The only thing I seem to be able to do, by some sort of force outside myself, is open the damn door, and let Wade Covington back into my life just when I thought he was really gone for good.
Chapter 11 – Wade
Emily looks as surprised to see me as I am that she opened the door for me.
“Thank you,” I tell her, pulling her close before she can even shut the door behind me. “I need to talk to you. I need you to hear me out.”
She looks at me skeptically. But she let me in, and she’s not immediately kicking me out. All good signs.
I shut the door and take her by the hand. I lead her over to her couch and luckily she follows me.
“I don’t know where to start,” I admit, smoothing her hair away from her eyes.
She’s so fucking beautiful.
“Start at the beginning,” she says. “Or, at the end of us, last time. I want to know why you were such a jerk.”
“Fair enough,” I tell her. “But this is hard to talk about.”
She squeezes my hand, giving me the strength to continue. I’m so glad she’s giving me the chance to explain myself, finally.
“When I was over there, the rescue helicopter we were in went down,” I tell her. “It was so scary. Everyone thought we were going to die. I was injured a bit, but nothing major. Some in our unit died. Others were severely injured. One of my friends, Harlow, was significantly injured.”
“When did this happen?” she asks, her eyes wide with shock. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I… I don’t know,” I admit. “Even though I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. I don’t have a good answer. I just went into shock. I didn’t want to deal with it, process it.”
She nods.
“I can understand that,” she says.
“I was treated for my physical injuries but I didn’t feel like I was getting any better. I had constant fear that I was going to die. I fell into a deep fucking depression. I thought life wasn’t worth living. I began to question why you even wanted to be with me.”
“Wow.”
She strokes my hand, and looks genuinely concerned.
“PTSD?” she asks.
I nod my head.
“It makes perfect sense now, but back then, I didn’t even know what it was,” I tell her. “I’d heard of it— we’d even had some training on it— but it all seemed very theoretical. I didn’t think it could actually happen to me.”
“Perfectly understandable,” she says.
Her eyes are so full of compassion that I’m wondering why I never told her until now. I suppose it made me feel too weak and vulnerable. But now I see that she could have helped me heal.
“Something in my fucked up mind told me that I wasn’t good enough for you. That I’d only drag you down. That I should be dead and that you should go on without me. I guess I just acted on those thoughts, even though they don’t make logical sense.”
“Nothing about PTSD is logical,” she says, reassuringly. “I’m no expert, but I’ve read about it for some of my classes. It’s an issue in social work. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I know,” I tell her. “The only thing I’m ashamed of is not telling you sooner. I tried to get you to talk to me when I came back but I understand why you wouldn’t. And I was still in a deep, dark place then, so it was probably for the best that we weren’t together at that time.”
I pause, realizing I just said, “at that time.” Meaning, that it’s for the best we’re together now.
“So how did you get better?” she asks.
“I had a lot of therapy. I can’t say much of it helped much, when I was still in the military. As I’m sure you’ve heard, the VA system is quite a mess. I was honorably discharged and only once I was in the private sector did I find some really good help.”
“I’m so glad you got help.”
“Me too,” I agree. “Some of it was from doctors and therapists while other help came from less traditional sources. Hypnotherapists. Natural healers. I read a lot about cognitive behavioral therapy and taught myself the tricks and tools. I even went to Native American reservation and spent time at sweat lodges and learning ancient healing practices.”
“That’s amazing that you were able to heal yourself,” she says.
Then, she looks up at me quizzically.
“Your company,” she says. “That’s what these apps are about, right? I read some of the emails. A lot of people have been really helped by them.”
“I worked with the nation’s top doctors and alternative healers to make these apps,” I tell her. “I wanted to help others the way I had been helped. I have apps for PTSD, and for all kinds of other things too.”
“I know,” she says, beaming proudly. “I read the emails. And I think it’s amazing. It could even help the foundation I’m starting as part of my social work program. There are a lot of mental health issues that keep people from achieving their full potential.”
“I’d love to help you with that,” I say. “But, you know, I’m a big bad billionaire who is too selfish and greedy with my money…”
She laughs and swats at my shoulder playfully.
“Oh stop it,” she says. “I know I was being dumb. I get it now. I get what you’re doing.”
“It’s fine,” I tell her, with a wink. Then my tone turns serious. “I know what your family went through, when your dad was defrauded like that. I understand your distrust of rich people. I should have explained earlier, but I haven’t really had a chance.”
“You should have explained a lot of things earlier…”
She trails off, looking at me, waiting for me to continue.
“That’s true.”
I sigh. It all comes down to this. Will she accept me as I am… a flawed man who managed to mostly heal himself? A father who has made bad decisions but is still glad about the outcome?
“When I came back and you didn’t want to talk to me, I did a lot of stupid things,” I admit. “One of them was having random, drunk sex with a girl I had just met.”
She recoils a bit, but doesn’t say anything for a minute.
“So that’s how you lost your virginity?” she asks.
