Secretly, she had expected to be pumped for information about Justin and about their relationship during their visit. However, Miranda seemed to respect their privacy, and Heather actually liked her. She saw sadness in Miranda’s eyes when she looked at her son. Her opinion of her husband’s mother rose a notch.
Justin opened the car door for her, and she got inside. When he didn’t close it immediately, she glanced up expectantly at him. Her heart thudded as he leaned down toward her. Her lips parted as he kissed her mouth, and she sighed with pleasure from the taste of him.
But all too quickly he drew away, and she was left feeling deprived of gratification, as he got behind the wheel. She looked at him as he started the engine and drove away.
“Your mother is very nice.”
He took her hand and squeezed it, then let it go. “It meant a lot to her that you took the time to come and meet her. I wish you could have met Emma and Flynn. And Rose. She’s adorable.”
Heather’s heart squeezed at the mention of Emma’s baby. “Me, too.”
Justin didn’t miss the flicker of anguish that passed through her eyes before she could conceal it, and he regretted bringing up Emma’s baby. He didn’t want to hurt her. As he looked back at the road, he was sure she was thinking about her miscarriage. Frustration pulled at him. He wanted to ease her pain, but had no idea how to go about it.
He still felt the same agonizing pain when he thought of the baby they’d lost. Maybe together they could find a way to get past it. If they could rebuild their life together, they could try to have another child. He chanced a glanced at her, and prudently decided not to broach the subject yet. But he was going to. It was just a matter of time.
“What do you think about the organization your mother is involved in?” she asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Justin wrinkled his brows and shrugged indifferently. “It’s a worthy cause.”
“And that’s all you think about it?” His words were carefully chosen. Part of their problems had stemmed from their inability to communicate. Maybe they couldn’t talk about their personal feelings just yet, but she saw this as an opportunity to get him to open up a bit.
He gave her a curious look. “What exactly do you want me to say?”
“What you really feel.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and shrugged again. “I just told you—”
“Come on, just think about it.” Heather scooted closer to him. She touched the back of his neck with her fingers. “It must have taken a lot of courage for her to get involved with an agency like that.”
Apparently Justin was following her drift, but it was obvious he wasn’t sure what she expected of him. His idea of handling the past was probably putting it behind him and not talking about it.
“I’m sure it did.”
Realizing she was not gaining much ground, Heather sighed. “You know, she’s not proud of what she did. She truly thought she was doing what was best for you and Emma.”
Justin stretched his shoulders as he maneuvered in the traffic. “I know.”
Heather ran her hand along his arm. “Just think about what she must have been going through. She was so young. Maybe she felt she had no one to turn to.” Resting her palm against his cheek, she said softly, “I know it still hurts.”
He put his hand over hers, and glanced briefly at her, his own eyes haunted. “Nothing hurts as much as losing you.”
“Oh, Justin.” Heather’s heart melted. In his eyes she saw sorrow and regret. She realized that he meant it, that no matter what had happened in the past, he truly wanted her back in his life. She prayed they could make up for lost time, for all the mistakes they had made.
Small steps.
At least today they’d taken a few.
They spent the afternoon sightseeing. While in San Antonio alone, Justin hadn’t had much inclination to tour the notable sites, but he enjoyed exploring them with Heather. After driving along Mission Trail, they visited one of the famous historic missions, then went on to Alamo Plaza to see the Alamo.
Since it was nearing dinnertime by the time they left there, she suggested they head back to the hotel. When they got back, Justin entered the elevator behind her, and as soon as the door closed behind them, she felt the moving cubicle shrink from his presence. Her neck prickled as he placed his hand there, and she closed her eyes. His thumb made a circling motion along her hairline, and Heather stifled a groan of pleasure at his touch. She was losing her objectivity just by being with him. Willing herself not to move closer to him, a sigh of relief escaped her lips. The doors opened on their floor.
As they walked into their suite, Justin said, “I thought we’d eat at one of the restaurants along the River Walk.”
“Sounds good,” she agreed. Leaving him to check his messages, she went into the bedroom and closed the door. A few minutes later, when she came out of the bedroom, Justin was working at his computer.
“I need to do some shopping.” Heather walked toward him as she ran a brush through her hair.
He looked up from his laptop with a mock look of amazement. “Somehow I’m not surprised.”
She playfully threw the brush at him. With quick reflexes he deflected it, and it bounced off his arm and hit the floor. “I didn’t plan on attending a charity dance,” she said in her defense, coming closer. “I have nothing with me to wear.”
He took her hand and tugged her close to him, then pulled her down on his lap.
“Justin!” Her squeal pierced the room as she looked up at him and giggled.
Justin suddenly sobered, then lightly kissed her lips. “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that.” The look in his eyes made her still. “I’ve missed hearing you laugh.” He touched her cheek with his finger. “I’ve missed a lot about you, Heather. It’s been one hell of a long year without you.”
His confession warmed her heart, and his arms around her set her body on fire. “I’ve missed you, too.” However much she wanted to remain distant, even for just a while longer, she couldn’t deny him this truth. “I truly have.”
