The subject of my thoughts, and cause of my squeak, sat nonchalantly behind my desk, feet up, and phone on his ear. He smiled when he saw me.
“Call Roman or Marco if something comes up. I don't want to be disturbed. Short of something erupting in flames, you will not call me, got it?”
I closed the door and crossed my arms as he finished.
“Making yourself at home?”
He gave me his flirtatious smile and got up. I rolled my eyes, hung up my doctor’s coat, and grabbed my purse.
“I was waiting on my caramel sugar.”
I erupted in laughter. “God, you're cheesy.”
He inclined his head as if I had complimented him.
“It wasn't a compliment.”
He smiled and prowled towards me. “What's up with you?”
“Let's go to dinner? I'm hungry, but I don't even know if I even have enough energy to eat. Besides, I'm tired. Rough, weird day.”
He nuzzled my nose with his.
“Calendar clear?”
I pulled back. “How do you know?”
“Surprise.”
“What did you do?”
“You mean, what did I, Izzy, Marcie, and Luis do?”
I groaned.
“Both of our calendars have been cleared for a week.”
“What did you do?”
He smiled. “I just told you. Weren't you listening?”
He laughed when I groaned.
“Can't you just leap without looking for once, Cari?”
When he said my name with the Spanish inflection- Kah-ree instead of care-rhee- it stirred my heart.
Among other parts of my body.
“I've never had the luxury.”
His head came closer to mine.
“I'm going to give you that luxury, mi caramelo.”
I snickered. I couldn't help it. I always did when he called me that.
“Let me, Cari. Let me be your net. I'll catch you, baby. I promise.”
My eyes caught on his and he wouldn't let them go.
“I'll never let you fall.”
Could I?
I guarded my heart from everything that could hurt it. I was like Iza. Actually, I was like she used to be, before she’d met Roman.
I’d had a difficult childhood. I didn't have anyone to turn to after the death of my mother except eventually for Chris.
And when Chris died, the remaining sunlight in my sky vanished.
It confirmed my ongoing thoughts that life was unfair.
Life had taken away my mother and brother.
Life was cruel.
Until one night, at a bar, when I saw the most mesmerizing and electrifying blue eyes I'd ever seen.
Carlos had never done anything bad to me.
Shouldn't everyone get at least one chance?
Could I handle being hurt? Have my heart ripped out of my chest? Lose another person I cared deeply for and try to breathe after that?
“I'll always be here to catch you, for as long as you want me to.”
His thumb caressed my cheek and his eyes delved deeply into mine. The tenderness and promise I saw in them had me nodding my head. Slowly, his dazzling smile spread across his cheeks.
It was infectious.
My lips began stretching, too.
Carlos moved closer and captured my lips in a tender kiss.
“What did you plan?”
His smile appeared again.
“A surprise. You don't need to pack. You don't need anything. It's all been taken care of.”
He was leading me out of my office. His hand switched the light off and he closed the door behind us.
“My patients-”
“Coverage has been secured. They will be in good hands.”
“Dr. Leideman?”
He laughed. “Yes.”
I exhaled. She was the best. If I couldn't be there for them, I wanted Beth to be.
“How?”
“It was a group effort. Nothing short of a miracle. For you to take even a day off requires an act of Congress.”
I laughed. “Now you know why I haven't taken a vacation in five years.”
He stopped and looked down at me. “That stops now, Cari. For you to be any good to your patients, you need to recharge your batteries.”
“Is that what this is for?”
He smirked. “Oh, yea, baby,” he said, leading us out of the building. “I'm going to plug you up and reenergize you.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the laughter bubbling out of me.
“I think you forgot about your chastity vow.”
He snorted. I knew he hated my pet names for his forced celibacy.
“We’ll have fun without sex.”
It was my turn to laugh.
“If you say so.”
17
Carlos
First Time,
Lifehouse
“A helicopter? Couldn't find a flight?”
I hugged her from behind as we stood next to my car.
“Why bother with flights, schedules, checking in luggage, and all those useless wastes of time?”
She laughed. “You travel in style, eh?”
I kissed her neck. “Always.”
I grabbed her by the hand and led her to the copter.
“I really wish you would've let me pack something.”
She rubbed her hands on her thighs as we stood next to it. I turned her to face me and gently took her nervous hands.
“Everything’s been taken care of. Izzy told me your sizes and also helped pack. Your clothes have been shopped for, too. You're good.” I squeezed her hands. “We’re good.”
“How safe is this?”
I kissed her forehead as I turned her towards the Zambrano family copter.
“It's going to be ok.”
I nodded to the pilot and climbed in. Turning back, I helped her up. She looked around as if in a daze, so I began buckling her in.
“Thank you.”
My eyes found hers and then moved to her lips. I was just an inch away.
I kissed her.
“My pleasure,” I murmured and buckled myself in.
