“Because he’s an asshole,” she responded without missing a beat.
“And because you’re a challenge and you didn’t fall over yourself when you were around him,” I said, answering my own question. “And because he knows you’re special and he didn’t want to risk you being free for someone else to realize how special you are. And he knows how talented you are and he knew he’d have a better chance at keeping you at his studio if he was sexing you up regularly.”
One of the women looked over at me with raised eyebrows, so I pushed off of the sink and left the restroom, where the sounds of the restaurant quickly enveloped me. I was fired up and continued from the hallway, “You’re loyal and while you were involved with him, you weren’t going to go to another studio. Or better yet, strike out on your own. You are a better photographer than he is. You listen to people and get them to talk and then bring out whatever their truth is. You’re not just better than him, you are a brilliant photographer! And while he’s skating by due to his name and former modeling career, you are building a career off of your talent. And let’s be honest, you only wanted him for what he could teach you about photography and his connections. So you finding Josh and Amber was truly a blessing in disguise…you weren’t really into the relationship and you weren’t happy playing second fiddle at his studio. And now, you’re free. He was dumb, but even he knew that your loyalty would keep you employed with him as long as you two were in a relationship.”
A short, dry laugh burst out of her. “He was dumb, wasn’t he?”
“Totally. But he was pretty,” I admitted with a nod she couldn’t see.
“He was so pretty and yet, so dumb,” Summer agreed loudly. “You always make everything better. For that reason alone, I’ve already forgiven the fact that you share the same last name as my now arch-nemesis.”
I laughed, “Jones is a common last name. You can’t fault me for that!”
“No, but seriously… thank you for being the best best friend in the world. You simultaneously made me feel better about my breakup and my lack of employment in less than fifteen minutes. You are wise beyond your years, my friend.”
After a brief pause, she continued, “Um, I’m hearing strange music. I take it you are not at home?”
Peeking around the corner, I spotted Robert sipping his wine and scrolling through his phone. Although he was quite handsome, he was so dull. “No, I’m at this Italian restaurant with Robert,” I sighed.
“Oh no! I hope I didn’t interrupt your date with Robert Drowsy Jr,” Summer deadpanned.
Laughing loudly, I caused a few tables nearby to look over and take notice of me. Ducking my head back around the corner so I couldn’t be seen anymore, I snickered into the phone. “You are ridiculous.”
“No Autumn, you are ridiculous,” she countered teasingly. “Are you having fun? I’m guessing not because you picked up the phone and talked to me for the last fifteen minutes.”
“It’s not that he’s a bad guy. At all. He’s just dull. Even when he’s excited, he’s still really boring about it. You met him so think about that brief interaction…now imagine it times five for a couple of hours. ”
“Yikes! Robert is good-looking and he’s nice so I get why you agreed to go out with him initially. But dammit, if this is the third date and he still keeps forgetting to bring his personality, drop him.”
“Yeah, that’s what’s happening tonight. I felt he deserved to be let down in person. I’m going to let him down gently. But for the record, if he had more substance, I would be all over him. But he is just so…”
“You are the romantic. I’m the realist. So let’s call it what it is. Robert is as boring as Josh is dumb.”
“Ha! That’s the truth.” When I peeked around the corner again, I saw the waiter drop off the check and Robert looking around as if he were trying to find me. “Robert is looking for me so I need to get back to the table, but I’ll call you tomorrow to give you tonight’s recap. Now seriously, are you okay?”
“Yes. I am now. Thanks, Auty.”
“Anytime. And remember, everything happens for a reason. You found out the truth about Josh so now you’re free.”
“Free falling.”
“Tom Petty.”
“And the heartbreakers,” Summer laughed. “See what we did there. Full circle. We are the heartbreakers.”
Laughing, I responded, “That’s not a good thing.”
“I’m sorry I ruined your breakup dinner.”
“Goodbye, Summer,” I said in a sing-song voice before disconnecting the call and dropping the phone in my clutch.
