When he said nothing, she got in the car and drove away.
Eleven
Justin walked over to his car and pulled their luggage from the trunk. One thing he’d always admired about Kathryn was that she did mind her own business. Until now. As much as he’d wanted to argue with her, he hadn’t even tried because he wouldn’t have known what to say.
He’d missed his son growing in her womb, missed his birth. He would have liked to have been there for that—to see his son as he was brought into the world, to share that special moment with his wife. A new surge of anger swept through him as he stalked toward the house. As he walked inside, he set their suitcases in the foyer. Heather came in from the den.
“What are you doing?” she asked, when she saw his suitcases along with hers.
“Moving in. What does it look like?”
For a fraction of a minute, she foolishly believed he’d softened, that he was willing to forgive her. Then her gaze went to his face, and his stern expression told her differently. Irritated, she said, “You can’t move in here!”
“I assure you I can, and I am.” He reached over and relieved her of Timmy, then tucked the baby in his arms. The child turned his gaze on the stranger holding him, and in that moment, Justin lost his heart.
“You can’t just move in here,” she repeated, her thoughts in turmoil. Not after today. Not if you don’t love me.
Justin’s lips flattened. “My name’s still on the deed, isn’t it?”
She opened her mouth to argue, then clamped it shut. Steam fairly rose from her.
He ignored the pull on his heart as he watched her fume. He didn’t want to want her, hated that he couldn’t control his need for her. He turned away, and blocked her from his sight. “I want to be near Timmy. I want him to know who I am.” His son was never going to wonder where he came from, or if he was loved.
He wasn’t going to grow up without a father. Not the way Justin had.
Still holding the baby, Justin picked up his own suitcase and headed for the back of the house. He walked into the spare bedroom and deposited the suitcase on the floor with a loud thud.
It had taken every bit of his control not to turn in the opposite direction and head toward the bedroom he’d shared with Heather. Now that he’d had her back in his bed, it wasn’t so easy to forget the softness of her skin, the taste of her body as he made love to her, the ease with which she welcomed him into her. Despite the stretch of time without her, she’d imbedded herself in his soul.
Damn her! She’d ruined everything!
Heather had been holding her breath, a little ray of hope inside whispering that he was going to insist that they sleep together. She realized it wasn’t going to happen when he didn’t even spare their bedroom a glance, and she felt foolish for letting her imagination run wild.
Hurt made her shoulders sag as she walked behind him. He’d fooled her, after all. Because he’d started to open up to her, she’d begun to think he had changed. But he hadn’t, not really. She could easily see that he was falling back into his old pattern of closing himself off from her.
His rejection before had been difficult, but she’d managed to pick up her life and move on. But now—now Heather had had a glimpse of the happiness they could have shared.
As she watched him sit on the bed and talk to Timmy, an emptiness stole over her, robbing her of the ability to fight for him, for their marriage. If this was the way he wanted it, so be it. She wasn’t going to risk her heart again.
They barely spoke to each other the rest of the evening, other than to talk briefly about what to eat for dinner. Their conversation was even stilted when Justin insisted on helping her with Timmy’s bath. While Heather was disillusioned in him as her lover and partner for life, she couldn’t have been more mistaken about his wanting to father his child. Every single moment the baby had been awake, Justin had been either holding him, feeding him or playing with him.
When she put her son down for the night, she had to force Justin to leave the room, knowing Timmy wouldn’t fall asleep unless left alone. Unaware of the strained relationship between his parents, the baby cooed in his crib, making them linger near him. Already, her child was learning how to manipulate them.
In the middle of the night, Heather came awake, startled out of a restless sleep. She sat upright in bed. The events of the previous day came rushing back at her as she threw back the covers, unsure of what had disturbed her sleep. An eerie feeling crawled slowly up her spine, and she slipped out of bed, pulling her robe on as she walked toward Timmy’s room.
She stopped at the door, startled to find Justin already there, lifting their son in his arms.
“What is it? What’s wrong with him?” she asked, looking at Justin in the little bit of light his night-light provided. Her anxious expression found his.
“I don’t know.” Sounding mystified, Justin patted Timmy’s back, trying to quiet his whimpering. Heather reached for the baby. As Justin passed Timmy to her, the baby promptly threw up on them both. Most of it hit Justin in the chest, then slid down to the waistband of his pants.
“Oh, goodness.”
Heather grabbed for a nearby cloth, and began cleaning Timmy. Justin tried his best to help, using another cloth to wipe himself and Heather. He felt more in the way than anything. Before he knew it, she had the situation under control. She redressed Timmy, then carried him with her as she went to her own room so she could change.
Justin met her in the hallway as he came out of the spare bedroom. His skin was pale, his expression concerned. “Is he all right? Isn’t there a doctor you can call? Maybe we should go to the hospital.” He felt helpless, and it disconcerted him.
Heather shook her head. “Calm down. He doesn’t feel feverish, so let’s give it a little while. Maybe his dinner just didn’t agree with him.” She walked down the hallway toward the living room, Justin right on her heels, firing questions at her left and right.
