The elevator dinged announcing our arrival at the first floor, but I didn’t make any moves to leave the confined space. I just batted my eyes at him and waited to see what he would do.
See handsome, two can play this game, I baited him silently, challenging him with my eyes.
After the doors opened, he licked his lips and smirked sexily. He leaned forward so our faces were only inches apart. “Don’t count on it, Summer Wilson.” Then he left the elevator without looking back.
“Fuck me,” I sighed breathily, watching him walk away.
I need a cigarette!
**********
Chapter 6: Autumn
“Hey, I’m in the kitchen!” I called out as I pulled the chicken out of the oven. The smell of baked chicken marinated with onions and peppers wafted through the kitchen.
Summer ran into the kitchen and screamed, “Guess who has a date tomorrow night?!”
I jumped a little as I checked the dish. “You scared me,” I laughed, not bothering to turn around. “You have a date tomorrow. With Mr. J.” I put the chicken back in the oven and peeked inside the covered casserole dish to check on the macaroni and cheese.
“Yes. I do. And so do you!” Summer squealed with delight.
“What?” I exclaimed, turning around quickly. I took off the oven mitts with wide eyes. “You just got off of work! How did you even have time?”
“Like you said, let the games begin! It’s time to get you back in the saddle.” Summer winked before leaving the kitchen with her camera bags. “It smells delicious, by the way. Is it done? What time is everyone getting here?”
“It’s done. I’m keeping it warm. And everyone will be here in twenty minutes,” I said, chopping the vegetables. Summer washed her hands and then started helping me chop the zucchini. “So how was work?”
“It was excellent. The shoot went well and I got some really great shots.”
“That’s great! I’m so happy for you. Striking out on your own…working for Style Magazine.” I glanced over at my best friend and smiled. “You’re just doing everything you’ve always wanted to do and I’m happy for you.”
“Well, I have an awesome role model. My best friend is so well put together and successful and wise beyond her years—”
Cocking my head to the side, I smiled sweetly. “Go on.”
“And old.”
“What?!” I laughed, bumping her with my hip. “Our birthdays are ten days apart…and you’re older!”
“Ugh, details!”
Smiling, I shook my head in amusement. “Anyway, who was the model today?”
“Well…” Summer put the chopped veggies in the bowl. Turning to me, she said, “I actually can’t tell you.”
“Why? Is it top secret?” Pouring the bowl of veggies into the pan, I began sautéing them. I glanced over at her and she was standing with her arms crossed, smiling at me. “What?”
“I can’t tell you because he just so happens to be your date tomorrow night!”
Before I could respond, the doorbell rang loudly. “I’ll get it!” Summer said as she ran out of the room.
Moments later, the house sounded full as the trifecta of Summer, Olivia and Tatiana’s voices bounced off of the walls. For the next three hours, we ate and drank wine as we discussed work, men, and life in general. Being the quietest of the four of us, it was easy to slip into my own little world. Although the conversation was interesting, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering.
“Earth to Autumn,” Olivia said, waving her hand in front of my face from across the table.
“I’m listening,” I coughed. I picked up my wine glass and took a big gulp. Looking at their skeptical faces, I could tell they didn’t believe me. “I mean, I’m not doing a good job at it, but I am listening.”
“Aw, what’s on your mind, Autumn?” Tatiana asked, her hazel eyes full of concern.
Love, I thought. True love. That heart stopping, life altering kind of love. The kind of love that I’ve only dreamed of.
“Dating,” I answered, side-stepping the truth. “Finding Mr. Right.”
“You are such a romantic,” Summer replied, patting my hand before picking up her wine glass. “And I love that about you.”
“You’re a romantic too. Just in a different way,” Olivia countered.
Summer poured herself another glass of wine before responding, “That’s sweet, Livie. But I’m a realist. I don’t believe in the fairytale. I don’t believe in the happily ever after. I don’t believe in—”
“Don’t say you don’t believe in love,” Tatiana interrupted, grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring more into her glass.
I sipped my wine slowly and watched Summer’s face. Her gorgeous features tensed slightly before she deflected the conversation away from herself. “Let’s toast. To good food, great friends, and better sex. Oh, and for Autumn and I to have awesome dates tomorrow night!”
Olivia and Tatiana both started talking at once. In our conversation over dinner about men and dating, it hadn’t come up that Summer and I were going on our first of ten first dates Sunday night. They were intrigued by the whole idea of relinquishing control over one’s dating life. And the more excited they became, the more excited I became about my upcoming date. Even though I was a nervous wreck about a date with a model, I was excited to be doing something new and different.
I have nothing to be worried about, I assured myself as we cleaned off the dining room table.
Once the dishes were washed and the food was put away, we walked the girls outside to say our goodbyes. Because it was getting late, Summer and I headed upstairs.
“Are you okay?” Summer asked once we reached the upstairs landing.
“I’m okay,” I gave her a tight smile.
“Okay,” she said, dragging the word out slowly and looking at me skeptically. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight!” I headed into my room.
As soon as I crossed the threshold of my room, I froze and allowed my mind to drift to my date tomorrow night.
