by Rona Halsall
After completing her business studies degree, Sara had only worked for two years before she fell pregnant with the twins. She’d been a junior in a hectic office, and her job had consisted of endless filing, running errands and making tea. She’d been bored to tears. Now, she found she loved the work at the community centre, being part of something that was at the heart of the town, making sure everyone’s needs were catered for and sorting out problems as they arose. It was surprisingly satisfying work and she’d started to make new friends in the process.
The job felt like a second skin, a perfect fit, and the prospect of being in charge, if James was going to take over the family business full-time, brought a glow to her heart. A proper salaried job after all these years. She had so many ideas for raising funds, using the space more effectively and reaching out to new groups, she was excited to go to work. Fiona had been impressed with her suggestions and had even mentioned that she might like to consider an Open University degree in community development, which had really got Sara thinking about her future.
The focus of her dreams had changed, and she’d decided she’d like to do a course that was more about people and less about making money. Also, if she studied with the Open University, it would be more affordable and less intense; a better fit with family life. She’d checked the cost and it wasn’t too expensive. With the interest on her investment accumulating, she’d thought she’d have enough to cover the first instalment and had quietly started planning a January start. Now, though, with their household finances tipped into the danger zone, she would have to shelve the dreams and concentrate on the fight for survival.
She hurried to the car, still thoroughly annoyed with herself. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I just leave the damned money in the deposit account? She got in and slammed the door, started the engine. The truth was, she’d never been good at doing what she was told; ‘naturally contrary’, Hailey had always called her. At least living with Matt had tempered that impulse, made her a bit more sensible. Until this. She chewed at her bottom lip as she drove, thinking through the things she wanted to say at the meeting. Her sales pitch.
She arrived to find the centre unlocked, which was unusual as she was always first to arrive, opening the place up being part of her job. She went into the kitchen to put on the water heater for drinks, but it had already been done and was up to full steam. Whoever had got there first had been there a little while. She did a quick tour round and found Fiona and James in a meeting room on the upper floor. They were sitting at the far end of the long rectangular table, deep in conversation. Fiona was in full flow, animated, James frowning as he listened.
James was a bit older than Sara. Probably mid forties, his hair already silver, contrasting nicely with his tanned skin. He was a tidy man, always well turned out in chinos and a shirt, nothing too casual, his hair kept short and combed back from his long face, his beard neatly trimmed. The most remarkable thing about him was his voice, a deep bass that seemed to make the air vibrate, and would be perfect for doing voice-overs for movie trailers.
She stopped outside the door, reluctant to disturb them, watching for a moment through the glass panel. Are they talking about me? she wondered, desperate to know what was being said but unable to hear anything through the thick fire door. As she studied their faces, trying to work out what was going on, Fiona glanced at the door and her expression froze. She put a hand on James’s arm just as he’d started talking and he turned and looked at the door too.
I hope they don’t think I was eavesdropping.
She pushed open the door and went in, cheeks burning. ‘You two are early,’ she said, forcing a cheeriness into her voice, while her stomach churned, her nerves starting to get the better of her. She needed this to work out, needed them to trust her to take on more responsibility. ‘Can I get you a drink?’
Fiona flashed her a quick smile. ‘That would be lovely. Coffee for me. And you, James?’
He nodded, his face pinched and Sara had the feeling he was annoyed. She grabbed their mugs and headed back to the kitchen, willing the universe to come to her aid and give her a break. She’d just finished reading a book by Deepak Chopra about sending out positive vibes if you wanted positive things to happen, and although she couldn’t wholeheartedly commit to his philosophy, or understand the quantum physics of his explanation, she felt she had to give everything a try. She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, told herself not to second-guess other people’s conversations, and by the time she returned to the meeting room, her resolve had returned.
Fiona and James were sitting next to each other now, the paperwork cleared into a neat pile, and Fiona motioned for Sara to sit on the opposite side of the table. She carefully put the mugs down, and smoothed her skirt before settling in her seat, feeling like she was at an interview. This was so much more formal than she’d anticipated, and she could feel damp patches appearing under her arms.
