaline pours into my blood. It’s fire!
My gaze goes back to Reese’s car parked in front of mine. She’s inside the building. I tear off my seatbelt and leap out of the car, charging toward the building. “Fire! Fire! Call for help!” My cries go unheard. It’s late on a Sunday night and the town square is virtually abandoned. Still, I scream out. “Call for help! Fire!”
The gears in my head move into motion. Circling around the building, I find myself in a narrow alley. Thinking fast, I scan my surroundings for a tool. My eyes land on a wooden beam sticking up out of the dumpster. I snatch it into my hands and swing it at the window, blocking my face with my shoulder as the glass shatters.
Every second counts so I don’t waste a breath. Reese’s life is on the line. The temperature spikes a thousand degrees as I climb into the building, finding myself in a narrow hallway. I scream out her name. “REESE! REESE!”
I don’t get an answer but I push through the flames, moving blindly through the blaze.
“REESE!”
I can hardly breathe. My lungs want to collapse, to give up. But I’m not giving up. Not until I have her in my arms.
I’m in the office now. I see a computer on a small desk. A filing cabinet. A couch.
“REESE!” Fuck, baby. Where are you?
Sirens approach in the distance. I can hear them. My eyes sweep the room and land on a body lying on the floor.
No…Please…Please, Reese…
I need to get her out of here. My fingers curl around the first thing I lay my hands on. I think it’s a crystal paperweight. In the shape of a cupcake. I hurl it at the window. Ignoring my burning eyes, my shriveling lungs, my protesting limbs, I scoop her into my arms just as the red lights of the fire truck begin to glow against the side of the neighboring building.
I lift her through the opening and climb out, howling not because of the shards of glass that stab into my thigh. Not because of the flames that have seared my skin. Not because of the smoke that’s left me panting.
As the first responders round the corner and sweep the lifeless body out of my arms, I collapse to the ground, howling because I was too late. I hear the fiery crash of the ceiling beams caving in behind me.
I collapse to the ground. Reese is dead.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Leo
My eyes burn when I blink them open.
As my vision comes into focus, Charlie’s face is the first thing I see. He’s hovering over me, leaning all into my personal space. “Hey man. Can you hear me? Do you hear what I’m saying?”
There’s a tube pumping oxygen into my lungs and a machine monitoring my heart rate. “Would you back up off me?” I grit out. It comes out all garbled and the look on his face tells me he didn’t understand a word I just said.
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 20