Autumn and Summer

by Danielle Allen

  Just being around him makes me want him to kiss me, I thought as we stood in the crowded club staring at one another. We should have kissed last night. If I hadn’t freaked out about the separation, we would’ve kissed last night. And if we’d kissed last night, it wouldn’t be weird for me to kiss him right now. His lips are so juicy and kissable, I thought as I leaned in a fraction closer.

  “I’m sorry I dropped the whole pending divorce thing on you last night,” Jordan blurted out, completely obliterating the kissing mood. As slowly as I’d been leaning forward, I leaned back. “We kind of acted like it never happened, but I could tell it bothered you. I wanted a chance to talk to you in person this weekend about it.”

  I forced a smile. “That’s understandable.” Looking around, I saw the crowd had grown in a matter of minutes. I decided in that moment that it was time for me to join my friends upstairs.

  With my hand still tucked in his, he placed it against his face and I immediately met his gaze. My stomach fluttered and I fought against the feelings that he brought out of me.

  The feeling I’ve been waiting for cannot and will not come from a man fresh out of a marriage, I decided as my heart skipped a beat. Yes, he’s separated, but…

  He leaned his head closer to my face to ensure our conversation was private. “Last night was my first date in a while and I felt like you’re worth being up front and honest with. Not that I would ever lie about my relationship status. But when I brought it up, I saw the look on your face so I immediately changed the subject. And I shouldn’t have done that. I brought it up because I wanted you to know exactly what you would be getting into. From the moment I laid eyes on you…well, actually, from the moment you called me Dexter, I felt something between us, something worth exploring. I’m single in every aspect of the word and it will be official as soon as my lawyers iron the details out. So, I told myself that if I got the chance to see you face to face again, I’d tell you that. I know this isn’t really the time or place, but I wanted to get that off of my chest. No pressure.”

  I was quiet as I let what he said settle over me. How can I fault him for being up front and honest? And if I’m being up front and honest with myself, I felt the chemistry between us too, I thought as I stared into his eyes, mesmerized.

  “No pressure,” I repeated, licking my lips.

  Jordan shrugged. “No pressure.”

  Looking into each other’s eyes, he closed the two inch gap between us and just barely brushed his lips against mine. His soft, warm lips tasted like amaretto as his mouth moved effortlessly over mine. My eyes closed as the sensation that coursed through my body from the slight touch propelled our lips together. As forceful as the magnetic pull was that brought us together, when we finally came in contact, the kiss was gentle and painstakingly slow. Butterflies spread across my belly as his full lips overpowered my own. My mouth opened and his tongue teasingly caressed mine. His kiss sent shivers up and down my spine. When we pulled apart, I felt warm and heady all over. Before pulling away, I could feel him smiling, which made me smile too.

  Holy crap, that kiss was…everything, I thought as I opened my eyes to find him staring at me, his green eyes crinkling in the corners.

  “You weren’t looking at me the whole time we were kissing, were you?” I whispered teasingly.

  He gently moved a hair from my forehead with his fingers as his smile grew wider. “Would that have been creepy?”

  “Absolutely,” I giggled, nodding for emphasis.

  “Then no, I was not looking at you.”

  I laughed and slowly took a step back.

  “Enjoy the show, Jordan,” I said as I walked away, smiling.

  **********

  Chapter 13: Summer

  Looking over the glass balcony, I finished the last of my whiskey. I let the smooth, fiery liquid coat my mouth, savoring it, before I swallowed. With an empty glass in my hand, I glanced over my shoulder at our group. Tatiana and Jason were making out on the couch. Olivia and Autumn were talking to a couple of Jason’s friends. There were ten of us in total and I’d been too preoccupied to really engage with anyone. Leaning over the railing, I noticed how the crowd had grown. Since we had walked in, the DJ played music low enough so that people could converse, but as it approached 10 p.m., the volume was inching up.

  Sneaking up on me, Autumn appeared at my side.

  “Oh shit!” I jumped when I noticed her, startled. I looked over to where she had been talking to the group and back at her. “How the hell did you get over here so fast?”