‘Now, Sara,’ Fiona began. ‘We’ve been having a look through the finances, something we should have done weeks ago, if I’m honest.’ She gave James a sideways glance and he scowled. It was a dig at him, a suggestion he wasn’t on top of things. Maybe that was what they were talking about? Not me at all. Sara tried to make herself look more relaxed, forcing her shoulders back and unclasping her hands. ‘And we’ve had a chat about James’s situation, which he assures me will be clarified in the next couple of months.’
James’s jaw hardened and he folded his arms across his chest, angling his body away from Fiona. ‘It’s not easy getting my father to accept this change in his health. Have a heart, will you? I can’t push him to step down. It’s going to take a doctor’s advice to make him finally bow out. In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to juggle the two jobs.’
Fiona put a hand on his shoulder. ‘I’m not having a go, James. Honestly I’m not. But we do need to make sure we’re not letting important tasks slip. And it’s my responsibility as chair of the board to oversee the staffing. So I would like to suggest that we change the contracts of employment to make you both part-time. A job share, if you like.’ She winked at Sara, who felt the warmth of relief flow through her body. ‘Realistically, James, you are going to need to take a more active role in your family’s business. That time commitment isn’t going to diminish, is it?’
James pursed his lips, his frown deepening. ‘I think Sara needs a bit more experience before we can consider a job share.’ He flashed Fiona a tight smile. ‘Can I suggest an alternative?’
Sara wondered when anyone was going to ask her opinion, but without an invitation to speak, she could only observe the back-and-forth of the conversation. Fiona was in charge and knew what Sara needed. If there was a way to engineer a positive outcome, she would persist until she achieved it, of that Sara was certain. She’d seen her in action at a couple of board meetings and she was quite awesome when she got going. A definite role model.
Fiona cocked her head. ‘Fire away.’
‘I agree we should give Sara more hours and I’m pleased with the way she’s learning the job. But she does still need supervision for a while longer. A job share suggests equality, doesn’t it? And I don’t think she’s ready.’
Sara glanced at Fiona, who raised an eyebrow.
‘Maybe you could elaborate? Because from what I’ve seen, she’s more than capable of taking on a management role. Not only that, but she’s come to me with so many great ideas that I’d like us to consider. I think her fresh thinking is exactly what we need.’
‘I’m not trying to push you out, James.’ Sara’s words burst out in a hurry. ‘Please don’t think that. But I believe I’ve got lots to offer. And it doesn’t need to be formalised. I’d just like to help more while you’ve got family issues to sort out.’ She smiled at him. ‘It can be temporary, if that would make you feel better.’
Fiona’s mouth twitched and Sara wondered if she’d done the right thing, speaking up. But James rewarded her with a warm smile. ‘If we’re talking
about temporary – to get us over this glitch and pick up the strands of work I’ve not been able to pursue as effectively as I’d like – then I’m happy for you to do more hours.’ He turned to Fiona. ‘We’ve established that our income stream is strong for the next two months, so if we transfer the hours I’m not doing to Sara, then we can make sure the wages bill is kept within budget.’
Fiona glanced at them both. ‘To be honest, I’d be happy to sanction a temporary increase in the budget if it means we can bring everything up to date. I’ve spoken to the treasurer this morning and he agreed with this as a suggested way forward. So if you’re both happy, I suggest Sara has full-time hours on a temporary contract for the next month, and James, you carry on with the two days a week you’re doing now. Then we’ll review at the next board meeting.’
Sara beamed. James pursed his lips, then nodded.
‘Excellent.’ Fiona gathered her papers together. ‘Sara, can you write that up for me, please? Then I’ll circulate it to the rest of the board, just to keep them up to speed.’
