My eyes began to water as I looked at him- the man who I was afraid to love.
“For what?”
My voice broke. “Everything.”
His eyes were glassy as he looked at me.
“God, baby.”
He walked to me and hugged me. My hug was tight, too afraid that if it wasn't, he'd disappear.
“You don't have to apologize.”
His understanding made me cry more.
“Why aren't you mad at me!” I stepped back. “Scream at me.”
“And say what, caramelo?”
“That I fucked up. That I'm a scared woman who runs from problems rather than face them head on!”
He stood unmoving, looking down at me. His eyes were soft in understanding and pain.
“And what would that accomplish, baby? Cause you more pain? More guilt?”
“It's what I am. It's what I deserve.”
He shook his head.
“I don't see that. I see a woman who’s overcome adversity and tragedy, to become a successful doctor who helps her patients selflessly. I see a woman with a loving heart who is tender, caring, and beautiful. I see a woman who is so afraid to love and lose that she cocoons herself from others.”
He shook his head again, his eyes sad.
“I will not cause you further pain, Caridad. I love you, baby. I want to be here to lift you up, not force you down.”
“I don't deserve you.”
His hands framed my face. “It's me who doesn't deserve you, but I don't care. You're mine, Caridad. And I'm yours. As long as there's breath in this body, I’ll love and protect you. I should've fought harder for you to stay, but I knew you weren’t in the frame of mind to listen. I let you go, hoping that after some time, we’d come back together.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “My brothers kicked my ass and threatened me so that I would go to you sooner. I suppose tonight, even with how awful it was for you, was a blessing for us.”
Our eyes remained in each other's tight grip and spoke to each other what our mouths did not.
Then it was like a stretchy string that had been pulled too far from its winding encasement.
We snapped together as if pulled by one another- as if our natural state was to be beside each other and not stretched apart.
Our mouths made love before we gave our bodies the opportunity to.
Don't Give Up On Me, Andy Grammer
45
Carlos
Lips On You,
Maroon 5
Our lips were devouring each other as our hands roamed like slithering snakes on a field of grass.
“I need you.”
My voice was unrecognizable. The absence of her in my life for nearly three weeks had eaten away at me.
“I need you, too, now. And always.”
She paused and framed my face with her delicate palms.
“I give myself to you, all of myself. You can have me, all of me. If you want me. I won't hide from you anymore. I won't run from you anymore. I love you.”
My heart sped up at her words as my dick hardened more than I thought it could.
I wanted to consume this woman. She was in my blood and coursed through my veins with lightning fire.
“I'm never letting you go.”
“Don't,” she said softly.
I picked her up and carried her . Throwing her on top of the bed, she bounced with a smile on her face.
There wasn't one on mine.
The intensity of my feelings and desire were causing me to incinerate.
“Take your clothes off.”
The smile she had slowly melted into a heated look that drove me crazy. She hurriedly took her clothes off as I did mine. The jerky movements of my arms almost shredded my clothes apart. Once I was naked, I saw her eyes travel down my body, their path searing heat across my skin.
“Like what you see?”
Her eyes snapped up to mine. She nodded and crawled on the mattress towards me where I stood.
Her hand grabbed my cock and I moaned.
“Fuck, Caridad. Three weeks was too long to go without you baby.”
She leaned down and took me into her mouth.
I shouted out with a curse. My hands flew to her head.
This wasn't going to be a tender night.
This was going to be a series of hardcore fucks until my body claimed hers in the most magnificent and primitive of ways.
Until it was satiated.
Until we'd made up for that lost time.
“I can't, won't, be gentle and slow tonight, baby. It's been too long. I need you now, in every fucking way. Hard. Fast. Deep. Tight. Wet.”
Her eyes looked up at me, her mouth wide with me in it. She moaned and I saw more passion gloss over and haze her eyes.
“Fuck, you're so sexy.”
I felt her mouth suck me tighter and I bellowed.
“Fuck!”
She took me to the back of her throat and moved me out again. My knees were on the verge of collapsing from the most amazing blow job of my life.
“I'm going to come, move back.”
She moaned and sucked me harder. Her fingers played with my balls and that was it.
I shot a hard load into her mouth grunting like an animal. The come came from my goddamned soul.
I let out a loud groan looking up to the ceiling and then down at her. Her eyes looked up at me.
“Fuck…fuck.”
It was all I could say as I caught my breath. After another minute, I was able to form other words and thoughts.
“Get on your back. I'm going to eat you the fuck out.”
Like the sexy cat that she was, she moved back never breaking eye contact. I prowled towards her and settled between her sexy-as-fuck thighs. Her core glistened like dew.
God, her fucking smell was driving me crazy.
“Gorgeous. Juicy.”
I looked up at her.
“I'm going to feast on you.”
She released a shaky moan.
I moved forward, breathed her scent in, and as my goddamn dick hardened at the sight and smell of her, I licked her from bottom to clit.
