by Marek Halter
Parysatis smiled and screwed up her eyes. Her upper lip was curled over her small teeth, and the folds round her mouth had spread to her cheeks, making her look ten years older. She took her right hand out from beneath the leopardskin, still holding the kitten. She threw the little animal at Lilah’s feet, where it rolled over and lay motionless. It was dead, its neck broken.
‘If you want Parysatis’ advice, Lilah, make sure I forget you.’
Her eyes were wide open in the darkness of the bedchamber. Parysatis’ words kept going through her head. The kitten’s mews, its dead body, everything merged together, confused and terrifying.
What had the Queen said? What had she said herself? She could not remember. Was she to understand that Parysatis would help her, would talk to the King of Kings, advise him to send for Ezra? How could she know?
Had she humiliated herself in vain?
What had she agreed to?
Never to see Antinoes again.
Never to love Antinoes again. Never to kiss or caress him.
And perhaps she would get nothing in return.
Again and again the Queen’s words, the whole scene, twisted through her thoughts, like an endlessly spinning top.
‘Lilah …’
She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she did not hear the whisper.
‘Lilah!’
She made out a shadowy figure. She was no longer alone in the room.
‘Lilah …’
For a split second, she thought it was Antinoes, taking advantage of the darkness to join her in spite of Parysatis’ spies.
But she could smell a woman’s scent. At last she recognized the voice. ‘Axatria!’
‘Not so loud, there’s no point in waking the whole house!’
‘What’s happening? Why have you come up here without a lamp?’
Axatria was thrusting a shawl into her hands. Lilah resisted, ready to protest.
‘Sssh, don’t make a noise … Sogdiam is downstairs.’
‘Sogdiam? What’s he doing here?’
‘He’ll tell you himself. Hurry up.’
Axatria was already pulling her towards the door and the shadowy corridors.
A few moments later, Lilah found Sogdiam in the kitchen, huddled in front of the last embers in the hearth. In spite of the blanket Axatria had put round him, his teeth were chattering, his hands held tight round a cup of steaming herb tea.
He tried to stand when they came in, but his deformed legs were numb with cold and could hardly carry him. Lilah and Axatria rushed to stop him falling.
‘He’s been wandering around the city since sunset,’ Axatria said.
‘I had to hide before I came here.’ Sogdiam pulled the blanket over his head. ‘If not, the guards would have caught me. No chance of passing unnoticed with my legs.’
‘Has something happened to Ezra?’ Lilah asked.
‘No, no. Ezra’s fine. I’ve come because of Master Baruch. He’s not well.’
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Let him drink his herb tea and get warm or he’ll be ill,’ Axatria said. ‘I’ll go and find him a dry tunic. His own tunic is like a block of ice.’
‘At first,’ Sogdiam said, regaining his strength, ‘I didn’t notice anything. Master Baruch kept complimenting me on my cooking, and asking for a little more of this, a little more of that. And I was happy to give it. I thought, Master Baruch has a good appetite and really likes my dishes! I cooked him fish, millet balls, barley biscuits filled with stuffed pigeons, olives and dates … All good food. When I started I didn’t know the recipes, but I learned quickly. One recipe leads to another, then another … Master Baruch ate everything, left nothing. And if Ezra didn’t like what I’d made or wasn’t hungry, he’d eat Ezra’s portion, too. Of course I thought it strange, but you know how Master Baruch is. He’s the strangest character I’ve ever met. One day he’s laughing, another day he doesn’t open his mouth or his eyes. One day he’s grumpy, the next day he talks all day. Four nights ago, I woke up and heard him moaning. This time, he was really ill. I waited for Ezra to call me to help him tend to him, boil him herbs, as you taught me. But they didn’t ask for anything. Master Baruch didn’t want it. I stayed there in the dark like an idiot, listening to them argue. “You’re making yourself ill, Master,” Ezra was saying, “and I know why. You’re flouting Yahweh’s will.” “Don’t boast, my boy,” Master Baruch answered, moaning. “You know nothing at all. Apart from your pride, you know nothing. I’m old, and the old die, that’s all.” “You can’t make yourself ill like this, Master,” Ezra said again. “The Law forbids it. Sogdiam will look after you.” To which Master Baruch retorted, “Go back to your studies, then. You’re wasting time, Ezra. You shouldn’t be here, losing sleep over an old man. Only a fool would bother with such things!” Anyway … They argued like that for hours … In the morning, when I went to see Master Baruch, he was exhausted. To tell the truth, I thought he was dead. Ezra was quite shaken. He couldn’t study. Zachariah and the others were out in the courtyard, as usual, but he sent them away. I made some herb tea for Master Baruch, but when I put the cup beside him, he refused to drink it. You’ll never guess what he said.’