It had been hard not having sex- literally and metaphorically speaking- but this issue was important. We didn't even bring each other orgasms in other ways. It was strictly kissing. Yea, while movies have completely made it cliche to say that kissing is more intimate than sex, there is truth to it. That was the only thing I'd allow. I tried to promote other methods of connecting ourselves and increasing intimacy. We held hands. We kissed, Frenching when things grew hot. She wouldn't allow us to bathe together, so that wasn't an option.
I still didn't know what she was hiding on her body. It was rare that she would let my hands wander to her right side. The area was pretty large, I think. From her hip to just below her breast, on the right side of her body. The few times I had managed to hold her there, I felt small bumps.
But one mountain at a time was all we could climb.
I gave her a headset to reduce the noise and still allow us to talk. I put on mine as she put on hers. Cari’s right hand immediately gripped my forearm as we ascended. I looked at her.
“It's ok, caramelo. Enjoy the ride and the view.”
She studied me a moment and smiled. Nodding her head, she looked out when I started speaking.
“The water is beautiful and clear.”
“Short trip that can be made from a helicopter. Clear waters.” She looked at me. “We’re vacationing in the Caribbean.”
I smiled at her. “Inteligente. Yes. We are. But that's just the beginning.”
Her eyebrows rose and she turned to look back below.
About ten minutes later, Cari’s reaction to my yacht was hilarious. Like my other brothers, I too, liked my toys.
“This is enormous.”
I laughed.
“So was the waiting list I skipped to get it. I'm good friends with the son of the CEO whose company built it.”
That translated to Soul of the Sea.
“Beautiful name.”
I squeezed her hand.
“We're landing on it?”
She looked up at me, anxious eyes focusing on mine.
Nodding, I said, “Yes. It has a helipad.”
“I knew your family was wealthy. But this much?”
Her troubled eyes looked below as we approached closer.
“Don't look so worried, caramelo. Remember, we have many legitimate businesses. We're all good businessmen. Made sound investments. Built enterprises and companies. This one was my baby.”
She looked up at me. “I didn't mean to imply-”
“It's ok, carita.” It literally meant little face, but it was intended as a playful form of her nickname. “I understand. But you have a right to know who I am and where I come from.”
Something was in her eyes but her focus left me.
“Are they, and their weapons, necessary?”
There were six guards visible, never mind the ones who were not.
“For safety. Mine?” I shrugged, “I can hold my own. Yours? Abso-fucking-lutely.”
She looked down and watched them. I knew she was taking in their defensive postures with Uzis, AK-47s, and AR-15s in their hands, as smaller handguns and weapons were strapped onto their bodies along with Kevlars. Since we’d met Shadow and saw their talents, we've slowly been integrating them into the family’s safety precautions. If it hadn't been for Shadow, God only knows what would've happened to Izzy when she was kidnapped. That ex-military soldier was rock solid and so was his crew.
“What about yours?”
I smiled, bringing her hand to my lips. “I can take of myself, Cari. You,” my palm cupped her cheek, “are someone I will not put in danger.” I kissed her palm. “I will protect you with my life, and still if I die, I'll appeal to God to bring me back me so that I can return and die again for you.”
She surprised me. I'd expected a sarcastic retort but instead, her eyes were soft as they looked at me.
Her breath had caught. She brought her palm up to my check and I smiled, leaning in to kiss her.
“You're so unexpected. So much more than I thought.” Her voice was soft and low. Her eyes were warm and intense.
I kissed her again, awkwardly with the headsets on.
“Let's be fair and honest. How much could you expect from a one-night stand?”
She laughed and I took her in, loving that her guard was down. This gift she gave me, seeing her true self without defensive walls up, was something to treasure.
I'd nurture it and protect it.
It was like she flipped a switch. Or maybe it was that she was away from chaos and work, and she was able to relax. Whatever it was, I loved it.
She gripped my hands as we slowly landed.
“Oh my god.”
I laughed. How could I not? It was like experiencing this luxury for the first time as I looked at her face. When we landed, she exhaled.
“See. Easier than checking luggage and taking off in a tube with fifty other people, and catapulting through the air, right?”
She nodded, laughing. I helped her down and together we walked inside Alma.
“How big is this yacht?”
“One-hundred-and-sixty feet. It has to be at least forty-five meters, about one-hundred-and-fifty feet, for a helipad. It also has a drive-in tender bay garage for the security of moving in and out in smaller boats and jet skis. Five suites plus the master multi-level retreat. A pool and jacuzzi, movie room, full gourmet kitchen, sauna, and gym. There's a track that runs around the deck for running. There's a rock wall for climbing. I won't go into all of the safety features.”
“Wow. Ok.”
She turned slowly, eyeing the deck that led to the second floor of the living area.
“Ready? I'll give you the nickel tour.”
She nodded and her warm hand enveloped mine.
It would be a vacation we'd never forget.
18
Cari
Live in the Moment,
Portugal, The Man
For the first time in my life, I decided to just leap.
