I’ve been hesitant to even consider dating since my wedding disaster two years ago. And come on—after what happened to me, who can blame me for being protective of myself? I have a PhD in heartache and abandonment. I could write a freaking dissertation on what happens when you trust the wrong man.
But more importantly, I have a daughter now.
Yup, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…unless you skip your period three weeks later, only to have the doctor tell you you’ve got a lentil pea-sized human taking up residence in your uterus.
I smile to myself and dust cupcake crumbs from my yoga pants as River, who’s snuggled up on my chest, whimpers in her sleep. I kiss the centre of her head and stroke her mop of dark hair. My lentil pea is almost a year and a half now.
Yes, my little girl is the center of my universe and protecting her from the cruel world is my number one priority. True, I get lonely sometimes but not lonely enough to let some overgrown frat boy penetrate my heart—or my vagina, for that matter—just because he adores long walks in the park and has an impressive dick print.
Reese's attention comes back to me as she tucks a lock of her thick, dark hair behind her ear. "So, what do you think, Soph?" She nods her chin in the direction of the pretty boy on the phone. Her feral excitement swells with each word. "Let’s send him a message!"
Nova’s already got the message box open on the screen. "Let's do this!” she hoots.
I clutch River protectively to my chest and rub small circles into her back. “I don’t think so, guys. I really don’t see myself with anybody right now.” I start spitting out justifications. “River’s still so young and I’m finally about to move the daycare out of my house, into a real daycare center. I have too much on my plate to even consider a relationship.”
The past two years have been tough. But every sacrifice has been worth it. From the moment I learned I was pregnant, every decision I've made has had her best interest at its core. Even when I’m terrified. Even when I’m exhausted. Even when I don’t know how I’m going to get us to the end of the week. River always comes first.
Growing up, I never had to work too hard. My parents kept me spoiled and pampered. I had unlimited access to my father’s credit cards and money popped up in my bank account every week like clockwork.
And then, there was Josh…Let's keep it real—Josh's dick was hardly the cervix-puncturing type but he was pretty and gave me a cushy life. Lavish weekend trips to New York City just for the heck of it. Designer clothes spilling out of a walk-in closet . Living the good life. And it was all funded by his parents.
True, I loved him but in retrospect, that wasn’t enough to sustain our relationship. I was too in love with the way my name looked next to his on paper. The prestige of being Mrs. Joshua Davies overruled all logic and common sense. I turned a blind eye to everything else because I was so caught up in my fairytale.
I was so damn superficial. So caught up in looking like I had it all. When I think back on it now, it's embarrassing. But thankfully, I'm not that person anymore—a complacent, pampered, out-of-touch idiot who dropped everything that mattered to me in the name of a one-sided love.
Never. Again.
Josh’s betrayal made me a stronger person. I stand on my own two feet. Even when they're tired and swollen and covered in bunions and stuffed into ratty, scuffed-up sneakers from Target.
I’m proud of who I’ve become, as a mother, as a businesswoman, as a person. I’m self-reliant for the first time in my life. And that’s a big deal.
“At least take another look at him before you say no, Sophia.” Reese clasps her hands together and pouts, begging me with her eyes.
With a sigh, I take the phone from her hand and examine the man's face again. It's perfect. His body is, too. In an airbrushed, Instagram-filtered sort of way. But it does nothing for me.
Big, rough hands. A strong, scruffy jaw. A playful, arrogant smirk. Dark, intense eyes. That’s the only image my body responds to ever since that night in Vegas. It’s kind of sad the way my whole system reacts to the mere thought of him.
It wasn't love.
It was nothing more than a one-night stand.
That’s what I’m still trying to convince myself of. Except every time I look at my daughter, I know it’s not that simple.
"Soph?!” Nova snaps her fingers and I jolt. "Are we sending this message or not?"
I scrunch up my nose and shake my head. "Nah, I'll pass."
Reese slumps back in her chair and folds her arms, disappointment in her tone. "Why? He seems nice."
I glance at him again. "He's so..." I rotate my wrist in the space in front of me as I search for the perfect word.
