by J D Abbas
“This can’t be.” She wept as she rocked back and forth. “No, I know you were full of light. I felt it. This is illusion. This is a lie.”
Then, it struck her. “I’m dreaming.” Elena laid the bundle down. She reached for the medallion, which was no longer there. As her mind raced to piece together an answer, she felt a sharp kick in her abdomen. “Oh,” Elena gasped and laid her hands on her belly. There was movement within. “Oh, little one, you’re still there!”
Elena’s hands burst with light and the emeralds on her wrists reappeared, pulsating with an eerie green glow. Her eye caught the same rhythmic light coming from her chest. She felt for that lump and the one on her forehead.
“Okay, I am dreaming. Now what?” she said aloud.
She moved to the mouth of the cave and listened, waiting for some sort of direction, guidance. Far in the distance, she heard her name. It sounded like Yaelmargon. She walked toward the voice. Then she heard Elbrion calling to her.
“I’m coming, Ada,” she called. “Keep talking, so I can follow your voice.”
Elena stumbled her way down the hill, through the forest, and back toward their cottage. She met no resistance along the way. When she reached the back door to their home, she listened carefully. Hearing nothing, she eased the door open and stuck her head in. There was no one in the kitchen area, no movement, no sound anywhere in the house, so she slipped through the door. She tiptoed to the bedroom and peeked inside. Everything looked normal, undisturbed. There was no blood or any other sign that a birth had taken place.
Elena lay on the bed, thinking that if she fell asleep, she might awaken in the real world. Exhausted, she quickly drifted away.
Chapter 38
From the end of a dark, lengthy tunnel, Elena heard a familiar voice. “I-I am certain the b-baby is fine, Silvandir. I-I will examine her again wh-when she regains consciousness.”
Elena tried to move toward Braiden’s voice, but her body was submerged in thick mud. A dense, murky fog surrounded her, making it impossible to discern where she was. Her face was above the surface of the bog, or whatever it was, and her arms were able to move, but she could find nothing to grab hold of. Any movement seemed to pull her downward.
I must still be dreaming. How do I wake myself?
She called out to her adai. Nothing. Then she prayed, tried to summon the power of the Jhadhela. Still nothing.
“She’s so pale. I’m afraid for her.” Elena heard the concern in Silvandir’s voice. She longed to console him, reassure him. “It has been three weeks already. How much longer can she survive?”
Three weeks! What did he mean?
“She may not be speaking or interacting, but at least she is eating and drinking.”
“But her eyes are so vacant. She seems to be no more than a shell. There’s no person in there.” Elena had no trouble visualizing the tears on Silvandir’s face from the pain evident in his voice.
“The elders believe her body is working to mend itself in preparation for the baby’s birth, which they think is very near, though my calculations say otherwise.”
“I-I agree with the elders. I s-sense the baby is ready to m-make her appearance, though Elena’s b-body remains silent to m-me.”
That was Braiden. Are my adai here? Somehow she knew they were. She could feel their emotion. Celdorn was sad. Elbrion, his usual steady, peaceful self.
A face emerged from the fog. “Haldor?”
“It is time for you to awaken, Yabéha,” he said, with an embracing smile.
“I can’t move. I tried.”
His luminous hand reached toward her. “Grab hold.”
As he pulled her toward him, the mud tugged back. Haldor’s light increased as he yanked with more force. With several heavy splashes and a deep slurp, her body rose from the muck, free.
Elena flung herself into Haldor’s arms. He laughed and squeezed tightly.
“I have missed you, Yabéha.”
“And I you.” She hugged him with all the strength of her joy. Finally, she pulled back and asked, “Where am I?”
“You are caught inside your mind.”
“What happened?”
“I do not know. I only know that you summoned me.”
“I did? I don’t recall.” She studied him with fear and puzzlement. “I-I had a dream that I gave birth and Anakh tried to take the baby. I ran away, but then discovered it was a dream. I followed Yaelmargon and Elbrion’s voices back to the cottage. I thought if I lay down and fell asleep I might awaken back there, but instead I found myself here.” Her brow pulled into a frown. “I heard them say that I have been in here for three weeks, but I do not know why or how.”
