She picked up the Englisch magazine next to her and scanned the cover. Some man she’d never heard of was getting married to the mother of his love child. Whatever that was. Why did anyone even care? She returned that and picked up the next one. Someone else shared foolproof tricks on how to snare the man of your dreams.
Tricks and snare?
She could imagine Daed shaking his head in dismay and muttering something about what the world was coming to.
Still, she opened the cover, found the page number, and then glanced up to make sure Mamm and Daed weren’t coming.
The article talked about use of makeup, deep V-neck shirts, and high slits on the sides of dresses. Peekaboo shoulders. Whatever. Make him think of sex.
There was more to love and marriage than sex.
But then again, it hadn’t mentioned love or marriage. Just snaring and sex.
She turned the page. Tricks to perform better in bed.
Grace’s face burned as she closed the magazine and put it back. Nothing useful there. Instead, her mind felt soiled.
Underneath that was some kind of geographic magazine.
She opened that to a photo of a big-busted woman with no clothes on her top half. She carried a basket full of some sort of fruit on top of her head.
Grace shuddered. Maybe Daed’s opinion was right. What was the world coming to?
She dropped that magazine on top of the other discards and folded her hands on her lap. A sober-faced woman in purple scrubs admitted Mamm and Daed through a door off to the side.
The door shut behind them.
Nothing to read…except maybe a Gideon Bible. The TV in the corner was off. She was left alone with nothing to do except the one thing she desperately needed time alone to do. So no time like the present…
Grace bowed her head and started to pray.
Gott, please spare Jon’s life.
And help me sort out my own.
She didn’t know how long she prayed that same prayer over and over before another woman in yellow scrubs appeared. “Grace Lantz?”
She attempted to speak, but her voice cracked. Broke.
The woman’s gaze held compassion. “Follow me. I’ll take you to your family.”
Grace’s nose ran. She reached for a tissue, then realized her face was wet, so she grabbed another tissue.
“My brother. Is he…?” Her words were raw.
“I don’t know. The doctor was going to meet with your parents and your brother’s wife.”
Wife? Jon and Aubrey weren’t married yet. But she might’ve lied so she’d be allowed to stay by his side. Grace couldn’t blame her.
Grace grabbed Mamm’s abandoned knitting bag and followed the woman down a confusing maze to another waiting room. This one was much smaller, and she was all alone.
“Your family must be with the doctor. They’ll be back soon. Help yourself to coffee.” She pointed to a coffee maker on a small stand. Disposable cups were stacked beside it, and a basket full of stirrers, sugar, and powered creamer was next to that.
The woman was gone before Grace turned to thank her. But Grace didn’t want coffee. Even on her best days she detested the foul-tasting stuff, as she was reminded this morning.
And today was painfully obvious that it wasn’t anywhere close to being her best day.
She settled down next to another stack of magazines and picked up the top one. A cooking magazine. That one she could read.
By the time she’d finished the entire magazine and come up with a few new ideas, daylight had faded outside the windows. And still she waited…
Her brothers, Daadi Cliff, and Zeke filed in. They hadn’t bothered to clean up.
Zeke! He hadn’t left yet. She might’ve beamed. She lifted her hand in a tiny wave.
“Any word?” Daadi Cliff asked.
“Nothing. I haven’t even seen Mamm or Daed since we arrived.”
Daadi Cliff frowned and left the room.
Zeke crossed the room and sat beside her. “Are you okay?”
She reached for his hand and clung, unable to answer. Pity kiss or not, she craved his strength.
Chapter 20
Zeke eyed the eleven brothers, but none of them seemed too concerned about him sitting next to Gracie or even that they were holding hands. It seemed odd. But they probably all realized he and Gracie had an immediate connection. The brothers had all plopped into other chairs or made a beeline for the coffee station.
Gracie grimaced. “I’m worried sick. But Jon must still be alive, and Mamm and Daed are somewhere. They surely would’ve remembered I came with them if they started to leave. And I still have Mamm’s knitting that she never leaves behind. I’m surprised she made it this long without returning for it.”
