Let’s try it again. “Why don’t we just leave?”
“We’re past that now.” He touched her cheek, skated his fingers delicately over the curve. “Go to sleep.”
How can I sleep? “Got any more of those pills?”
“Just close your eyes.” He was back to a whisper, his touch warm and forgiving. “You’re safe.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. Took a deep breath. Another. Her head did feel heavy, and her arms. Her legs were made of lead.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Trust me, Anna.”
“I do.”
She wasn’t sure if he’d heard, but he held her until she fell asleep again, comforted by the steady beat of his heart and the rhythm of his breathing.
This time there were no bad dreams.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I don’t like this.” Willie stuffed another handful of clips in the bag, her hair slicked back. “At least let Hassan go with you.”
Josiah stared at the computer screen, hearing the shower running. Hassan was drowning himself in hot water, and Anna made little shuffling and clinking sounds in the kitchen, washing dishes and making a fresh pot of coffee. The rich illusory smell filled the suite, and if he concentrated he could hear her humming, a familiar wandering melody.
“I don’t recall asking for your input on this issue.” He tapped the return key twice, pushed the laptop back, and opened the first target file. Scanned it, his attention submerging, making connections. “Hassan is going to be busy taking you and Anna out of town.”
“I can take the liebchen, mein Herr. I’d feel better about this if you had some backup.” It was the fourth time she’d said it, in a slightly different way with each repetition. “So would Hassan. We’ve talked it over.”
When did this become a democracy? “You are not the prime point on this run, Willie. You and Hassan are taking Anna. End of discussion.” Rainy morning light flooded the windows, and his tone held mild warning, nothing more. He found the third file, cross-referenced a location, stored it in the little drawer in his head.
He’d awakened this morning with Anna sleeping in his arms, her cheeks flushed and her hair tangled, the faint light creeping through the curtains sliding over every curve of her face. For a half hour of complete silence, he’d held her, each second spilling like a grain of sand through an hourglass, infinitely precious and now irretrievably gone.
Then Hassan had coughed, and he’d heard Willie’s sleepy murmur, and the machine he was trained to be rose inside his head. Cold calculation made the plan, and now he had to stick to it.
It was the only way.
“What about the liebchen, Josiah?” Willie’s tone was soft, worried. “This is not the best course of action. You should—”
“More coffee, anyone?” Anna sang out in the kitchen.
It sounded so familiar, so normal. Josiah forced away the urge to close his eyes. “Black for me, please.”
“Willie?” More soft shuffles, and she peered around the corner. “Coffee for you?”
“Yes, please.” Willie subsided, shoving more ammo clips into the bag. “Cream. Sugar. And big stick to pound in idiot head here.”
Anna blinked. The bruised swelling on her face was turning yellow and purple, even more glaring and conspicuous. “Is he being stubborn again?”
“Ach, yes.” Willie closed the bag with a swift yank, grabbed the first-aid kit, and started to reorganize it for the second time. “Still. I have not managed to talk sense into stupid head.”
You have no idea how close to the edge I am, Willie. Don’t push me. “I thought I told you this discussion was over.” He heard the chill in his tone, pulled the fourth file toward him and opened it, checked the address against the list. There was an error.
Damn it all to hell and back. His temper thinned, and he took a deep, calming breath. He was starting to deconstruct under the stress, and that was the last thing anyone here needed.
Anna sighed. She shuffled back into the kitchen.
“Mein Herr,” Willie started, and he looked up at her, his face hardening. She swallowed the rest of the sentence, her cheeks paling.
He switched to his Berlin-accented German, so he could be absolutely sure she understood. “No, Willie. That is final. I’m counting on you and Hassan to get Anna out of here safely. I am trusting you two to get the only thing that matters to me in this fucking world out of here and to a good hidey-hole, so I can concentrate when I need to. Do me a favor and don’t fuck with me right now, my dear. I’m not in the mood.”
She stared at him, her large, dark eyes suddenly very full and shining. In her mouth, the precision of the German was softly blurred. “You will get yourself killed.”