Sogdiam, eyes bright with excitement, looked from Lilah to Axatria, then back to Lilah. ‘“Sogdiam, my boy,” he said, “if you want to be a good Jew, make me a nice loaf of barley bread filled with pigeon’s eyes, fish sperm, offal from a lamb killed according to Yahweh’s Law, onions, a lot of garlic and curdled milk.” That’s what he said – after a night like that!’
‘And did you make it?’ Axatria asked.
‘It was impossible. Where could I find a lamb killed according to the Law in the lower town? And, in any case, Ezra forbade it. He claims Master Baruch is trying to kill himself even though the Everlasting has not demanded it of him.’
‘So?’ Axatria prompted.
The excitement drained from Sogdiam’s eyes. He rubbed his cracked lips and turned to Lilah. ‘That’s why I’m here. Master Baruch has decided he won’t eat or drink until I’ve made his filled bread. What can I do? Where can I find the offal? I couldn’t stay in the lower town, fretting, so I came to you. But with my legs, it’s not easy to get about in the snow, especially at night. I lost my way. Ezra had told me where the house was, but how to find it in the dark, with all these streets and houses?’
Lilah was speechless. She drew Sogdiam to her, and kissed his temples.
‘It’s all right, my boy, it’s all right,’ Axatria said. ‘As soon as it’s light, we’ll leave in the chariot. We’ll hide you under a blanket. As for the offal, there must be some in the house, if Master Baruch really wants it. The one certain thing is that he mustn’t die of starvation.’
By the time they reached Ezra’s house, there were so many people in the street that Sogdiam had to reveal himself and speak before they were allowed through. How had the news that Master Baruch was dying spread through the lower city? Lilah had no idea. It was as if the air itself had spread the rumour.
They went through the gate. The courtyard, although also overrun with people, was strangely silent. Lilah recognized Zachariah. She ran to the study.
Ezra, dark rings under his eyes from exhaustion and sadness, was sitting on his stool beside Master Baruch’s bed. He stood up when she came in, and took her in his arms with a sigh of relief. ‘He’s still breathing,’ he whispered, before she could ask.
Lilah knelt by the old man’s bed. His eyes were closed and his face, surrounded by his beard and hair, was at peace. For a moment, she could not move for tenderness, fear and sadness. She gazed at the old man’s lips and nostrils: pale, without a sign of life. Shyly, she touched his brow. It was barely warm, like his cheeks. It was too late, it seemed to her. Ezra was wrong: Master Baruch had stopped breathing.
Without her realizing it, a moan escaped her. She looked up at Ezra, who shook his head and knelt beside her. Delicately, he held a thin sheet of silver in front of Master Baruch’s nose. It misted over.
Sogdiam and Axatria had been watching their every gesture from the doorway. ‘Is he still breathing?’ Sogdiam asked, in a barely audible voice.
Lilah nodded.
‘In that case, we mustn’t waste any more time,’ Axatria said softly. ‘Come to the kitchen.’ She pulled the boy’s sleeve.
‘To do what?’ he protested.
‘To make his filled barley bread.’
‘You’re mad! He won’t eat anything now, in the state he’s in.’
‘How do you know? He’s alive, he asked for barley bread, that’s all that matters. Come on, hurry up and light the oven.’
Axatria was right. She was speaking the very words that Master Baruch would have wanted to hear.
Lilah tried to smile, but did not have the strength. She sat down on the edge of the bed. Her shoulders began to heave under the wave of sobs that overwhelmed her. Ezra put his arm round her and drew her to him. She sought out his hands, intertwined her fingers with his. She bit her lip to stop herself shaking too much. For the first time in years, she saw tears glistening in Ezra’s red-rimmed eyes.