  “I called your name three times before actually walking over here. You have been zoned out all night.” She bumped me with her hip. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine.” I put my glass on the table closest to me and then turned to my best friend. She was turned toward me giving me her full attention. She sipped from a bottle of water and her eyes were trained on me. Immediately, I knew that she knew that I was bullshitting.

  Wordlessly, she raised one arched eyebrow and I felt compelled to confess.

  We tell each other everything. And I want to tell her about my date with Ethan. I’m going to tell her about my date with Ethan. But I don’t even know what to make of the fantasy I had about Xavier. I don’t know if I’m more freaked out that I had a fantasy about Xavier while I was making out with Ethan or how wet I got imagining it was Xavier, I thought as I bit the skin around my thumb with a pained expression.

  “I promise I will tell you everything when we get home. Promise!”

  “I am not going to have a good time if I’m worried about you all night. So answer one question for me,” Autumn started, lowering her voice. “Is it bad?”

  “Well...” I trailed off. A look of concern flooded her brown eyes and I shook my head profusely. “No, no, no… it’s not bad. It’s just confusing. I feel confused about what happened on the date. It’s not bad. You’ll understand when we talk at home. I promise!”

  She squeezed my hand and said, “As soon as we get home.”

  I bumped her with my hip. “I’m going downstairs to get another whiskey. It’s almost ten and I don’t want to miss a minute of whatever is about to happen.”

  She looked at me suspiciously. “You know there’s a private waitress for this section,” she said slowly. “Why don’t you just put in an order?”

  “I just want to get out for a bit.”

  “You want me to come with?”

  “No, I’m good. Thank you. I’m just going to run down and come right back up so I’ll be set up to take pictures.”

  “It’s crazy how close we are to the stage. You’re going to get some great shots,” Autumn said, marveling at the whole set up.

  I looked around. “I know. It’s crazy!”

  Heading out of our section, I got halfway down the hallway when a big, burly security guard burst out of a VIP section. An endless string of women were trickling out of the section closest to the stairway. I wanted to go around the security guard, but even if he let me go past him, the women being escorted out of the club would’ve hindered my progress. Turning on my heel, I decided to try my luck at the VIP bar.

  Behind a heavy glass door, the private bar was at the end of the hallway that fed into all of the VIP sections. It was exclusive so it had shorter lines and prettier glasses. And even though much of the alcohol was the same top-shelf alcohol as the bar downstairs on the main floor, the prices were almost twice as much.

  Which is why I was trying to go to the bar downstairs, I grumbled silently as I stomped to the near-empty bar area. Two of the six bar stools were available and I bee-lined to one of them.

  “Johnnie Walker—neat, please,” I requested, hopping up on the barstool. I pulled out my phone to check the time. Ten minutes until show time, I thought, before sending a text message.

  Summer Wilson: Hanging out in the VIP bar. I’ll be back later.

  Autumn Jones: Are you sure you’re okay? If you want a moment alone, fine. But if you need me to come sit silent
ly with you, I will.

  Summer Wilson: No, I’m fine. Promise. It’s quiet in here. I’ll be back in 15 or 20 minutes.

  “Johnnie Walker. Neat,” a deep voice demanded as he sat on the barstool beside me.

  The sound of his voice caused something deep in my belly to coil tightly, but the familiarity of his voice caused me to whip my head in his direction.

  “Xavier,” I gasped, my mouth wide open.

  “Summer,” he uttered smoothly, but he couldn’t hide the surprise in his eyes.

  We silently stared, gaping at each other.

  “Whiskey for you and a whiskey for you,” the bartender interrupted, sitting the glasses in front of us. “That’ll be eighteen dollars.”

  “Oh we’re not together,” I said quickly, looking down for the cash I’d stashed in my bag.

  The bartender laughed, pulling the toothpick out of his mouth and throwing it into the trashcan. “Eighteen dollars each, sweetheart.”

  The fuck? Eighteen dollars for a drink that I could’ve gotten downstairs for eight dollars! That’s ridiculous, I thought as I reached to hand the bartender a twenty dollar bill begrudgingly.

