Turning my cousin around I hug her fully, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and holding her tight as she does the same around my waist. Rhea is a beacon of strength for me. Surviving the love of her life being deployed, then being shot three times herself, she is one of, if not the strongest person I know. She is a great friend, an awesome wife and an even better mother. I can only hope to be like her if I get the chance at a family.
“Oh Rhea,” I whisper kissing her on the cheek and releasing her, returning to our small pile of dirty dishes. “Please don’t worry over me.” She huffs and I know that won’t stop her from worrying day and night, but I can try to ease her mind when I can.
Hearing Bobby’s laugh float in from the garage I smile, letting the sound of it wash over me. Can I do this? Can I be the woman he needs me to be? Will he want me after all my secrets are revealed?
I can only take one day at a time and hope that after it all, I can be the one for him and he can forgive my mistakes.
CHAPTER EIGHT:
May 11, 2013
Ellie
I was having such a great dream about Bobby and me that I don’t want to get out of bed right now, but my morning run is calling my name. So without lack of groaning, I pull myself from the cheap little twin bed and pull on some shorts and a tank, not caring how my hair looks as I pull the short locks into a ponytail.
Since Bobby has moved in with Rhea and Chad, we’ve seen each other almost every day. We’ve gone on walks to the back of their property, sneaking away like teenagers to make out in the tall grass, fooling around but we haven’t had sex yet. Not that we haven’t wanted to, but we’ve decided to wait until the time seems right. We still want to get to know each other as much as possible.
Which is nice because there is just something about Bobby that makes me want to wait. I want it to be more than just two horny people getting it on. I want it to be about us and I want it to be significant enough and at the point in time when I know I’m strong enough to be what Bobby needs. When I know I can be strong enough to support him in the life he will be leading.
I don’t know what it is but that boy makes me feel like a school girl again. Even now, as I’m tying my sneakers I can’t help but smile and laugh quietly at the thought of us playing twenty questions while sitting out by Rhea’s fire-pit. We had gone over first loves, favorite music, favorite foods, favorite places to be and had found out we have a lot more in common than we first thought. We both love country and rock music, along with loving hamburgers piled high with pickles and onions, and being on a farm. He had thrown his arm around me and pulled me onto his lap, whispering in my ear that we might be made for each other. The smile on my face widens as his smooth voice plays over and over in my head while I put my ear-buds in, cranking up my iPod with some Luke Bryan.
Heading out of my trailer park I wave at Melody and Jude, sitting on Jude’s makeshift patio as they drink their morning coffee. I haven’t been as close with Melody lately as before our little incident at the Virginia Beach club, but I’m still cordial to her. No reason to be overly nasty.
I turn towards the edge of town. I haven’t run this way in a while and today seems like the perfect day to venture towards my old town of Waverly. Maybe I’ll even stop in at the Spring’s family farm and see my old friend Lady.
The gravel crunches under my feet as I keep a steady pace, hovering at the stop signs and intersections long enough to make sure nothing is coming and admiring the springtime warmth from the sun. Small daisies and tulips are starting to pop up on the side of the road as I near the town line, humming away to Volbeat as they drum onto my playlist.
Horns honk and I wave at the smiling faces that pass me slowly on the road, taking extra care to wave to the Wakefield sheriff and his deputy when they flash their lights at me as I jog by their speed trap hideout. They both tip their coffee cups to me as I smile, singing lowly to myself.
As I round a slight corner, nearing the Springtime Equine Farm, I immediately know there’s something wrong. There are horse trailers parked all along their driveway and a few along the road; more than they own. There aren’t any horses in the pastures and on a nice day like this, that is a red alert in my mind. I pick up my pace and by the time my feet hit the loose gravel of their driveway I’m sprinting, my breathing heavy and fast.
The youngest son, Bryan Spring, is the first I see and I wave at him, ripping the ear-buds out as I skid to a stop. I can see the sadness plain across the young boys face and as he gets closer, I notice the slight tears building on his lashes.