Squaring my shoulders, I walked back to the table I shared with Robert. He quickly jumped to his feet when he saw me approaching. He smiled a warm smile and I felt a pit in my stomach. I hate hurting people’s feelings. But this needs to be done. It would be even worse for me to lead him on, I thought as I smiled back and took my seat.
“Robert, dinner has been lovely. Thank you for my meal. Please allow me to pay for it,” I offered.
“No, not at all. I will not have you paying for your own dinner, let alone my dinner,” Robert countered, scratching his temple.
“Please. Allow me this one opportunity.” I leaned forward holding his hazel eyes in my gaze, willing him to relent and let me pay for dinner.
He stared back at me and I saw something cross his face. His lip quirked up and he gave me a lopsided grin. His short dark brown hair looked fluffy and soft as it framed his deceptively young face. He looked like he could be twenty-one; however, at thirty-eight, he was ten years older than me.
“That’s not the way a gentleman shows respect for his lady,” he answered, his eyes sparkling.
Time to let him down gently, I thought as I said slowly, “But it is the way a woman shows her friend she appreciates his friendship.”
Robert’s face slowly shifted from hopefulness to disappointment at a gut-wrenchingly slow pace. His eyes dropped to the check that lay between us. I hated to hurt such a nice guy’s feelings, but he deserved to find someone who appreciated all he had to offer. I quickly glanced around the room and saw happy couples and dinner companions enjoying each other’s company. Some were laughing and smiling while others were in deeper conversations. When my eyes returned to Robert, he gave me a sad smile.
“So to be clear, friendship is the only thing you’re looking for out of this,” Robert said sadly as he gestured between the two of us.
“Correct,” I said with a slight nod. “I think you are a great guy Robert. But there is no romantic future for us.”
Robert nodded slowly as if he were thinking over what I had said. Then he raised his finger to signal the waiter and pulled out a few bills from his wallet. “I appreciate your honesty, Autumn. A lot can be said about a woman who is direct and straight to the point. It kind of—.” The waiter appeared interrupting Robert’s sentence.
“Yes sir?” the waiter asked.
“Thank you. Keep the change,” Robert said kindly, handing the waiter the check and cash.
“Thank you sir. You two have a wonderful night.” The waiter scurried off toward the back of the restaurant.
My eyes never left Robert’s. He fiddled with the stem of his wine glass before finishing off the red wine sangria. “I understand and I appreciate your honesty. We should get going. I have an early morning.”
He stood quickly and helped me out of my chair. With his hand just grazing the small of my back, he led me out of the restaurant in silence. I didn’t know what to say so I looked at my feet as I fiddled with my clutch. The chill in the air made me shiver once we were completely out of the restaurant.
Gathering the nerve to see the hurt in his eyes, I turned to look at him. Did I rush to judgment about him? Yes, he is boring. The conversation is almost nonexistent unless we are talking about our jobs. But he is also polite, well-mannered, good looking, and sweet. And those qualities are definitely qualities I look for in a man, I contemplated.
Letting my eyes
move over him, I sighed. But I also need someone who is going to communicate with me and be adventurous and have fun and is interesting and… yes, I did the right thing. Holding his gaze, I felt the confirmation I needed. He was undeniably handsome and kind but he wasn’t the one. He was just a nice guy who I didn’t feel a spark with and didn’t have romantic feelings for.
I don’t want to waste time on guys that don’t matter. I want to fall in love. I want butterfly-inducing, heart racing, true love. I want to not be able to sleep because he’s on my mind. I want to dream about him when I finally do fall asleep. I want it all. And I’ll know it when I when I feel it. And unfortunately, I knew we didn’t have a future after the first date… but I kept dating him. That’s not fair. It’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to me, I thought as we stared at each other in silence.
“Robert…” I started and then trailed off when he shook his head.
“It’s okay, Autumn,” he interrupted nonchalantly as he hailed a taxi. Once he was sure he’d secured the ride, he looked at me and smiled. The warm smile didn’t meet his sad eyes.