Not if I’m careful. Which I can’t be, with Anna around. “Only if you keep distracting me. Now be a good girl and make this laptop behave.”
“Coffee.” Anna came around the corner, bearing two steaming mugs. “Sounds intense. What’s up?”
It was a relief to think in English again. It was also a sucker punch to see her, her hair falling in a glowing wave under the electric light and her stocking feet shuffling. She dragged her right foot and winced just a little.
Just making sure everyone understands what’s going on here. “Just getting some things clear.” Definitely starting to deconstruct. Wish I had a heavy bag to get all this out.
Willie leaned over, pulled the laptop toward her. She muttered a particularly foul curse in French, and wiped at her cheek with one hand while the other tapped at the keyboard.
“Are you okay?” Anna’s tone was soft, and genuinely concerned. “Willie?”
“Ja,” the taller woman replied, accepting her coffee. “There. It should work now.” It was a submission, and he recognized it. Anna was as safe as he could make her. Willie would see to it. And if the unthinkable happened, Willie and Hassan would teach her how to take care of herself. More than that he couldn’t ask for.
That’s my problem. I want more than I should. But thank you, Willie. “Bitte. These addresses don’t match up. Can you find the right one?”
The tall, spare woman settled into a chair. Anna hovered uncertainly, first glancing at her, then at Josiah. The line between her eyebrows deepened.
“I’ll work on it.” Willie kept her head bowed. Her bun was back in place, and her thin fingers tapped at the keyboard.
Anna waited. He took the coffee, their fingers touching for a brief second, and gave her a tight smile. Be calm, Josiah. “Thanks. Feeling any better?”
She shrugged, a graceful movement. “I’ve been thinking.”
Oh, God. Not you, too. His temper was frayed down to the bone, and if she started in on him he just might slip. “About?” He looked down at the fourth file, taking a scalding sip of coffee. Dammit.
“If Eric mailed the ring to his PO box, he might have picked it up. It might have even been a red herring, especially if he suspected someone might steal his files.” Anna folded her arms as the shower shut off, and Hassan began to hum a saucy RAF drinking song having to do with a lassie from Leeds with definite needs. It was a good sign. “Was there anything in the box at all?”
“Not a thing. Bare as a bone.” Josiah set the coffee cup down, carefully, amid the drift of paper. “Where are you heading with this, Anna?”
“So he’d picked everything up, maybe the day he…died. Or he put it in there in case the files were stolen.” Her mouth trembled, firmed. She went on. “Either way, he probably hid the ring.”
Assuming he found it, of course. “Where?”
“He had a couple hiding places. I want to go back to his apartment and—”
Jesus Christ. “No.”
“Josiah—” She actually flinched. The little betraying movement tore at his heart.
“No.” His voice rose, and Willie’s shoulders hunched. She tapped at the keyboard industriously. Anna stared at him, her green eyes dark and terribly sad. “Absolutely not. Tell me, and I’ll see if I can fit in a trip to an a
lmost-certainly compromised location into my day. It might even add a little excitement to my otherwise boring life.”
“Don’t yell at me.” Her chin set stubbornly, she scowled at him. “I’m only trying to help.”
“Save me from amateurs.” For a moment he couldn’t believe he’d said it out loud. Christ, keep your temper down. If you push her over the edge now she won’t stop until she’s made you react, and that won’t be good. For a moment he remembered every other fight he’d had with her, trying desperately to keep his calm while she grew more and more frustrated. She had never understood what it cost him to keep his composure, especially since she knew every button to press. “The only thing you’re doing today is heading out of town with Willie and Hassan. That’s final. Tell me where Eric likely hid the ring, and I’ll get it.”
Her almost thirty seconds of silence was all the warning in the world. He braced himself, but she surprised him with brittle calm. “I don’t know exactly. But if I get in his apartment I can check the most likely—”
“Didn’t I tell you no?” He took a deep breath. “Make a list of the likeliest places.”
