by Tina Michele
Bree took one step forward and gasped as the load swayed perilously. She paused mid-step and watched the stack until the movement stopped. She looked up and screamed at the unexpected sight of Carson leering from the doorway. As she lifted her arms in response, the tray tipped and everything began to fall forward. Carson lunged at the tumbling pile and caught the goods between her body and Bree’s.
“Need some help?” Carson said as she pushed the items back and repositioned them onto the tray. Her heart raced and her stomach fluttered when Bree’s eyes met hers.
Bree gave her a shy smile. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Carson blushed as she looked at Bree’s sparkling eyes and pink lips. It seemed like forever since the last time she had felt Bree’s soft, sensuous lips on hers. She missed it with her heart and soul, and she wished that the stupid tray or the awkwardness wasn’t wedged between them.
Carson shifted the weight of the tray to herself. “I’ll carry this.”
“What? You don’t think I can manage to get it out there in one piece?”
“No, babe. No, I don’t.” Carson loved when she could be there when Bree needed her. Even if it was for the small things, like carrying a dinner tray stacked with paper goods.
“Who am I kidding? You’re right. Thank you.”
Carson was glad to see Bree’s face. She had thought about nothing but her for days, and she had ached to be apart from her. The more time Carson spent with Bree, the more she missed her when they were apart. She couldn’t remember what had been more important in her life before Bree came into it, and Carson wasn’t sure anything would ever be.
*
When Jim had mentioned having a Sunday barbecue, Bree had no idea that he intended to follow through with it. Nevertheless, she was grateful for the happy distraction. Bree had little doubt of his intentions when he’d called up their closest friends and invited them that very morning, and she was surprised that everyone said yes. In spite of her anxiety over the conversation she needed to have with Carson, Bree was still very excited to see her.
Bree sat and watched her family and friends mix and mingle together. She’d had the last couple of days to let the reality of her decision about Marion sink in. There was a strange emptiness that had settled in her mind the moment she’d walked away from her, but it wasn’t a void. It was a freedom. As she looked around at the ones she loved while they talked and laughed with ease, she believed it. Jim and Carson stood near the grill and sipped beer while they exerted their masculine dominance over the fire. When Jim put his arm around Carson, Bree’s heart melted. It was a simple gesture, but one of love, and something Bree had never seen him do with anyone else. Bree couldn’t help but smile as she rested her chin on her hands and admired the two people most dear in her life.
“She’s a true heart, that one.” Bree was so enchanted by them she hadn’t noticed when Barbara sat next to her.
Without taking her eyes off them she responded, “They both are.”
“So are you, you know.”
Bree looked over at Barbara, who looked back at her with the love she’d only ever seen in her uncle’s eyes. “Sometimes I wonder if I deserve it.”
“Deserve what, sweetheart?” Barbara wrapped an arm around Bree’s shoulders and pulled her in tightly.
“The way she looks at me.” Since the day they’d met, Carson had looked at Bree like she was the most precious thing in the world.
“Everyone should be as lucky to be loved as much as she loves you. And you deserve what she has to give.”
Bree looked at Barbara. “She loves me?”
“Since the first moment she saw you.”
Bree looked back at them when she heard Carson laugh. “She loves me, for now. Because she doesn’t know.”
“You underestimate her, darling.” Barbara waved when Jim and Carson looked over and smiled.
Bree smiled back. She loves me. “I truly hope you’re right.”
*
Bree and Carson waved good-bye to Gwen and Suzanne before Bree closed Alan’s car door and tapped on the roof. Carson slipped her hand into Bree’s and was grateful when she didn’t pull back. Since she had been standoffish most of the day, Carson had been reluctant to make any such move for fear that Bree would dismiss her. She was content to have Bree’s hand in hers as they walked back around to the patio. Barbara tossed garbage into a bag while Kelli helped Jim put the cover on the grill.
Carson felt Bree squeeze her hand and pull her to a stop. Carson looked at Bree, who had an unexpected sadness on her face. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
“I need to talk to you.” Bree had put it off as long as she could. She needed to get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“Of course, babe.” Carson’s heart thumped in her chest and a lump rose into her throat.
Bree led her across the yard to the gazebo at the corner of the yard. They sat down side by side, and Bree turned herself to face Carson. “There’s something I need to tell you. I’m not sure how to start or how to say it, but you deserve to know.”
“God. I’ve never been so freaked out in all my life,” Carson blurted out before she could even stop herself.
“I know. I’m so sorry about that.” Bree grabbed Carson’s hand and held it in both of hers. “Okay. I’ve been going over and over in my head the different ways to say this without it sounding worse than it is. But it always sounds the same. So, here it goes. Marion came back.” Almost without breathing, Bree told Carson about Marion. “She showed up at my door like no time had passed and asked me to come home to San Diego. She wanted us to start over, to pick up where our lives left off.”
Carson stood. She felt numb and dumbstruck. “Wow. Um, okay. I can’t say that I was expecting anything you just said. My brain and heart are fighting between a thousand different questions.” Carson looked down at the hand Bree squeezed mercilessly.