“What’s goin’ on?” I ask between heavy breaths, trying to relax before I overload on nerves and exertion. The boy turns his face up to me just as a few tears slip out from his big brown eyes and my heart starts to break, even not knowing the situation.
I had waved and talked to this boy almost every day while I lived in the Waverly trailer park, stopping and helping him feed the horses when his father was away getting groceries and supplies. I have watched him grow at least six inches in height and even now his pants don’t fit him quite correctly, being more high water skimmers than regular jeans. Now, seeing him torn up over something I can’t help but let it affect me, the tightness in my chest from running turning into nervousness and a little fear.
“We gotta sell the horses,” he sniffles, scraping the back of his dust covered hand across his face, smearing the tears and dirt in a path across his cheek.
“What?” I say, baffled. Huge equine farms like theirs usually do great in small towns like this and they are selling their form of profit? There must be something wrong. Just as I’m about to ask him what happened, I hear gruff voices coming from the barn followed by a string of distressing whinnies. With my mouth agape I follow Bryan’s stare as his gaze flits over to the barn.
His father, Kelley, is helping two men load three horses into a trailer and one of them is Lady. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m sprinting to them, sloshing through mud puddles from last night’s rain and hopping over stray piles of manure. Sliding around the edge of the trailer I catch the reins of Lady’s lead, yanking them from the scruffy man’s hands.
“What are you doin’?” I almost scream, looking from the two strangers to Kelley Spring, watching him hand off his horse and scrape his hand back through his blonde hair. He looks worn down and as he makes his way towards me a wave of disappointment flows over me.
“Miss Ellie, how are you?” he whispers, wrapping his hand around my arm, trying to pull me free from Lady but I’m not letting go. She’s too good of a horse to let these two shady men make off with her and I’m standing my ground.
“What is happening here Kell?” I plead, tugging for Lady to come to me and she obliges. Her champagne coat is dirty and needs a good brushing as I run my hand over it, patting her lightly as she snorts and bumps her nose into my shoulder. She remembers me. Her eyes tell me she’s afraid and that she needs me.
“We need the money somethin’ awful,” he says, turning his eyes to the dirt and spitting off to the side. He’s a country boy through and through and it must be killing him to do this. “I’ve sold off all the horses and these men are here to pick up theirs.”
“All of them?” I can’t believe it. Their family has operated this farm for over sixty years, raising and training some of the best show horses and work horses in all of Virginia. This can’t be right.
“All of ‘em,” he nods, spitting again and giving me a sad look. Out of the corner of my eye I spot his wife in the bay window of the home with a baby on her hip. She waves and I wave back, trying to give her a smile but I know it’s strained. Now I know why this is happening.
“Now if you would,” Kelley tugs on the reins in my hand but I don’t hand them over, “these men would like to get a move on.”
“Not with Lady they aren’t,” I protest, shaking my head at him and the now laughing men. The Spring family should be able to keep her. She is their best show and work horse after all. She is beautiful and majesti
c and should be a beacon of hope. She doesn’t deserve to be handed off to these two questionable men to go only God knows where to probably be mistreated.
“Ellie, they already paid in cash,” Kelley pleads, tugging on the reins and ripping them from my grip as I try to scramble them back. Turning his back on me he starts to lead her into the trailer and my heart is breaking. I can’t let this gentle creature go. She’s been a symbol of hope for me since the beginning of this journey of mine and I can’t let her disappear now.
“I’ll double whatever they paid,” I yell, getting Kelley to stop in his tracks with his back still to me. The two men are looking at me with open mouths and wide eyes. One cracks up laughing as the silence hangs over us as the other just scratches his beard.
“Ellie you don’t have three grand to give me and even if you did,” Kelley says, turning his face only slightly to look at me over his shoulder.