Who am I going out with? What am I going to be doing? What am I going to wear? I wondered as I stared at my closed closet door. Should I go sexy? What if I go sexy and he wants to do something active? But if I go too casual, he may have planned a nice dinner. Why did I agree to do this?
Taking a few tentative steps to the middle of my bedroom, I sighed. “How did I let you talk me into this?” I wondered aloud.
“Because you know it’s a good idea,” Summer said from behind me, causing me to jump.
Gasping, I said, “You have got to stop sneaking up on me! I thought you were in your room!”
“I was, but I felt like something was going on with you. So what’s up?” Summer leaned against the doorjamb and scratched her head. “Are you stressing about the date?”
“A little. I don’t know who I’m going out with or what to wear or what we are doing. I don’t know anything!” I shook my head in disbelief. “And I agreed to be in this predicament.”
“Don’t stress. I checked him out as thoroughly as you would have.” Walking over to me, she continued, “And we can solve your wardrobe crisis right now.”
I launched myself to the middle of the bed and landed with a thud. Summer walked into the walk-in closet to pull out some options.
“What are we doing tomorrow? I don’t want to be underdressed or overdressed. I just don’t…know, you know?” I worried as I scooted around to sit in the middle of my bed.
“Um, sure,” Summer said slowly with a laugh. Peeking out of the closet, she continued, “I need you to not stress about this. This is going to be a good time…for both of us.”
Curling my legs underneath me, I sighed, “It’s weird not knowing who I’m meeting, but I’m excited. I promise. I just…” My head dropped back and I stared at the ceiling. How do I even sum up this feeling? I wondered, struggling to put into words my thoughts and feelings.
“Is it Derrick?” Summer asked softly. Even in the softness of
her voice, I heard the mixture of worry and nervousness. It was the same cocktail of concern that always managed to bring me to tears.
My head snapped toward her quickly. Holding the cream silk dress in her hands, Summer walked out of the closet. Sitting beside me on the bed, Summer draped the dress across her lap.
“So…what’s going on?” Summer asked quietly.
I looked from the dress to the eyes of my best friend and I blinked back the tears that were developing. I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. I looked down at my hands and stretched out my fingers. After analyzing my nails, I looked back at her with a sad smile.
“Is it Derrick?” Summer repeated, shaking the dress in her lap.
After a beat, I responded, “No. It’s not Derrick. Well, not him specifically.”
“Talk to me. What’s going on?”
I took the dress out of her hands and clutched it between my fingers. I ran my fingertips across the smooth fabric, contemplating. “I keep this as a reminder. A reminder of both the feeling of being in love and the total heartbreak it can cause. And even though I was wearing this dress when I was completely crushed, that was the absolute last time I felt something so strong.” I glanced up and blinked back tears before I admitted, “Whenever I consider settling for a man that’s not right for me, I look at this dress.”
Looking Summer directly in her eyes, I said, “I’m not pining away for Derrick or anything. Believe me, if he came back today and said ‘sorry I abruptly ended the relationship without explanation and I’ve spent the last four years planning to win you back,’ I wouldn’t take him back. I am over him. But when he broke my heart, I fear some irreparable damage happened. Because ever since then, I haven’t had that feeling, that spark, that magic that happens when you’re falling for someone. And I’ve met some genuinely nice guys who are handsome and smart, but I feel nothing. And I miss that. I miss those feelings. I don’t miss Derrick. I just miss the feelings he brought out of me. I’ve been in a four year drought.”
“Auty…” Summer started. “First, Derrick was a boy and you need a man. He couldn’t handle being in a real relationship with real feelings and real commitment so he bailed. You are better off without him, spark or no spark. It was true four years ago and it’s true now. Second, you are the most romantic person I know so I don’t think your romantic feelings have disappeared. You just haven’t been swept off of your feet and that’s the issue. It’s the men. Not you. Third, this month is all about first dates. Ten first dates with hot, sexy, worthwhile, available men who may bring that feeling back out of you. And one of them may be the one to knock the dust off of your…feelings.”
I put my head in my hands and laughed. I love this girl, I thought before I leaned forward to hug her. We laughed for three straight minutes and in that time, I realized that she was right. Maybe not being in control is exactly what I need, I thought pensively. Although I had been trying to feel that spark with someone, no one I’d dated since Derrick had brought it out of me. Yet. No one I’d dated had brought it out of me yet.
My hope for love was unwavering even when it wavered a bit.
“It’s time for me to let it go,” I acknowledged with as much conviction as I could muster. I delicately folded the dress and placed it between us. “It’s just a dress… what it symbolizes is what I’ve been holding on to.”
I don’t know why I keep getting choked up about this. Tossing the dress is not tossing the hope of love away with it, I thought, climbing off of the bed and walking across the room to my walk-in closet.
“So what do you think I should wear? All black?” I asked over my shoulder with a smirk.
Following me into the closet, Summer tossed the dress over her shoulder. “I look hot in all black and you know it.”
“Yes, but I wish you’d let me put you in something like this.” I held up a hot pink mini dress with the tag still on. “This would look good on you. One day soon, I’m going to dress you in a nice, colorful outfit.”