“Is that possible?”
“Of course.”
“Why?”
She shrugged impatiently. “I don’t know why. He has a tiny tummy. Maybe he ate too much.”
“What are you going to do?” he asked, as she sat down on the sofa. He couldn’t believe she wasn’t more concerned.
Heather gave him a barely patient look. “Keep an eye on him. If he isn’t better by morning, we’ll take him to the doctor.”
Minutes turned into hours, hours into morning. Timmy was awake and fussy the entire time. Justin watched Heather tend to his son and tried to help her when he could. Mothering came easily to her, he decided, as she bathed the baby with a cool compress, fed him a little water in a bottle and patted his back.
Justin had never been around children enough to know what to do when one was sick. He was both amazed and impressed with his wife’s ability to handle the situation. He took turns with her, walking Timmy when her arms tired.
As the sun was finally making its appearance, the baby began to tire, and Heather decided to take him to her bed and lie down with him. Though she didn’t invite Justin into her bedroom, he followed her inside and sat in a nearby chair, as she settled the infant beside her.
A few minutes later they were both asleep. Tenderness filled Justin’s heart, and he found it harder to hold on to his anger. He still didn’t believe that Heather’s actions were justified, but he had to ask himself if Kathryn was right. Were Heather and Timmy worth losing, just so he could hang on to his pride? To his anger?
She lied to you. Would she really have told you about your son if you hadn’t gone to see her?
Despite his need to forgive Heather, his distrust was strong and deep. She was the only person in the world he had believed would never hurt him like this. He couldn’t find the courage to trust her again.
By late that same evening, Timmy was his old self again, and Justin’s anxiety eased. He spent the next two weeks just enjoying being a father. Maybe it was his imagination, but he was sure the baby recognized him
now. Timmy cooed and smiled, when Justin blew lightly into his face. Justin wasn’t sure, but it seemed to him that the baby even turned his head when he heard his dad’s voice.
He was learning this father thing, and was amazed at what time and attention a little tyke could demand. They were either feeding him, cleaning him or entertaining him most of the day. There were a couple of breaks when Timmy took naps, but even then, Justin felt on edge, just waiting for his son to awaken so he could hold him.
And his heart ached just as hard as he watched his wife. She was everything a man could want—a beautiful woman, a wonderful mother. Justin worked hard on his emotions, trying to put what she’d done in perspective, trying to understand her motives.
He wanted them to be a family, wanted to be a part of his son’s life. If he could come to terms with her deceit, they could start all over, be a family. But as hard as he tried, he couldn’t get past the pain. Even knowing he was risking what he most wanted in his life, he couldn’t find it in his heart to forgive her.
Heather was just as aware of relations between them worsening. She walked into the den and saw Justin playing with Timmy, giving the gurgling baby all his attention. An empty ache settled inside her as she watched him entertaining his son. She couldn’t go on like this, she decided. She thought she’d go crazy if she didn’t get a break from the tension.
The telephone rang, and Heather picked it up, then, after a few moments, handed Justin the receiver.
“It’s your mother,” she said, her expression questioning.
Justin covered the mouthpiece. “I gave her this number. I wanted her to know where to reach me.” Leaving Heather with Timmy, he walked out of the room, stopping just outside the door.
Heather’s first thought as she listened to him talking was that for someone who a few short months ago hadn’t known who his family was, he was certainly in close contact with them. Then she overheard Justin promising to return to Texas, and felt a sense of relief. Since they weren’t getting along that well, she could deal with a few days alone with her son. But when she heard Justin telling Miranda that he’d bring Timmy with him, she saw red.
As soon as he disconnected the call and came back into the room, she jumped on him. “Did you just tell your mother that you’re taking Timmy with you?” she demanded, picking the baby up from the floor and standing in front of her husband, her expression challenging, her eyes blazing.
“Yes,” he said, his tone curt. “Thanks to you, she has a grandson she’s never seen. I promised I’d bring him with me.”
Heather’s face contorted with fury. Here again, he was making decisions that affected her, and now Timmy, without even consulting her. “You should have asked me first.”
“You should have told me I have a son,” Justin countered. She flushed, and he let his gaze sweep her, wishing again that he could let this ache in his heart heal. But how could he ever trust her again?
Heather ignored the barb. “What did Miranda want?”
“I need to sign some papers.” Justin had been expecting the call. “Miranda and her sister-in-law, Mary Ellen, are having some legal documents prepared, declaring that I’m Miranda’s son and that as such, I’m entitled to part of the Fortunes’ wealth.”
The fact that he would be receiving ten-million dollars was not nearly as surprising as learning that he had a three-month-old child. He didn’t need the money. What he really needed was peace in his heart. He just couldn’t seem to find it.
“And I am taking my son to Texas to meet his grandmother. You’re welcome to accompany us,” he said stiffly. The offer didn’t sound sincere.
“Well, thank you so much,” Heather returned, looking as if she could murder him. “And don’t you even think I won’t be going wherever my son is going.”