“I am afraid I can offer you no help with that. I am here to assist you through the fog.” He held out his hand.
“Have I gone mad, Haldor?”
“No, Elena, you are only lost.”
Elena gripped his hand. She had finally learned it did no good to try and reason these things through. Some things about her mind were just beyond understanding.
The two trudged through the slime that sucked at their feet and pursued a path shrouded by the colorless mist. Haldor seemed confident of his route. Elena just clung to his hand and followed. Soon a large form took shape ahead. When they were within a few feet, Elena saw that it was a stone wall—a wall she knew well.
She and Haldor followed the perimeter of her inner castle until they reached the familiar set of wooden doors.
Elena studied the entrance with confusion. “We’re on the outside.”
“We are indeed.”
“How can I be lost in my internal world if I am outside its walls?”
Haldor laughed lightly. “It is your mind, Yabéha. I cannot answer that.”
“Well, I usually go through these doors from the inside to get back to the outer world. What do I do now?”
“I would suggest we go in and see what happens.”
Elena shrugged and tugged at the door. It easily opened. Everything looked the same as it always had when they stepped into the vestibule.
“Last time I was in here, Khanab had me tear it down and rebuild it.” Elena’s gaze shot toward the third door. There was nothing noteworthy about it. All seemed quiet in all directions, for that matter. This puzzled Elena.
“You are now in the place where you have control,” Haldor reminded her. “What is it you want to do?”
“I want to return to the outside.”
“Then do so.”
Elena smiled at Haldor’s pragmatic wisdom and nodded. She took a deep breath, turned around to face the doors through which they had just come, and pushed.
“Wait, Yabéha.” Haldor grasped her arm. “I cannot go with you. I must remain here.”
Tears immediately welled and Elena frowned. “I wish I could make things happen on the outside like I do in here. I would take you with me.”
“I love you, dear girl, but I have no desire to return with you. I am quite content to watch over you until we meet again.”
“I love you as well, Haldor,” Elena said as her tears spilled down her cheeks. “And I will hold you in my heart.” She gave a determined nod.
“You have grown, my dear. I am so very proud of you.” His hand was so warm and gentle as he stroked her hair. “You are precious. Be brave, Yabéha. There is a fierce battle ahead.”
Haldor’s words swirled and broke apart in the transitional void between worlds.
Chapter 39
“C-Celdorn, she’s w-waking,” Elena heard Braiden say. Several sets of boots pounded across the floor as her eyes stuttered open.
“Welcome back, my love.” Silvandir was lying next to her on the bed, cradling her in his arms. He looked equally as haggard as he had in her dream.
“How are you, little one?” Celdorn knelt beside her and studied her face, his own wrought with concern.
“I think I am all right,” she replied tentatively. “I’ve had a harrowing set of dreams, but I don’t know if
there is truth in any of it. What happened?”
“You collapsed three weeks ago after the events in Khala Lengoan. Khanab believes your body needed the rest in preparation for the birth of your daughter. That day was overwhelming in so many ways.”
Elena grasped her belly as pain twisted it, just like in her dream. “Something’s wrong,” she said through clenched teeth.
Dalgo moved to her side and was about to lay his hand on her abdomen when she recoiled into the protection of Silvandir’s embrace. Dalgo withdrew. She looked at him sideways and gave a fierce shake of her head. He clearly read the meaning. With hurt evident in his eyes, he stepped back and motioned for Braiden without a word.
Braiden’s hand hovered over her belly. “M-may I?”
Elena nodded.
The young healer pressed on the tightened muscles surrounding her baby and closed his eyes in concentration. Elena’s body relaxed, and the pain was gone. Braiden opened his eyes and smiled.
“Sh-she is ready to m-make her entrance into this w-world.”
Elena stared at him. “It’s too soon.” She looked at Silvandir. “This can’t be right. She shouldn’t come for months.” Her husband squeezed her shoulders and tried for an encouraging smile, but his face was rigid with fear.