“I’m so sorry, Carson. Please listen, let me explain. I understand if you’re mad that I didn’t tell you before now. I just didn’t know how or even what to tell you.” Bree’s voice cracked.
“I guess I only really have one question.” Of course Carson had more than that, but she needed to know one above all the others. “What did you tell her?”
Bree looked up at Carson. “I…I didn’t.” Bree hadn’t said anything to her. She had just walked out of the restaurant and never looked back.
Carson’s throat tightened around the lump that she couldn’t swallow. “You didn’t? What do you mean you didn’t?” Carson stood up, but Bree’s shaking hand held fast to hers.
Bree refused to let her go. “Carson, wait. When she kissed me I felt nothing at all, nothing like I feel when you kiss me. I told her I had family here, and I had you. And then I said good-bye, and I left. It was so much more than she ever gave me when she walked away. She didn’t deserve more than that.”
“You kissed her?” The wind was thrust from her lungs as if she’d been hit by a truck.
“I did. Well, she kissed me.” Tears welled up in Bree’s eyes. “I was just so overwhelmed. She was there, standing in front of me like I’d dreamed for so long. But—”
Carson stood and grabbed the railing for support. She couldn’t catch her breath even in the wide open air.
“Carson, please. For a very long time, Marion was my entire life. Long after she left, I wished for that moment. I never had any doubt about what I’d do when she came home. I’d fantasized about it a thousand times. She promised me, Carson. She’s my wife. I told her I’d wait for her. But you—”
“Your what? You’re still married?” Carson pulled her hand back and wrapped her arms around herself. She felt nauseous and light-headed.
Bree nodded and reached out for her, but Carson moved away, her heart breaking.
“You changed everything I ever thought I wanted.” Bree closed her eyes and her tears fell freely.
“And what do you want, Bree? Because for the first time in my life I have no doubts or questio
ns. I know what I want, and it’s right here.” Carson stepped forward and wiped the streak of tears from Bree’s cheek. “And now you tell me that you aren’t even free to be mine?”
“I am free, Carson. I told her that I couldn’t just leave the people I care about the same way she did. Then I left. I left her standing there and I walked away. I chose you.”
“But you’re married, Bree. You can’t just say it’s over and that’s that.” No matter how much she wished it was, it was not that simple.
“I know. But it is. I have the papers. I’ll sign them right now.” Bree stood.
The knot in Carson’s throat tightened again. “They’re not even signed? I know you’ve been scared and confused lately, but I never put less than a hundred percent into whatever this is or was. No matter how uncertain I was about what I was doing. It wasn’t even something I knew I wanted until I met you. I lo…I’ve got to go.”
Bree’s eyes opened in surprise. “I…you…what?”
“I love you.”
“Oh, Carson, I—”
Carson didn’t know what Bree was going to say, but she wasn’t ready to hear whatever it was. “Don’t.”
Bree stepped back in surprise. “What?”
Carson stepped forward. “Please don’t say whatever it is you were about to say. I’ve never done this before so I’m not sure how it’s supposed to be, but I’m almost certain this isn’t it. Not like this, Bree. I need to go.”
“Carson.”
She kissed Bree on the lips and excused herself. As Carson left Bree standing alone in the gazebo, she struggled to contain the burning tears that blinded her. She hoped with everything she had that it wasn’t good-bye, but as she walked away from Bree, she steeled herself for the possibility that it was.
Chapter Twenty-one
Carson and Kelli drove back to the warehouse in near silence. The exceptions being the halfhearted attempts that Kelli made to get Carson’s attention. Carson replayed the words in her mind. She’s my wife. The idea of Bree kissing another woman made her sick to her stomach, but the fact that she and Marion were still married ripped into her chest. Why had Bree kept that from her? What was the point? If she loved me, why didn’t she sign the papers? Why hasn’t she just been honest with me? Would she have told me that she loves me, too? While Carson’s head wasn’t certain, something inside her soul told her yes. “What am I doing?”
“What are you talking about?” Kelli was surprised by Carson’s outburst but encouraged the conversation.
Carson kept her eyes on the road ahead. “With Bree. What am I doing?”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking, Car.” Kelli adjusted herself in the seat so that she had turned her body to face Carson. “What happened?”
Carson gave Kelli the watered-down version of what Bree had told her just twenty minutes earlier and exposed the painful truth of the situation. “And then I left.”
“Wow. Okay. Let’s think about this.”
“What is there to think about? She’s still married.”
Kelli rolled her eyes. “When has a ring ever discouraged you from getting what you want?”
“This is a little different than that.” Carson wondered if it really was different. In this case she knew that Bree was no longer with Marion and she had been honest with her about her feelings, if not the specifics. “No, it’s very different. I wanted this one to work out. For the first time, I wasn’t afraid of the possibility that this could be something.”
“So, let’s recap. Bree’s ex showed up unannounced at her door, asked her to come home, and Bree responded by walking out on her. Yes? Is that about the gist of it?”
