My tense muscles relax a touch. “Looks like it,” I say and a smile breaks out across my face. “I got a scholarship,” I announce dramatically, shaking my fists with excitement like a crazy fanatic at a sporting event.
Xavier nods, his mouth full of pasta. “Well done,” he says from behind his fisted napkin.
My smile gradually fades into a frown. I’m still trying to make sense of how this happened. “It’s crazy. I don’t even remember applying for that scholarship and then, all of a sudden, there’s a check at my door with my name on it.”
This weird look zips across his face and he clears his throat. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah…” Uneasiness takes up a spot in my gut. “It’s almost like it fell out of the sky, straight into my lap.”
A broad shoulder heaves up. His eyes stay focused on his plate. “Don’t overthink it, love. Maybe it was just meant to be.”
“Maybe…” I sigh then grab the empty wine goblet in front of him and fill it halfway. “In any case, now, you have to have a celebratory drink with me. It would be bad manners not to.” I thrust the wine his way.
He drops the napkin into his lap and his gaze flicks downward as his shoulders grow taut with frustration at my offer. A searing kind of pain blinks across his expression, so fast I nearly miss it. But now it’s dug a groove into my consciousness and I can’t just pretend it’s not there. I can’t pretend that I don’t see the anguish lurking beneath his infuriatingly cocky exterior. Dammit—I’m an idiot.
Slowly, I set the glass down and push it to the far end of the table as his secret becomes glaringly obvious. He looks up at me. Heaviness pulses between us. He’s hurting. I can see that now. And it’s killing me to know that I’ve been sitting here all night, doling heaps of salt into his wounds.
“Sadie…I—”
With a slight head shake, I drop my hands into my lap. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
At that, he seems all the more determined to get it out. “I can’t have a drink with you. I’m an alcoholic.” His voice dips when he says it.
The confession hangs in the air. I wait, not wanting to jump in and say the wrong thing.
He continues. “I’ve only been going to meetings—abstaining—for a few weeks. Since I got to Copper Heights, actually. I…I…”
“I understand.” It’s all I say.
Silence settles across the table again.
So much shame and guilt on his face. “If this changes things for you, that’s understandable.”
I swallow. “My father is an alcoholic.”
His head hangs. He winces. “Shit…”
And I can see that he’s busy building up a case for why we shouldn’t be together in this way. I won’t allow him to go there.
“Is that why you spent so much time pushing me away?” My voice cracks around my words.
He shoves his plate aside, his appetite lost. “I’m fucking complicated, darling.” His shoves his massive hands through his hair, messing it all up.
I smile and let my hand sit on top of his. “Well, everyone who’s hung around on this planet for a couple of years ends up with some complications. It’s all about whether or not you’re willing to deal with them.”
“I should have told you sooner.” He swallows thickly. “But now that you know, it’s perfectly fine if you change your mind about spending time with me.”
He’s not getting it. “Come closer.” He doesn’t budge and I bend across the side of the table to wrap my fingers around the leg of his chair. Of course, I can’t pull him but I give it some effort anyway.
“What are you doing?” His lips are flat and his brows furrowed.
“Come. Closer.”
He blows a breath past his lips, no doubt annoyed by my persistence. But at least that gets him to scoot his chair across the carpeted floor until it’s jammed against mine. That desolate look on his face guts me, though. It may not be ladylike but I swing my leg across his lap and straddle him, my thighs squeezing against his hips. “Xavier, the difference between you and my father is that Dad won’t allow himself to admit that he has a problem and he definitely won’t seek help.” I press my lips to his temple and draw a trail down along his cheekbone. “‘Complicated’ doesn’t scare me. Not half as much as ‘closed off’ does. Don’t shut down on me. Please.”
He leans back, his eyes piercing into mine. The look he gives me is so raw, I feel it scraping against the last of my defences. “You’re fucking incredible,” he groans and buries his head against my collarbone. His lips and stubble drag along my chest. I purr at the sensation.
