by Kelsie Rae
And I haven’t decided which way I want it to go.
I thought I had. Then Mr. Davis showed up and rocked me to my core.
“You didn’t need to drop them off personally. You could’ve just mailed them back to my lawyer. I uh…I don’t need to see them,” I mutter.
“I felt like you needed an explanation.” Clearing his throat, he shifts closer. “Although, now that I’m here, I can’t really figure out what to say.” His deep chuckle tugs at my soul, reminding me of happier times. Ones that I miss more than anything else in the world.
Instead of asking all the questions I’m dying to, I start with a simple one. “Where have you been?”
I already know. And he probably already knows that I know. But, still. I need to hear it from him.
“I spent a few weeks in Kenya then flew straight to the Dominican Republic.”
“Why?” I choke out.
“You were right that day. Actually, you’ve been right a lot of times.” He laughs at the realization before giving me a sexy wink that could melt the panties off a nun. “Don’t let it go to your head.” A ghost of a smile threatens to slip through my icy demeanor, but I keep it locked inside with all the ache and hurt that’ve been my best friends for the past three months. Sensing my hesitation, he sobers and continues. “When everything blew up in my dad’s office, I learned that I wasn’t the man you thought I was. I mean, I guess I knew I was a pretty shitty guy before that. After all, it was the persona I was selling to everyone. Hell, I even sold it to you when I first came home. But then everything got out of hand, and I got greedy. I lied to you to get what I wanted. I didn’t give a shit about the consequences, and if I’m being totally honest, I was shocked you bought it. I spewed a bunch of horseshit that I’d learned while sitting next to a hot girl on an airplane on my way home from Croatia. But you believed it. You believed me. You believed in me.” His words are laced with disbelief as he scratches his jaw.
“Then, because I was a selfish bastard, I let you continue to believe it. I didn’t ever own up to the fact that I lied to you. And if I could go back, I’d change that, Skye. I’d give anything to take away the pain I caused. But I can’t. Still, I planned on ending things between us before the truth ever slipped out. I thought that, in the end, it wouldn’t matter. Then I got to know you. I got to see what it was like to be looked at like I wasn’t a waste of space. Like I mattered. Like I could actually be a good guy. Like I could give back to society instead of taking. And taking. And taking. Because that’s all I ever did. And when we were in that office, I realized that, even though I wanted to be different, it was still all I was doing. I took money from my father. I took your trust and innocence from you. I took Brody’s favorite person in the world from him. I hadn’t changed at all. But I knew that I needed to. I’m not perfect, and I never claimed to be, but when I was with you, I felt like I stood a chance. I wanted the real deal too, but I knew I’d never be able to give it to you if I was a fraud in the first place. Anyway.” He laughs awkwardly before shifting the damn divorce papers from one of his hands to the other. “I guess I just wanted to thank you. And to apologize. You’ve given me everything. Perspective. A relationship with my dad and little brother. A purpose. A vision for my future. Everything. So…here.” Lifting the manila folder, he offers it to me with a regretful smile, practically shoving it at me as if he’ll lose the nerve if he doesn’t give it to me as quickly as possible. Wiping my sweaty palm on my threadbare pajamas, I take it.
He lifts his chin. “Look at it. I signed the papers.”
“I’m sure you did,” I mutter, not bothering to check.
“You believe me?” The disbelief is clear on his face, which only makes me second-guess myself.
With a sigh, I counter, “Do you want me to check?”
“No. I’m just surprised you’re taking my word for it.”
“Apparently, I haven’t learned much.”
His mouth tilts up on one side, showcasing his crooked smile and mouth-watering dimple before he steps closer. His shoes nearly touch the chipped purple polish on my toes, and the smell of his cologne tickles my nose.
“So that’s it, then?” he presses. “It’s official? The sham of a marriage we’d fooled ourselves to believe in is over?”
My throat tightens until I’m sure I’m choking as I whisper, “I guess so.”
“Can I have the ring back?”
The audacity seems to snap me out of my melancholy. Squeezing my eyes shut, I remove the ring that’s been haunting me––yet I was too much of a coward to take it off before now––then slap it into his open palm. When it’s in his grasp, he tosses it over his shoulder, the clang ringing throughout the hallway of Saylor’s apartment building.
“Good. Now that that’s over with….” Dropping down to one knee, he pulls out a simple, hand-carved mahogany box. “Skye Swenson, I love you more than anything else in the world. I’m sorry I wasn’t the man you thought I was when we first met, but I promise that I’ll spend the rest of my life becoming him. That I’ll spend every single moment on this Earth worshipping the ground you walk on and giving every piece of my soul to you. The only thing I ask in return is your heart. I know I broke it, but I promise I’ll do everything in my power to mend it together until no one will ever know it was shredded in the first place. Will you marry me? For real?”
My hand covers my mouth as he finishes his declaration and lifts the lid off the box. Tucked inside is a simple ring. One that causes tears to pool in my eyes.
“The ring,” I whisper.