James got up, the meeting over. ‘I’ll be in on Friday, Sara. We can sort out a list of things you still need training up on, okay? By then, I’ll know which days I’ll be in each week, and we can try and get things into more of a routine instead of me flitting in and out when I have a moment.’ He ran a hand through his hair, gave her a tired smile. ‘I’m sure it’ll be better for all of us, won’t it?’ There was something in his voice that made Sara think he wasn’t as happy with the arrangement as she was, and he hurried out of the room before she could respond.
Generally, she got on well with James, and he’d been more than patient when he was showing her how to work the accounting software and the booking system for the rooms. But he was a hard act to follow, as he was one of those people who appeared to know everyone – their families, their backgrounds – and made them all feel so welcome, while Sara still forgot people’s names and wasn’t close to being the consummate host that he was. He’s right, she thought as she stood to collect the empty mugs. I’m not quite ready to run the place. But she was more determined than ever to learn and improve. In fact, she saw it as a challenge, something to work towards. I’ll show him.
Fiona’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘That went well, didn’t it?’ She grinned as she packed a pile of paperwork into her bag.
Sara grimaced. ‘I’m not sure James was so happy.’
Fiona laughed. ‘Oh, that’s nothing to do with you. Well, not directly. I had to give him a bit of a bollocking, you see, for not keeping everything up to date. That’s why I made sure I got him in early, prepared the ground for making changes, so it would be easier to get him to agree to you having extra hours.’
The tension in Sara’s shoulders relaxed a little when she understood that his mood was not her fault. She followed Fiona downstairs, glad that at least she had some good news for Matt and there would be some extra money coming into the house. It’s not enough. Nowhere near enough, said a little voice in her head and a chill trickled down her spine when she thought of what might lie ahead.
Chapter Seven
Fiona had asked Sara to work the full day, instead of just the morning, as there were papers that needed preparing for a meeting. It seemed her full-time hours had started with immediate effect and she’d felt she couldn’t say no. She got home to find that Matt had tidied up, done some shopping and had a pasta bake in the oven. Ezra was asleep on the settee, and Sara bit back a comment about keeping him awake because it would be a hell of a struggle to get him to sleep later. It was going to take a bit of time to adjust, she counselled herself, and Matt wasn’t great at taking criticism. Too tired and anxious to be able to dance around any aggravation, she let it drop and wandered into the kitchen.
‘Smells delicious,’ she said, wondering what sort of mood he was in. He’d been silent and thoughtful before she’d left that morning, and snappy when she’d phoned to ask him to pick Ezra up from nursery because she was working the afternoon. But now he turned towards her with a big grin on his face. He opened his arms for a hug and held her tight, his cheek resting on top of her head as she relished the familiar warmth of him.
‘Sorry I was a bit grumpy,’ he murmured into her hair. ‘Losing my job was such a shock, and I’m still worried about how we’ll manage. But I spoke to the mortgage people and they’ve agreed we can have a repayment holiday for three months.’
Sara pulled away, looked into his smiling eyes. When did he last look at me like this? So long she couldn’t remember. Maybe the problems at work had been going on for longer than she’d thought.
‘That’s great news,’ she said, wanting to savour the loving mood, wondering if this was the silver lining to their crisis. Maybe it would bring them close again. She leant back against the worktop and caught hold of his hand, lacing her finger with his. ‘I’ve got good news as well. They’ve said I can have full-time hours at the community centre for a month. We need to catch up on everything that’s fallen behind with James being off.’
The smile fell from Matt’s face, replaced by a look of horror. He dropped her hand, took a step away from her. ‘But who’s going to look after Ezra? Childcare is way too expensive. Even the mornings he does now at the nursery cost a packet. It won’t be worth it.’ He shook his head. ‘No, I’m sorry, love, that’s not going to work.’
Sara tensed, annoyed that he was slapping down her efforts to help, to take a lead role for a change. And she’d been looking forward to being out at work a bit more, getting stuck in to some of the meatier projects they were developing at the community centre, instead of her head being filled with nursery rhymes and SpongeBob bloody SquarePants. She wasn’t ready to give that up. ‘You’re at home, though. You can pick him up from nursery, can’t you? Realistically, it could take a couple of months before you get another job.’
