The honey-complexioned hand stretched out to her seem to offer more than just a sway around the backyard and for a minute Maritza wished she could just put all pretenses aside and let the man who had been heating up her nights for the past year take her for a spin that didn’t involve bed-sheets and condoms.
If only she could get over her feelings about why it was necessary that they keep their relationship under wraps and just give in…
She shook her head quickly and pursed her lips.
Terrill’s happy expression seemed to melt right off of his face and Maritza felt her heart lurch.
Disappointing her lover broke her heart, providing one more reason why she should end things with him. She would never really be able to make him happy. It just wasn’t in her to do so.
But man, did she want to…
Terrill shook his head and walked away.
Maritza let out a long breath and squared her shoulders. She would make it up to him that night when they were alone in the hotel. It would be fine for as long as she could make it so…
Chapter 6
Things had to change, but he had no idea how he could make them change. He and Maritza had painted themselves into a narrowly defined, clandestine affair with very limited options. He didn’t want to continue in the same way they were going and she didn’t want to change a thing. They were stuck and it scared him how much he was ready to just walk away if she couldn’t give him more.
Because if he walked away, that would be it. They would be over.
And he didn’t want that. Because when it was just the two of them and he had her to himself, things were amazing. The only thing he needed to make everything perfect was for her to agree to make their relationship public. The one thing she wouldn’t or couldn’t do.
Almost another year had gone by and Penny and Jason were expecting their first child now. Joel and Samantha were about to get married. And Terrill felt as if everyone’s dreams were coming true but his. He was a multimillionaire and could afford just about anything he wanted in the world.
But he couldn’t tell the world that Maritza Morales was his girl.
And now he was running late for a surprise birthday party Jason was throwing for Penny in Paterson. No doubt Maritza was already there, because God forbid they show up as a couple to any event where there were friends and family present.
I’m getting tired of this shit.
He walked into the Masonic Temple and sure enough, he had missed the big surprise. People were talking and dancing and having fun. He spotted Maritza looking lovely in a sexy red dress that highlighted all of her curves in all the right ways. He had to stop himself from going over and asking her to dance, even though that was the only thing he wanted to do. It was as if his body was on some kind of autopilot where she was concerned. If she was in the room, his body zeroed in. He knew if he asked her to dance she would say no. And he didn’t feel like being shot down.
Maybe it was time to give up and move on. He couldn’t take the public rejection and secrecy anymore.
He gave the room another once-over and saw a petite, Lauren London–looking cutie swaying to the music. If nothing else, maybe Maritza needed to see that just because she wouldn’t dance with him in public didn’t mean that some woman wouldn’t.
“Would you like to dance?”
The little cutie seemed hesitant at first, but she shrugged, offered her hand and let him lead her to the dance floor.
A fast R&B track by one of his hottest new artists was playing. And even though he had heard the song more times and in more versions than he could count, so much so that he was almost sick of it, actually, he managed to get caught up in the moment and dancing with a woman who actually seemed to want to be seen with him in a public place.
It felt nice.
It would have felt better if he were dancing with Maritza.
But at least he knew now that he was tired of letting her set the agenda. He wanted more and he would have it or he would have nothing.
Coming to that decision felt like taking a load off. He decided to put his relationship with Maritza in the back of his mind for the moment and focus on his dance partner.
“So what’s your name? And how do you know my best friend, Penny?”
“My name is Minerva. And I actually just met Penny. I’m here with Lawrence, her brother-in-law. Do you know him?”
“Sure do. I pretty much grew up in that house. My other best friend is his brother, Penny’s husband, Jason. Penny, Jason and I have been friends ever since we were kids. They used to call us the Three Musketeers.” He smiled at the memory.
“Really? That’s cool you all managed to remain friends all this time. What’s your name, by the way?”
“My name is Terrill. So you’re here with Lawrence, huh?”
Terrill remembered the beatdowns the older Hightower brothers, Patrick and Lawrence, used to hand out to Jason, Joel and Terrill when they were kids. He didn’t think his dancing with the cutie would have Lawrence ready to hand out one of his old-school beatdowns. And he was pretty sure that he could hold his own and maybe even best him now that they were grown. But he wasn’t itching to test that theory.
He chuckled. “I better cut this dance short. I don’t want him to come over here and put me in my place or anything like that.”
“Please, it’s not even like that.” She giggled. The girl was sweet and seemed so innocent. Almost too damn innocent for Lawrence, that was for sure. Terrill had a natural inclination to be a protector when it came to women. And just looking at little Minerva pushed all his protector buttons.
He was just about to end the dance when he noticed Lawrence on the dance floor with Maritza.
The Hightower had his hands on Terrill’s woman.
“If you say so. But it looks like he’s found a dance partner. Hmm…interesting choice.” Terrill knew there was a bristle in his voice, but damn if he could control it.
Minerva turned to look at the dancing couple and Terrill could see that she was upset. She plastered a smile on her face and turned back to Terrill. “See, I told you that you have nothing to worry about. Lawrence seems too busy to be concerned about what we’re doing.”
