by Emma Hamm
But setting loose a full-grown male dragon wasn’t right either.
Instead, she reached out and hooked a hand around a spine at his shoulder. “I’ll come with you,” she said. “Not as a dragon, but as a woman. I’ll try to reason with them.”
“I have little hope it well help.”
“Hope is hard to find sometimes,” she replied, pulling herself up onto his back. “Perhaps this time, it’s little more than a wish. I shall wish for peace. You may wish for an end to this madness.”
“Wishes rarely come true, Sultana.”
Gods, she knew it. But that didn’t deter her from wishing harder than she ever had before as Nadir lunged out of the balcony, bursting through the stone walls, and soaring up into the sky.
30
Nadir
He didn’t think it would be like this. Letting the dragon take control completely of his mind and body had seemed so simple. They were the same creature, weren’t they? That’s what everyone had always told him if they were Beastkin.
The animal and the man were one and the same. Combining them only allowed them both to be entirely free. And yet… that’s not what happened to him.
He’d noticed the moment he sat down on his throne. The words whispering in his ears weren’t those of his own. The angry thoughts, the pain, the hatred that made claws erupt from his fingertips and made his cheeks burn. These weren’t the thoughts of a man. They were the thoughts of a hunted animal who had finally changed from prey to hunter.
Tearing them apart had been the only answer to his pain. He wanted to hear them scream, and he had. Their blood had tasted sweet against his tongue, the hot spurts spreading through his mouth like the finest of liqueurs. When had he enjoyed that? Nadir couldn’t remember a time when he’d thought that death was a good thing. When he’d enjoyed such a terrible thing.
Then, the madness had faded. He’d stood in the center of the great hall, watching the blood slip down the walls and the pieces of people he’d left strewn about the room. Abdul’s head sat on a spike at the back of the throne. Saafiya had laid across it, missing both her arms while her dead eyes stared up at the ceiling.
The others hadn’t escaped similar treatment. He’d seen them as nothing more than puppets to play with. Mice in the hands of a cruel feline.
Nadir had thrown up in the pool. Staring down at the red water, swirling with blood. His own face reflected in the crimson waters, but he didn’t recognize the man staring back at him.
She’d soothed him. Sigrid. The one whose voice was a breath of cool air, brushing across his face. She’d smoothed her hands down his shoulders, tugged him away from the people whose hearts he could still hear beating in their chest.
What frightened him most was that he recognized the people standing in the hall. He’d named them all in his head. Raheem, Tahira, Solomon, Camilla, all the people who had stood by him throughout so much. He remembered them, and he’d still wanted to tear them apart with claws and teeth.
What had he become?
She’d managed to ease his mind at least a little. The pool had calmed the dragon within him. It wanted to rest, after all. Its belly was full, and its mind had calmed now that the enemies who wanted to hurt them were dead.
And then he’d remembered she was his mate. She was everything to him, the reason why the wind soared beneath his wings and everything had started to fall apart.
The dragon awakened then. It whispered in his ears that he would never be the man she wanted or deserved. That he needed to relinquish his hold on everything, because he was nothing more than a forgotten king who needed to rest.
Gods, he was tired. He didn’t want to be the sultan anymore. He didn’t want to kill more people who he was supposed to trust, knowing that everyone betrayed him in the end.
He’d told her that he loved her.
What foolish man was he? Of course she couldn’t love him back. She was a reasonable woman and knew how dangerous it was for them to be together. The last time they’d even tried to be together, two kingdoms had started a war.
What other manner of darkness would spread from them?
And that was when the dragon had pushed to the forefront of his mind. Nadir had felt the human part of his mind being shoved aside in the wake of something far stronger.
It wasn’t like she thought. The dragon and him were the same person. They were far more than just man and beast. Whatever his birth mother had done to him, it had worked.
He was a man and a dragon. The instincts within him could easily override anything that was logical or reasonable by the man inside him. He was running on nothing more than instincts. His gut told him Sigrid was necessary in his life for his own happiness.
Damn the word. Damn everything that would separate them.
And that meant he had to stop this war. That meant they would fly above the kingdoms, and he would rage at the sky if it meant he got to keep her by his side. He’d destroy kingdoms for her, if that’s what it took.
Her legs squeezed his neck, tightening as he shifted to the side. They would have traveled faster if she were a dragon as well. He could fly higher, burst through the clouds where it was more difficult to breathe.
She refused to travel as anything but a human. Over and again, she claimed it was important to remember who they really were.
How different she was from the first time she came to his kingdom. Back then, she would have said he was finally accepting himself. That they’d finally come to a point in their lives where they recognized the animals were more important than the human.
Someday, she would tell him what she’d seen far off in those mountains. She would explain what the ancestors had done to her, why she suddenly thought it so important to retain the human part of her soul.
Nadir spread his wings wide and felt the last bit of his humanity slip out of his grip. He was filled with fury.