“Well, you forgot the part where Bree jumped into her arms and kissed her. But yes, basically.”
“Right. So she told you that she kissed her, then walked out on her. And she offered to sign the papers in front of you to prove it?”
“Yes.” She chose me.
“Why do you think she told you all of that? I mean really? If she was going to take her ex-wife back and move away, wouldn’t she have just said that instead of telling you every detail?”
Carson had never imagined that she would find someone she cared for as much as she did Bree. She had never wanted to. Yet there she was, hoping that Bree meant what she said, while the thought of losing her scared Carson beyond words. If tomorrow Bree decided to go back to Marion it would kill her, but she would not regret the days and moments that she’d spent with Bree. “I’d do anything for her, but how do I just let her go?”
“If she wanted to go, she’d already be gone, Carson.”
While they were at a traffic light, Carson’s phone vibrated and she reached into her front pocket to grab it. She held her breath as her heart raced. She took a deep breath before she looked at the screen.
I need you to come away with me this weekend. Please. -B
“I take it by the smile on your face that it wasn’t a text telling you she was moving to San Diego?” Kelli smiled as she turned to face forward.
Carson read it to herself ten times more before she read it aloud to Kelli.
“Yes. Say yes!” Kelli reached out for Carson’s phone. “Give it to me. I’ll say yes.”
Carson pulled her phone against her chest. “I can do it.” There was no other answer that Carson would’ve given except for yes. Carson took a deep breath and replied.
I can think of nothing else I’d rather do -C.
I’m sorry. I miss you. XOXO -B
Carson’s stomach filled with butterflies. She couldn’t have been happier to know that Bree was not only thinking about her but that she missed her.
I miss you, too, sweetheart. See you soon. -C
*
“So, how are things going between you and Barbara? Huh, stud muffin?” Carson slugged Jim in the arm and made exaggerated winking faces at him.
“You know, I don’t think I approve of my daughter dating someone so…immature.”
Carson’s mouth dropped open and then clapped shut. “Fine, then we will run away together, like Romeo and Juliet.”
“Uh, you do realize that they both die in that story, right?”
“Oh, right. Hey, this isn’t about me. This is about you and your lovely lady. How are things?”
“It’s great, Car. She’s an amazing woman. I think about her every moment we’re apart. She’s funny and smart and I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to take this step. And damn is she sexy.”
“Have you…” Carson made with the winks again.
“Stop that. No, we haven’t. And you know, I’m not asking you the same question because I know your answer is also no.”
“But—”
“No. The answer you tell your girlfriend’s father is always no, right?”
“Right. No.” Carson laughed, but she knew he was dead serious. They talked about everything, but sex with his daughter was not one of those things, and she was okay with that.
“So, besides that, how are things with the two of you?” Carson started to smile. “Have you told her about the interview in Dayton yet?”
Carson’s smiled vanished. “Nah, not yet. We just made it through the Marion thing and it’s just not the first thing on my mind each time I see her.”
“Don’t you think—”
She cut him off before he could finish. “Jim, she makes me so happy. I can see tomorrow when I look at her. I want to wake up every day and be the reason she smiles.” Carson felt it to her core. When she listened to Bree describe her dream wedding, she saw herself by her side promising forever. “I want to keep her safe and protect her but also encourage and support her. She deserves so much, and I want to give her everything she needs.”
“When is your interview?”
“Next week. I’ll talk to her after this weekend.” Carson knew in her heart that she didn’t want the job in Dayton. She also knew that Jim wanted her to be certain in her head as well. In the end, it was his duty as a father to protect Bree from hear
tache and pain. Carson loved her life in Asheville, and she had met someone she could share that life with, but he was right about making sure that she had no regrets. She had to be sure that she could offer Bree everything she deserved.
“Sooner is better than later.”
She agreed for the most part, but it just wasn’t the big deal that Jim was making it out to be. There was no sense in getting Bree worked up over something that was probably not going to matter in two weeks. And in the end, it was a decision only she had to make.
Chapter Twenty-two
Carson arrived at Bree’s house. As always, Bree felt her presence before she saw her. She looked out the window and watched Carson make her way up the steps of the front porch. Their eyes met, and Bree’s heart leapt. She knew there wasn’t another place in the world that she wanted to be at that moment except in Carson’s arms. Bree tried to wait until Carson had at least rung the doorbell, but her feet refused. She flung the door open and they stood within inches of each other and simultaneously said, “Hi.”
Bree giggled as she twisted her hands in front of her. “How are you?”
“Better, now.”
“Me, too. Are you ready to go?”
“Absolutely.”
Bree pressed the button on her remote and popped the trunk of her car. She reached inside the door for her bags, but Carson beat her to it. They both gripped the handle of Bree’s luggage and smiled as their shoulders bumped. Bree stared into Carson’s deep, soulful eyes. Her body trembled with excitement and anticipation of the days, and nights, ahead. She didn’t know who made the first move, all she knew was the feeling of serenity that swelled within her as their lips met.