Peeking up at me, he gives me a soft smile. “Yeah. The ring. The real ring. The one you wanted for your real marriage. On your real wedding day. To your real husband. The guy that I wanted to beat the shit out of when I heard the way your voice would go light and airy anytime you’d talk about him. The plans you were making. He wasn’t even real, but I was jealous as hell because I wanted to be him more than anything else in the world. Will you please let me be him? Will you trust me? Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved?”
My head bobs up and down as I choke out a single word. “Yes.”
His victorious shout rings down the hall as he jumps to his feet and wraps his arms around me. Pulling me into a hug, Liam twirls in a circle, making my legs dangle a foot above the ground. With my hands on his shoulders, I rest my forehead against his and giggle softly.
Slowly, he stops spinning then lowers me back to the ground. Once my feet are touching and I have my balance, he leans forward and presses his mouth against mine. It isn’t just a kiss. It’s every single emotion I’ve felt during the past few months since we’ve been apart, and it hits like an avalanche. Sliding his hands from my waist and up to my face, Liam cradles me like I’m one of the most precious things he’s ever held. And I feel it with every fiber of my being. Our tongues dance with each other as all my conflicting emotions rush to the surface. But the one that beats them all is how real this moment is. We aren’t kissing for a bunch of spectators like we did for our first kiss on our wedding day. We’re kissing because we want to. Because we feel so strongly about each other that we don’t have a choice but to open our souls and our hearts, praying the other person will take care of them. As a breathy moan slips past my lips, I know that Liam will. Because he’s the real deal.
When something pokes me through his jeans, I look down to inspect it.
“Is that…?”
Shoving his hand into his pocket, he pulls out a pack of Bubblicious, and I nearly topple over from laughter.
“Is that bubblegum?” I ask. Another fit of giggles escapes me.
“Are you making fun of my backup plan?” he teases, grinning from ear to ear as tears of happiness slide down my cheeks. I’m pretty sure I haven’t laughed this hard in years.
“Of course not,” I reply through bouts of laughter, even though we both know I totally am.
“A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do,” he teases.
“Didn’t have e
nough faith that the ring would work?”
“I’d hoped, but I wasn’t about to get cocky.”
“Well, it’s your lucky day. Because the bubblegum seems to be the cherry on top of the sundae.”
“Is that right?”
“Sure is.” Grabbing the neckline of his shirt, I tug him inside.
“You’re about to get laid.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Skye
“Hey.” The low rumble of Liam’s voice vibrates against my ear and makes me peel my eyes open. He spent the night. In my apartment. When I was positive we were over less than twenty-four hours ago. In fact, my foggy mind is still convinced I’m in a dream.
“Yeah?” I croak, covering my mouth with the sheet to protect him from a bad case of morning breath.
Grinning, he tugs it away and plants a quick peck to my lips, easing any anxiety that it bothers him. “I want to ask you something.”
“And what’s that?”
“I know how much you love Brody, and I know how much it killed you to not be with him for the past few months. My dad told me that he offered the job to you when he visited a few days ago. Have you already said yes?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I admit while weighing the pros and cons. “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, though. I miss Brody like crazy, but I also understand that things won’t ever be the same between us. Especially with how we ended things and now that he’s technically my brother-in-law.” My face scrunches up in amusement as I voice the title out loud. “Plus, I was kind of keeping tabs on him through his teacher. She said that your stepmom has had to step into the mom role, and even though it’s been driving her nuts, it’s been really great for their relationship. I think a small part of me was standing in the way when I was his nanny. I’m afraid that I might’ve been preventing their relationship from growing into something more.”
Liam listens to my reasoning with a resigned expression before murmuring, “That’s good to know, but you’re still undecided?”
“I guess?” Reading him like a book, I tease, “Spit it out. What are you trying to say, Liam?”
He laughs before turning almost…shy? His cheeks redden, and his attention shoots up to the ceiling instead of looking me straight in the eye, and I find it kind of adorable. So adorable, in fact, that I have to bite my tongue to keep from pointing out said adorableness to him. Heaven forbid that he figures out I’m a sucker for it.
Finally, after what I’m sure was a mental pep talk on his part, he says, “I’m going to suggest something, and if you don’t want to do it, then I totally understand, and we’ll figure it out. I just…I want you with me.”
“With you, how? Liam, I already said yes.” I laugh, unable to hide my amusement from the babbling man beside me as we lay in my bed.
He sighs and licks his lips. “No. I…I want you to experience helping the less fortunate with me. I know it sounds dumb, but now that I’ve had a taste of being more than a leech on society, I want to share it with you. I don’t want to give up helping others that are so less fortunate than me.” He runs his fingers along the side of my face, brushing my hair away from my forehead as my teasing grin turns into a soft smile. Hell, I feel like I’m bursting at the seams with love for this man. He stares deeply into my eyes, then clarifies, “Less fortunate than us.”
“Liam, I would never ask you to give that up. I can see how much you’ve loved it. And honestly, it kind of blows my mind.” My mouth quirks up a little higher.
Flashing a smile in response, his dimple etching a little deeper into his cheek, he replies, “Are you teasing me?”
“Maybe a little. But can you blame me for reeling every time you talk about helping others with a sense of awe instead of annoyance? I mean, let’s be honest,” I joke. “This is a whole new side of you, and I don’t know how to handle it.”