Traveling with a child had taken a lot more planning and packing than Heather had anticipated. By the time they arrived at the hotel in San Antonio, Justin had arranged for a crib to be delivered. Timmy was exhausted, so Heather put him right to bed.
That left her and Justin alone. Ignoring him, she sat on the edge of the bed and watched her son in slumber, exhausted from his travels. He was the innocent pawn in this war of hearts. It didn’t seem fair. It needed to end, and she faced the fact that Justin was right. A baby couldn’t heal their marriage.
She had thought that Timmy would bring them closer together. Instead, Justin was using Timmy, and the fact that she’d kept the baby a secret, to keep her at a distance. She knew she was at fault. She should have told Justin about Timmy when she’d first gotten pregnant.
Had she deliberately convinced herself that keeping Timmy’s birth a secret was the best thing, so she wouldn’t have to see Justin again? So she wouldn’t have to face her own fears?
All men aren’t like your father. Her mother’s words came back to haunt her, reminding her that she was still not giving her trust to Justin. If she’d trusted him from the beginning, none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t have left her.
It was easy to give up, not to fight for him. Walking away was the coward’s way.
Maybe Justin just wasn’t ready to believe that she would have told him about their son. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to let her back into his heart. Maybe he just needed some more time.
He’d been hurt so much throughout his life. He was learning, too. Learning to love, to trust unconditionally. Heather told herself to be patient. Justin did love her. He couldn’t make love to her so tenderly with love and passion if he didn’t care for her. Those were the little hints that he’d given her to show her how much he cared.
Heather wasn’t a quitter. She loved Justin, dammit!
She wasn’t going to give up on him, wasn’t ready to give up on their marriage.
She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. They weren’t due to go to Miranda’s house until the next afternoon. How was she going to get through the hours with Justin until then?
Formulating a plan, she decided to kill him with kindness. Her presence didn’t seem to matter to him; he buried himself in work unless their son was awake, and then he spent his time with the baby. Heather straightened the room and picked up Timmy’s things, making her presence known so that Justin couldn’t totally ignore her.
She even dropped Timmy’s toy on the floor then, as she bent to pick it up, she brushed Justin’s arm with her hand, touching him a little longer than necessary. He tensed and gave her a hard look, his eyes cold and distant. Her heart ached, but she continued moving about the room in his view, refusing to just disappear and cower from his black mood.
Justin tried his best, she’d give him that. During their meals, he ate in silence, until she began asking him questions about his mother and the meeting he was going to. He was evasive, short with his answers, but he did respond to her, and that was what was important.
She wondered what would happen that evening at bedtime, since there was only the one bed. Maybe she could gain some ground there, she thought, planning a sneak attack on him as he slept beside her. Heather wasn’t going to push too hard, because she wanted Justin to realize on his own that he loved her, that they had something special between them.
But as the evening passed, he made no mention of their sleeping arrangements.
When she decided to go to bed, Justin told her he had work to do and would be up late. Eventually she gave up and went to the bedroom alone. She stared at the bed they’d made love in, and tears gathered in her eyes.
How long was it going to take? she wondered. Feeling let down, she fell into bed, exhausted from her thoughts and troubles. Well, tomorrow was yet another day. She’d just start all over again with him.
She never heard Justin come into the room to bed, but the next morning she awoke and found him sleeping beside her. Unable to stop herself, she reached over and touched him, running her finger over his shoulder and arm. He stirred slightly, then settled back into sleep.
Heather moved closer to him, wanting to be next to him if only for a
little while. She scooted until her body was close to him, then gently rolled over, letting her leg fall over his. Without waking him, she pressed even closer and snuggled up to him, resting her hand on his chest, thinking she would only lie there a few minutes. He would never have to know.
The next time she opened her eyes, Justin was staring at her with a dark, intense gaze. She thought she caught a look of tenderness in his blue eyes before he turned from her, got out of bed and went to take his shower.
That gave her hope. Maybe he was beginning to think about what he felt for her. Maybe he was beginning to realize what he stood to lose if he didn’t let go of his anger. She’d give him some time to think about his feelings. After all, she hadn’t known her own true feelings for some time. Not until Justin had come back into her life.
By the time she’d finished her shower, he was back at the desk working. Instead of wearing the casual jeans and shirts they’d bought together, he’d chosen one of his dark suits. Heather considered that another sign—a subtle one, but a sign just the same. He was distancing himself from her.
No longer able to endure his silence, a couple of hours before they were due to go to Miranda’s, Heather confronted him. “I’d like to talk with you.”
That got enough of his attention that he stopped what he was doing and looked at her, his eyes cold and unfeeling.
“You were right.”
He raised a brow. Still he said nothing.
“About a child not being enough to save our marriage.” She swallowed past the knot in her throat.
He sat back in his chair, but his shoulders tensed as if he was bracing himself for her words. “And?”
He wasn’t giving her an inch. Heather fought for more. She believed the love he felt for her was still in his heart, but now it was buried beneath angry words and hurtful accusations—and her deceit.
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