“Sh-she disagrees with y-you.” Braiden shrugged and gave her a lopsided grin. “Th-that was a birth p-pang you felt. Sh-she is ready.”
“What do I do?”
“Y-you try to relax and l-let the process happen.”
“Have you ever assisted in a birth before?”
“N-no. I am a n-novice.” Braiden must have seen panic in her eyes because he quickly added, “D-Dalgo has been t-teaching me while you were g-gone, and it will be f-fine. He is h-here if there are any c-complications.”
Elena turned her scrutiny onto the older healer. Even without the dream, she found she could no longer trust Dalgo. And, as he admitted, he didn’t trust her either; he suspected her of being evil, of intentionally hurting Silvandir.
“W-we can also c-call for Hezhion or-or one of the m-midwives, if you like,” Braiden offered.
Elena’s gaze snapped back to Braiden. “No stranger is touching me.”
“I-I know it is d-difficult, especially w-with your history, b-but it is not sexual in any w-way. It may be n-necessary for the health of your b-baby,” Braiden reasoned with her.
“Would you have wanted someone you didn’t know doing a private exam after you were assaulted, no matter how medically necessary?” she argued.
Braiden immediately hung his head. “N-no.”
Silvandir’s armed tightened around her. “Elena, if at any point either you or the baby are in trouble, we will do whatever we must to protect the two of you,” he declared. “You can deal with the fallout later.”
He was frightened. Elena said no more.
“I-I do not expect any c-complications,” Braiden said, patting her hand. “And I-I have an advantage over even the m-most experienced midwife in that your b-body and the b-baby’s will speak to m-me and direct m-me.” He smiled reassuringly.
“Even though I’ve given birth before, I have no memory of it. What is going to happen?”
Braiden explained the process both to her and to Silvandir. “It c-could take a few hours or-or a few days. It is d-different for every w-woman.”
Elena had another pang, and the men decided to leave the room so Braiden could examine her. Dalgo told them he would be right outside the door, if they needed him. Celdorn and Elbrion kissed her on the forehead and told her they were only going as far as the next room, no matter how long it took.
Silvandir stayed where he was, though pale and shaky. “If you need me, I will stay by your side,” he offered.
Elena laughed in spite of the pain. “If you do, Braiden will have two patients to care for.” Silvandir’s face fell. “It’s all right, my love. This is no place for a warrior. I’ll be fine,” she assured him.
“I love you.” He kissed her passionately, and Elena returned it with all the ardor she could summon. She found herself reluctant to release his lips until Braiden cleared his throat. “And I can’t wait to meet our new daughter.”
After the room emptied, Braiden checked on the progress of the baby and his brow furrowed.
“What’s wrong?”
He shook his head while he moved his hand several times. Elena grimaced. “S-sorry. I kn-know this is uncomfortable. I-I am having difficulty f-finding the opening.” Suddenly his eyes widened. “Oh. I-I was confused because I-I was searching f-for a small opening and not f-finding it, b-but you are nearly ready. I-I can feel her head m-moving in the b-birth canal.”
“Is that unusual?”
“Very. M-most women have pains for m-many hours before there is any p-progress. But then, y-you are not most w-women,” he added with a smile.
As he wiped his hands on a towel, Braiden moved to the door and told the men to gather some cloths and prepare some warm water for the rapidly approaching birth. From the exclamations she heard, they were as startled as Braiden had been. By the time Silvandir brought the requested items, Braiden told them the baby’s hair was visible.
“D-do you want to s-see?” Braiden asked Silvandir.
Her husband hesitated but dared a peek. Awe replaced the fear, and his face lit with joy. “She has your hair, my love.”
Elena gasped as another pang seized her. Grabbing hold of the bed sheet, she fought the urge to scream. Her entire body arched with the pain. Silvandir turned white, and Elena waved for him to leave the room. He did so without a word of protest.