She yielded to his embrace. Their heads touched. Through their clothes, Lilah could feel the warmth of her brother’s body. She had almost forgotten that Ezra had a body as young as hers. It had been such a long time …
Brother and sister. Ezra and Lilah.
It had been such a long time!
It was just before dusk that Master Baruch awoke. His eyes opened suddenly and his gaze was bright and alive. He immediately recognized the faces of those bending over him, and smiled. ‘My dove,’ he whispered, ‘I knew you would come.’
‘Sogdiam came to fetch me, Master Baruch,’ Lilah said.
‘A good boy … a good boy.’
His eyes closed. Lilah thought he had fallen asleep again. But the fingers of his right hand were moving. ‘Both of you,’ he whispered in an almost inaudible voice, without opening his eyes.
Lilah and Ezra did not understand immediately. His old fingers moved more nervously. Finally Ezra placed his hand on Master Baruch’s right hand and Lilah took hold of the other. The old man smiled slightly.
They remained like this for a while.
The murmur of voices could be heard in the courtyard. From the kitchen, where Axatria and Sogdiam were performing a miracle, there came a delicious aroma.
Again Master Baruch’s eyes opened wide. Clear and lucid, they came to rest on Lilah. ‘It will come to pass,’ he breathed. ‘You did what you had to do, I know. Have no doubts. It is Yahweh’s wish.’
Lilah’s eyes misted over. For the first time since she had left Parysatis, the shame that had clung to her like an extra skin was dissolving. It was as if Master Baruch’s simple words had purified her.
Now he was looking at Ezra. ‘Everything has an end, Ezra,’ he said.
‘Master …’
‘Listen to me. Everything has a beginning and an end.’ He paused for breath, and to recover a little strength. ‘Remember Isaiah’s words. “At dawn, you will be born again, you will grow quickly, and justice will walk before you … and Yahweh will bring up the rear with all His weight.”’
After this great effort he fell silent again. But his will remained strong – they could see it in his eyes.
‘A time for study and a time to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem,’ he murmured. ‘A time for Baruch ben Neriah to thank Yahweh.’
Ezra was about to speak, but the old man’s eyes closed again.
Lilah thought it was over. But after a moment of total silence, Master Baruch’s fingers squeezed hers. ‘I can smell barley bread, filled barley bread! What a delight …’
Lilah sought Ezra’s eyes. He nodded. ‘Sogdiam has just baked it for you, Master.’
Master Baruch’s eyelids and lips quivered. ‘Bring it in, bring it in.’
Ezra ran to find Sogdiam and Axatria. The bread was placed right in front of Master Baruch’s face. Old as he was, the smile that lit up his features was as radiant and carefree as that of a young man greedy for life and brimming with hope.
A moment later, he stopped breathing.
All night long, candles burned in the house. Although no one person made the decision, tallow, wicks and oil were found. By the time the clouds had cleared to reveal the stars, the courtyard and the streets around Ezra’s house were illuminated by hundreds of lamps.
Zachariah and his people sang, and Ezra read some words from the scroll of Isaiah, which Master Baruch had known by heart:
Rejoice with Jerusalem, be glad for her, all you who love her,
Rejoice with her, all you who have mourned for her,
You will drink your fill at her comforting breasts,
You will drink with delight at her overflowing breasts …
In the morning, the sky over Susa was filled with mist. It made the sun white and the snowy ground dazzling. When the white disc of the sun reached its zenith, which, at this season, was lower than the Citadel, they came. On foot, without a chariot, but armed. Ten soldiers with felt helmets and fur capes, spears in their hands. They cut through the silent crowd. When they reached the gate, their officer asked for Ezra, son of Serayah.
When Ezra appeared, the officer handed him a wax tablet. ‘By order of our king, Artaxerxes the Second, king of the peoples from east to west by the will of Ahura Mazda, the great god, you, Ezra, son of Serayah, are ordered to appear by the statue of Darius the father, at the foot of the southern steps to the Apadana, the day after tomorrow. Present this tablet before midday and you will be taken to him. That is the will of the great King Artaxerxes.’
