Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire,
when ye pray, believe that ye receive them,
and ye shall have them.
Mark 11:24
* * *
When Evelyn realized that the sounds of the wood chopping had stopped, she hurried to the door to see Hezekiah walking toward her dusting off his hands.
“Come inside and wash up.”
“Denke.”
After he walked through the door, she asked, “Would you like tea or kaffe?”
“Kaffe please.”
“Coming right up. The bathroom is just past the stairs.” She pointed to the bathroom and then she went back to the kitchen silently praying that the stove would work. She flicked the switch to ‘on’ and was pleased to hear the sound of gas. After striking a match she held it to the hotplate, and watched as the flame burned brightly. Denke Gott.
After she got everything prepared for the coffee the only thing left to do was wait for the pot to boil. She spun around when she heard Hezekiah’s footsteps at the doorway of the kitchen. “That was quick. Have a seat.”
When he sat, she sat down across from him.
“Denke for splitting the wood. I was going to ask Mark, but didn’t like to mention it because he’s so busy.”
He smiled. “Before I go I’ll fill the wood box for you.”
She smiled back. “That would be gut. You mentioned William’s haus. I thought that if I get it fixed, I could lease it out.” Normally she would never discuss financial matters with anyone, but now that she’d learned she owed him money, he needed to know what her circumstances were. She nervously fidgeted with her fingernails.
“That’ll be the pot boiling.”
“Oh! I didn’t hear it.” She fixed him a coffee and placed it in front of him. “Do you have milk or sugar?”
He shook his head. “I take it black.”
She made a cup of tea for herself and sat down again. All the while, Martha had been sitting quietly at her own small table looking from one to the other. Now, she banged her spoon on her bowl.
“Stop that, Martha. Do you want more?”
“Jah!”
“Well, you must ask nicely.”
“More please.”
“All right.” Evelyn took her bowl and filled it up from the pot that was now on the sink. “There you are,” she said as she placed the bowl down.
She looked over at Hezekiah to see him staring at her. Evelyn regretted asking him in for coffee, but what could she do after he had split so much wood for her? “I appreciate all the chopping of the wood you’ve done for me today.”
He smiled. “It wasn’t much for me to do. Is there anything else you need me to do while I’m here?”
“Nee.” She shook her head. “I can’t think of anything at all. I did have a problem with the stove, but that should be okay now.”
“What was wrong with it?”
“I spilled water on it and it didn’t work for a while.”
“Jah, sometimes they need to dry out when that happens.”
For the first time, Evelyn was curious how Hezekiah had managed to look after his household and kinner without a wife. When Jane had died, she hadn’t gone over and offered her help. She’d left it up to others in the community and right now Evelyn was disappointed in herself. Next time someone in the community died, she’d make an effort to see how the family was coping. She only hoped she’d be in a position to help when that happened; right now she would be no help.
She was reminded of the Scripture that she’d read the night before. “Is there anything I can help you with, Hezekiah? Things must have changed for you since Jane died.”
“It was hard at first but we all pitch in and do what Jane used to do. Nee denke, we’re fine.” He finished the last of his coffee. “I’ll get those logs in for you and you’ll be warm tonight.”
She stood too. “I’ll help.”
“Me too,” Martha said.
He laughed and then leaned forward and touched Martha on her head. “You stay and eat your breakfast.” He looked back at Evelyn. “I don’t need help.”
When he’d brought the last of the wood in, he stepped outside and they said their goodbyes while Martha hung onto her mother’s apron. They both turned their heads when they saw a buggy coming toward them.
“Looks like Mark,” Evelyn said recognizing the horse.
“I’ll wait to say hello.”
It wasn’t Mark. As the buggy drew closer, they could both see only one person in the buggy and that person was Jed.
“Oh, it’s Mark and Sally’s visitor, Jed,” Evelyn said, now feeling awkward.
Jed got out of the buggy and the two men introduced themselves while Evelyn stayed near the door. She overheard their conversation.
“You’re Hezekiah? My real name’s Jebediah!” Jed laughed. “Now all we need is a Nehemiah, a Jeremiah and a… Well, never mind.”
Hezekiah remained stony-faced as he turned to wave to Evelyn.
Jed walked over to her. “Morning, Evelyn.”
“Morning, Jed.”
When Hezekiah drove away, Jed said, “I take it that’s the man you’re not going to marry?”
Evelyn’s mouth fell open. “He was splitting wood for me.” She bit her lip when she realized how bad that sounded, as though she was using the man to do things for her. “He dropped by unexpectedly and offered to do that. I didn’t ask.”
Jed laughed. “No need to explain anything to me.”
Of course, there wouldn’t be a need to explain herself. Jed is marrying someone else; why would he care what I’m doing, or what Hezekiah’s doing? “I didn’t mean for you to overhear what I said about him.”
“I won’t tell anyone. You’re secret’s safe with me.”