“Hmm.” Zeke made the noise to communicate he was listening, because he didn’t know what to say. That seemed the story of his life. A brainless idiot around Gracie. No. He gave a slight shake of his head. He was finished with negativity, as Cliff encouraged him a few hours ago. Think positive. Zeke may not be a former straight-A student like Vernon, but he seemed to fit in better with the Lantz family and the community. Vernon didn’t appear to possess many skills that equipped him to interact with strangers. He was more of a loner. And Seth apparently recognized that, sending Vernon off alone, while keeping Zeke around people. Around the family.
Nobody had said as much, though.
Vernon had been left to see to the cows and the horse and put away the tools while Zeke had been willingly dragged along with the family to the hospital, even though he’d dreaded Grace’s reaction to seeing him again. Dreaded the temptation…and yet, seeing her sitting there alone in the room had erased all of his promises to himself to keep his distance. And her grip on his hand…
He eased his hand out of Gracie’s grasp long enough to entwine their fingers. “Tell me about Jon.”
Her wide-eyed glance and raised brows clearly communicated confusion.
“I know he’s the youngest brother of twelve, that he’s engaged to be married, and that he seems as pun loving as your daadi Cliff. I know I like him. But what does he do?”
Gracie’s brow furrowed. “Well, up until yesterday he worked as a blacksmith and a farrier out of our barn. It originally had this one side that was open on both ends like a walkway. Handy for customers and plenty of ventilation for the forge.”
So Jon lost his business in the storm. Zeke would’ve been struggling if he’d lost as much as Jon, and yet the man had a positive attitude. Or was it faith that Gott would somehow see things through? Zeke could learn a lot from the man.
“He’s only a couple of years older than me. He’s the one who looked out for me, the one who taught me how to drive—”
“And that’s scary. Have you seen how she drives?” One of the other brothers—Zeke didn’t know his name or which number he was—winked at Gracie.
“You hush. You’ve wrecked more buggies than I have.” Gracie narrowed her eyes at him.
Another brother chortled. “She told you, Joseph.”
Joseph appeared to be close in age to Jon. His beard looked short and bristly and new, as if he was recently married.
Seth must’ve had a busy fall with at least two sons getting married, plus Gracie’s wedding-that-didn’t-happen. Yet.
And here he was, holding hands with the bride-to-be-that-wasn’t-his.
And never would be.
Comfort. She needed his comfort. And his shoulders were wide enough to carry her burdens. Just as he was going to have to trust Gott to carry his.
While the others talked and teased around him, Zeke shifted on the uncomfortable chair. It was padded, but the padding was in the wrong spot to conform to his build. The room stank of burnt coffee and lemon-scented bleach. A bad combination.
He glanced down at her not exactly small, but smaller-than-his, hand. Her skin was rough and calloused, the sign of a hard worker. Would Mamm like her? Would his sister, Elizabeth? If Timothy was permanently out of the pictu
re, would Gracie consider coming to Indiana to meet his family?
Moving to Indiana to merge into his life? Would he consider moving here?
“Is the barn finished?” Gracie asked. “Because when Jon and Aubrey marry…” She choked to a stop.
Joseph nodded. “All except for Jon’s shop and the finishing work on the inside. But that’s all stuff that can be done whenever.”
A deep, dark silence followed Joseph’s words. Would Jon even have need of his shop? It seemed as if Zeke wasn’t the only one who wondered.
Cliff bustled back into the room. He stopped just inside the doorway where he would have a good view of everyone. “Okay. They took Jon back to an operating room to do immediate surgery on a bad break on his right shoulder. He has some broken ribs but miraculously hadn’t broken anything else. He hasn’t woken up yet, but they say he has brain activity. They’re obviously admitting him to the hospital and say that rest is the best thing for him, and the coma is ‘nature’s’ way of protecting him.” Cliff huffed. “I say it’s Gott’s, and it’s a plumb miracle the boy survived the fall.”
Zeke agreed.