"So...?" Reese prods me along.
"So...symmetrical."
Nova gives me a look of bewilderment. I giggle softly, shrugging a shoulder as I reach for another cupcake.
A sardonic laugh catapults from her throat. "Oh, okay. I forgot. Your type is bug eyes and lopsided nostrils...And micro-dick prints, of course."
I tilt my head to the side and glare at her. "You know what I mean. I just don't need another heartache at the hands of a well-heeled, overly-groomed, starch-collared jerk.”
I’m not about that plastic life. Not anymore.
Thankfully, I see the understanding dawning in Reese's eyes. "Okay, maybe a dating app is a little too adventurous for you. Maybe we just need to go the old-fashioned route, y'know? Go to a bar and have a drink." She gathers her hair off of her neck and twists it into a loose bun as she speaks.
Nova's emerald eyes light up. "Oh, that sounds like fun. We could use a night out. A girls' night on the town."
I twist up my nose, not afraid to let my facial expression convey how I feel about the idea.
"Come on, Soph!" Reese slaps me playfully on the back of the hand.
Nova sighs, her shoulders tumbling in defeat. "I know that things are different now. So much has changed in the past two years. A lot of it good. I mean, we have businesses to run and babies to feed and cocks to suck..."
Reese chokes on a bite of her cupcake.
“Prude,” Nova teases and gives her a solid slap on the back before continuing, "I don't want us to grow apart. I don't want to lose you bitches."
Despite her indelicate delivery, my friend’s words sink in. We’ve been growing apart.
Cupcake Sunday used to be our weekly tradition. Once a week, we'd gather at Reese's kitchen table to keep her company as she experimented with different recipes for her cupcake shop. We'd laugh and gossip and eat until we were stuffed. (Actually, Nova and Reese would eat until they were stuffed. I would sneak a few nibbles of frosting between passive aggressive text messages from my mother’s personal trainer, reminding me of which upcoming events on her social calendar required me to fit into a size two Oscar de la Renta.)
In recent times, Cupcake Sunday has become way too sporadic. Because we let life get in the way.
Going to a bar and letting random guys hit on me is the absolute last thing I feel like doing but as a single mom, my connection with my girlfriends is important to me. Sometimes, it’s what keeps me sane. When they aren’t driving me crazy, of course.
I rough out a breath. "All right. Fine. I'll go." I glance at Nova. "Are you happy now?"
She flashes a row of dazzling, white teeth. "Ecstatic!"
Right then, the front door bursts open and a freight train of commotion barrels inside. “We’re home!” Leo announces as he plods through the doorway with the twins strapped to his body in a scary-looking baby-carrying contraption.
Brenton excitedly swerves around him and runs straight for Reese, leaping into her arms. “Hi everybody!” the little boy calls out. Leo and the twins join in the hug.
Charlie follows behind, taking careful steps with tiny Madalyn clutched to his chest like precious cargo. “Hey ladies.” Nova meets them halfway and greets them both with exuberant kisses.
It’s pure chaos and it wakes River right up. Startled and disoriente
d, my little one starts to scream bloody murder. I shush into her ear, trying in vain to calm her amid the noise. My attempts fail.
I rise from my chair, grabbing my diaper bag from the floor by my feet. “Guys, that’s my cue. I’m gonna get going.”
Nova throws me a disappointed look as she pulls free of Charlie’s arms. “So soon?”
I gesture with my chin to my crying toddler. “Sorry. Gotta go.”
“Grab some leftovers,” Reese suggests, her arms still tangled around her husband’s waist.
I throw a quick glance at the digital clock on the stove. If I leave right now and speed-walk it to the bus stop, I’ll probably catch the 58 bus, I calculate. “Next time,” I tell her.
“Let me drop you off,” Leo offers as he struggles to unlock the twins buckled up to his chest.
I shake my head as I hustle toward the door. “You’re tired. Go rest. Hang out with your family.” I pull River’s hat over her head then put on her shoes. “We’re fine.”
As I swing the door open, Charlie calls out after me. “I haven’t forgotten I promised to paint the daycare center for you, Soph. Just been really busy. But I’ll send a guy over there to take care of that. Soon.”