~
Less than half an hour later, the waiting men heard a tiny squawk. Silvandir immediately affixed his ear to the door. His eyes widened as beams of light exploded around the edges of the frame. He thrust it open only to find Braiden, mouth agape, holding a tiny form who burst with illumination with each of her emphatic squalls. The tiny bundle sure had healthy lungs.
Dalgo came alongside the stunned Braiden. “Wrap her up. Babies don’t like to be dangled in space,” he said with a chuckle.
Braiden broke out of his trance and immediately swaddled the infant and handed her to her mother. He threw a linen cloth over Elena as the rest of the men filed into the room. Silvandir dropped to his knees next to the bed, enthralled by their tiny daughter.
“Oh, look at you, little one,” Elena cooed. “Shh, shh, no need to make such a fuss.”
Their daughter went still at the sound of her mother’s voice. When her cries ceased, so did the brilliant light, which had pulsed out from her.
Instantly, Silvandir realized that the illumination in the room came from more than just the infant. Orbs of multi-colored, flickering light encircled the room while a soothing fragrance filled the air.
Elena looked up and smiled. “Haldor?” Silvandir followed her gaze but he couldn’t make out any distinct forms in the midst of the orbs.
The infant gurgled and drew his and Elena’s immediate and undivided attention. They stared in awe at the baby’s now visible features. Her nose was just the cutest little bump. Her mouth had closed up and looked like miniature rose petals. Her eyes turned to study her mother. They were clearly green, but of a deeper, denser hue than Elena’s.
“She is a tiny you,” Silvandir said, stroking the baby’s cheek, careful to use the backs of his fingers which weren’t as rough. He laid his hand on her head, no longer able to see through his tears. “You are beautiful,” he rasped. The baby’s eyes turned toward him, and her body pulsed with light.
“She recognizes your voice,” Elena said. “Did you see her energy throb at your touch? That must have been what I felt when you would grip my belly.” She grinned up at him, her smile bright with love and life.
Silvandir laid his head on Elena’s shoulder and hugged both of his girls unable to stop the sobs that rose.
“P-perhaps you could g-give us a few m-minutes,” Braiden said timidly to the other men. “I-I need to f-finish up here. I-I’
ll call you b-back soon. I p-promise.”
The men quickly congratulated Elena and Silvandir then left. The otherworldly visitors departed as well. Or at least they were no longer visible. Silvandir still had the sense that they were near.
~
Braiden focused on Elena. He tied off and cut the birth cord then delivered the afterbirth. Elena’s skin was torn in several places, but before he could attempt to heal or stitch them, they mended on their own. He watched in awe as her birth canal returned to its pre-birth state. He shook his head and cleaned her up. Then he turned his attention to the baby.
When he looked up, a lump immediately formed in his throat. Silvandir and Elena’s tear-streaked faces leaned into each other, their adoring gaze fixed on their child. They had clearly already fallen in love with her. Elena had unwrapped the baby, and they were caressing her tiny fingers and toes, marveling at the many miniature creases and delicate nails. They inspected every inch of her in silent awe. When she started to squirm, they wrapped her up and continued to gaze at her precious face, mesmerized, whispering tender words. The baby seemed equally enthralled.
“M-may I examine h-her?” Braiden asked hesitantly, not wanting to disrupt their private moment. “I-I just need to m-make certain she is h-healthy.”
The parents nodded at him absently. When Braiden laid the baby on the bed and opened the blanket, Elena suddenly sat up straight and shrieked.
“Don’t touch her!” She snatched up the infant protectively.
“Wh-what’s wrong?” Braiden immediately stepped back and studied Elena’s horror-stricken expression. He had no idea what he’d done to upset her.
Elena grimaced with pain. “Silvandir, take her. Quickly. Don’t let anyone touch her,” she demanded. Then she curled onto her side and held her head. She squirmed and writhed before crying out, “Make it stop!”
Silvandir clutched their daughter and stepped back. “What do I do?” he asked Braiden as Elena shrieked in pain. Fear and confusion clouded Silvandir’s features as he cradled the infant into his chest, instinctively placing his hand over her head in an attempt to shield her from the screams.