by Holley Trent
Kevin looked on, so she didn’t stop and start like she might have. She kept that car moving and hoped a big truck didn’t T-bone her before she had a chance to look both ways and didn’t draw in another breath until she shifted into drive and was on her way to Shora.
Fuck. She pounded the steering wheel and growled through clenched teeth.
She didn’t know what had gotten into her to make her tell that kid her business like that. He’d just made her so angry, and she had no patience for entitled kids who got by without having any real struggles.
“So your Daddy worked a lot. Big fuckin’ deal, kid. Sounds like a good problem to have.”
She got her phone attached to the car’s speaker system and had it dial Carine.
“Yes, darling?” she answered.
“I’m on my way to Shora. Is Theodore there? He sometimes shows up early so he can snoop when the project manager isn’t around.”
“Nope, not here yet. I talked to his secretary about half an hour ago about some other stuff, though, and she happened to tell me he was barely on his way. He’d just left. You’ve got some time. Where’d you go?”
“I had to drop something off at Tim’s house. I’ll be back in Shora in thirty minutes or so.”
“You went all the way to Tim’s when he wasn’t there? Sounds like a waste.”
“Tim would probably think so.” Especially since Valerie hadn’t left him the gift of a particular aroma on his pillow.
“Uh-oh. What happened this weekend?”
“Nothing. And why should I tell you anything when no one will tell me what happened with Leah.”
“Maybe you should ask her,” Carine retorted.
“Maybe I will.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t tell me what happened with Tim.”
“Nothing happened. We went out on his boat and headed back when we found out Leah had gone home.”
“Really? So, you just sat on the deck and stared at each other for two days?”
“I don’t remember there being much staring happening.”
“Why, because you were fucking? That would make staring hard unless there’s a mirror in play. Oh, God. Was there a mirror?”
“Carine!” Valerie gaped. The woman had even less of a filter than Valerie had thought, and her estimation of it had already been pretty low.
“I told you I’m living vicariously through some of you. Throw me a bone here.”
“Can you really not find a nice guy to slap your ass and pull your hair? Is that what this is about?”
“I’m certain I could. Hell, if push came to shove, I could probably let Frank or Hal do the honors.”
Valerie very nearly steered her car off the road in thinking about those two boorish contractors trying to get bossy in the bedroom. “So, what’s the problem? I think you were going to tell me the night your mother was watching Top Gun.”
“Well, it’s simple, I guess. I don’t want to separate the kinky stuff from the relationship stuff, and the kinky stuff I like isn’t exactly easy to come by.”
“What kind of kinky stuff?”
“Oh, you know. The usual kind.”
“Uh, no. The usual kind is easy enough to come by. They grow on trees around here I had a boat-building country boy dom fall right onto my lap.”
“Then obviously you haven’t spent enough time with him if you think Tim’s the usual kind. He must be holding back. Hmm. Anyway…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Not my business. And if you don’t want to talk, neither do I.”
Valerie growled and steered her car onto the highway entry ramp. “I’m not the one who didn’t want to talk. That was you being coy about Leah.”
“All I said was that you should ask her if you really want to know what she was up to.”
“I just want to know if who she was playing with is trustworthy in your opinion. Leah’s not always the best at making those judgments.”
“Oh, Well, yeah. Totally trustworthy.”
“Are you sure?” Carine had made the proclamation so quickly that Valerie shouldn’t have read any doubt in her words, but she had to know for certain that Leah hadn’t gotten in over her head.
“Positive. I think, for a first-timer, she couldn’t have done any better. She was well taken care of.”
“That’s good. So when I call her now, I can sound less accusatory in my questioning.”
“Why would you sound accusatory in the first place? She’s a grown woman, and if she needs to make some mistakes, stay out of her way and let her do it.”
“You know who else is grown?”
“Who?”
“Kevin Dowd. I just met the lad. Ray of sunshine, he is.”
“Oh. Shit. That’s right, they moved his house arrest over to Tim’s yesterday.”
“First of all, why do you know that? Second of all, why didn’t you tell me Tim had a jerk for a kid?”
“First of all, I’m a native. I have a finger on the pulse of everything that matters around here. Second of all, I told Tim myself he should probably keep some things under wraps so he didn’t scare you off.”
Valerie scoffed. “That doesn’t matter now. I managed to walk away from Tim. I’m glad to have decided to cool things off before I was introduced to his disrespectful spawn.”
“Umm…well, let’s not be hasty here. You know, most of us just ignore Kevin’s antics. There’s nothing Tim could have done differently with him, and we keep telling him that, but I could see how he would be too much for a romantic interest of Tim’s.”
“He’s certainly a complication, but that doesn’t matter. I’m done with Tim.”
“But why? What happened?”
“Nothing. I just want to make sure I can walk away before anyone’s disappointed.” Valerie looked down and noticed she’d been white-knuckling the steering wheel. Apparently, the subject of the conversation didn’t make for peaceful driving.
“I’m sure you don’t want any unsolicited advice from me, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. I think you’re making a mistake.”
“Your opinion has been noted. And I don’t think I am. And what were you saying about Tim holding back with me? What do you know about him that I don’t?”