His cock is a hard rod, growing and pressing against my seam. My hips swivel on their own, lightly stroking against him. His big hands clamp down on my waist and he growls, nibbling at my cleavage.
“Fuck…” I whisper into his thick, dark waves. My lips touch his forehead, his hair.
And now, he’s moving beneath me, his pelvis tilting upward to drive me insane. All I feel is my lust and the primal urge for satisfaction at his hands. He angles his broad back toward the street. Gently, he lowers the neckline of my dress.
Yes, my breast is exposed in the middle of an Italian restaurant on a Wednesday night and I don’t give half a fuck. I just want him to taste me there.
He slows to a halt, his eyes on my hard nipple as the pad of his thumb rides it back and forth. He swallows hard. “Xavier…please.” I’d give him everything, anything he wants right now. Right here.
I toss my head back and cry out in disappointment when he slides the fabric back in place, sheathing my breast with the lace and the polyester again. He chuckles softly at my agony. Wicked man.
He takes my hand. “Come on, Love. We’ll be late for our movie.”
Chapter Nineteen
Xavier
Sadie cuddles the giant popcorn bucket to her chest as we move along the sidewalk toward our building. She’s wearing this huge smile as she hums the film’s theme song to herself. Tucking her shoes under her arm, she hops up onto the low ledge bordering the sidewalk and balances one bare foot in front of the other.
She looks so happy.
Beautiful and carefree under the glaring light of the streetlamp, soaking up this midsummer night. She’s a dream.
When she glances my way, her brows dip down slightly. “Why are you smiling?” she asks, her eyes sparkling prettily.
“Because you are.” I didn’t mean to say that. But it came slipping off my tongue. And it’s true. Her joy is captivating and I just want to bathe in it.
She shrugs a little. “Sorry if I’m a little ‘extra’ right now. I really, really wanted to see that movie. I was supposed to go with my ex—Cobi—a few weeks ago but…”
The street is eerily quiet. Almost as if the rest of the world was wiped out while we were sitting in that movie theatre and now she and I are the only two people left. I jam my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and walk alongside her. “It was a good movie. And your ex is a douche.” What I really want to do is twine my fingers with hers, pull her close, wrap an arm around her. But I keep my distance.
That niggling voice at the back of my head keeps reminding me of the truth. Sadie thinks she can trust me. She doesn’t realize who I really am. Getting too close to me will only cause her pain in the end. She may not know it. But I do.
What we started back at the restaurant was insane. The feeling of her pussy grinding against my dick had me straining so hard against my limits I thought I’d pop an artery. Fucking her would be explosive. If I got her in my bed, there’d be no stopping me until we were both blissfully crippled and spent.
But then what?
We’re supposed to just move on, forget about each other in the next six weeks when I leave? Or are we supposed to do the long-distance thing, keep a relationship going until I crush her completely, permanently? Sadie Nichols doesn’t know how much trouble she’s in for with me.
I nod my chin at the popcorn bucket and she obliges, slowi
ng her stride to feed a few buttery kernels into my mouth.
She looks at me, bites down on the corner of her lip. A tiny confession pours out. “I had a really good time tonight.”
Hearing her say that shouldn’t make my heart soar the way it does, it shouldn’t make my pulse beat faster. But I had a great time, too. And I don’t want the night to end, not without me taking her to my bed.
I want this girl.
I don’t deserve her. But I want her anyway.
The worst part is that she’s looking at me like she’d say yes. If I made a move, she’d let me. If I kissed her, she’d kiss me back and she’d let me slip my hand under her skirt to feel how wet she is for me. Then, she’d let me go even further.
I want to spend the night with her.
It’s right at my fingertips. All I have to do is reach out and take it.
That’s the part that’s driving me insane.