“Do you mean that?” he asked, his gaze holding hers.
“Yes,” she whispered, yet there was a hesitancy in her voice.
“But?”
“I don’t want to rush into anything.”
To Justin’s way of thinking, if they took it any slower, he’d die from wanting her. “I won’t rush you,” he promised, kissing her lips. “But I’m going to have a good time convincing you.”
Eight
Heather leaned in to Justin, giving herself up to the pleasure of his kiss. Reluctantly, she pulled away. “Uh, shopping, remember?” she said, feeling disoriented from the desire spinning through her.
He tapped her nose with a light kiss. “Before or after dinner?”
“Before,” she said decisively, aware that he’d let her make the choice.
They spent the next couple of hours going from store to store at the River Walk Mall, sharing an easy rapport, touching each other, flirting a little, and enjoying being in each other’s company. Heather felt encouraged. He’d had done everything in his power so far to make their reconciliation as smooth as possible. Still, there were things they needed to iron out that they seemed to be avoiding. It was always on her mind.
After trying on several gowns, each of which met with Justin’s approval, she ended up choosing an emerald green, when Justin told her it was his favorite choice because it brought out the color of her eyes.
When they’d finished shopping for her, Heather suggested they pick out some clothes for him. Justin balked at first, but she was insistent.
“I’d love to see your buns in a pair of jeans,” she told him, and sent him a seductive smile.
“Damn,” Justin muttered, accepting defeat. “I’ve never cared much for them, but how can I disappoint you?”
Later that night after dinner, they decided to stroll along the cobblestone walkways. The chatter of tourists and locals laughing and
talking filled the air around them. They paused as they crossed over one of the arched bridges to watch a boat go by on the San Antonio River. Nearby, a baby squealed, and Heather started. At that moment, she would have given anything to have Timmy with her. Tears crested her eyes. She missed him so much! She’d used the opportunity while Justin was bathing and dressing to call her mother, but it hadn’t taken away the distress of her separation from her baby. It would still be days before she could hold him and kiss him.
Justin noticed the change in her mood and reached for her hand. “Are you all right?” Silently, she nodded, and he quietly said, “Honey, we can have another baby.”
“I know.” She realized he thought her sadness came from thinking about the baby they’d lost. “It’s just that—”
“We could start all over again, Heather. Start another family, get back what we used to have—if you’d just give us a chance.”
“I’m trying,” she told him, flooded with guilt. She was so very tempted to tell him then, to get it over with. But he pulled her to him, and every thought left her mind as she rested her head on his shoulder, letting him end the war within her, without ever being aware of doing so. They stood silently in each other’s arms as he stroked her head, and the world around them disappeared when he lifted her face and pressed his lips on hers.
There was an unspoken promise in his kiss, in the gentle yet restrained way he held her to him. She could feel the tension mount between them, the power of his kiss slowly, provocatively tearing down the barriers she’d built around her heart.
She wasn’t used to losing control, had used hurt and pain to keep the barriers up for so long that she was taken aback by how easily he was able to ravage her senses. It was getting harder to keep him at bay because she wanted her husband in the most intimate of ways.
When she suggested going back to their suite, Justin readily agreed. Once there, she readied herself for bed, aware more than ever of the sexual tension building between them, her body still on fire, her desire for her husband a burning, aching need.
But old doubts began to plague her as she climbed into bed. Moments later, Justin joined her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her hungrily, and Heather gave herself up to the moment, tamping down her reservations, wanting him inside her.
“Ah, Heather.” Justin ran his hand along her rib cage to her breast, caressing her through the thin silk of her gown. His fingers toyed with the bud of her nipple, and she sighed pleasurably. Her hips pressed against him as his mouth claimed hers again. “I want you back as my wife. Now.” He rained kisses along her chin and neck, then lower, edging her gown up over her belly to bare her breasts. He kissed one, then the other, his tongue leaving a slick wet trail along her skin.
“Justin.” Heather writhed beneath him, her senses swirling. “Oh,” she murmured between clenched teeth as he covered her nipple with his mouth and sucked her hard.
“Say you want me, too.” He shoved her nightgown up over her head, then pinned her arms above her. Her back arched, lifting her to him. He groaned low in his throat as he pleasured her, building the intensity inside her body.
Her hips moved as his mouth moved lower, kissing her belly, then lower still, his tongue wet and warm. He slipped his hands beneath her hips, clutching her bottom.
“Tell me you want me to love you,” he demanded, his voice husky with need.
Love.
“Wait.” Stiffening, she came up on her elbows as she drew her legs up. What was she doing? Could she go through with this, reestablish this part of their relationship, without knowing if Justin truly loved her? If there truly was enough love between them to make their marriage work?
Startled by her abrupt withdrawal, Justin stared at her. She was barely able to make out his features in the darkness, but she noticed the tightening of his jaw line and heard his quick intake of breath.
“Heather?”