To close my eyes.
Steeple my arms over my head.
And dive headfirst into the unknown.
It was scary.
But…
It was fabulous.
And…
It was freeing.
I decided when we left my office, that I would embrace this experience. I would try not to keep building my walls as our relationship evolved. I would not use humor and sarcasm to avoid emotions.
I was trying. I didn't know if I would succeed, but at least I was making an effort.
The first day, Carlos had given me a tour of the super yacht and it had left me floored. Luxury was a word that did not do justice to Alma del Mar.
He took me to every room. The living room was two stories. The master retreat was self-contained four stories with its own kitchen- somewhere you could literally live if by some chance you'd invited people onto your ship that you didn't particularly like or want to socialize with.
I had looked at the enormous bed and mourned that it would remain unused for anything other than sleeping. My poker face must have fallen, a rarity, because Carlos had laughed.
“It's comfy.”
My eyes turned up to his and his smile had widened.
The bed was bigger than a king.
There was a whole wall of accordion sliding glass doors that opened fully to allow the sea breeze in. The soft, wispy sheer sheets billowed lightly like waves of white.
Carlos had introduced me to the crew. The yacht had a permanent staff of thirteen, not counting the guards. All of the crew members were trained in security, fighting, and shooting. Effectively, with the six visible guards, six hidden guards, and crew of thirteen, Alma del Mar had twenty-five aboard without us being counted. They had their own quarters below deck.
I met Captain Bradshaw, a former Navy Commander. He was a serious man, but friendly enough.
On our first day, Carlos took me fishing. We’d boarded a smaller boat, Sal de Mar, which had blown my mind that he had smaller boats aboard. It was just us and we weren't too far away from Alma, so no extra security was needed with us.
“I’m not bating the hook.”
I was wearing short white shorts over my colorful one-piece swimsuit, and slim sandals, while he wore only swim trunks.
Delicious.
His body was pure muscle, tan, and big.
I missed having sex with him.
So bad.
Carlos looked over at me and laughed at what I imagine was a disgusted look on my face. He held up a wiggly worm.
“Dr. Caridad Zavala, you mean to tell me you've gone through medical school and cut cadavers, and you've worked with patients requiring gruesome procedures during rotations, but you're too squeamish to bait a hook?”
I uncrossed my arms, gripped the side of the boat, and laughed harder than I had in a very long time. I looked at him and he was grinning.
“Did I get that right?”
I nodded. “We all have our limits.”
His smirk widened and he began walking towards me with the wiggling worm.
I held my hand up. “Stop.”
He didn't.
“STOP!”
His eyes sparkled.
“Carlos!!!”
I ran to the other side of the boat and he came up behind me, arm swiveling me around. He hugged me close and brought the worm up to my face.
I screamed.
“Get it away!!!”
His laugh was loud and deep. Carlos threw the worm overboard, kissed my neck, and devoured my mouth. He agreed to hook my worms for me and we happily fished. We stayed there for the whole day.
That night, we sat watching the sunset on the smaller watercraft. Although at fifty feet, it was hardly tiny. As the sun neared the horizon, he took my dri
nk and his, and set them down. Taking my hand, he stood me up and we walked over to the open area. My phone had been playing my easy-going playlist.
Carlos grabbed my hand, and moved it around his neck. Dan + Shay’s Tequila came on and we slow danced to the setting sun.
I loved this slow, sensual song. Our bodies moved together organically and in sync.
And the sun set on a perfect day with him.
It was the day after next when things got somewhat awkward. We'd been on the yacht for three days.
I felt his arms snake around me from behind while I stood on the deck. His lips were on my neck, where it met my shoulder.
“I never knew suntan lotion could smell so good until it was spread on your skin.”
I laughed, continuing to look out into the glimmering cerulean sea. It was a bit choppy today, and it looked like snow caps on the waves as it moved. The salty breezy cleared my lungs.
“It's beautiful here. I love it.”
He kissed me again and I turned in his arms. My fingers played with the hair at his nape.
“You're beautiful, Caridad.”
I laughed and shook my head. His fingers gently forced my gaze to his intense ones.
“You are an amazing woman.”
My heart began beating faster. I didn't do well with these types of situations.
But I said in the beginning of this adventure that I would try.
“Intelligent.”
I felt my hands begin to sweat, though.
“Giving.” He kissed my lips.
I held my breath.
“Sexy.” He nuzzled his nose on my neck.
“Amazing.”
It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for him.
I did.
Too many.
They made me want to run…
Away.
“I lo-”
My hands spanned his cheeks and I kissed him deeply. I jumped up, wrapped my legs around his torso, and boosted myself up until I was taller than him.
My lips feasted on his in an effort to stop those three little words normal, uncomplicated women wanted to hear.
I didn't.
Rather, I couldn't.
The fear.
The pain.
The vulnerability.
I can't.
Carlos: A Zambrano Family Novel Page 10