“But you said you’d give him his ring!”
How did she do it? No other person on earth could throw him off balance like this. He struggled for an even tone. “By the time I finish this, Corpse Boy isn’t going to care whether I have his goddamn trinket or not. He’s going to be too busy being truly dead or eluding the agency. You wanted me to handle this; I’m handling it. I’m the resident expert; stop trying to fuck up how I do my job. Will you, please? I’m begging you.”
Willie pushed her chair back from the table and padded across the room. She tapped smartly on the bathroom door and walked in, through a puff of steam. Hassan’s humming stopped.
Anna’s chin kept its defiant tilt. “Why are you so upset with me? Because I called you? I’m sorry I interrupted all your goddamn important plans. Maybe I should have just let them catch me, so as not to interfere with your busy life.”
The words hung in the air for a moment. Her unwounded cheek bloomed with high, hectic color, and under the mottling of the bruise she was blushing as well.
Oh, Jesus. His jaw had seized up. If he ground his teeth together any harder he was afraid one or two of them would break. He shoved his chair back and rocked up to his feet. Anna swayed but didn’t move as he grabbed her shoulders, his fingers sinking in.
“I am not very stable right now,” he informed her, softly. “I’m having trouble keeping my head clear. You don’t make it any easier. I am not angry at you, but I am about to go out and get myself in a hell of a lot of trouble, and I can’t be the normal guy you need right now. Like it or not, if I was normal you’d be dead. I never should have tried to make it work with you, but I wanted to, Christ how I wanted.” A deep breath; he had to struggle to keep his tone even and calm. “Just for the next few hours, do what I say. After that you’ll be out of town and I’ll stop worrying about you while I go out and try to get myself killed getting your goddamn revenge. Remember? The one you hired me for?”
Tears trembled on her wet, matted eyelashes. She stared up at him through a blurring welling of salt water, and he wished she didn’t have her hand over her mouth, so he could kiss her.
Calm her down. You’re making a mess. Is this what you want her to remember about you?
He tried to make his tone a little softer. “I’m not angry at you, I swear. I just have to work now, and you’re getting in the way of my work. Help me out here, Annie. All right?” Quit looking at me like you think I’m going to hit you. I never have, and I won’t start now.
She nodded, and one of the tears brimmed over, touching her hand. Her hair fell forward, brushing his hands and falling in her eyes. She said nothing, blinking furiously. He uncurled his hands from her shoulders slowly, wishing he could keep the feel of her skin against his bottled up somewhere it wouldn’t hurt.
Anna took in a deep, jagged breath. “I don’t mind. About you not being a normal guy, that is. I never did.”
Jesus. His heart compressed itself to a lump of coal inside his ribs. If it was a lie, it was a kind one, and she might even believe it. Why did you run away from me, then? You took everything with you when you slammed my front door. “Good enough.” He was trying to be kind in return, but the flash of hurt in her eyes told him he’d failed. She probably meant he’d been weird even while dating her. No matter how well you faked it, anyone close enough could begin to tell if you weren’t…
Well, if you weren’t human.
He hadn’t minded, before he met her.
Goddamn woman, twisting him into knots. Everything he had ever wanted to say to her swelled behind his throat, but there was no room for it now. He had work to do.
Still, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to her forehead. Gently, very gently, though he wanted to do a hell of a lot more. It would be more enjoyable than a session with a heavy bag, that was for damn sure. He could be clear enough and cold enough to think afterward.
No, you won’t. You’ll find fifty reasons to rabbit, just take her and go and leave this whole operation unfinished. What’s not tied off is dangerous, you know that. You leave with her now, you’ll be running for the rest of your life and most definitely the rest of hers. Stick with the plan you made while you were cold and reasonable, Josiah. It’s your only hope.
Not only that, it’s hers, too.
So he gently, very gently, pushed her away. Held her at arm’s length, and told the persistent pressure below the belt to settle down. Work to do, the constant refrain of his life.