“Why does it matter? You don’t care.”
“I’m just curious. Are you going to tell me it’s his business and you can’t spill the secret? Spare me.”
“No, I’m not gonna tell you that. It’s not really a secret to anyone who’s been going to Clay’s for any period of time. Tim’s good. Probably the most creative user of a paddle I’ve seen. What I’m telling you is that he’s not just a dom, Val. Clay may be the King of the Filthy Freaks, but I think Tim’s tastes can run a little darker. And sometimes he…well, treats us to demonstrations.”
Valerie had to pull over onto the shoulder and make sure her phone was connected correctly to the car speakers. “He what?”
“Like I said,” Carine said lightly. “He likes you so he must be holding back.”
Valerie gave her head an incredulous shake. “I don’t believe that.”
“Why not? Because he wears khaki shorts too much? You think he’s some kind of squeamish nerd?” Carine emitted the single most inelegant snort Valerie had ever heard.
“I… Well. No,” Valerie said mulishly.
It made sense, though. It would take a master to know when to hold back. There was nothing tentative about what Tim did with Valerie. He was cautious and careful. Maybe he wasn’t too caught up in formalities, but Valerie had assumed that it was just because he wasn’t a contracts-and collars kind of dom. She’d liked his laid-back style that put her at ease so quickly, and he’d always made her feel like there was no room to disobey, and she hadn’t wanted to. She’d wanted to please him.
Valerie eased back onto the road and let out a long, ragged exhalation. “I wish you hadn’t told me that.”
“Why, because you’ve tossed him back into the sea for some bitchy, gold-digg
ing shark to discover?”
Yes.
And Valerie hated feeling like she was missing out on something that could have been amazing. She’d made her decision, though. She’d chosen success over fleeting pleasures, and she couldn’t let Tim tempt her from that.
“I can’t do this, Carine.”
“Yeah, you keep saying that, and I don’t think I’m going to convince you otherwise, so I don’t know what else I can do at this point. I will say that you’re gonna reach the top of your career—I have no doubt that’s going to happen—and you’re going to be miserable of all the things left undone. You’re going to be forty with a cold dark heart and cobwebs in your womb.”
Valerie gritted her teeth. “Mind your own womb. I can’t do it all, Carine. I can’t throw away what I’ve worked so hard for. Tim might be able to have it all. He’s a man and men aren’t the ones who make all the sacrifices. It’s us.”
“You’re breaking my heart. This is turning into one of those soap operas I can’t watch anymore because your two favorite characters obviously aren’t going to get it together and you think they’re so stupid for it.”
“I won’t bring it up again, then. Consider it dropped.”
“Fine. I’ll be at the office in Shora, by the way. I’ve got to put some paperwork together for a new construction loan.”
“You sold a lot? Really?”
“Yep.” As good as that news was, Carine wasn’t smiling.
Oh boy.
“Which one?” Valerie asked.
“Oh, one of the cheap ones near the intersection that’s going to be so busy once Phase Three is done, but the guy didn’t care. He’s buying the property for investment potential and is looking to get a second one back where the pool and playground are going to be. He’s waiting on feedback from his wife for that. She’s, like, three months pregnant and they’re motivated to get the ball rolling as quickly as possible.”
“Well, congratulations. That looks like two sales in the bag. Why so sullen?”
“Because commissions are slow things. I’ll be happy when I’m closer to payday.” Carine shrugged. “See you in a bit.”
“See you.”
Valerie disconnected and stared at the boring highway ahead. She tried not to think about much at all except that animals might scamper across the highway that she needed to be prepared to slam on brakes for, but her thoughts kept circling back around to things Carine had said about Tim.
He was just too damned interesting. She hated that he was so fascinating. Even with that rude, snot-nosed kid of his, he was still unbelievable desirable.
Gorgeous and settled. Whip-smart and possessing incredible intuition.
He knew just how to make her beg.
She wanted to beg for him.
And, surprisingly, she wanted to be that three-months-pregnant lady looking forward to putting down roots in a brand-new home with her guy, but she had goals and…stifling inhibitions.
If she wanted success, she had to give some things up to get it. That had been so much easier before when the thing she was giving up didn’t have a face and a name, or a smile that made all four of her cheeks burn hot.
She pounded her thigh and spat, “Fuck.”
It wasn’t fair. It really wasn’t. But there was no turning back now. She was committed to succeeding, and she couldn’t do that if she committed to anything—or anyone—else.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
It had taken Kevin less than a month of being on house arrest to get so bored that he’d violate the terms of his house arrest. The kid was brazen as all get-out. He’d tried to sell pot to an undercover cop right in front of Tim’s fucking front door.
Tim had been tempted to leave him at the jailhouse rather than to try to negotiate on his behalf. He was through with coddling the kid and was ready to teach him a hard lesson about consequences.
But Heidi had pleaded for Tim to give Kevin one more try, and it’d always been so hard for him to say no to Heidi. She so rarely asked for anything.
Tim and Heidi waited in the hallway outside the judge’s chambers in the courthouse where Kevin was getting a more professional lecture than either of them could have given him. They sat quietly. Heidi drummed her fingertips softly against her thighs. Tim just ground his teeth and seethed.