“Indeed he is.”
Minerva nervously glanced at the dancing couple again. “That’s Maritza Morales, the former video girl, right?”
“Yep. She’s a business partner of Penny’s. They own an image-consulting firm. I’m a silent partner in their business.”
“Really? That seems cool.”
“I’m also a record company executive.”
“Wow! That must really be exciting,” Minerva said, as her eyes continued to dart back to Lawrence and Maritza.
Terrill could tell that she was trying to be polite and carry on a conversation with him, but when the music slowed down, all bets were off.
Hell, watching Lawrence and Maritza move closer together and sway to the slow groove almost made him blow a gasket. So he could certainly understand why Minerva might not have been in the most conversant of moods.
Lawrence and Maritza ended up right next to them on the dance floor. And just as Terrill was about to pull Minerva closer, at least as close as Lawrence was holding Maritza, Lawrence reached for Minerva.
“You don’t mind if we switch partners, do you, Terrill? I want to dance with my baby now.” Lawrence smoothly spun Maritza toward Terrill and pulled Minerva to him.
“I don’t want to dance with him!” Maritza screeched.
“Shut up, Maritza.” Terrill pulled Maritza into his arms and danced her away.
“People are going to see,” Maritza complained.
“Can I tell you how much I don’t give a damn who sees, Maritza? Damn! So what if they see? Are you ashamed of me or something?” Terrill tried to speak calmly without making a scene and continued to hold Maritza close to him. “Look, everyone saw Lawrence come swoop up his woman. Everyone is paying attention to them and not us. Why don’t we just take this moment to share a dance in public once an
d for all?”
She let out a sigh of resignation. “I’m not ashamed of you. You know that’s not why…I just…”
He pulled her closer and fought the urge to inhale her sweet scent. “You’re my woman, Maritza, and I want the world to know it.”
“I know, Terrill. I’m your woman and what we have is too special to me to share with anyone right now. I want to protect what we have for as long as I can. Can you imagine the tabloids? ‘Music mogul Terrill Carter dating former video ho Maritza Morales’—”
He had to cut her off. “First of all. Anyone who calls my woman a ho will have to deal with me, and that includes you. Don’t think I won’t spank that ass.” He gave her behind a gentle tap and squeeze.
She wiggled her behind and pressed closer before she remembered that they were in public. “See, Terrill, this is exactly why—”
He tapped her bottom again, this time a little harder. “If you don’t want to make a scene you better be quiet.”
She gritted her teeth and smiled an icy smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Her lips and mouth might have been frozen in irritation, but her eyes were liquid pools of desire. It was as if she was at war with herself and Terrill knew which side he was rooting for to win.
“That’s better…second, you were a video model, a dancer, one of the best to ever do it. Third, you are one of the most beautiful and passionate women I have ever known. Why wouldn’t I want the world to know that you are mine? How can I continue to keep the best thing that has ever happened to me a secret? How can you continue to ask that of me?” Terrill spoke the words right into her ear as they swayed to Luther’s “If Only for One Night.”
“Can we not do this here, Terrill? Please.”
He took a deep breath. “I will put off the discussion for now if you make me a promise.”
“Always bargaining.”
“That’s why I always get what I want,” Terrill said with a wink and a smile.
“Fine. What will I have to agree to do?”
“Ah…so willing…that’s the way I like my woman.”
“Yeah, yeah. What am I signing up for?”
“A long weekend in Saint Lucia. Four days, all inclusive, just you and me and no one else to get in our way.”
“Umm…you had me at long weekend… Of course I’ll go. You didn’t have to press for that.”
“That’s not all. In those four days we are going to reevaluate and renegotiate our relationship, among other things.”
“Oh, you had to go and put restrictions on a perfect trip.” She pouted playfully and he had to fight back the urge to capture that bottom lip between his teeth and kiss her deeply.
“That’s right. This trip is about business, Maritza. And we will not leave there the same way we go there.”
She squinted and looked off into the distance.
He wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her that she didn’t have anything to be afraid of. That he wasn’t going anywhere and they were going to be together forever. But something told him she was nowhere near ready to hear that. He only hoped that she would be ready to hear it when they went to Saint Lucia, because he hadn’t lied when he said they would not leave the island the same way they arrived. Either they would return to the States an out-in-the-open-for-the-world-to-see couple, or they would return no longer a couple at all.
Terrill left the record company a little later than usual, but luckily he was using the company’s private jet to fly them to Saint Lucia. He knew she would have probably made a big production about them traveling separately if they took a commercial flight. And he didn’t want to hear it or deal with it. He wanted to travel with his woman on a romantic getaway.
He picked Maritza up from her loft and had his driver drop them off at the airport. As soon as they got in the jet, he pulled her into his arms. She fell into him openly and willingly, pressing her lips to his before he even had a chance to kiss her.