The soldiers turned back the way they had come, and the crowd stood aside to let them pass.
The visitors were struck dumb with amazement. They repeated the officer’s words to themselves without grasping their meaning.
Ezra held the tablet in his hands, incredulous, and as nervous as if the wax concealed a magic spell or a poisonous insect.
Lilah’s legs were shaking. If Axatria had not been behind her, she would have collapsed.
The King had summoned Ezra!
Parysatis had spoken!
Master Baruch had been right!
Zachariah was the first to cry, ‘Praise be to God! Praise be to the Everlasting!’
His cry was echoed by the onlookers, and spread through the courtyard. The men raised their hands to heaven, applauding, then flung their hats, turbans and caps into the air. Tears of mourning became cries of celebration. The joy was so intense that the other inhabitants of the lower town were taken aback, even shocked.
By the time evening came, Sogdiam had had to explain a hundred times why there had been such laughter. This, he said, was perhaps the true miracle of Master Baruch’s death, and the reason for the beautiful smile with which he had savoured the final moments of his earthly life.
But as they were about to place the old sage’s body in the earth, Ezra stood up suddenly, and looked fixedly at Zachariah and Lilah. ‘It’s impossible,’ he said.
He went to find the wax tablet from the Citadel, written with all the skill of the Apadana’s scribes, and waved it above his head. ‘It’s impossible!’ he said again. ‘I can’t appear before the King.’
All those who heard him froze. They repeated to themselves what he had said, as earlier they had repeated the good news. This time, a curious silence spread from the courtyard to the surrounding streets.
‘Why is it impossible?’ Zachariah asked at last in a quavering voice.
‘Whoever appears before the King must bow down. He must bend his knees and even blow a kiss to Artaxerxes.’
‘Yes,’ Zachariah said, with a frown. ‘We know.’
‘Whoever does not bow down,’ Ezra went on, waving the tablet, ‘is seized by the eunuchs, and the audience is cancelled.’
‘May the Everlasting protect you!’ Zachariah said. ‘You’ll bow down and everything will be fine.’
Ezra roared with anger, and started walking up and down in front of the as
tonished crowd. ‘How can someone who must lead Yahweh’s people to their land bow down?’ he cried, looking at Lilah.
But it was again Zachariah who replied. He went up to Ezra and tried to calm him. ‘Come on! What harm is there in bowing to the King of Kings? It’s the rule. Even the lords of the Citadel, even the envoys of the Greeks, have done it. There’s nothing shameful in it.’
‘Zachariah!’ In his anger, Ezra hurled the tablet from him. It flew between earth and sky, and the crowd cried out in horror. Sogdiam leaped towards it and caught it before it could hit the ground and break. He landed heavily on his back, but his grimace of pain was mingled with relief.
Ezra barely glanced at him. He pointed at Zachariah, then at those around him. ‘What is not shameful for the Gentiles is shameful for us!’ His voice swelled, and he opened his arms wide: ‘This is how it starts! You want me to lead you to Jerusalem. You want to carry the stones to rebuild the walls of the Temple. You want to be the hands that will purify it, that will open its doors, and you don’t even know what it means to bow down! Artaxerxes walks hand in hand with his god Ahura Mazda as if he were the master of the universe. He demands that we bow down before him as if he were a god of heaven and earth!’ Ezra’s voice was less furious now. It quivered more in sorrow than in anger. ‘Zachariah! And all of you, sons of Levi, sons of Jacob, sons of the kohanim, including the first of them, Moses’ brother Aaron! You who ought to carry them within you as the blood carries your steps, have you forgotten the words of Yahweh? “You shall not bow down before any idol. You shall not bow down before any false god, or before any man who claims to be a god.”’
The quivering voice fell silent.
Heads bowed.
Lilah, who had bent to help Sogdiam, felt her body grow cold. Had so much effort been in vain? For a moment she hoped that Master Baruch would raise his voice and suggest a solution to Ezra. But Master Baruch’s voice was silent now for ever.
‘There is something you could do,’ Axatria said unexpectedly.
All eyes turned to her.
She was looking at Ezra with a shy smile. ‘If the King isn’t a god, he doesn’t know how to separate true from false.’