For the people who had hurt Sigrid. At his advisors who had lied to him, taken his brother away from him.
Gods, his brother.
Memories burst into life. Frayed lungs gurgling in a bed while wild eyes stared at him, refusing to let go. A hand which had been so strong once, reaching out for him. A voice, once thundering, weakly begging for mercy.
Nadir hated them. He hated them all and it had to stop. It didn’t matter how it stopped, but he was going to ruin them all.
He wouldn’t let anyone live. Their blood would coat his tongue like that of his advisors if they stood between him and happiness any longer.
31
Sigrid
It was so quiet up here. She hadn’t expected that. Nadir’s body flexed underneath her, scales scraping the insides of her thighs. His wings spread out wide as they glided on the wind. Silent and graceful, they blew over the Edge of the World toward her homeland without a single person realizing they were moving.
For a few moments, she was overtaken by the amount of greenery that was so beautiful it made her eyes hurt. This was her homeland. The place where she’d been born lived deep in her soul like a breathing thing. She could feel Wildewyn beneath them.
Ancient trees stretched up from the ground. Their roots spread deep below them, carrying stories into the earth so that they would never be forgotten by the souls who had created them. Birds flew out of the branches, the dull and muted colors ready to hide them from anyone who might have tried to hurt them.
This was a place made for dreamers. For those who wanted to hide in the shadows or watch the land stretch into great mountains in the distance. She’d never thought to leave this place, or that she’d find someone who filled her soul like the land itself.
And yet, she had.
Sigrid reached down and pressed her palm flat against Nadir’s back. The muscles twitched beneath her touch, and she felt the warmth of his affection flooding through her mind.
Their connection was more than a little overwhelming. She couldn’t think when it was still his emotions filling her thoughts. He touched her now with more tha
n just words or a passing glance. He’d poured his own mind into hers, and she didn’t know how to handle that.
How could any woman? Sigrid had thought he was indifferent to her, or merely interested in her, because she was a fanciful thing like him. A creature that shouldn't exist. Another golden trophy to hang on his wall.
Now, she understood it was so much more than that. He wanted to protect her. He wanted her in his life forever, so he could watch over her. And certainly there was a large portion of possessiveness. The idea of someone else having claim to her made his stomach burn and his dragon roll deep within him. The beast would kill anyone who touched her.
Heat bloomed in her chest, an answering fire at the thought of someone else touching him. She’d do the same, and the feeling wasn’t human at all. She didn’t know how to reconcile the beastly desires in her mind. The dragon inside her knew how to handle this man and the other side of him. The draconic side who wanted to tear people limb from limb.
She’d fought that beast inside her for years now. The creature that wanted to end the world as she knew it and force Sigrid to see the mountains of Wildewyn through dulled eyes.
Leaning forward, she stroked her hand down his side and said through their minds, “What do you think?”
“Of what?”
“My home.” She let a bit of her own emotions slip through their connection. He must be able to feel the wonder and awe that always filled her when she saw her homeland again. Couldn’t he feel it as well? The hope that lit a fire deep inside her.
He let out a grumble. “It’s very green.”
Leave it to Nadir to say the only thing which was obvious when he was given a gift of emerald lands. She leaned back and huffed out a breath.
“It’s more than that,” Sigrid replied. “Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Bymere is that.”
“Bymere lacks color.”
His laugh made her ears hurt, which didn’t seem possible considering it was in her own mind. “Sigrid. Bymere is filled with more color than this! Did you not see the rainbows of silk hanging from every street corner? The vibrancy of my palace?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about man-made things. Bymere is filled with sand and that’s the same color no matter where you look.”
“And Wildewyn is filled with green as far as the eyes can see. I don’t see the difference.”
She wanted to argue with him, but in a way, he was right. She just loved this place so much her eyes couldn’t see what he could see. This was her home. More than that, it was a piece of her soul which burned deep inside her.
Nadir tilted his wings, gliding closer to the ground than before.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Can’t you smell that?”
She couldn’t really smell anything when the wind was blasting her face. There were too many scents on the wind for her to pick through them and name exactly what they were.
Sigrid screwed up her face and tried again. Moss, decaying leaves, the scent of a few animals below them who were running away. Nothing that made her worry, and nothing that would have made him change course.
“We’re going to Greenmire Castle,” she reminded him. “You’re not going toward the castle right now.”
“They’re not fighting at the castle.”
“That’s where Raheem said the armies were heading. We don’t have any reason to think they would have changed course.”
“They would if they had to,” he growled.
Then, she smelled it. The scent of fire on the wind and ashes in the air. A plume of smoke rose in the distance, joined by another and another until she couldn’t tell where they originated. A wall of shadows and smoke in the distance.
Destroying her homeland.
Sigrid leaned forward on his neck and urged him forward. “Nadir.”
“I see it.”