He felt as if he could taste how much she wanted him. Her tongue twirled around in his mouth like it was happy to be home and he was sure his tongue was doing the same thing in her mouth.
Again he wondered why they were denying themselves all that they could be together. And again he couldn’t think of one good reason.
He sat down and pulled her onto his lap, still kissing her like a man dying of thirst who’d found the world’s last fountain. She straddled him and held his face between her hands, the kiss becoming increasingly intense. He started to undo her blouse so that he could feel her silky skin.
It was only when the captain announced that they needed to prepare for liftoff that he worked up the strength to pull away.
Maritza straightened up her clothes and moved over to her own seat, right next to him.
“As soon as we hit cruising altitude…” He narrowed his eyes and let his hand caress her thigh. “You and me have a date with the mile high club.”
She laughed. “That has to be one of the best perks of a private jet. Makes you wish you had one of your own instead of the company jet, huh?”
“We’ll see if you’re so saucy when you’re screaming my name in the clouds,” Terrill warned playfully.
“Promises, promises, promises…” She crossed her legs and uncrossed them. “I should warn you, Mr. Carter…I’m not wearing any underwear…”
He loosened his tie and shook his head. “See…you are going to learn to stop playing with me, girl.”
She shivered and offered him a sexy wink. “But you’re so much fun to play with.”
He chuckled and she shivered again.
“I’m glad we’re taking this trip, Maritza.”
“We’ve taken plenty of trips in the past two years, Terrill. Why are you trying to make it seem as if I’ve deprived you or something? Just about any time you want to see me I’m there. If you want to take a trip I’m there. I’m here for you.”
“Yeah, you are here for me, just so long as nobody knows it. Why is that? I mean, at first I thought you just wanted to be sure that I was for real and not playing. But after over two years, if you don’t know that I am down for the long haul then I don’t know what to tell you, babe.”
Maritza took a deep breath and tried to figure out a way to put all her fears and insecurities on the table, a way to get Terrill to understand where she was coming from. But she couldn’t do it.
She wiped her hands on her slacks because they felt clammy and sweaty at the same time, if that were possible. Her heart seemed to be pounding in her chest, beating out an SOS call, no doubt.
She didn’t dare look at Terrill because she knew this weekend was make-or-break time. She’d just thought she’d have the entire four days to gather up the courage to either love him the way he deserved to be loved or leave him alone.
“Do we have to talk about this now, Terrill? We have all weekend—”
He cut her off. “Yes, we have to talk now, Maritza. I thought about just going with the flow and letting the conversation play out over the course of the weekend. But that plan just never quite works out for us, does it? It didn’t work on Saint Kitts last year or on Grand Cayman. It didn’t work on Barbados earlier this year or in Cancun. We get away from it all. And I have high hopes that you are going to finally do the right thing and just let me love you. But you never do. All we have is a hot weekend of fun and sun and sex to show for it and I don’t want that to be the only thing we have to show for it this time. I need more and so do you.”
“I’m fine the way we are, Terrill. We don’t have to share this with anyone but us. We don’t have to worry about what anyone says or thinks. I just think we should keep things as they are for as long as we can. For as long as it lasts.”
“See, that’s where we have always been different, babe. You have always had an expiration date on our relationship and I have always seen us as no limit.”
He ran his hand across his face in frustration.
She folded her arms across her chest. She had two options at this point. She could come clean
once and for all about everything in her past that made her reluctant to be linked to any powerful man publicly, especially one she loved to distraction…or she could try and get him to give her a little more time, knowing she would probably never go public.
She looked at him with her whole heart and she felt his breaking.
She loved him and she was hurting him.
“I will never be what you need, Terrill, not everything you need. I won’t bring our relationship out in the open now. I can’t say I will ever do that. But I do love you. I love you. Can that be enough?”
He chuckled and for the first time it didn’t sound sexy. It sounded hollow and hard. He shook his head and she thought she saw a tear fall down his cheek.
“Terrill, please—”
“No, Maritza. No. You know what? I can’t do this anymore. If you don’t want to be my woman in every way that counts, I’m talking out in the open, down the aisle, mother of my children…if you really don’t see any of that in our future, then we really don’t have a future. And if we don’t have a future then I don’t think we should waste any more time doing this…whatever it is we’re doing.”
He turned to her, his face hard as granite. “It’s your call.”
“I can’t, Terrill, please…”
He just ignored her and walked over to the plane’s intercom. The next thing she knew he was telling the captain to turn the plane around and take them back. They weren’t even going to get that last trip together and build that last memory and it was all her fault.
Chapter 7
Maritza poured herself into her work and tried to find a way to combat the overwhelming sadness that had become a part of her everyday existence. On the outside she was still the successful, no-nonsense businesswoman who didn’t take any crap from anyone—with an icy shell on the outside for protection.
But on the inside she was all pink and girly and so hurt she didn’t think she would ever heal. And she couldn’t even blame Terrill. She couldn’t blame anyone but herself.
Ready for Love Page 11