  Xavier’s hand covered mine and flattened it against the bar. That quick movement stopped me from giving the bartender my money and simultaneously caused an intense heat to course through my entire body. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from our hands—his large hand covering my smaller one.

  Dammit, I cursed silently as I felt myself becoming flushed at our contact. The blood rushed so loudly that I barely heard him tell the bartender that he was covering our bill. Swiping the credit card quickly, the bartender handed Xavier his card back and then moved down the bar to tend to someone else. When Xavier removed his hand from mine, I felt deprived.

  “So Summer Wilson drinks whiskey straight up,” Xavier said, nodding appreciatively. “Why am I not surprised?”

  Shaking it off and taking a deep breath, I put my money back in my bag. “I can afford my own drink. But thank you,” I snapped, feeling tipsy and less susceptible to his charms. Picking up the tumbler, I paused with it in mid-air. “And just to be clear, I was here first. I ordered first. I was going to pay first. I don’t want you to get confused and accuse me of stalking you. Again.”

  I took a sip, enjoying the honey and vanilla flavors of the fiery liquid. I was determined to not let him ruin my drink. Like he ruined my date…and my sleep…and elevators, I thought in frustration as the heat of the whiskey coated my throat and filled my belly.

  He chuckled a little and I shook my head. Watching him from the corner of my eye, I saw him checking me out. I hated that I enjoyed the attention from him.

  Putting the glass down, I turned my head and glared at him. When his eyes traveled back to my face and he saw my expression, he drew his eyebrows together and glared right back.

  He will not out- glare me, I thought, twisting my body so I was facing him and giving him my best scowl.

  His light blue eyes squinted at me and his top lip curled in disgust.

  The look he gave me was pure comedy, but I did not want to break. Biting the inside of my lip, I refused to smile. Instead, I sat up straighter and crossed my arms over my chest.

  In turn, he pushed his lower jaw out and growled.

  Unable to contain it, I burst out laughing and within seconds, he joined in.

  Suddenly, the crowd went wild as the beat dropped and the music blared. The few people who were at the bar ran through the opened glass door. The bartender walked over to the door to shut it before retreating to a window that overlooks the stage area. The bar area wasn’t completely soundproof, but the noise was decreased to a manageable volume with the door closed. In the relative quietness of the room, I realized that Xavier and I were alone with the preoccupied bartender. The realization sobered me up quickly.

  The laughter drained the building anger I felt toward him. When he looked over at me again with his eyes shining, I felt a shock to my system as a tremor ran through me.

  Oh shit, I thought, panicked. I need to leave. I need to leave now.

  I should have left right at that moment. But I didn’t. And that’s when I knew I was in trouble. Although my mind knew what I needed to do, my body rebelled as I remained seated, still facing him.

  “Listen,” he started, breaking the silence and turning his entire body toward me. “I apologize for what I said the other day. I shouldn’t have suggested that you were following me. I was out of line.”

  “Yes, you were,” I agreed sharply, running my fingers up and down the sides of my glass. “But you weren’t just out of line. You were a cocky, condescending, rude, egotistical—”

  “Let me explain,” he interrupted as he ran his hand over his stubble-covered jaw. I could almost see the wheels turning behind those light blue eyes. “Please. Let me explain.”

  I opened my mouth to refuse his explanation, but I froze. Captivated by the softness in his eyes and the sincerity in his voice, my breath faltered. The alcohol made me feel more like myself and less like a pod person. Yet, underneath the alcohol, I could still feel the nervousness of being around him. So while my mouth and my brain screamed, ‘I’m Summer Wilson, bitches,’ my heart felt like it was going through what I could only describe as the beginning stages of cardiac arrest.

  Maybe if I let him explain, I’ll stop fantasizing about him, I thought just as his knee accidentally grazed mine and everything below my waist clenched instinctively. Okay, maybe the fantasies won’t stop, but I want to be able to take the elevator at work without holding my breath.

  I took another sip of the auburn liquid in front of me before nodding to him. “Fine.”

