Rafe comes traipsing up the hill with a stupid grin on his face. ‘I’ll give you two some time together,’ Esmé says and walks down through the cemetery, her fingers splayed and brushing over the tops of the gravestones.
Rafe sits down under the tree next to me.
‘I’m sorry about Mr Bobble,’ I say.
He looks at me and shrugs.
‘Thanks for helping me,’ I say.
‘OK,’ he mumbles. He scribbles something furiously on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I want your PS3, it says.
‘Screw you,’ I say and punch him on his shoulder and then pull him into an awkward hug. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever willingly hugged my brother and the experience is actually not that bad.
I phone Tone and tell him that I agree. I have a month’s break and then I’m going to be attending Hexpoort, a reformatory school that is actually a front for an MK6 training academy. It means I’m not going to go to jail but also that the rest of my schooling is going to be in the hands of sangomas. If I’m forced to play Quidditch, I swear, someone is going to get shot.
This arrangement mollifies my parents but it’s still weeks before I’m allowed to leave the house without supervision. My first excursion is to the beach. I trudge down the stairs to Clifton Second Beach, my flip-flops slapping the concrete in an irregular rhythm.
I push my sunglasses down onto my nose as I reach the soft white sand and scan the area, finding a familiar figure standing at the water’s edge. He’s wearing his army boots and trench coat with silk cartoon boxers and no shirt underneath.
‘All right, sparky?’ he asks.
I nod. ‘You?’
He opens his trench coat to show me the empty scabbard.
‘You’ll find another gun, Ronin.’
‘It won’t be the same,’ he sniffs and lifts his hip flask to his lips. ‘I’m seeing more of Sue though,’ he says. ‘We’re trying to work things out.’ I think of Ronin and Sue together and wonder how much of ‘working things out’ involves knife-fighting and full-contact kick-boxing.
‘Maybe she’ll give you Warchild back,’ I say brightly.
‘Yeah and maybe she’ll give me her heart and lungs too,’ he says with a snort.
He hands me the hip flask and I take a sip of the burning liquid.
‘I was expelled from school,’ I say.
He nods. ‘I heard. But, hey, I don’t have a high-school education.’
‘Yeah, and look how you ended up,’ I say.
‘True,’ he says with a grin.
‘Tone got me into Hexpoort,’ I say.
He whistles through his teeth. ‘My old alma mater,’ he says. ‘You’re going to be getting some pretty gnarly education, sparky.’
‘Awesome,’ I say with a sigh. I miss my life already. Zikhona and the Inhalant Kid are trying their best to fit back into normal school life. It’s difficult. The Spider gave power and authority. Now they have to get people to like them. Kyle is managing OK although I think he’s a little depressed. He still thinks I made a big mistake and that we could have dodged the bullet. But he’s coming to terms with it slowly. I miss them and I miss dealing porn. It wasn’t so much the money as the sweaty, eager faces clamouring for the next hit. I know it wasn’t exactly noble. But it was fun and I was good at it. Sometimes it seems like that should be enough.
‘You’ll find your way, sparky,’ Ronin says. ‘We all do eventually. And after you’re done, you can work with me. We could be like Batman and Robin.’
‘You want me to dress up in tights, old man?’ I say.
‘Dress however you want,’ he says with a grin. ‘Just remember that I’m the one in charge. I’m serious, think about it. Fighting supernatural crime and saving Cape Town from beasties, demons and freaks.’
‘Sounds all right,’ I say.
‘All right?’ Jackie asks, fixing me with his blowtorch eyes. ‘It’s fucking life-affirming is what it is.’
And you know what? Maybe he’s right. Hear that in your third eye.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Writing a book is hard. Here are the people that deserve thanks for making the journey that much easier. Thank you.
To Lauren Beukes for being my friend, all-round writing Miyagi and the only mentor that’s ever mattered. Thank you for everything.
To my agent John Berlyne for all the help and sage advice. Your input has been invaluable.
To Sarah Lotz for all the enthusiasm, encouragement and feedback.
To Joey Hi-Fi for the truly magnificent covers.
To Nechama Brodie, Matt du Plessis and Sam Wilson for being my first readers.
To Jack Fogg at Century for really getting it and for being so supportive.
To my own high-school Spider for chasing the Mantis with me.
To Deni and Carlin for being my favourite inter-dimensional wizards.
To both my grandfathers for all the stories.
To my beautiful wife Georgia for being the best muse I could ever ask for an to my talented step-daughter Chloé for all the fun and laughter.
Finally to my parents, Pru and Ian, for always being there for me and for recognising that not all those who wander are lost. Thank you.
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Version 1.0
Epub ISBN 9781448150922
www.randomhouse.co.uk
Published by Century 2013
2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
Copyright © Charlie Human 2013
Charlie Human has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work
This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
First published in Great Britain in 2013 by
Century
Random House, 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road,
London SW1V 2SA
www.randomhouse.co.uk
Addresses for companies within The Random House Group Limited can be found at: www.randomhouse.co.uk
The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 9781780891316
Apocalypse Now Now Page 28