Her back bowed and her hands flew to my head.
“Carlos!!”
I grunted like a feral panther with his female. A fucking tornado wouldn't rip me away from her now.
My lips latched onto her clit and I pulled hard flicking my tongue over her nub. Her bottom lifted off the bed as she shouted my name from her soul.
Growling, I clamped my arm across her hips to keep her steady on the bed.
“Oh. My. God.”
I stabbed my tongue into her pussy as my thumb flicked her clit. Her cries were deafening and so fucking hot. They'd hardened my dick to concrete. I felt her begin to tighten. My arm firmed up over her to keep her still.
“Fuck!”
One, two, three flicks with my thumb and tongue and she screamed out her release as I licked her through her spasms.
“Oh, God. Uhh.”
As her spasms died down, I climbed up her body, my lips leaving a trail of her juices and my saliva, and looked down at her.
I was beyond calming at this point. If I didn't fuck her I was going to lose my fucking mind.
Slap the straight jacket on.
But only after I've had my fill of my woman.
I'd never been so fucking turned on than I was at that moment.
“God didn't make you cum. I did. You to scream my name.”
She let out a throaty whine as she caught her breath.
I dove down and crushed my mouth to hers not giving her a chance to breathe. We both groaned and tangled our tongues together. Teeth were biting and I was pretty sure I tasted blood but neither of us cared.
I lined my cock up to her entrance and plunged in until I felt her cervix. She turned her head away from me and shouted. Her cries were music to my ears.
“Don't go slow.”
My fingers took her chin and tur
ned her face towards me again. Our eyes locked.
“I don't think I could go slow if you asked me to. I need you. Now. In every fucking way. Again. And again.”
I felt her pussy clench at my words.
“Yes,” was what she said and I began plunging into her.
It was going to be a long, pleasurable night.
46
Cari
“You think you can swing by? My patient will be here and it would be nice to get your opinion, too. He traveled from Colombia. His case looks borderline and it's second cancer.”
Oh, right. I’d read his chart after I broke up with Carlos.
“Yea. I forgot to tell you that I'd looked over his chart. Coincidentally, I'm headed to the hospital now. Refresh my memory while I'm on my way.”
“Thirty-seven year old male. Twelve years ago, he was successfully treated for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Been healthy since. Six months ago, he began feeling unusual and extreme fatigue. Felt unusual pain, like he couldn't pinpoint where. My guess is that it was bone pain. A month or two later, he noticed easy bruising and abnormal bleeding from small cuts. They ran the tests and the biopsy returned positive for AML. They removed some of his bone marrow before treating it aggressively with chemo.”
“Why come to the States?”
She laughed. “To get a second opinion from World Renown Hematologist-Oncologist, Caridad Zavala.”
I laughed. It was rare that I treated organ and solid-mass cancer, but I'd done it for Alejandro. My passion was hematology oncology.
“Keep feeding my ego.”
“What ego? You have none and you should. You should also demand that the practice double your salary.”
I shook my head as if she'd be able to see it.
“I do it for the patients, not the money.”
She mimicked me as I said the words making me chuckle.
“So if he was here to see me, why didn't I? Ahhh. My damn schedule.”
She chuckled again.
“Actually, they knew about the practice and our reputation with treatment, but didn’t mention a particular doc. The scheduler tried to place him with you, but you were too booked. I was runner-up. Truth be told, I don’t think he has the time to wait for you, but since you and I are colleagues, bonus for him. Two-for-one.”
“So he underwent harvesting of his bone marrow, and is being treated aggressively with chemo. If it works as it should, the autologous stem cell transplant should hopefully take, and he’ll be in remission. Why would he come here?”
“He wants the best. And there are no matches in their system for a BMT. He came here hoping there was one in case the autologous transplantation doesn't work.”
“Any matches in our local bank?”
“One. Perfect histocompatible match. Higher than typical compatibility, which is pretty amazing. My PA is bringing over the file from the hospital’s local registry.”
I was taken aback. “If he had a sibling, and I'm guessing that's the case since the match is strong, why not just have the sibling wait post-chemo?”
“He's an only child. No siblings.”
I was stunned silent for a moment. Sure matches happened between non-relatives, but Beth said it was a strong match. Between non-relatives?
“Still there?” She snickered.
“Struck silent.”
“I know. We see this in med books. It's a gift to encounter this scenario in practice. I've never seen the data and compatibility this high between non-relatives.”
“When's the appointment?”
“In thirty.”
“Gotcha. I'll be there.”
We hung up and I continued my drive. I was happier than I'd been in weeks. It had been a week since Carlos and I had reconciled.
And boy had we made up, literally, for lost time.
There wasn't a magical cure. I'm not all of a sudden over my irrational fears and anxiety. They would always be there.
But I would learn to cope.
I was going to continue to see my therapist. I wouldn't destroy what I had with the people I loved all because I was afraid to lose them.
I would overcome this.
No matter how long it took me.