“You really don’t have to. I’ve got it.” I don’t want to burden my friends. They’ve been so great to me. But they have their own lives and I’m done being the charity case. No more leaning on others and putting my faith and my future in someone else’s hands.
Nova plants a fist on her hip and groans with exasperation. “Stop being supermom, Sophia. Accept some help once in a while.”
I throw on a smile and do my best to project the image of a woman who’s got this single mom thing under control. “Have a good evening, folks.” And I slip out the door before they extend one more offer or pitying glance my way.
As I hustle toward the sidewalk, I see the 58 whiz by at the end of the block. “Fudge!” I mutter under my breath.
Momentarily, I consider going back and taking Leo up on his offer to drive us home, but when I glance through the picture window looking into the living room, I see my friends with their husbands and their children. Laughing and talking. They’re families.
I force away the jealousy that rises. I'm happy for them. I’m genuinely happy for them. Even though my life is far from picture perfect like theirs.
River babbles contentedly against my chest. I smile at her and kiss the top of her head as I turn back toward the street, ready to start the long walk home.
“You’ve got this, Soph,” I mutter under my breath. “You’ve got this.”
Chapter Two
Archie
"The chick I was with last night? Man—her tits were like water balloons. Huge. I mean, huge. And squishy as hell. I almost forgot to fuck her. I just wanted to snuggle up against them and suck my thumb like a baby.”
“Whatever it takes to resolve those mommy issues, man.”
The dumbass on my left—I’ve been calling him Dave and the name suits him because he’s basic like that—leans across to high-five the dumbass on my right—let’s call him Jim since I can’t remember his name, either.
I feel like I’m trapped in the middle of a low-budget American Pie remake. These guys are clueless. Like late-bloomers just discovering all the magic tricks their little sausages can perform.
I’m sure hell is a lot like this.
What the fuck is taking so long? I ease forward and crane my neck to look out the front windshield. The sky is gray. The weather's been shit since I got here two days ago. The constant drizzle has dialed up to pounding rain by the time Charlie's beat-up Silverado pulls up to the gas pump in front of ours. Both doors pop open then he and Leo exit the vehicle.
Meanwhile, the scintillating conversation around me continues. “It's getting harder and harder to find a good, fuckable pair of tits around here. I don't know what the hell's happening in this town." Jim shakes his head, lamenting what he surely considers to be a tragedy of monumental importance.
Through the windshield, Charlie throws a quick salute in our direction then feeds the spout of the gas pump into the truck's gas tank.
While he fills up, Leo saunters over to our truck. He pops his head in through the open front window and cranes his neck to look at the three of us packed into the back seat like sardines. "Any of you need anything inside?"
Dave doesn’t miss a beat. "Grab me some Doritos, bro. Cool ranch. And a Gatorade. The blue one. I need to get my energy up after last night." He winks. Leo's eyes do a full 360-degree rotation.
"Gimme the same thing," Jim says. "Uh, please."
Leo's annoyed gaze transitions into straight-up pity when it turns to me. His attention falls to where my left hand is rubbing small circles on my knee in a silent prayer for the razor-sharp stinging to let up.
Hating the look of woe in my friend’s expression, I growl and his eyes quickly return to my face. I know it's not his intention to make me feel like shit but still..."Walk inside with me, Jones,” he prods. “You look like you could use some fresh air."
Shaking my head 'no' takes an obscene amount of energy.
An inkling of a smile works its way across his face. "You sure you don't need a break from the cheap body spray fumes poisoning the truck?" He motions toward Dave and Jim with his chin.
He has a point. The level of drug store brand cologne in this enclosed space is toxic. But I don't think I care. My will to live is pea-sized.
My voice grates across my vocal chords. I haven't been using it much these days. "Nah. I'm good."
Leo sighs with exasperation. “Damn, I can’t even get half a smile out of you? What happened to Sergeant Good Times?”
Sergeant Good Times got blown to bits by a roadside bomb and stitched back together again in a military hospital. But he already knows that.