Gracie sniffled.
About a half an hour later, Reuben stood. “I’m going to head home. I’ll take care of Daed’s livestock if Vernon didn’t. My wife took Patience home with her and our fourteen-year-old daughter, Becky.” He glanced at Zeke as he said this.
As if Reuben was accepting Zeke and willing to let him in on the family dynamics.
“Patience can spend as much time as needed with us. Do you want to come home with those of us leaving now?” Reuben’s gaze slid to Gracie.
She caught her breath in a sob and shook her head. “I’ll go home later.”
“Home.” Reuben’s eyes bored into Zeke’s with a clear warning. Maybe brother number one wasn’t as accepting as he’d thought. But the man had good reason, especially if Seth had told them that Gracie had kissed Zeke and he’d given into temptation and kissed her back.
He wanted to assure the eleven brothers that he could be trusted. He’d promised it wouldn’t happen again, after all.
Although, when would Seth have had the time to tell them that?
But the brother simply shifted his gaze down to their still-interlocked fingers and let that stand as enough incriminating evidence.
“It was a pity kiss. I don’t need his pity or those kinds of kisses. So you have nothing to worry about.” Gracie glared at her brothers. The brothers all looked around. Confused. Because how would they have known about the kiss?
“What are you talking about, Gracie?” a brother asked.
Her faced flamed red. “Never mind.”
It was nice that she was thinking about their kiss, too. But what did she call it? A pity kiss? Zeke shook his head. “A what?” The question burst from him. “A pity kiss?”
Someone chuckled. Zeke didn’t notice who. He was too busy staring at Grace with his mouth hanging open in shock.
Cliff sighed. “Your grossmammi and I will spend the nacht to chaperone Zeke, Vernon, and Gracie, especially since Seth and Barbie will be staying here with Jon and Aubrey.”
All well and good, but…“What is a pity kiss?”
* * *
Grace’s face warmed. She released her hand from Zeke’s and popped out of the chair, needing to distance herself from her brothers’ knowing stares. From Zeke’s confusion. Why was he confused anyway? He was the one who said he felt sorry for her. “I need to use the facilities.” Her stomach chose that moment to remind her she hadn’t eaten since supper the nacht before and rumbled loudly. “And find food. I’ll return if I don’t get hopelessly lost in this maze of a hospital.”
“I’ll go with you.” Zeke stood. “To make sure you don’t get lost.”
“And to learn the definition of a pity kiss,” her brother Dan said, with an elbow jab at Aaron.
Zeke quirked his eyebrows. “That, too.”
There was a short-lived chorus of chuckles.
Grace dipped her head to try to hide her embarrassment. “I’m sure someone will give me directions. I don’t need a babysitter.” She headed toward the door.
“I’m coming.” Zeke followed her. “Because obviously we need to talk.”
Grace sighed and stopped at the door. “Someone keep an eye on Mamm’s knitting bag.” Oh, she’d forgotten to grab her purse when she left home. She didn’t want to beg from her brothers, so her stomach would have to go without. “I won’t be gone long.”
She headed down the hallway toward the bathrooms, which, thankfully, were well marked. “See? I’ll be fine.” She pointed to the signs. “I won’t get lost.”
“What about food?” Zeke stubbornly insisted on following.
“I changed my mind.” Her stomach rumbled a very vocal complaint, and she hurried into the bathroom.
She emerged a few minutes later to find Zeke leaning against the wall outside the door. He straightened. “I’ll buy your meal.”
“Because you pity me?”
He frowned. “No. Because you forgot your purse. Because I’m hungry, too. Because we need to talk.”
She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. But she needed to apologize to him again, so she sighed and then followed him to the elevator.
He pushed the button and the door opened. A couple emerged, then Zeke got on. She followed and stood on the opposite side of him.
Zeke stood there a moment surveying the buttons, then glanced at her. He hesitated a long minute, his gaze holding hers; then he inhaled, looked at the panel again, and pushed a button.
His mouth worked a minute; then he shook his head, pressed his lips together, and leaned against the wall.