“What have they done?” She didn’t care who had started the fire. Wildewyn was careful to make sure they didn’t start. Dead leaves filled the forest, covering the ground and far more flammable than most would have given them credit for. A single spark could set the entire forest on fire, and they’d never be able to stop it.
That’s what they were looking at. A fire which refused to die down and would destroy so much more than just trees and animals. It would destroy homes, people’s livelihoods… the future of Wildewyn.
Nadir beat his wings against the air and shot toward the smoke. They reached it in record time, only to see the destruction had already been done.
An entire village had been reduced to nothing more than smoldering ash and blackened wood homes. A few people stumbled below them. They searched the rubble for their families or anything they might take with them toward Greenmire Castle who would hopefully give them sanctuary.
Sigrid wasn’t so sure that was possible. Tears filled her eyes as she realized what this would mean for her kingdom. They were all going to fall apart at the seams, and there was nothing she could do to save them.
She had failed them.
“Sigrid,” Nadir said in her mind, his voice gentle.
“Not yet. Don’t say anything yet.”
They flew over the destruction of Wildewyn in silence. Smoke choked the air, billowing from the ashes of ruin that arrowed toward Greenmire Castle. There were so many dead bodies littering the ground. So many children on their knees next to parents who wouldn’t wake up. So many dead animals lying on the ground where they had tried to run from the smoke and the flames.
Tears slid down her cheeks freely. She hadn’t thought…
“People are capable of many things, Sigrid,” Nadir interrupted. “Even good men do terrible things when they think it will lead toward their own happiness.”
“I brought them,” she whispered back to him. “I was the one who told them they would be safe here, and I was the one who destroyed my home.”
“You can’t know it was the Beastkin.”
But she could. No one from Wildewyn would be foolish enough to set a fire like this. They didn’t even carry torches on hunting parties for that reason. The Bymerians wouldn’t have known that fire would do this. She’d seen campfires start a flame, and they didn’t do this. Earthen folk knew how to take care of those mistakes, it wouldn’t have spread like this.
That left only one group of people who would have used fire. One group of people who knew how much it would hurt Wildewyn, and how much of a distraction it would cause for those armies.
How could her own people do this? They who had grown up in these leaves and had looked down upon it from the safety of the castle?
Nadir darted through the air until they could hear the sound of battle. The clanging crash of sword against sword. The strike of metal and steel, and the screams of enraged animals.
“Sigrid,” he muttered, his eyes seeing farther than hers. “We may be too late.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It needs to be said. I don’t want you to think we can save everyone when—”
“Please.” She couldn’t hear these words. Not yet. She couldn’t think that her entire homeland was destroyed because she had hesitated to wash a man who didn’t need cleansing or healing. Sigrid would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had somehow been the person responsible for the destruction of Wildewyn.
“This is not your fault,” Nadir continued. Though brutal, she knew he only wanted to make her feel better. “Those who started this war. The ones who allowed hatred to rule their decisions and to make them afraid. Those are the people who you can blame, but never yourself.”
“You don’t get to say what I feel guilty about.”
“I do.” He spat the words at her, wings striking the air and flames spurting from his nostrils. “I get to have a say in what you blame yourself for, because I am your mate.”
“I never agreed to that.”
“Neither did I.”
Nadir tucked his wings close to his si
des, and they shot toward the battlefield. Three armies fought there, each in a different corner of a wide open field.
The Earthen folk wore their silver armor which reflected the dull light of flames all around them. They lifted thin rapiers and lances, striking fast and true at those who tried to overwhelm them. Helms with plumes of blue feathers marked those who had come from Greenmire Castle. Those who protected the king.
Bymerian soldiers swarmed the battlefield from the east. The crimson-dyed leather of their armor was an insult to the sultan who hadn’t ordered them to attack anyone at all. Scimitars were a blur as they whirled toward their enemies and slashed through whatever flesh they could find.
The Beastkin congregated in the southern part of the field. Some had already changed into their animals. Others waited in the shadows for the right opportunity to strike. Sigrid watched as a familiar leopard launched himself at an Earthen soldier and tore through his throat.
Why were they fighting? Did any of them even know the reason for their hatred of each other? She had a feeling the answer was no.
“Fly to the center of the battlefield,” she said.
“That’s a death wish, Sigrid. Three armies against two dragons could easily take us down.”
“Your army won’t attack you. The Earthen folk won’t attack me. That’s one army we have to deal with, and I don’t think the Beastkin are interested in killing their leader who came back from the dead.”
He growled, the sound low and deep. “You’re putting a lot of trust in your people.”
“We have to trust them eventually. We are their leaders, aren’t we? Haven’t we spent the last year gaining their trust just in case something like this happened?”
He huffed out another breath, but descended.
The soldiers hadn’t noticed them. She didn’t know how no one had looked up, but could only guess that the Beastkin weren’t attacking from the air yet. They were allowing the Earthen armies and the Bymerian ones to destroy each other, then were going to pick off the last lingering soldiers.