by Mia Ashlinn
Randy pressed and held the close door button. “He knows you’re hiding something.” He let go of the button when the doors closed and grabbed his clothes to the floor. “Shit, baby doll, we all do.” Redressing, he carried on his explanation for Drew’s unexpected statement, “Only he doesn’t know what it is you’re hiding.”
Bloody fucking hell. They knew.
Breaking out in a cold sweat, she tried her damnedest to readjust her clothing with her uncontrollable, barely-functioning hands. If they weren’t going to be undressed, then by God, neither would she. That vulnerability would be too much right now. She already felt emotionally stripped bare and did not need to add yet another layer to the intense situation.
Jared threw on his clothes and stated the obvious, “But we do.”
Chapter 19
The elevators whooshed open, and all three of its passengers filed out with Jared leading the way. Heading for his, Drew, and Randy’s room, Jared attempted to reign in the hedonistic beast clawing at his insides, but even the emotional turmoil barely kept the creature at bay.
“You don’t think he will come back here, do you? I could go to my, um, room if you want. Well, at least until he cools off a bit.”
Shannon sounded so small behind him, making him want to throw something. Between her hesitant, nearly inaudible voice and her half-hopeful, half-dejected words, Jared felt compelled to hunt down Drew and tear off several strips of his hide. Two things stopped him from doing just that—Shannon and Drew.
Shannon needed him with her more than he needed to work out his frustration and aggression on the root of everyone’s problem. She came first, even before the blood thirst driving him to the edge of madness.
Drew also saved himself, because Jared understood his brother. He could feel what he was going through. His brother fought a losing battle. They all knew it, but he refused to give those last few inches. Years of abuse made him different than Jared and Randy.
Drew and Shannon were far more alike than either would admit. They were proud, passionate, and loyal to a fault. But they were also stubborn, temperamental, and vengeful. No wonder they had turned so volatile lately. Their emotions ran all over the place, which made each of them prime targets for the other. Jared believed it was a bloody miracle these two hadn’t pushed each other further before now.
Using the key, Jared unlocked the door. “No. He won’t be back for a while.” His unspoken words, “if at all,” hung in the air between them. He twisted the knob and pushed open the door for her. Standing to the side, he allowed her to go in first.
She brushed past him, the clean smell of her favorite perfume trailing behind her and permeating the air. “Why didn’t you tell Drew?” She finally addressed the elephant hanging out with them since he made his bold declaration.
Jared had been waiting for it, giving her the time to gather her thoughts. She deserved a chance to get her legs back underneath her after they had blindsided her.
Randy quietly closed the door. “We don’t hide things from our brother, but this is something we couldn’t tell him because he won’t want to hear it from us. He’ll want to hear it from you.”
“Oh.” Shannon adorably flopped face first onto the king-size bed. It wasn’t smooth or graceful, elegant or refined, but it was the real, honest-to-goodness Shannon.
He would have never believed that even the smallest detail made such a difference to him. His heart skipped a beat, and his lips twitched. The fact she was lying on a bed only magnified his body’s response, making his already famished cock hunger for more.
Jared joined her on the bed and stretched out next to her. “Princess, he feels like you don’t trust him. He believes this is temporary for you and that you don’t really love him. Until he feels differently, you won’t have all of him.” He felt he had to tack on, “You will barely have half of him, and he will begrudge you even that.”
“Oh, my God,” she breathed, awestruck. “That’s his problem?”
Randy made his way to the chair situated next to the bed and fell into it. “Yeah, that’s his problem, baby doll.”
Blowing out a huge gust of air, she rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. “But, I do love him. I do trust him.”
Jared genuinely didn’t want to play the devil’s advocate, but someone had to. He laid his hand on her sweetly curved stomach. “We know you love him, but do you trust him? Really?”
Shannon gasped, her gaze flying to his, and moisture swam in her brownish-gold eyes.
Jared expected her to struggle with her emotions and attempt to keep the tears from falling, but he was wrong. A single tear fell from the corner of her eye and slid down the side of her face, landing on the lavish and more than likely overpriced bedspread. A second tear followed the first and more followed, not far behind that one. In just a few seconds, tears stained her beautiful face.
Jared used his fingertips as tissues, wiping away each and every tear she spilled. He whispered loving words to her but did nothing to stop her from crying. As much as it hurt him to see her pain, she needed to open herself to what she was feeling. If crying was a part of that, then she had to cry, and he had to let her.
Randy realized it, too, and climbed onto the humongous bed with them. He subtly curled himself around her without drawing attention to himself and laid his muscular arm across the midsection Jared had been massaging moments before.
Randy didn’t speak, but Jared wasn’t surprised. Randy tended to shy away from emotions, relying more on the physical than verbal. It wouldn’t matter to Shannon anyway. She needed the man, not the words.
Shannon sniffled inelegantly, drawing attention to her red button nose. “I’m sorry. I want to trust him.” More tears fell, clogging her voice. “I really do, but I’m so damn scared. He is hiding something from me, too. I can feel it, and my stupid fears won’t let me take that last step.” She paused, taking in a deep, shuddering breath before exhaling vigorously. “God, I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what,” Randy prompted her to proceed.