“I’m sorry. I thought I was ready for this, but I’m not.” She scooted farther away, distancing herself physically, as she’d done mentally. Her desire for sexual fulfillment had temporarily confused her, clouding her thoughts. Her breasts were full, aching for his touch, and she stared at him, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she hurriedly put her gown back on.
She’d gotten carried away. He was probably furious with her, and rightly so. But how could she explain to him that desire couldn’t replace love? She wanted to believe that he loved her, but he’d said nothing to relieve her fears that this could all be a mistake. Everything had happened so fast, had blindsided her. “I’m sorry,” she blurted again, her voice cracking. “I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
Justin groaned, then rolled on his back, his breathing labored. He rubbed his face wearily, willing his body to calm down. Hell, he’d told her he wouldn’t rush her. He’d actually promised he wouldn’t.
“Justin?”
“What?” It came out gruff. His body was still screaming for release, and it was going to take him a few minutes to get total control. Or some privacy.
“I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
For a while, neither spoke. A few minutes later, when he felt more in power of his body, he rolled toward her. She hadn’t moved, was still sitting in a tight ball, staring at him and looking frightened.
“Come here,” he said, his voice still a little raw. She didn’t move. “Come on,” repeated, this time a little more gently. She slowly straightened her legs and edged down on the bed beside him. He drew her against him, settling her backside against his thighs.
He kissed her neck, then murmured, “It’s okay.” But frustration was still evident in his tone. “Look at me.”
She twisted her head in his direction.
“Sweetheart, I want to make love to you,” he said evenly. “As you can easily tell, more than anything, I want to be inside you. But when we make love, it will be a commitment to our marriage. Once I have you,” he whispered huskily, “I’ll never let you go again.” He kissed her mouth, then rolled on his back, maneuvering her body and taking her with him. Her leg intimately straddled his as she snuggled next to his chest. “And that’s a promise.”
They were startled awake early the next morning by the telephone. Justin answered it on the second ring. He talked quietly, not wanting to disturb Heather, but when he glanced back at her she was already sitting up in bed. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone and looked at her, his expression pasty white.
“That was Miranda. Her brother Ryan is ill,” he explained.
“What is it?” she asked, her heart thudding. The first person she’d thought about when the phone rang was Timmy. Relief washed over her, even as she began to feel concerned about Justin’s uncle.
“They don’t know yet.”
“Has he been hospitalized?”
Justin shook his head. “No, but he’s under a doctor’s care.”
Heather rubbed the sleep from her eyes, then ran a hand through her tangled hair. “Do you want to go to see him?”
Justin’s expression lifted a bit. “Would you mind? This is supposed to be our time together.”
She touched his cheek. “Of course not. They’re your family.”
They are my family. Justin thought about it as he went into the bathroom to shower. He was beginning to care deeply for them, especially Miranda. Now, he reasoned, if he could only reach Heather, his life would be almost perfect.
As he came out of the bathroom, she was hanging up the telephone. “Everything all right?”
“Yes. I just like to keep in touch with Mom,” she explained.
Justin nodded. “Sure. I imagine she’s concerned about you.” Heather and her mother were close, and he’d sometimes envied their relationship.
“I won’t be long,” she assured him, watching him pull a blue suit from the closet.
“Why don’t you wear the jeans and shirt we bought yesterday?”
His brow lifted as he considered her suggestion. The idea of wearing the je
ans still seemed foreign to him.
“Come on. They’ll look great.” Her tone was convincing.
Finally he nodded, and she disappeared into the bathroom. When she came out of the bedroom a while later, Justin was leaning over his computer. Heather took one look at his backside, and desire coursed through her.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have talked you into those jeans,” she said, appreciating the way they hugged his hips and muscular thighs. Heavens! Though she’d guessed he’d look good in a pair of jeans, she’d never expected that admiring him would turn her on. She’d created her own kind of torture. Walking over to him, she put her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind.
“If I’d thought even for a minute that they’d cause this kind of reaction with you,” he stated, “I’d have worn them a long time ago.” He turned in her arms and gave her a seductive look.
She lifted her lips for his kiss as she cupped his bottom. “You’re too sexy for your own good,” she complained, teasing him with a wink.
“Keep that up and we’re never going to get out of here,” he warned her. He kissed her hard, then set her away from him.
He picked up his keys and walked to the door, leaving her with an incredible sense of longing.
They arrived at the Double Crown Ranch in Red Rock about mid-morning. Having thought it wasn’t possible to be any more impressed by the wealth of the Fortunes, Heather now admitted to herself that she’d been wrong. Ryan Fortune’s ranch was, to say the least, imposing. She walked beside Justin toward the massive adobe house, which was surrounded by a sandstone wall. They passed through the arched entryway and followed a curving stone walkway toward the house.
Despite her decision to accompany Justin, Heather felt a bit nervous about meeting more of his family. Being introduced one-on-one to Miranda had been easy compared to the idea of encountering the Fortune family on a moment’s notice. As they approached, the antique wooden door opened and Miranda greeted them. Miranda hugged Heather and then Justin, who surprised Heather by allowing his mother to do so.
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