Until then, I was going to enjoy every minute, every moment, with my love.
Finally arriving at the medical building of the hospital, I parked and headed in. Waving to those who greeted me, I walked to Beth’s office and knocked.
“Come in.”
I walked in and saw Beth half sitting on the edge of her desk, with a man sitting in the chair next to her. Like me, she was a patient’s doctor, not an uptight one with a poor bedside manner.
“Emiliano, this is Dr. Zavala.”
He turned his head to me and stood to give me his hand but stopped midway. His dark eyes looked at me curiously.
“Hello, nice to meet you,” I politely said.
An awkward silence settled before he snapped out of it.
My eyes were riveted on his face.
“My apologies, Dr. Zavala. You look familiar.”
I smiled, nodding. A felt a familiarity with him, too. “I seem to be having that same feeling. Have you been to the States before now?”
“Only as a child. Have you ever been to Colombia?”
I shook my head. “No.”
We paused, continuing to look curiously at the other, when he spoke again.
“Thank you for meeting with me. Not only were you recently recommended to my father but we had already traveled here to consult with your office.”
Beth walked to the door. “Why don't we move to one of our conference rooms. Once your father returns, it'll be a bit tight in here.”
I saw Emiliano stand carefully. His coloring was dark- eyes and hair, and his skin was tanned, but he did have a paleness about him. His eyes were tired. The way he rose from the chair reflected fatigue.
Poor man.
We walked down the hall. Beth and I worked for the same practice and we consulted quite a bit with one another.
“Do you have any siblings, Emiliano?”
He shook his head. “No. It's always been my father and I.”
Beth and I shared a look. Emiliano looked between us.
“Why?”
“There was a match in our system. A strong match. One that a sibling would have.”
His eyes widened. “I'm an only child.”
Beth looked at her Apple Watch when it chimed and looked at me.
“My PA has the file. Give me a sec and I'll be back.”
After she left, we looked at one another again, that familiarity settling over me.
I guess we could make small talk to dispel some of this awkwardness.
“So, you were born here?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
We continued to exchange pleasantries.
47
Carlos
I had a bouquet of flowers and was surprising Cari with dinner plans.
If only I could find her.
When I’d called her practice, they'd said she was in a consultation but she wasn't in her office when I’d checked, and I couldn't exactly call her. I returned to the first floor lobby to figure out what to do next. I'd be interrupting her if I called her, and I didn't exactly want to tip her off to my surprise.
She wouldn't answer if she didn't want to be interrupted, though, so I just decided to call.
“Hey babe. You going to be done soon?” I asked when she picked up.
“I’m waiting for one more person to come for the consult. Why? What's up?”
“I miss you. Where are you?”
I could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “Not in my office but in the conference room with Beth. I have ten minutes before the appointment begins. Something wrong?”
“No. I just missed you. Needed to hear your voice.”
“It shouldn't take too long. Maybe a half hour? Wait for me? We can meet up.”
“Caramelo, I’ll always wait for you.”
<
br /> Her sultry laugh was hardening my dick. “Love you.”
“Love you, baby.”
I ended the call and jogged to the elevator again. I could make it to her in two minutes. Then I'll surprise her, wait for her to be done, and we’d go to dinner.
As I stepped off the elevator, I came face-to-face with Tomás.
“Good to see you, Carlos.”
“Same here, Tomás.”
We shook hands.
Pop had told us that when he, Mamá, and Marco had come from Cuba, there were two families who'd helped them- Jenny’s and Tomás’. They'd helped my parents with necessities, and shown them the ropes of their new country. Tomás had had a young son, Emiliano, with his wife. Pop said he'd met the wife only once.
Pop had begun working his ass off and amassing his territory. From one day to the next, Tomás and his family were here and then they weren't, Pop had said. Pop had offered to help him with whatever problem he had, but Tomás had told him that they needed to leave the country.
Pop said he'd never heard from them after that. It had saddened him to lose their friendship, and Pop thought that whatever had caused them to leave, had been serious.
What had mattered to my brothers and I was that Pop had called him a friend, and that when my parents needed help, Tomás and his family had been there for them.
That was enough for us.
“Looks like we're going in the same direction.”
“Dr. Leideman’s office?”
“Yes, actually. My girlfriend is consulting.” I cocked my head to the side. “She mentioned it was a special consultation that Beth had asked her for.”
His eyebrows furled. “Dr. Leideman mentioned that she'd asked Dr. Zavala to come in on the consultation. From what I understand, the wait to see Dr. Zavala was too long for Emiliano.”
“Cari hates that and tries her best, and makes exceptions when needed. My father or I could've spoken to her for you, though.”
Eyes widened, he asked, “She’s your girlfriend?”
Couldn't help the puff of my chest or the shit-eating grin on my face. Tomás laughed and slapped my back.
“No need to say anything. If she makes you feel like that, she's a good woman.”
Carlos: A Zambrano Family Novel Page 22