Sighing, she closed her eyes, hiding herself from them. “Any of this.”
Randy sat half up, propping his chin on his hand, and asked the question burning in Jared’s mind, “Any of what?”
“This, damn it.” She shot up, shaking off both of them, and pulled her knees to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her shins, she stared off into space. “I am so not that girl. You know? I’m not the one who believes in happily ever after.”
Laying her forehead on her knees, she rambled, “No, that isn’t true. I believe in happily ever after for everyone else, just not for me. I don’t deserve it, and I sure as hell don’t deserve the three of you.”
He and Randy sat up simultaneously, but Randy spoke first, beating Jared to the punch which was probably good because he had no clue what to say. “Why would you say that load of shit?”
“Because it’s the truth.” She gently beat her head against her knees as if she played tug-of-war with a demon only she could see. “I killed them. How can I be happy knowing that I’m the fucking reason they died? I thought I could do it. I really did. I believed that I could let the past go, but I just don’t think I can.” She barely got the words out before sobs wracked her body.
“You can do it. You will do it, and we will be there for you every step of the way,” Jared assured her, rubbing his hand up and down her back, offering her comfort in the best way he could.
Randy stroked her hair, his face a reflection of the agony they all felt. “Yeah, baby doll. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It hasn’t been that long since Pauley died. You have to give yourself time to adjust.”
Still not lifting her face, she shook her head emphatically against her knees. “No, I can’t.”
Randy met Jared’s eyes over Shannon’s head, silently communicating with him. They had to tread carefully. With where they stood right now, they couldn’t afford to make a mistake. The opportunity to patch things with both Shannon and Drew
closed in on them, morphing into a race against time. They had to fix this before one or both of them destroyed all their chances at happiness.
Randy nodded to him, agreeing she needed a little tough love. “Cut yourself a little slack. I get that you are scared. With the way your parents treated you, I don’t blame you.”
Shannon lifted her head slightly, a question in her eyes and a scowl on her face. “What do you mean by that, Randy? My parents loved me.”
Going on the defensive, she fell right into their trap to tag-team her until she saw some semblance of reason. Existing in the cave she called her brain wasn’t healthy, and they planned to go on a search and rescue. Her ass needed to be dragged into the land of the living, and they were just the men to do it.
Jared took her smaller hand in his own and squeezed. “Of course they loved you, princess. Just not the way you deserved.”
She swung her head around, pinning him with a frosty glare. “What in the hell are you two talking about? They loved me!”
“We aren’t disputing their love, baby doll. All we’re saying is that they needed lessons in unconditional love.” Randy cringed when he finished, clearly bracing himself for Shannon’s wrath.
She whipped her head around with enough energy to cause a neck injury and punched Randy in the shoulder. “You are a real bastard, Randall Alexander Dalton. You know that? They loved me just fine, thank you very much and have a nice fucking day.”
Predictably, she took flight, jumping from the bed and stalking for the door. She didn’t reach the halfway point before Randy was on her. “Oh, no, you don’t.” He picked her up and carried her back to the bed.
Surprisingly, she didn’t fight Randy. “What is it with you guys? I have two freaking legs.”
Randy patted her ass with a lewd grin only Jared could see. His brother was about to say something bawdy and throw this whole thing off course. “They’re pretty hard to miss.”
Clucking his tongue, Jared grumbled, “We wouldn’t have to haul you around if you would stay in one place long enough to talk to us, princess.”
“Eek,” Shannon screeched as Randy slung her onto the bed and climbed on top of her, not stopping until he straddled her waist. “You don’t have to keep holding me down, Romeo. I am more than willing.” She winked saucily, but her action was too transparent. This wasn’t her seducing them. She wanted to change the direction of this conversation.
Too damn bad. Jared refused to allow her or Randy to derail this train.
“Bullshit,” Randy growled. He leaned forward and kissed her passionately.
Jared contemplated smacking his brother. If he kept that up, the conversation would devolve and they’d end up fucking until talking was out of the realm of possibilities. Hell, he’d been fighting his own libido since they’d walked in, and this was only making it harder. Harder? Oh, yeah, it’s getting harder all right.
“Mmmm.” Shannon closed her eyes. Arching, she exposed the graceful lines of her neck to his brother. “That was ten times more fun than talking. Can we do it again?”
“Randy,” Jared interrupted his brother who had bent his head and kissed the sensitive skin she displayed so openly, warning his brother before one kiss lead to another. “Not now.”
Randy grunted grumpily.
Shannon rolled her eyes, plainly annoyed at his interference. “Party pooper.”
Jared ignored her, not giving her another chance to distract or provoke them. “Shannon, deep down, you know what we’re talking about.”
She shook her head unconvincingly, another round of tears springing to her eyes. He could see the fight in her. However, this time, she battled her tears, his words, and the things she’d locked away when she was sixteen. “No,” she denied, sounding feeble and heavyhearted.
“Yes.” Jared wanted to touch her, but she seemed too fragile for even the barest of caresses. Instead, he remained by her side, hoping that it would be enough. “They made you feel like you were never good enough. No matter what you did, no matter what you said, it wasn’t enough for them.”