“I hope we can be friends,” I said truthfully before shifting my gaze to the yellow taxi pulling up to the curb.
Robert opened the back door and gestured for me to get in. I slid in, holding my skirt down as I made room for him to climb in next to me. When I looked back over at him, he was still standing in the opened door.
I gave him a questioning look before I asked, “Are you coming?”
“I’m just going to walk. I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. I’ll see you around, Autumn. Take care.”
Before I could say anything in response, Robert shut the door and walked away. What was that? I thought as I gave the driver my address. I’d never had a breakup go that smoothly before.
I paid the driver and then stepped out in front of my home. Every time I pulled up, I marveled at it. The row house was given to me by my favorite aunt, Denise, when she passed away three years ago. It took six months before I decided I wasn’t going to sell it… and six more months to decide to move in it.
The structure wasn’t opulent; however, it was in Wellington, Maryland, a nice neighborhood right on the border of Washington DC and Maryland. All of the row houses were either dark blue or brown. But my aunt’s home—now my home—was a rich brick red that stood out between the blue and brown that surrounded it.
Taking the steps two at a time, I quickly entered the house. Although the neighborhood was a safe area, coming home to an empty house on a quiet Sunday night seemed like the beginning scene of a horror movie. When the door was shut and locked behind me, I dropped my keys in the bowl on the table by the door.
Per usual, I did a quick scan of the rooms downstairs before heading up to my bedroom. Living room…empty. Formal room…empty. Kitchen…empty. Downstairs guest bedroom…empty, I thought as I concluded my walk-thru. As soon as I walked back to the stairs to go to my bedroom, the ticking of the gold clock that took up a sizeable chunk of the back wall in the formal room went off. I jumped and then ran as fast as I could up the steps.
Cutting on the hall light, I peeked into the slightly smaller bedroom just off the stairs. It was fully furnished with my aunt’s bedroom furniture. I didn’t want to get rid of it, but I couldn’t sleep with it in the master bedroom. The Victorian style bedroom furniture was luxurious—the king sized bed had a high, decorative cherry wood backboard and matched perfectly with the high, decorative dresser and wardrobe. Her furniture was much more lavish than the furniture I purchased, but I needed a fresh start.
Taking my shoes off before entering my bedroom, I let my toes sink into the plush cream carpet. Tossing my handbag onto the gold and cream chaise lounge, I proceeded to strip. My earring tangled in my hair and I was so focused on getting it out that I stubbed my toe on the wooden platform of my California King bed.
Shoot, I grumbled.
Once I got my earring out, I paused for just a moment and exhaled. My bedroom was my sanctuary. And although every other room still felt like Aunt Denise’s, my bedroom felt like my space.
Twenty minutes later, I was freshly showered and standing at the threshold of my closet. My wardrobe was colorful and vibrant. I owned jeans, but my preference was dresses. My hand ran across my color coded closet until the tips of my fingers hit the delicate fabric of the cream silk dress I kept in the back. Fondling the fabric, memories flooded my brain.
When he told me he had something important he wanted to talk to me about at the auction, I told my family and friends that I thought that night would be the night he proposed. I got my hair and nails done and purchased this dress, I reminisced running my fingers over the material. We had a great time. We danced all night. And when he took me to the roof to break up with me, I didn’t see it coming. How could I be in love with someone who was not in love with me?
I let the dress slip through my fingers as I shook the memory out of my head. Even though it had been four years ago, I hadn’t been able to wear the beautiful dress since the night of the disaster relief charity auction…the same night Derrick broke my heart.
Even after all these years, why can’t I shake it? I wondered as I pulled a burgundy shift dress and a pink short sleeved blazer out of my closet. I’m not still in love with him. I’m over him. Completely. I just don’t understand why I can’t seem to find anyone who makes me feel as alive as he made me feel.
The beeping of my phone dragged me back into the present. Climbing into my bed, I cut off the light and grabbed my phone off of the end table. Clicking the email icon on my phone, I saw I had several work emails and one personal email from Olivia. I was about to delete it because she typically only sent chain letters, but something in the subject line gave me pause.