“I’ll get you the money,” I plead feeling the hurt in my chest spread, starting to bring tears to my eyes. I fumble with the zipper pocket of my track jacket, almost dropping my cell phone as I pull it out and call Bobby. He’s the only one that I can think of at this point that can help me, plus he’s around Chad who I know will help.
I need them to come help me convince this good hearted man to keep this horse. They can certainly talk some sense into him, can’t they?
“Ellie.” Kelley turns and looks me full in the face while handing Lady’s reins to one of the guys. I’m cursing to myself as to why Bobby isn’t answering as the beaten down farmer walks up to me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
“They’ve already paid.” He whispers, patting one of my arms as a few tears slip out onto my cheeks. Hearing Bobby’s voicemail I press end and shove my phone back in my pocket, letting the anger I feel for Lady spill out. “I can’t afford to give them their money back.”
“But,” is all I can get out, my voice clipped by the sound of the shutting door to the trailer. My first symbol of hope in my new life is being shipped off, away from the loving family that took care of her and raised her since birth.
I watch as the guys shake hands with Kelley, accepting his apology on my behalf because I could really care less whether or not they are offended. I watch, my heart still in dismay, as the black cloud of exhaust rises up from their diesel stacks and as their tailgate disappears around the slight corner in the direction that I came from, with Lady and two of her companions tucked away in the back.
I feel deflated. My chest hurts with all the tears I’m holding in at seeing my equine friend sold off and as I look over at little Bryan, I’m pained by the tears he’s silently shedding. I can tell he’s trying to be a ‘man’, trying not to let the loss of something as tangible as a horse affect him but it is, I can tell. He was attached to every last one of the horses and it was evident in all the time I would catch him lying in the pasture with them, just staring up at the sky.
“Oh Bry,” I whisper, taking him in a one arm hug as his father returns to helping the other buyers with their new horses, loading them and brushing them down. The boy wraps his arms around my waist and rests his cheek on my chest, sobbing as silently as he can. I wish I could be doing the same, but I can’t. Not here at least.
I hug Bryan to my chest till the last horse is gone, letting him cry so that his father can help load up the last of his families prized horses and wave at the driver as the trailer disappeared. Kelley comes over and tells his son to go on in the house and with one last, tight hug, the boy tells me goodbye, leaving me to deal with the hurt in my own heart for the situation.
“I know it’s gonna be hard on the boy,” Kelley says, kicking at a stone with his worn out steel toes, sending it flying into his perfectly mowed grass. His statement makes me a bit mad but I nod, fumbling with my iPod and trying not to let the frustration pour over.
“Yeah, I know,” is all I say, turning and waving over my shoulder as I slam the ear-buds into place, ignoring the slight pain I cause myself and turning back towards home. I don’t take notice of my favorite tulips or the daisies; I just keep my eyes trained on the road and focus in on the music.
It’s Volbeat again, telling me that I’m the sinner in the “Sinner is You”. It pulls at the fragile state that my normal calming equine friends puts me in and I let a few tears roll over my lashes as I fail to hesitate at the stop signs. I could care less right now if I got hit. Yeah, it sounds stupid that I’m this torn up over a horse that wasn’t even mine, but the fact is, she was mine.
Lady was the first good thing that I saw when I lived in Waverly. My morning runs where always lit up by her presence and her meeting me at the fence. She listened as I talked to her; cried to her, and told her some of my darkest secrets. She never judged or belittled me. She never said that I was stupid or dumb, or that I was a whore or a slut. She just stood there with her big brown eyes watching me as I would run my fingers through her champagne coat and dark brown mane. She was my first source of hope until I found Rhea, but Lady still meant the world to me. And now she’s gone.
My legs are screaming at me but I don’t stop my quickened pace. I need to work all this tension out and before I get back to my trailer because if I don’t I’ll collapse like a worthless pile in the shower and cry my eyes out.