“Yeah. Not my best move.”
She chuckles.
“Well, I figured you would have lost it before I did,” she says. “I just didn’t know it would be…”
“Like that?” I finish for her, as she trails off again.
“Yeah.”
She half chuckles again, half sighs.
“Me neither. It was a foolish decision. I tried to wear a condom but I was so shit faced I’m sure I probably put it on wrong or something. I couldn’t even believe it afterwards, and I certainly couldn’t believe it when she told me she was pregnant. She and I never even tried to have an actual relationship after that; we both knew it was just a one night stand and nothing further. We have a pretty good co-parenting relationship, which is as much as I could ask for out of this situation so I’m grateful. But it was not the most ideal way to have sex for the first time. I certainly wish it had been with you. Except then…”
Now it’s my turn to trail off.
“Then, you wouldn’t have had your daughter,” she guesses.
“Right.”
“My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me,” I tell her. “And you’re in a very close second place.”
She shakes her head while partly rolling her eyes, but I stop her.
“Seriously,” I tell her. “I haven’t known love other than with you. But I could never be here today telling you about all of this if I didn’t have my daughter. She saved my life. I wanted to be a strong man for her. And, since I’m telling you everything, part of me always hoped we’d get back together.”
“Oh yeah?”
She raises her eyebrows at me.
“I know, I know,” I tell her. “Then why did I wait for our chance meeting instead of making it happen?”
She nods.
&
nbsp; “Because I was a pussy,” I confess. “I kept telling myself you’d never forgive me. You’d never understand about my daughter. I thought for sure you’d moved on, found a good guy, gotten married. But I stalked your Facebook, and didn’t see any traces of a guy. So I had hope in the back of my mind that somehow I’d get my act together and get you back. Now that I had the opportunity, I wasn’t going to let you walk away again. I had to come tell you how I feel.”
She laughs.
“You stalked my Facebook?”
“Guilty.”
“I can’t say I didn’t try the same with you,” she says, blushing.
“But I don’t have a public Facebook page,” I tell her. “I just go by a pseudonym so I can stalk other people. I’m not sure I believe in social media.”
“Well, you sure made it a lot harder to find anything out about you,” she says, smiling.
I pull her into my lap and start kissing her.
“That’s because I needed to tell you all about it myself. Because I still love you. I always have.”
She kisses me back, with ferocious intensity, and then she says the four words I’m dying to hear:
“I still love you too.”
Chapter 12 – Emily
I love Wade too. I really do. I’ve always known it and now I’ve finally told him.
“And now, Emily, it’s time for me to take care of some unfinished business between us,” he says.
I smile at him.
“Is it, now?”
He picks me up and carries me to my bedroom. It seems effortless on his behalf, and I feel like I’m back in high school again.
Once we’re there, he slips his hand back under my skirt, just like it had been earlier.
“I need to check and see how you’re really feeling. And how much you really me to take your virginity. Because I want to make it as good for you as I possibly can.”
He inserts a finger under my panties and right into my pussy. I’m so wet that my juices slide all over his fingers.
“You really do want me to pop your cherry,” he says, as if there were any question in either of our minds. I rather like the process he’s going through, though; it makes everything seem more innocent and mysterious. “Very good. But I need to inspect you first, and make sure you have your virginity. Please remove your blouse.”
“Remove my…?”
I’m not sure how he would inspect anything up there that would confirm my virginity. But I guess we have to start somewhere. And it’s as if I’m in a trance and must obey what he says. I unbutton the front of the shirt part of the uniform and peel it off, so that I’m only wearing my bra.
“Oh, you won’t need that,” he says. “In fact, let me have it.”
I remove my bra and hand it to him. He stares at my naked breasts and then puts his hands on them.
“Large yet firm,” he says, approvingly. “Just as I remember them being.”
He takes my nipples between his fingers and rubs them, and I can’t help but let a gasp of pleasure escape my lips.
“I just want a little taste.”
He puts one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks on it.
“Oh my God,” I moan, leaning in to him, wanting him to take me right here and now.
But he backs up and gives me another command.
“And now your panties please. Hand them over.”
I reach under my skirt but he says, “No. Bend over and do it. I need to check out your ass too. I need to check out everything. It’s been far too long since I’ve seen all of you.”
I turn around and bend down, so that my ass is sticking up and out from under the skirt. He slaps my ass and then takes my ass cheeks in both of his hands. I’m incredibly turned on by the fact that I’m completely exposed to him. He can see anything he wants, and do anything he wants, too.
“Very good. This is still such a great ass. It’s so amazing.”
He holds my thong over to the side and inserts two fingers into my pussy as he keeps the other hand on my ass. He rubs his fingers back and forth and pushes them deep inside me.
“Ouch!” I cry.
“Sorry,” I immediately say, because I want him to keep doing that, but it just hurts.
“Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. With waiting for me all this time.”
He’s right. I’ve been waiting for him. That’s why I’ve never had sex with anyone else.