Abruptly, she stops. When I turn to glance at her, she grabs me by the arm and pulls me close, her small hand coming up to touch my face. So soft. Her lashes flutter and a breath later, she’s pressing her lips to mine. I want to put my hands on her, angle her head, rough my tongue through the seam of her lips. But I just stand there.
After a long beat of my immobility, she pulls back. She swallows and looks up at me. “Did I…Did I do something wrong?” The hurt in her voice sweeps across the space between us.
I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her in the direction of a bench lining the street right outside of our building. She lets me guide her to the seat.
I sit and she follows suit, setting her shoes and popcorn on the seat next to her. “Sadie, I like you so much but you realize that this thing between us can’t go anywhere, right?” I don’t mean to be harsh but we can’t let ourselves get carried away and lose sight of reality. She cringes. “I think that came out all wrong. I don’t want you thinking I’m not wildly attracted to you. I am. But…”
“Well, you’re not doing a great job at that. Because you’ve been flirting with me. Since day one. I know I’m not imagining it. But every time I try to get close to you, you find a way to push me away. What the fuck is your deal, Xavier? Are you—are you married or something?”
“No. Hell no.”
“Confused about your sexuality?”
“No, Sadie.”
“Is it uncontrollable flatulence? Really—you can tell me.”
I tilt my head to the side and watch her with annoyance. “Oh, c’mon…That again?”
“Erectile dysfunction.”
I grab her hand and cup it over my rock-hard erection. He lips part and a wispy breath comes out. My fingers guide hers downward and her jaw gets looser with each and every one of my nine and a half inches. “Does this erection seem dysfunctional to you?”
She shivers. “So what’s the problem?” she breathes out.
“I’m not the kind of man you deserve, Sadie.”
She inches back and her features tighten with anger. “So you’re saying that I’m not good enough for you? Because you’re a prince and I’m…nothing.”
I shake my head forcefully. She’s not understanding. “No, darling. I’m the one who’s not good enough. I’m the one who can’t give you what you need.”
“What do I need?” she challenges.
“Well, for starters, I can’t give you something permanent. I have to leave in just a few weeks.”
"Look, I get it. You’ve got to go back to Ridgeland. You're going to be king one day and I definitely don't have the trappings of a queen.” She lifts her hands and wiggles her fingers, illustrating her tattoos. “That's okay with me. I can handle temporary. I can handle a fling.” She slides her fingers into my hair. “But what I can't handle is knowing that you want me and not being able to have you when I want you just as much. Let’s just enjoy this. While you’re here, let’s just enjoy each other." Her hand falls to my chest, settling on my raging heart.
“It’s not that simple. I’ve done things. I’ve made mistakes that you don’t know about.”
Wanting her so bad nearly suffocates me. My longing wraps itself around my heart and squeezes. I don’t want to let this chance slip away. I don’t want to. “None of that will matter, Xavier. You don’t have to pour your deep, dark secrets out to me if you don’t want to. Because in a few weeks, you’ll be gone and we’ll never see each other again. So, it won’t matter.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth…” I tell her.
“I may sound callous, cruel, uncaring. I’m none of those things but I can tell you need somewhere to hide out from whatever ghosts have been haunting you. I can give you that at the very least. Let me.”
“Fuck…How do you always know the right thing to say?” My hands find themselves in her hair. They’re tilting her face to the side as my thumb runs across her bottom lip.
She breathes out. “Just fucking kiss me, Xavier.”