I don’t know if I’m more upset for little Bryan and the loss of his precious companions or for me and the loss of my morning distraction during my run. I realize now why sometimes they use horses in therapy with some children, because frankly they are amazing. There is this sense of calm and acceptance that comes with buddying up with this enormously powerful animal and having it rest it’s head on your shoulder. But now, all of that is gone for both me and Bryan.
As I round the last slight curve, now within sight of the trailer park, I let out a heavy sigh and try and immerse myself in humming a little Reba. I know I couldn’t have given Kelley the money he deserved for Lady, but it was worth a shot for Bryan’s sake and for mine. Watching that gate shut on the trailer was like having a piece of me slammed away with those three horses. Maybe, just maybe, it was for the better.
Turning into the drive and waving to Jude as he pulls out, I take a deep breath and push back the tears. Maybe seeing Lady being shipped off was a sign. Maybe it’s telling me that I need to move on and get over this hump of being scared to love someone again. Maybe I should take this experience and let go of my hesitant self to embrace my future.
Swinging open my front door, I slam it shut and lean back against it, closing my eyes. Ripping my iPod from my arm and tossing it blindly towards the direction of my ratty couch I listen to my ragged breathing. I don’t know if I’m totally ready to let go and with that I know that I am weak. I might be too weak for what Bobby needs in a girlfriend.
“No,” I tell myself, snapping my eyes open to stare at the fading floral wallpaper of my living room. “I will not go through this again. I will let things unfold as they will.” Letting out a loud and long sigh I toss my jacket over the chair and start stripping for a long, hot shower. I need it.
I crank on the water and step in after settling on something with myself. I will let things work out as they will, being myself and try not to let anyone get me down. I know it’s easier said than done, but right now that’s all I have to offer myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake
She doesn’t see my patrol car as she jogs by and turns into her trailer park drive, but I sure as hell see her. Her red track jacket, skin tight black jogging pants, bright sneakers on her feet and white ear-buds in her ears. Oh yeah, I definitely see Ellie Mae.
Just like that day back in high school when I first noticed her for real, as more than just another pretty little thing in the crowd. She was wearing her cheerleading practice booty shorts and grey t-shirt, tied in a knot at the back while exposing part of her stomach. It was a hot day and I was doing drills with the football team, pausing only when I caught a glimpse of her. Since that day, I’ve been hooked and she’s been
mine.
Hell, she still is mine. At least she should be. Yeah, sure, when we lived in West Virginia I cheated, a lot, but I’m a man. I have needs.
“Can we get goin’ now man,” my partner Tom whines from the passenger seat, tossing his hat onto the dash and pitching his half empty coffee cup out the window into the grass. I just throw my middle finger up at him and keep my eyes on the run down trailer she disappeared into. I’d sit here all day if I could because I’ve done it before.
Ever since the night I woke up and found she had taken off, I’ve been desperate to get her back. She is my wife and she was carrying my child.
Was. Just thinking the word makes my fists ball up against the steering wheel. She killed our baby, not caring what I wanted. She only thought of herself. She is a bitch and I plan on showing her just how she should be treated because of it.
Since that night I’ve transferred over to the Virginia State Troopers, knowing she would have come to Wakefield in search of her family. Plus it pays more than the West Virginia Troopers.
I cornered her back in January in a bar, but her loud mouth friends and cousin stepped in and I had to hightail it out of there. Her complaints and claims fall on deaf ears because one of my superiors is my cousin, so he slides everything under the carpet. It is nice being above the law and being the law at the same time.
I can’t wait to bring her little world crashing down around her like she deserves. She doesn’t know that I know her little secret. That little Virginia Beach secret involving those two homos she likes to hang out with. Oh man I bet her Navy boy is going to love that one; I bet he’ll flip shit. The best part is going to be the look on Ellie’s face when I break the news to her friends and family.
I Never Asked You To Save Me: Book 3 The Wakefield Romance Series Page 11