Pursing her lips, Summer rolled her eyes. “Anyway…” She bumped me with her hip before stepping around me. “I think this would be perfect for tomorrow. I know you are going to dinner. That’s all I know.” Summer held up a tight black pencil skirt and a white backless top. “You will look perfect in this. You always look perfect.”
“Is that too much for a first date?” I asked as I took the clothing out of her hands to inspect her choice. “You do know that this shirt is sheer right?”
“For where he’s taking you, it’s perfect. Promise,” Summer answered with a wink.
Turning on my heel, I walked out of the closet and out of the bedroom completely. “Okay, cool. I’ll wear it. Now let’s find something for you to wear.”
Entering Summer’s bedroom, I stopped short, causing her to run into the back of me. “Wait, you know where we are going tomorrow?”
Summer laughed, “Yes and it’s a really cool place with a sexy dress code. Trust me.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said as I marched over to the closet. Everything was black. A few items combined black and white and an even fewer number of items combined black with another color. But for the most part, it was all black. “Hmmmm…what color should you wear?” I jokingly mused to myself.
“Ha, ha,” Summer countered dryly.
“No but seriously, I am looking forward to putting you in something of mine…something colorful.” I searched through the row of clothing until my eyes landed on one of only three dresses. It was sexy and elegant. Perfect for a gallery reception date, I thought as I pulled the dress off of the hanger. I eyed the cream and black lace dress and a smile swept over my face.
“Oh no!” Summer said from behind me.
“Oh yes!” I nodded. “For where he’s taking you, it’s perfect. Promise,” I mimicked her wink as I quoted her words.
“Touché,” she conceded, flopping down on her bed.
Hanging the dress on the back of the closet door, I brushed my hands together and smiled. “My job here is done. You are going to look fabulous. But I don’t want you to have bags under your eyes so I’m going to let you get some rest.” Leaning against the wall closest to the door, I cocked my head to the side. “Summer, before I go. You are smart, beautiful, outgoing, fun, talented, a little crass, but amazing. Don’t let what happened to your parents—”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” Summer interrupted sharply. She immediately started biting her thumb nail. It was a nervous habit and a giveaway that she was in deep thought.
“I know,” I acknowledged, recognizing I was treading on a touchy subject with her. “As your best friend, I’m just saying don’t close yourself off to love or the existence of it just because you haven’t experienced it yet.”
Summer smiled, but sadness filled her eyes. “I believe in love. I love you. I love my family. I love photography. I love what I do for a living. I just don’t believe in the fairytale. I don’t believe there is a Prince Charming…for me.”
“Just wait, Summer. It’s going to happen. And when it does, he is going to change your world and your mind is going to be blown.”
“You are such a romantic,” Summer sighed wistfully. “I love that about you, you know that?”
I pushed myself off of the wall and crossed my arms across my chest. “You are so evasive. But I love you, despite that.”
“Evasive? Me? Never!” Summer jokingly scoffed as she walked to the dresser beside me to pull out something to sleep in. “I just love how optimistic and romantic you are when it comes to men and relationships. It compliments how pessimistic and unromantic I am.” Closing the drawer with her hip, she smirked.
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Hmmm… well, the way you described your elevator exchange with Mr. Ford didn’t sound pessimistic or unromantic,” I replied with a wink, backing out of her bedroom.
“I’m never telling you anything! You are evil!” she screamed with a laugh.
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“No, I’m a romantic,” I called over my shoulder as I exited the room. “Goodnight!”
“Goodnight,” she laughed.
As soon as I walked into my room, my eyes landed on the dress. The slip dress was so simple in design, but complicated in meaning. I sat down on the bed and picked it up.
One day, a man will come along and sweep me off of my feet. And I won’t need this dress as a reminder of what it was like to be head over heels for someone. I will be actively living in that feeling. And it’ll actually be true love because he won’t just have my heart, but I’ll have his as well, I thought as I stood to put the dress away.
Even though I felt ready to let it go, I still hung it in the closet.
**********
Chapter 7: Summer
“You’re welcome. You were a pleasure to shoot,” I said as I put my camera equipment in the backseat. I turned back around and looked at Jordan. He was really cute with his dark curly hair and green eyes. Perfect for Autumn, I thought as soon as I walked into his office and saw the brown, cream and gold interior.
“So…” Jordan started. He looked uncomfortable as he opened my car door for me. “Are you sure it’s okay to call Autumn? I’m going to be honest. This sounds…” His sentence trailed off as he lifted his shoulders in confusion.
“Like I said before, we are setting each other up on blind dates. You have all the qualities she looks for in a guy. And I know you’re her type.”
“Well, she sounds awesome and that picture you showed me…yeah, she’s definitely my type. I just don’t usually do blind dates. Especially not like this. And I haven’t been on a date in like two years.”
Explaining this to each of the guys is going to get easier and easier because if Jordan is any indication, I’ll be explaining it repeatedly, I realized as I took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. But it’s worth it because this guy would really be a good match for Autumn.
Autumn and Summer Page 6