“You know what?” he murmured after five minutes of staring at the wall clock.
Heidi raised an eyebrow in query.
“I give up.”
“On Kevin?” Heidi sat up straighter.
“No. Not on Kevin. On everything else. The wife-and-kids thing. Maybe it’s just not meant to happen, and Kevin is just a big neon sign telling me where my focus should be. Maybe I should invest my energy exclusively on him until we’ve fixed this thing.”
“Oh, Tim, no.” She grabbed his hands and gave them an encouraging squeeze. “I don’t believe that.”
“Hard not to.”
“Just give it some time. It may not seem like you have much, but you’re not exactly going to wake up tomorrow morning and roll yourself into a freshly-dug grave.”
“Up until yesterday, I thought the same thing, but a bad night’s sleep and three calls from Kevin’s lawyer this morning changed that.” He extricated his fingers from Heidi’s and slouched in his seat. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Evidently, I screwed up with yet another person. Valerie’s fallen off the planet.”
Heidi’s eyes went wide. “How long has she been AWOL?”
“A month.”
He’d tried not to think about it, but her avoidance of him had seemed particularly purposeful about a week in. By two weeks, he’d started to fume.
What went wrong?
“I’m sorry. I could tell she was hitting the right chords for you, and I know that doesn’t ever happen.”
“Do you think I would be out of bounds if I tracked her down? I could probably get Carine to tell me where she went, at least in general terms.” He’d told himself that he wouldn’t—that he wasn’t going to change his policy of never giving chase just for her. But in the past, he hadn’t been so invested.
No other woman had made him perseverate on the idea of crawling into bed at the same time every night and kissing the day’s secrets out of her. He’d soothe her aches. Distract her from her worries and eliminate all the ones he could.
He’d give her a home and a family, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what that might look like for them. He couldn’t stop thinking about the rapport they’d have.
But she had to want to. She obviously didn’t want to. She’d run.
Heidi drew some air through her clenched teeth and crossed her legs at the knees. “You know, for once, I don’t have any good advice to give. Valerie’s a complicated one.”
“What would you want if you were her?”
“Me? Well, I’d want to be chased, even if I don’t think I plan to commit. Knowing that you’re wanted can possibly lead to other things.”
“Hmm.” Tim rubbed his chin contemplatively. “And if I stop wanting her so easily, she’ll think I never really wanted her in the first place.”
“Bingo.”
He didn’t want Valerie to think that. Perhaps, at first, he’d only been looking for fun and expecting nothing, but now he was playing for keeps. He saw the potential in them being together.
“I’ll see what I can find out, then,” he murmured.
“Good for you!” Heidi squinted up at the clock. “Go ahead and do it now. I’ll wrangle Kevin and get some lunch into him. You’ve got a conference call about boats at three. I’m supposed to be on it, too, but this gives me an excuse to use my time for something that will be productive, if not satisfying.”
He gave her shoulder a nudge and stood. “I see. Throw me to the wolves with the meeting but pick up the slack here.” He chuckled, feeling genuine amusement for the first time in a week or more. “You are one calculating woman, Heidi Dowd.”
She turned her hands over in concession. “I learned from the best.”
“Hey, I learned plenty from you, too.”
“We make a good team, huh?”
“Yeah, for most things,” Tim said, smile fading. “Just not—“
The chamber door swung open, and Kevin shuffled out and gave his pants a yank at the waist.
Heidi growled, walked over to him, pulled his pants up, and fastened his belt so that six inches dangled off the end, which she had to tuck into his belt loops. “You are driving me nuts with that. You’re skinny. Wear pants for skinny people and not this optical illusion crap you wannabe ballers insist on buying.”
Kevin rolled his eyes.
Tim opened his mouth to follow up on what Heidi had said, but before he could get the words out, the judge said, “I gave him two choices.”
Tim turned to face the judge and Heidi stopped tucking Kevin’s shirt into his newly tightened blue jeans.
“I told him he could spend six weeks in jail, or he can keep the house arrest cuff and I’d have his probation officer loosen the restrictions so he could work during the day.”
“You want us to take him to work with us?” Heidi asked, incredulous.
“Naw,” the judge said. “I actually think the ingrate needs to spend less time with you, not more. I’ve got a nice list of folks who’ll take on special cases onto their crews for a while.”
“Special cases?” Tim asked drolly.
“Yep. Unfortunately, the sewer treatment plant didn’t need any workers and I couldn’t get him a spot at the fishery, either. I next tried my friends who do road construction, thinking maybe six or seven hours out in the sun every day holding up a heavy stop sign would be a special treat for him.”
Kevin groaned.
Tim nodded in agreement.
“What happened?” Heidi asked.
“My guys are working too far out of the area for the next month, and I don’t want him traveling that far from work—especially since he doesn’t have a valid license.”
“So, what’d you come up with?”
The judge held up a couple of fingers. “Like I said, his choices came down to two things. He’d either work with the field hands harvesting beans out at Perry’s—the migrant workers oughtta get a real kick out of that—or he’d do some hard construction labor. Plenty of that around here.”