“You’re my little virgin, aren’t you?” he asks, rubbing his finger up and down my clit and the inner lips of my pussy, making my legs quiver.
“Yes.”
“You sure are,” he says.
He comes up close behind me… so close that I can feel his hard cock on the back of my ass and pussy.
“Now give me your panties.”
I step out of my panties and hand them to him. He puts them in his pocket, leaving my bra on the floor where it had fallen. I feel a chill of excitement running through me.
I can’t wait for him to take my virginity. I just want his fingers back in my pussy, and his cock pressing up against my ass again. I want him to make me feel like he did back in high school, and just earlier today in his office, but even better.
He puts his hands on me again and I’m so grateful I can’t help but moan.
“There you go,” he says, spreading my pussy open wide so he can see it again. “Here’s your sweet little virgin cunt. It’s all mine for the taking, finally.”
I like how he’s talking so dirty to me. It’s different than he was while we were in the office. Now that he’s finally going to pop my cherry.
“It’s all yours for the taking,” I repeat.
“What is?” he asks, in an authoritative, convincing voice.
“My sweet little virgin cunt.”
He picks me up with his strong arms and places me on the bed. He takes off his shirt to reveal his six pack abs, his completely toned pecs and tribal tattoos. He is just as sexy as I remember him being when we were younger— if not even more sexy.
He takes off his pants so that I can see his cock— as wide and long as I remember it being, and seemingly even more so. I wrap my hand around it and lick its head. Then I take it all in my mouth and suck on it. It’s been so long since my mouth was on his cock. I hope I’m doing it well enough.
“That’s it, baby. Suck my cock,” Wade says, raising his hips to thrust it deeper into my mouth.
I try not to choke as I suck his dick as hard as I can.
“You’re my dirty little virgin,” he says, as he slaps my ass and then my pussy while I play with his shaft and suck the head of his cock.
Then I move my head down to suck on his balls while he thrusts his fingers into my pussy.
“I love to feel your pussy,” he says. “It’s so nice and tight. I’m so lucky that you’re still a virgin. That you waited for me.”
He pulls my hair so that my face is shoved even further into his cock. I love how rough he’s being, how in charge and sure of himself.
He pulls his cock out of my mouth and plays with it some, slapping it on my face— but not too hard— and jerking off all over my breasts.
“I love how you sucked my cock like the slutty little virgin you are for me. It was so good I almost came. But there’s something else I need to do. It’s time now, Emily.”
He lifts me off the bed and turns me around. I nod my head to signal that I’m ready for him. Like I have been for the past five years. I’m at his command and will do whatever he tells me to do.
This is it, I think. I’m finally losing my virginity. To the love of my life.
My pussy drips with anticipation until I feel I can barely take it anymore.
He unwraps a condom and says, “I’m going to fuck your sweet little pussy now. I’m going to take your virginity, which has been mine all along.”
Once the condom is on and he’s standing behind me, I feel his large cock up against me once again.
Finally, I feel his cock enter
my pussy. It slides smoothly inside me but hits a bump and then keeps going. I let out a gasp, because it hurts, but in a good way.
“My sweet little virgin,” he says, running his hands up and down my ass and back and then squeezing my ass while he thrusts his cock in and out of my pussy. “This is what I’ve been wanting to do to you for so long.”
“I’ve been wanting it too,” I tell him.
I lean back and relax as I gyrate against his cock inside my pussy. I feel so amazingly good I can hardly stand it.
“Oh, my God, Wade, I’m coming,” I cry out, as I come all over.
It feels so good that I feel like I might fall over. He steadies me with his arms and says, “Come on my cock, Emily. Come as much as you want.”
I grind my pussy against his cock while he pumps it in and out of me until I finish coming.
“This feels so good, Emily,” he says. “This feels even better than I thought it would.”
He’s grunting now as he thrusts his cock deeper into my pussy. I feel a pulsing sensation that drives me to ecstasy again. I hear him say, “I’m going to come, Emily,” and at the same time, I tell him, “I’m coming again. I’m coming on your cock.”
We reach climax at the same time. I look back and up into his eyes and I’m met with him staring back down at me.
“This is amazing,” he says. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I tell him, leaning back into his muscular chest and resting my head on h is broad shoulder. “I love you so much.”
“That’s good,” he says. “Because you’re all mine. I claimed you the way I should have a long time ago. All your curves and your entire voluptuous body are mine and only mine.”
“I want to be yours,” I tell him, feeling my pussy dripping wet, aching and throbbing from the pleasure he just gave me. “I want to be with you for good.”
“That’s good,” he says, as he spins me around and keeps looking at me. “Because there’s one more thing that I forgot to tell you.”
“What’s that?” I ask him.
“Well, I think it was pretty obvious that I wasn’t expecting my daughter to come to the office today, nor her mother either,” he says.
I nod, and gulp, wondering what he’s going to say next.
First Comes Love Page 80