Randy grimaced and put the screws to her. “They always made you feel indebted to them, like you owed them something.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. What started off as her disagreeing with them had turned into a defense mechanism, seeking to keep their words out. He wouldn’t be surprised if she used her fingers to plug her ears soon.
Jared couldn’t bear to watch her pain any longer and searched the room for something else to stare at before settling on a landscape painting hanging on the opposing wall. “They controlled everything about you.”
Randy took her face into his large hands, holding her head immobile. “It drove you crazy, but you did it because you loved them unconditionally.”
“No! That’s not true!”
“Yes,” Jared rebutted firmly, his eyes drawn back to her pale face against his will. “You took everything they dished out because that is the way you love, Shannon.”
She sobbed uncontrollably, trying to thrash her head side to side, but Randy held his ground and refused to let her push him away. “Your tender heart was the reason you took Pauley’s abuse for three goddamn years. Not everyone deserves to be loved wholeheartedly, baby doll.”
Her resistance ceased abruptly, and she spat, “I never loved that bastard,” as if the words were repugnant.
“No, you didn’t,” Jared conceded sympathetically and lifted himself up enough that Shannon could see his face. He smiled warmly, letting all of his love shine through. He wanted her to know that he was in no way censuring her. In his eyes, she was all that was good and right in the world. “But you loved your Dad enough to take it just like you loved us enough to sacrifice your own happiness to protect us.”
She sniffled. “It was hard enough to cost my parents their lives. I just couldn’t survive losing you guys to him, too.”
A man’s growl came from the opened doorway, “You are aware that we did not need your damn protection. We could have protected ourselves, and we could have protected you.”
Fuck.
Chapter 20
Shannon couldn’t see Drew standing at the door of their hotel room. Hell, she couldn’t see a damn thing other than Randy’s face in front of her and Jared’s face out of the corner of her eye, not that she really needed to see Drew. She could hear him, and his voice said enough. He sounded completely, totally, and utterly out of control. Having known him for her entire life, she had seen him a million ways, but never this far gone. Drew sounded dangerous, deadly.
She trusted him and knew instinctually that he would never hurt her, but an uneasy shiver still skidded down her spine.
She must have not been the only one to notice his fury. Jared jumped from the bed, acting as the peacemaker. “Drew, right now is not the best time for you two to talk. Calm the fuck down.”
Looking into Randy’s eyes, Shannon whispered, “Please, give us a minute. I can fix this.”
Randy hesitated, the concern in his eyes real and palpable. He didn’t want to leave, but he recognized the need for it. Want versus need clashed inside of him. She could feel it. God, she prayed that he made the right decision for all three of them, not just himself.
“No.” Drew’s response to her softly spoken request surprised her, and she tensed. “I think this is the perfect time. Get out. I need to have a friendly chat with our woman.”
She quickly caught her mistake. Drew hadn’t heard her. He wasn’t even speaking to her.
The air in the room sparked, glowing brightly. Crackling could be heard all around as she waited for Jared and Randy to decide whether they would honor her and Drew’s wishes.
Her breath caught in her chest. This moment was far more than whether to say or go. It was pivotal. Each of their relationships had to be strong for everything to work with them as a whole. They each required one-on-one time and, in this particular case, she and Drew had years of issues to discuss and work through. Drew wanted her trust, fine
. He was going to get it. He wanted the truth. By God, he was going to hear it.
Despite their instincts to protect, Jared and Randy couldn’t shield her from the other man in her life and heart just as Drew couldn’t keep her from them. She had to force that information into their thick skulls until they realized the truth of it.
“Jared. Randy,” she squeaked embarrassingly, her voice sounding mouselike. “It’s okay. We’ll be fine. You can hang out in the hallway if it will make you feel better.”
Offering that option made her stomach turn. She could barely force the words out, but she feared they wouldn’t go otherwise. Apparently, Drew didn’t appreciate her offer any more than she did. He frowned, cursing colorfully.
Randy and Jared fixed their eyes on her face, and she saw the gears turning in each of their minds as they deliberated. Finally, Randy nodded and muttered, “Fine.”
Randy’s begrudging agreement brought a small smile to her face and she mouthed, “Thanks.” He kissed her forehead, his lips fleeting but poignant, then pulled away from her, stomping for the door.
A sudden thud grabbed her attention, and she sat up abruptly, her head spinning at the too-sudden movement. What she found was expected, but no less disturbing.
Randy had Drew, by the collar, thrown against the wall. Getting in Drew’s face, he threatened him. “You are my brother, and I love you. But so help me, you hurt her in any way, and I will personally snap your fucking neck.”
Drew chuckled darkly, unfazed by his younger brother’s forewarning. “You do that.”
Randy bared his teeth, half growling. “That’s a promise.” He dropped Drew to the floor and left.
Jared walked to the door where he paused but didn’t turn around. “This has to be between the two of you. Randy and I can’t work it out for you, no matter how much we want to.” He crossed the threshold, closing the door quietly behind him.
Jared’s parting words sounded sad and far too final for Shannon’s liking, but she couldn’t dwell on it right now. Her focus had to be on the man in the room with her.