“You said you felt sorry for me.” She stared at her shoes.
Silence for a beat. Two. Three. “I do.”
And she lost her appetite. Or rather, her stomach churned again like earlier after the coffee. Her already broken heart stabbed again with fresh pain.
The elevator rumbled to a stop, and the doors slid open.
She walked out.
He followed.
“See? It was a pity kiss. You kissed me because you thought I was pathetic.” Why couldn’t she let this go? Why did she insist on humiliating herself?
His brow furrowed. “No. It means I feel awful about all the bad things that happened in your life recently. Not that I think you’re pathetic.” He glanced at her. “And that certainly is not why I kissed you.”
“But—”
“Besides, you kissed me first. Should I believe that you think I’m pathetic?”
“No! I wanted to kiss you but didn’t actually intend to. I wanted to say danki for all the nice things you’ve done. For listening to me.”
His mouth quirked, but he didn’t answer. Instead, he opened the door to the cafeteria and motioned her in.
She looked at the hot case full of fried chicken and mashed potatoes and groaned in frustration. She reached for a blueberry muffin and a slice of pie and set them on the tray he placed in front of her.
Zeke glanced at her choices, added three sandwiches and another slice of pie to the tray, and then carried it to the drink dispenser. “What do you want to drink?”
She took the cup he handed her, added ice and cola. “Danki for buying my meal.”
“You’re welcome.” His look was gentle. He paid, then led the way to a table for two in the corner.
“So why did you kiss me? And apologize?” Ugh. She was pathetic.
He set the tray on the table and pulled out a chair for her. “Why do we need to rehash it?”
She lowered herself into the chair and shrugged. “Just curious.”
He pushed it in, took his seat, and divided the food, giving her one of the sandwiches. He opened one and took a bite.
“Tell me about your girlfriend back home.” Jah, she was fishing.
He swallowed. Frowned. “I don’t have a girlfriend. The girl I used to court will marry Vernon in a couple of weeks.”
“Oh, how awful. That must be so hard for you.” But she was ever so glad he was available.
“I shouldn’t have said that. It’s okay. I’m over her.” He shrugged. “Besides, I never felt for her what…” He shook his head.
Her heart sagged. “You met someone new, then?”
He sucked in a breath. “Jah. You.”
“Me?!” She wanted to bounce out of the chair, around the table, and into his arms.
He held up a hand. “But the missionaries and others warned that I’m not allowed to date or court while I’m here. You are engaged, and you have twelve brothers who would have my hide if I hurt you. Not to mention I live in Indiana and you live here. And despite evidence to the contrary, two days really aren’t enough time to fall in love.”
Yet she had. And apparently, he had. And this last part made her heart giddy.
But what he mentioned seemed to be insurmountable obstacles. Besides, she promised Mamm she’d marry Timothy when he was found. Her heart ached.
“And that is why I shouldn’t have kissed you. It’s also why it won’t happen again.” Despite his words, his gaze drifted to her lips.
They tingled in response.
There had to be some way around this.
* * *
There wasn’t any way around it.
Facts were facts.
Zeke hadn’t planned to say anything to her about it, because what was the point of her knowing? But he wouldn’t lie to her, or let her believe a lie. That would only hurt her. Something he’d done anyway with admitting the truth. He saw the hope, the joy, then the despair in her eyes, followed by something he didn’t recognize. Determination, probably. Gracie was stubborn and determined.
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” she said.
He didn’t see a way, but okay. If she said so. He nodded and took another bite of one of his sandwiches.
“Danki for getting me a sandwich.” She unwrapped it and peeked inside. “Tuna salad. One of my favorites.” She took a bite. It was good. The second bite was just as good.
“You’re welcome. I figured you were hungrier than a blueberry muffin.”
“Mm-hmm.” She quickly finished her sandwich and unwrapped the blueberry muffin. “Maybe, but I got chocolate cream pie, and that would make up for a major lack of food.”
The Amish Wedding Promise Page 18