Liam gives me a solid glare with a hint of mirth before his hands dig into my ribs. In the blink of an eye, I’m a squirming mess in the sheets, laughing and screaming for him to stop tickling me.
“This is a new side of me, and I blame you for bringing it to the surface, Nanny. See what you did? You ruined me!”
His fingers stop their assault long enough for me to catch my breath, though the giggles still pepper themselves throughout my journey. Peeking up at him, I see the sincerity in his gaze and drag him down for a soft kiss. “You ruined me too, Liam. You and your adorableness. I love you. I love the sweet side. I love the asshole side. I love the whole deal.”
“Even the asshole side?”
“In small doses,” I jest with a grin.
His deep laughter makes my heart swell as he presses a quick kiss to my nose before pulling away and admitting, “I love you too, Skye. Even your snarky side. And your adorableness side––”
“You’re using it wrong,” I cut him off.
“It’s not a word, so I can use it however I like,” he quips, planting another kiss to my nose. “But what do you say? I know that we’re getting married, and that we have a plan now, and that we have a home base here. But I want us to travel too. That’s still a big part of me, and I don’t want to give that up. I will if you want me to,” he clarifies. “But I’d love it even more if you’d do it with me.”
A small part of me wants to play hard to get, but what kind of idiot would turn down adventures with the sexy man in front of me?
Unable to contain my excitement, I almost squeal, “Uh, duh! I’d love to. What do you have in mind?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs while running his fingers through my hair as I lay on my back and look up at him. “There are a lot of programs I’ve been researching, but it looks like they have opportunities to help all the time. And as long as you have cash at your fingertips, it isn’t too hard to get in and get helping, ya know? I should warn you, though. The last time I went, I was hands down the oldest guy there. By like…ten years.”
I wave him off. “Good. We can play Mom and Pops to all the teens who are there to party instead of––”
“Actually benefiting society?” he finishes for me, quirking his brow.
“You say that as if you know from personal experience,” I wink while soaking up the banter that’d been missing from my life for far too long.
Leaning closer, he gives me another quick kiss before nipping at my lower lip. “Careful, smart ass. I’ve learned my lesson. No need to rub my nose in it.”
“You know I’m teasing. When’s the next opportunity?”
“Well,” he hedges, showcasing his adorableness all over again. “Haiti’s in three months.”
“Haiti?”
“Yeah.”
“In three months?”
That’s fast.
“Yeah,” he reiterates.
“I’ve never been to Haiti.”
“I haven’t, either. But honestly, I think it could be an awesome experience.”
If he’s there, then I have no doubt it will be.
With a deep breath, I weigh my options for about two seconds before saying, “Okay, so…three months. What does that mean? Do we put the wedding on hold until afterward?”
A soft pink touches his cheeks and makes him look like his little brother as he mumbles, “Well…I may have booked the church before then.”
“The church?” I question. “What church?”
“The church. The one you’re in love with. The one you passed up when we first got married because it was your dream location. You could see the entire wedding play out, remember? With the perfect husband. And the perfect dress. That church. And since you said yes, I’d like to think that I was the star in that dream wedding and that I didn’t completely screw everything up by booking it before actually asking you if you’d marry me.”
“You booked the church we visited when we were looking for venues? You remembered how much it mattered to me? Is that what you’re saying?” My voice almost breaks when I recognize, again, how damn thoughtful my fiancé is.
With a n
od, a soft smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I’m saying that I want to give you the world, and that includes getting married in your church, so I went out on a limb and booked it. I want you to get married with your dress. With your family and your friends. I want to give you the real wedding you wanted. And then, after that, because I’m pretty sure I couldn’t top Italy—”
“There’s no way you could top Italy,” I cut him off with a grin. “But go on.”
He laughs. “That’s what I thought you’d say, so I wasn’t going to even try to top our original honeymoon. I was thinking Haiti might be fun, instead. We can go serve others. Spread our happiness to those who need it most.”
My heart pounds against my chest as I look into the eyes of a man who is so freaking thoughtful, yet he has no freaking clue. Licking my lips, I press my hand against his stubbled cheek and admit, “I kind of love that idea. What kind of serving are we talking about, though? You’ve mentioned a ton of things.”
“For this particular adventure, we’ll get to build a few schools for little girls and little boys just like Brody.”
“That sounds absolutely perfect.” My heart is so full of love for the man beside me that my eyes well with tears.
“For real?”
“Yes. For real. Well…as long as Brody approves.”
“You’re asking for a six-year-old’s opinion?” Liam quips though he doesn’t look all that surprised. I mean, it’s me we’re talking about.
“Hell, yes, I am. And don’t even act like you’re the one who thought of the bubblegum trick, Mr. High and Mighty. Brody’s a genius, remember?”
Throwing his head back, he laughs at my observation before finally agreeing with my completely sound logic.
“Touché.”
“So let me get this straight. You’re getting divorced,” Saylor prods, her eyebrows pinched as she interrogates me for the hundredth time since I spilled the beans this morning. Liam snuck out before Saylor woke up.
Which leaves me here. At the kitchen table. With my sister, who’s more like a drill sergeant.