My hands clamp hard on her hips and push her into the arm of the wooden bench. The popcorn bucket topples over the side and the shoes go after it. She gasps, startled, as her back makes contact with the iron railing. “Be careful what you wish for, darling…” My lips move over hers and I taste her, long and slow, with my tongue thrusting deep into her warmth. “Because I am going to kiss you, Sadie. Not just your mouth. I’m going to kiss your neck…” My mouth feathers the tender skin right beneath her jaw and trails down to her collarbone. “I’m going to kiss your breasts…” Both of my hands cup her gorgeous tits, bringing them together, and I kiss her through the fabric of her dress. She moans and I drop my hand lower, cupping her mound. “I’m going to kiss your pretty little pussy…”
I rest my fingers at the base of her neck and slowly glide my palm up her smooth warm skin. She sighs and gooseflesh rises up. I relish the feel of them beneath my fingertips. I cup her cheek and tilt her face just a touch. Our lips meet again, brushing together and it’s electric. Sparks sputter the length of my spine. I’ve never met a woman who makes me feel the dizzying array of things she does. If just a kiss has this much power, what would it be like to join with her completely? To feel her body, naked and wet, moving in sync with mine? She would destroy me. No doubt about it. No chance I could survive it. Yet I want it all the same.
I swallow her moans with my lips on hers and I kiss her. I kiss her like a starving man. Because that's what I am.
God, she tastes good. Sweet and warm like honey. And just a little bit salty from the popcorn, of course. I lick into her mouth, wanting more of her unique flavor, wanting to hear her moan for more of me. My throbbing cock digs painfully into the seam of my jeans, begging to be closer to her. Every part of me wants to be closer to her.
When our lips separate abruptly, she groans from somewhere deep inside, her fingers still grasping for the hem of my shirt. Her eyes slowly blink open.
So pretty…
Dammit—I’m hungry enough to eat her alive right here on this damn bench. I rise to my feet, bolting up from the bench. Confused, she looks up at me from under her long lashes. I refuse to let my conscience get in the way any longer. I grab her hand and start walking off toward the stairs. “Come on. Let’s go.”
Chapter Twenty
Xavier
Patience.
People think that when you have money, you can buy anything, that you have the whole world at your command. That’s not true. There are things you can’t buy and as I stand here, watching Sadie fumble with the keys to her apartment, I realize that patience is one of those things I lack.
"Eager, much?" she chuckles as I clutch her sides with restless hands and grind my erection at the curve of her spine.
My lips skim her neck, my voice low and needy. "I've wanted this for so long. I'm hungry for you, darling. As the saying goes, I wanna eat your pussy like groceries."
You know you’re losing it when you start talking in Instagram memes. #Horny.
Sadie's head falls back to my chest and she laughs, her whole body shaking a
gainst mine. The vibration stokes the lust firing through my body. Temptation spikes. My hands find her breasts, kneading...needing.
Yeah, that line was cheesy but fuuuccckkk. I’m not at my sharpest right now, body bristling with untamed hormones. “You’re driving me mad, Sadie.”
She groans and tilts her mouth up to mine. I devour those sweet lips like a man who's been on keto for twenty-nine days.
I'm sick of waiting.
Deftly stealing the keys from her hands, I turn the lock and swing the door open. Sweeping her up into my arms, I storm across the threshold and thunder down the hall into her bedroom. When I toss her onto the bed, she bounces an inch into the air.
She laughs. It's a beautiful sound.
“Sorry,” I chuckle as my hands and knees come down on the bed. I toe off my shoes and they fall over the edge, each one hitting the floor with a thud. And then I'm crawling up over her frame.
Sadie shivers, her fingers searching for the button of my jeans. "Want you so much," she purrs right before my mouth covers hers.
The kiss is deep. Tongues dance. Teeth knock. I suck on her lips and she moans into my mouth. And then, those wet kisses travel down her jaw, her throat, into the valley of her breasts. I tug the fabric down with my teeth. Man—I've been waiting all night to get my mouth on these tits. I suck one tight nipple into my mouth while thumbing the other and it's every bit as heavenly as I'd imagined.
She purrs and arches. Her fingers lose themselves in my hair. She whispers a dozen dirty words under her breath.
I want her naked but I'm too frantic to take off her clothes. Lifting the hem of her skirt, I trail my lips up her thighs. My fingers flicker up her hips, searching for lace and silk and elastic trim. I don’t find any. I hiss when I discover that she’s bare. I’m so fucking turned on. “Where are your panties, Sadie?”
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 95