  “Long story short, work stuff compounded with some personal stuff and before I handled it, you showed up. You were the first person I saw after a trying day and I took it out on you. I should’ve had more self-control than that. I should’ve handled the situation better.” A smile played on his lips. “You took me by surprise.”

  “I was just as surprised,” I countered with furrowed brows. “I wasn’t expecting you to open the door.”

  “I wasn’t expecting you to call me an asshole.”

  Feeling the effects of the alcohol, I grinned, shrugging slowly. “Well, I’m not apologizing for that. You were being an asshole. And I call it like it is.”

  With a smile that lit up his entire face, he said, “And that’s what I like about you.”

  The butterflies in my stomach turned into full-blown bats as the fluttering intensified.

  I didn’t respond to him; instead, I closed my eyes and took another sip. As the alcohol worked its magic, I exhaled deeply. I opened my eyes to find Xavier watching me. His eyes flitted over my face as if he were trying to memorize it. Everything faded…the outside noise, the bartender, everything. It was just me and Xavier in that moment. The intensity of his stare took my breath away. And again, I felt sparks.

  Two men loudly entered the bar area interrupting the moment and breaking the spell Xavier had cast upon me. I quickly shifted my gaze from him to the two men who sat at the far end of the bar and then to the ceiling.

  What is going on with me? I wondered as I stared at the decorative light fixture. Or better yet, what is he doing to me? This ends now. The fantasies, the dreams, the nonstop thoughts, the similarities, the surprise appearances, the sparks… the fucking sparks have to go. He’s with someone. He is not single. Therefore, he is not an option.

  “You know what,” I started, pausing briefly to take another sip. “We both work at the Infinity building. We are likely to cross paths again. Let’s just start over.”

  Without hesitation, he fixed his collar and smoothed down his shirt before sticking his hand out for a handshake. “Hello, my name is Xavier.”

  I eyed his hand for a second before shaking it. “Hi. I’m Summer,” I replied, stifling a giggle at his formality.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Summer. Where are you from?”

  “North Carolina. And you?”
/>
  “Virginia.” He licked his lips and I could see him swallow hard. His eyes left mine and moved to my lips before staring at the glass in my hand. “So… Johnnie Walker, huh?”

  “Yes. What’s it to you?” I lifted my eyebrow, challenging him.

  My phone vibrated and before I even checked it, I knew it was Autumn. I’d been gone for twenty minutes and she worried about everything.

  Autumn Jones: I’m coming to the bar to get you. You’re missing everything!

  Summer Wilson: I’m coming back to the section now.

  Looking up at Xavier, I realized I didn’t care that I was missing the greatest show of the summer. “My friends are worried. I should head back,” I announced softly, still not moving.

  “I probably should too.”

  He didn’t move either. We just held each other’s gazes.

  “You don’t find too many women who drink whiskey,” Xavier said, studying me.

  “You don’t find too many women like me,” I mumbled, slightly inebriated.

  “That’s for sure.” His eyes bore into me and I could almost feel the intensity.

  Am I flirting with him? Is he flirting back? Am I drunk? I asked myself as the silence after his statement hung in the air. Between what I said out loud and the thoughts in my head, I felt compelled to fill the silence.

  “Johnnie Walker is my celebratory drink,” I explained. “But when I’m out, I typically only drink whiskey. My dad only drank whiskey. His preference was Jack Daniels. And long before I was ever able to drink, I overheard my dad say that whiskey was like my mom. Rich, bold, sweet, fiery, full-bodied and multilayered.” I smiled at the memory. “I didn’t quite know what he meant, but the sentiment stuck with me. And years later...” I lifted my glass before taking a large gulp. “Here I am.”

  He nodded as he said, “Like mother like daughter.”

  Resisting the urge to bite my thumb, I settled for tapping it against my lip. What am I supposed to say to that? I thought, feeling my skin heat.

  “Do you spell whiskey with an e?” I burst out awkwardly.

  What? I thought, mentally punching myself in the face. I went from light, harmless flirting to just plain weird. Why is it that I geek out around him?