She went to the sink, ran herself a glass of water and gulped it down, just for something to do, to make her pause and consider her words, take the edge off her annoyance. It was all organised now and she’d feel stupid going back to Fiona and saying she couldn’t do the extra hours after all. Not when Fiona had bent over backwards to help her.
‘Actually, no, I can’t,’ he said, as if she was being awkward. She turned to look at him, the empty glass clasped tightly in her hand. He was animated, his eyes lit with excitement. ‘I’ve got a plan. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while, and I’ve been doing some research and I’m pretty convinced I can give it a real go.’
She scrunched up her nose, thoroughly confused. ‘I’m not sure I know what you mean.’ She scanned his face for clues but could only see the delight shining in his eyes. ‘You’ve been headhunted? Is that it?’ Relief bubbled inside her. A seamless transition from one job to another would be the ideal solution. Maybe she could work flexitime at the community centre, do a few hours in the evenings if she had to be home at lunchtime to pick up Ezra. Her mind sped along, reshaping her life around this new scenario.
‘No, that’s not it.’ His delight morphed into frustration, his hand slapping the worktop. ‘Christ, Sara, why do you always have to jump in and second-guess what I’m about to say? Just let me speak, will you?’
She shrank back against the sink, hurt by the sharpness of his words. He could be so snappy these days, when all she was doing was trying to keep everything nice and smooth, no upsets to spook the kids.
He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder, apology in his eyes. ‘Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to have a go, it’s just that sometimes you…’ He shrugged, and his hand fell away. ‘Anyway, what I was trying to say is I’ve got a business idea. I want to set up as an IT consultant and… you’re not going to believe this, but I already have my first customer. They heard I’d been laid off.’ He laughed. ‘News travels fast and it’s such a small world, isn’t it? You know, the way this opportunity has landed at my feet, it just makes me think it’s the right thing to do. It’s a really specialised project, not many people aroun
d with the skills to do the work, and it’s perfect to get me started.’ Her eyes widened in surprise, her mind scrambling to keep up with this sudden turn into unexpected territory. He nodded, a wide grin on his face. ‘Big bucks, love. We’re talking proper money once I’m up and running.’
‘Wow. But you never said anything. How come you didn’t…’ She stopped, the narrowing of his eyes a warning that her response wasn’t the one he wanted, and having witnessed his devastation the previous day, she didn’t want to break his upbeat mood. She smiled instead, genuinely delighted that he’d found a new direction. ‘Your own business, eh?’ She reached for his hand again, desperately trying to smooth things over. ‘And big bucks, you say? Tell me more.’
His hand squeezed hers. ‘There’s a bit of a risk with it – a puzzle to solve – but I’m pretty sure I can do it. It’s exactly the sort of challenge I’ve been wanting.’ He looked so happy, so full of excitement, like a little boy who’d been given the toy he’d been hankering after but hadn’t been able to afford. ‘And if this contract works out, then who knows where it’ll take me? I just need to get set up with the right bits of kits and I’ll be off.’
Sara tried to take in what he was saying; the idea of him setting up his own business so unexpected, the implications hadn’t really registered. His excitement was infectious, though, and a glimmer of hope ignited in her heart. Surely they could manage for a couple of months until the money came in. A conversation with the bank, maybe a temporary extension to their overdraft… Her administrative mind carried on working through the list, identifying what they’d have to do to make ends meet, and at the end of it, she allowed herself to consider the possibility that, actually, they were going to be okay.
Matt was still talking, bursting with enthusiasm for his new project. ‘It’s our future, love. I’ve wanted to be my own boss for ages. After I’d got over the shock of being laid off, and I got this email enquiry, I realised this is my opportunity to follow my dreams. Just get on and do it.’