“Freelance photographers needed,” I whispered aloud in the darkened room. Clicking to open the email, I scrolled down past the chain letter to the initial email—a companywide email with a job description.
With a smile, I hit forward, closed out of my email, and opened my text messages.
Autumn Jones: You know how we’ve been talking about you moving to Wellington since I moved here last year? Well now is the time. Check your email. Everything happens for a reason.
**********
Chapter 3: Summer
I sent my virtual photography portfolio to Style Magazine as soon as I woke up and saw Autumn’s email Monday morning. Within four hours, I received a call requesting a Friday afternoon interview. Knowing that the fast pace in which things seemed to be moving was a good sign, I decided to start fresh.
I cut a few inches off of my long, blonde hair and decided to play up my natural wavy texture. I had the beautician highlight the color to give it depth and definition. I donated a bunch of clothing to Goodwill and searched thrift shops, department stores, and boutiques to revamp my monochromatic wardrobe with different colored jackets, sweaters, and shoes. I’d always been the kind of girl who would wear all-black. Everything—dresses, skirts, pants, everything!—in my closet was black. I wasn’t opposed to colorful clothing, it’s just that black worked for every occasion and it was so low maintenance. And since I rolled straight from grad school to working adult at Josh Jones Photography, I never took a moment to buy anything that wasn’t low maintenance.
Or at least that’s how I’m justifying spending $500 on new clothes, shoes, and accessories without a guaranteed job in sight, I thought ruefully.
I never wore makeup except for special occasions, but I decided to accentuate my blue eyes and pouty lips by visiting the MAC counter. After purchasing a few small items, I felt excited about the changes I was making in my life. By Wednesday, I sold most of my furniture. With the extra cash, I purchased two new lenses and put the rest of my money in the bank. By Thursday, I was packed and ready to drive my red Chevy Camaro 2LS coupe to Wellington, Maryland. Unfortunately, I couldn’t leave until Friday because I needed to formally break my lease and pay the last month’s rent.
Waking up bright
and early Friday morning, I was showered and meeting with the landlord at 6am. Within ten minutes, I was finally on the road to my interview with Style Magazine.
And on the road to my new life, I thought as I glanced in the rearview mirror at the apartment complex I’d called home since grad school. Turning on the radio, I smiled as I heard one of my favorite songs playing.
It’s meant to be, I thought as I sung “Dream On” and sped away.
The six-hour drive from Charlotte, NC to Wellington, MD seemed different this time. I visited Autumn at least once a month and each time the drive seemed to take forever. However, this time, it seemed as though I arrived shortly after I pulled out of my former apartment complex. Picking up my cell phone, I called Autumn at her office.
“Autumn Jones speaking.”
“Hey, it’s Summer. How’s work?”
“Hmm…I’ll tell you about it over drinks tonight. Are you ready for the interview?”
“I’m ready! I’m here a little early and I’m about to go in. But I wanted to let you know that I made it,” I informed her while I ran my hand over the steering wheel of my parked car.
“Well, you’re going to be great. You are talented and educated and your work speaks for itself. You are going to wow them.”
I took a deep breath and looked up at the Infinity building. “You are absolutely right. I think I’m just getting worked up because this is my first time striking out on my own. Aside from wedding photography, I’ve always worked under someone else’s wing. My undergrad job with Photo Bomb turned into my grad school internship with Leslie B which led me to working with Josh. This is my first time being freelance and definitely my first time really interviewing to shoot my own stuff. I’m ready but—”
“Listen,” Autumn interrupted in a clipped tone. “You are nervous. And it’s okay to be nervous. You have packed up your entire life and moved on a leap of faith. That is enough to make anyone nervous. But you said you were ready for a change. You said you wanted to strike out on your own. You and I both know you are ready for this…so don’t talk yourself out of opportunities that rise.”
Autumn and Summer Page 2