He stalls for a second and observes me again. I glare at the intrusion. What? Is he a fucking psychologist now? He takes a hint, thankfully, and pushes off the side of the truck. "All right, then. Suit yourself.“ He raps his knuckles against the hood and then turns toward Charlie who's just finished filling up the tank.
As my two buddies stroll toward the gas station's convenience store, Dave snorts like a damn buffoon. "As I was saying, all the hot chicks in Copper Heights are getting wifed up by greedy assholes who don't wanna share." He tilts his head toward Leo and Charlie as they're stepping inside.
Listening silently, I open and close the fingers of my left hand, praying the burning sensation will stop.
Jim's head bobs up and down. "Yeah, those two lucked out. Their chicks are hot! Have you seen Nova's ass, man?"
Dave makes a lust-filled sound. "Yeah, dude. An ass like that makes me wish my face was a toilet seat. If I had the chance, I would totally—"
His words cut off abruptly when my fiery glare snaps in his direction. What the hell is wrong with this guy?
He clears his throat and mumbles. "Sorry, man. We’re all bros in here. I got a little carried away with the smack-talking. That’s all."
We are most definitely not bros. And there’s no way I'm gonna sit here and let some asshole disrespect my friends’ wives.
Maybe I'm a bit over-sensitive but Charlie and Leo are more than my best friends. They're my fucking family. Together, we’ve ducked through the tangled vines of the humid jungle in the godforsaken middle of nowhere. We've stood shoulder to shoulder at death's door.
Yes, they got out of the service before I did but that didn’t dim our brotherhood. And after the shit I went through on my last tour of duty, Leo and Charlie were standing at my bedside, haranguing me to keep fighting for my life when I was begging god to pull me under.
When I finally got out of the hospital, I found myself behind the wheel of my Chevy, driving from state to state again, drifting aimlessly, unable to sit still. And Charlie and Leo were constantly blowing up my phone with their goddamned corny motivational speeches. But what did I expect? That’s what happens to men who spend too much time watching Oprah r
eruns with their wives.
They finally wore me down. They convinced me to come to Copper Heights for a little while, to catch my breath.
Now, here I am, doing scutwork for Captain Save A Bro Inc., ahem, Hartley Construction.
This is totally Charlie's modus operandi, by the way. Jumping into the middle of people's business, making himself the hero. It’s exactly what he did when Leo's ex left him. Charlie lured the poor guy to Hell-Hole, Illinois, with the promise of a job and a house. Now, two years later, Leo’s got a wife and a house full of kids. Good for him but that white-picket-fence-life isn’t in the cards for me. In my heart, I’m a wanderer. I’ve put my life on the line to protect the American Dream. Even though I know I’ll never get the chance to actually live it out myself.
My chest twitches with regret when the beautiful face of that girl from Las Vegas suddenly blinks across my thoughts. Daisy…
Anyway, I’m not saying that Charlie's bad. He's just stupid. Like Leo. They think they’re gods. That they can hold the world together even as it's crumbling all around. That it’s their job to save the day.
I used to think that way, too. That’s why I went into the military to begin with. But now I see that I was wrong. I'm just a helpless fool like the next guy. My last overseas mission left me with the scars to remind me of that every day. The nerve damage is just one item in the catalog of shit that's wrong with me.
After a few minutes, another guy from the construction team jumps into the front passenger seat. Then Pauly, the round-bellied prick driving our truck, pops back inside with an armful of snacks just for himself.
He's got nacho crumbs and cheese shreds dangling from his long, bushy beard again. I don't bother to tell him about it because I made that mistake earlier this morning and I got dragged into a conversation about how he's been eating his emotions since his wife left him sixteen months, two weeks and five days ago. He lamented having lost track of the number of hours.
In any case, Leo is at the window a second later, tossing snacks into the backseat like Santa on Christmas morning. And then, both trucks are pulling onto the road. Hartley Construction’s A-team is headed to work on a huge shopping center project they've been on for the last few months.
The Blue Collar Bachelors Box Set: The Complete Blue Collar Bachelors Series Page 107