“I don’t mind,” she repeated, and her eyes were just as big and dark as ever. Anna looked up at him as if saying it again would make everything all right, turn back time, and untangle the whole mess. “I’m sorry, Jo. I shouldn’t have—”
If she went any further he was going to do something stupid. “Don’t.” Don’t apologize. “We’ll talk about it later. I promise. Now go back into the kitchen. I need to think.”
He thought she might give him more trouble, but she stepped back out of his hands, and it took everything he had not to take the single step forward and grab her again. Don’t listen to me. Ask me to leave again. With you. Tell me you didn’t care about what I am, tell me you don’t care now.
She simply shuffled back into the kitchen, and a sharp, precise agony uncoiled inside Josiah’s chest. He shelved it, promising himself he’d think about it later, and looked back down at the papers on the table. For one terrifying vertiginous second he couldn’t remember who he needed to kill.
Reality returned with a snap and a rush. He settled down in his chair again, took a deep breath, and waited for Willie to come out of the bathroom so he could get the address he needed. While he waited, he collated a few more files.
And wished his recalcitrant hands didn’t ache so badly for the feel of her skin again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Don’t stop,” Josiah said, in that odd flat tone he’d suddenly developed.
Anna’s fingers were folded in so hard her entire hand hurt. Her purse lay obediently in her lap, and she stared down at its black canvas.
Josiah leaned over, bracing his arm against the driver’s-side door. “I mean it. Don’t stop until you get them both out of here.”
“You’re being an idiot.” Hassan turned the key in the ignition. “I’ll take good care of them both, Wolfe. Safe as little baby chicks under mother hen.”
“Just be careful.” Josiah didn’t look at her, his profile clear and sharp, his eyes light and piercing. “Godspeed.” He stepped back, light misting rain weighing down his short dark hair.
“Don’t do anything stupid.” Hassan put the car in gear, and it smoothly slipped forward. Willie’s head bowed, her bun visible as her shoulders came up.
Anna twisted in the backseat, ignoring the creaking pain in her neck as she struggled to catch a glimpse of Josiah. When the car turned, nosing out into traffic, she could view the entire parkin
g lot. He was nowhere to be seen.
Vanished, into thin air.
Why am I not surprised?
Silence crackled thick and uncomfortable inside the car. Hassan turned the windshield wipers on.
Willie finally spoke as the car slid into the left-hand-turn lane on 188th. “He is crazy. Will get himself killed.”
“Knows what he’s doing.” Hassan glowered out the windshield. His shoulders were stiff, and his fingers gripped the wheel. “Don’t, Willie. You’re a professional.”
“And I tell you, professionally, he will get himself killed.” Willie’s head came up with a quick jerk. “He is not in his right mind. I am surprised at you, Hassan. You know better than—”
“He has his reasons. For Christ’s sake, I already have a headache.”
The words tumbled out before Anna could stop them. “What do you mean, he’s going to get himself killed?”
“Don’t you start in on me, too.” Hassan’s dark eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror, pinned hers, and just as quickly cut away. “He’s doing this for you.”
“Leave the liebchen alone. Look, you take us out of town, then, ein-zwei-drei, you come back, help him. I look after liebchen, and we all become happy big family.” Willie turned to stare at Hassan’s cheek. “You know I’m right.”
“Don’t make me the bad guy. I’m doing what he wants and getting what matters to him out of the fire zone.” The light turned green and he pulled away, turning left and joining the lane for the freeway on-ramp. “He’s been walking around half-dead for years. Now he’s alive again, and thinking. He’s got a better chance now than he did before.”
“Half-dead?” Anna’s fingers locked so hard her bones were about to begin groaning.
The car piloted itself toward the freeway, smoothly accelerating. “You left him,” Hassan said quietly. “Tore him up so bad he couldn’t think straight. He was never the same. This is the old Josiah. Suppose I should thank you—to tell the truth I’d rather wring your neck for taking a good man down. But Wolfe wants you nice and safe, and I owe him. Nice and safe is what you’re going to be, ducky, until he comes to collect you.”
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