“It’s not a secret. I don’t have secrets.” She stopped her sentence abruptly. She did have secrets. Now she had the secret that she owed Hezekiah money, thanks to Amos. “Did Mark send you here?”
“He did, but I can see I’m too late.”
Evelyn frowned.
“I came here to see that you had enough firewood. Mark and Sally thought you might be running low.”
Martha moved forward and held onto one of Jed’s legs.
Evelyn pulled her away. “Martha! You can’t do that.”
Jed laughed. “It’s okay,” he said as he lifted her up onto his shoulders as her loud giggles rang out.
“Run!” Martha called out, wanting him to run with her on his shoulders as he’d done the previous day.
“Nee, I’ve come to see what I can do for your mudder today.” He looked over at Evelyn. “I’m at your service today. I’ve nothing to do and Mark’s gone to work. You’ll be doing me a favor if you give me things to do.”
She shook her head. “I can’t pay you. I would if I could, but I can’t.”
“I’ve not asked for any payment. I meant it when I said you’d be doing me a favor.”
Maybe God was answering her prayers. “How much work would you like?”
“Whatever you’ve got. I can work until sunset.”
Until dark? Evelyn tapped a finger on her chin. The jobs she had to do were large jobs that would take many days. There were plaster repairs, repairs to the floorboards, and the windows didn’t shut properly.
“You could clean the gutters out for me.”
“I’d love to do that.”
Evelyn giggled. “There’s a ladder in the barn.”
“While I do that, come up with something else for me to do.”
“I will. I’ll have a long list just like the one you made for William’s haus.”
Jed laughed and placed Martha back on the ground. “We might be allowed to play later, but first, I’ve got work to do.”
“Okay,” Martha said staring up at him.
“While you have the ladder out, you could clean the windows on the upper level of the house.”
He nodded. “Certainly.”
“I’ll get t
he water and the bucket ready.”
As he strode off to the barn, Evelyn hurried to get the bucket and the window-cleaning items ready for him. They always cleaned their windows with Methylated Spirits. She was embarrassed that he’d see how long it had been since the gutters and the windows were cleaned.
After three hours of work, Evelyn managed to convince Jed to take a break so he could eat. She’d made a pie and a pot roast and roasted vegetables. Martha was taking her afternoon nap.
“I guess you can tell that the place hasn’t had any attention for some time.”
“I noticed. Was Amos sick before he died?”
“Nee. He might have felt poorly but he never let on to me that he did. After he died, the doctor told me that he could’ve had feelings of depression, anxiety and general unhappiness.”
“Did you notice he had these feelings? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Evelyn sighed. “I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know it was something so dangerous.” Evelyn swallowed hard and said, “I’ve only just found out that he lost his job a whole year ago.”
“He never told you?”
Evelyn shook her head.
“Did he leave every day and go somewhere?”
Now she would have to tell him of their living arrangements.
She shook her head and looked away.
“You don’t have to answer. It seems strange that you wouldn’t know.”
“Amos didn’t spend much time here. He spent most of his time at his vadder’s haus.”
Jed looked away and nodded. “I thought that might’ve been the case when I saw the bedroom. It looked as though someone had been living there. And there was paperwork with his name on it. I didn’t like to mention it to you.”
Now that she’d told someone it didn’t seem so shameful. Evelyn sniffed.
“It must’ve been hard on you.”
“It was and on Martha. Now I know why he never played with her and never stayed here at the haus often.”
“You say he hadn’t worked in a year?”
“That’s right. A whole year.” She shook her head. “You know, I haven’t told anyone what I’ve just told you.”
“Maybe you should. Everything’s easier when you share your troubles with people.”
“I can’t help feeling ashamed, as though I could’ve done something to prevent what happened. His death, him losing his job, the way he was…”
“Things happen how they’re meant to occur. Sometimes bad things happen and we can’t avoid them—like a pothole in the road that we don’t see until we’re upon it. It’s too late to turn the buggy and we have to close our eyes and hope the wheels don’t fall off.”
Evelyn laughed. “Life potholes?”
He nodded. “Potholes on the road of life.”
“That’s a nice way to see things.” Evelyn felt better. “Would you like seconds?”
“Nee. I’d better get back to work so I’ll have time to play with Martha before it gets dark.”
Chapter 10
The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression,
but he will by no means clear the guilty,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children,
to the third and the fourth generation
Numbers 14:18
* * *
The next day, Beth, her oldest sister came to visit.
“You need to be able to ask people to help you. No one will know that you need help if you don’t reach out.”
“Mark’s visitor, Jed, helped me with things yesterday. I allowed him to help.”
“Gut!”
“Anyway, I’m managing fine at the moment. Mark is figuring out what to do with the haus—with William’s haus.” Her sister kept glaring at her, so she added, “I don’t like to bother people.”
“If someone asked you for help would you give it?”
“Of course, I would.”
“And you'd feel good about it?”
“Well, yes. I like to help others.” Evelyn smiled.
“You need to let others feel good by being able to receive as well as give. It’s an action that goes two ways.”
“It’s just that everybody seems so busy all the time.”
“That’s only because people like to keep busy.” Beth looked about her. “I can see now why you haven’t invited anybody over these past couple of years. How did Amos let the place get into a state like this?”
“He had William’s haus to look after as well and he was sick even though he never let on. I suppose he found it too hard to keep up the repair of the two places.”
Beth folded her arms over her chest. “From what Sally told me, William’s house was in a dreadful state.”
Evelyn yawned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m tired, that’s all. I feel everything is piling on top of me.”
“That’s why you need to reach out to people and ask for help. With you being the youngest, I would’ve thought you’d be used to having people do things for you.” Beth laughed at her own words.
“Denke for watching Martha. She loves playing with Jemima.”
“They’re like sisters more than cousins. Sally tells me that Hezekiah asked you to marry him.”
Evelyn gasped. “She should never have told anybody that.”
“Why can’t I know if Sally knows? I’m your schweschder too. Anyway, she only told me—no one else.”
“I had to tell someone and Sally was the next person I saw right after he asked me. Are you certain Sally won’t tell anyone else?”
“Nee she won’t. We were talking about you and she just mentioned how you were feeling down in the dumps and then she just happened to mention that Hezekiah asked you to marry him.” Beth gave a small giggle.
I wish I’d never mentioned anything. I’ll really feel bad if that gets back to Hezekiah.”
“Well, what did you say to him?”
“What do you mean what did I say to him? Of course, I wouldn’t marry him, he’s too old for me and he’s not right for me.”
“Amos was older than you.”
“Not that much older. He was only eight years older, not a hundred years older than I am.”
Beth giggled. “I think Hezekiah would be about twenty years older. His first wife, Jane, was younger than he was too.”
“Don’t say ‘first wife’ as though I’m going to be his second.”
“Maybe it is something you should seriously consider.”
“Nee! I don’t feel that way about him.”
“You might if you spent some time with him and got to know him better.”
“He’s too serious for me. And I don’t care so much about his age physically, it’s more his age mentally. He seems so much older. Do you see what I mean?”
Beth shook her head. “I don’t. You’d have a good life with him. I think you should consider it. He’s quite a wealthy man and if you married him you wouldn’t have a care in the world.”
“If I ever marry again, I’m going to marry for love. I feel as though I was forced into my marriage with Amos; everyone told me that love would develop. Instead, things went from here to here.” With a hand, she gestured high then low.
“Are you blaming me?” Beth asked.
“I’m not blaming anybody.”
“Because I think I told you that you would fall in love with him after you married. I felt more deeply in love with Ronald after we were married. Sorry if I said anything to steer you in the wrong direction. I would never want to do that.
“I’m not blaming anybody. It was my decision to make. I can’t blame anybody for that. It was some older ladies in the community that swayed my decision. I thought I should marry or I’d be on my own forever. I kept waiting but nobody had shown up.” Jed came into Evelyn’s mind and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Why are you smiling? Have you met someone?”
“I’m only smiling because I
’ve had a bad few days. I’m smiling because it’s a little trick I do to make myself feel better.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
Evelyn shook her head. “I’m all cried out. I have no more tears left. I’ll think about what you said about asking people for help. I don’t know why I have such a problem with it.”
“Do you feel unworthy; is that it? Maybe you feel that you’re not worthy enough for people to help, or to take up their time?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you talk things over with the bishop?”
“I’m not the kind of person who runs to the bishop with every little problem I have. Besides, it wouldn’t give anybody else any time to talk with him—people with bigger problems.”
“Maybe your problem is that you’re stubborn.”
“I could be. I’m just trying to have faith and live day to day.”
“Along with faith must come action. You can’t sit and believe that Gott will do something for you when you’re doing nothing to help yourself.” She raised her arms in the air. “I’m not saying that’s the case with you, I’m just saying that if you can do something toward whatever it is that you want to have, then that’s what you should do.”
Again, Evelyn’s mind drifted back to the story of the widow. In faith she made Elijah the bread as he instructed. Maybe she had to make a step in faith.
“What are you thinking about?” Beth asked.
“I’m thinking about what you said and it doesn’t make sense. I have to act in faith, but how do I know what Gott wants me to do in faith?”
“The community always lends a hand, so just ask someone when you want something done. It’s that simple. You don’t have to think so hard and worry so much about things.”
Beth assumed she was talking about practical things, but Evelyn was talking about things of the heart. She’d like nothing more than to fall in love and marry a man who loved her.
“Okay, then, I’ll ask you if you can mind Martha later today. I have a few errands to run and it’ll be faster without her.”
“Of course I will. She’ll love to play with Jemima when she gets out of schul.”
“Denke.”
“I can take her with me now.”
Amish Widow's Proposal Page 5