They say, “Talk fast. I have things to do.”
I close the door and stay where I am, hoping the distance might relax her a little.
“Since I’ve been involved with the Lodge, I’ve been ambushed by ghosts twice. I’m only standing here now because a friend warned me about a third attack. One big enough that I might not have been able to get out of it. You remember how scary that first attack was? Imagine that times ten.”
They shift their stance a little, like they’re at least listening.
“I’m sorry about all that and I’m happy you’re safe, but what does it have to do with me?”
“All of the recent Stay Below manifestations have been the same. A tiny spot of light. A Thurl opens and turns sort of liquid. There’s singing. The ghosts appear and then they attack.”
“I know all of that. What’s your point?”
“The manifestations in Little Cairo go exactly the same way. I’ve seen a lot of spooks in my life. But these ones come and go in very specific patterns.”
They look down, then back at me.
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me. So, get to the point or leave now.”
I take a step closer and they don’t pull back. Progress.
“Think back to when Kenny appeared. I think all of the Stay Below appearances—the ones in Little Cairo, in my place, in Vidocq’s place, and Kenny’s appearance—come from one source: Dan and Juliette.”
They throw up their hands in disgust.
“If that’s all you have to say, get out.”
“Please listen. They’re dangerous people. They’ve tried to kill me more than once, and I don’t mean their hokey vampire. They almost killed you. I don’t even know how many people they’ve killed in Little Cairo. They probably didn’t mean to do it, but do you think they’d care?”
Now Janet comes to me, their face hard and angry.
“You’ve always had it in for them, from the first time you met them. The Lodge is important to me and you never gave it or them a chance.”
“I was there three times. All three times, they did something vile, and you almost died twice. Didn’t give them a chance? I didn’t kill them because of you. But I’m telling you, Dan and Juliette are reckless and stupid and I know they’re at the center of all the spook activity in L.A.”
Janet shakes their head.
“That’s impossible. They just learned about sacrifices the other night.”
“Who says so? Kenny? Kenny’s dead. Dan and Juliette? Dan said that he had a lot of experience with summoning hoodoo. He had the necromancer mask, the phurba, the horn, and knew the chants. What if he and Juliette were experimenting with summoning before but got it all wrong? What if the dove wasn’t the first sacrifice? They tried it before, got it wrong, got scared, then called Kenny back so he can tell them how to do it right the next time.”
“I don’t believe you. You don’t like them so you’re coming up with all kinds of reasons not to trust them.”
I’m not getting through to them at all. Time to try something else.
“Maybe you’re right. But I’ve been wondering about your friend Cassandra. The one who was killed by a crackhead. When did it happen?”
Janet looks down at the floor.
“A little over two weeks ago.”
“I thought so. That’s right around the same time as the Stay Belows first appeared in Little Cairo. What if Dan and Juliette tried to open the gate to the Land of the Dead on their own, but they needed a sacrifice?”
Janet looks at me hard.
“You think they killed Cassandra?”
“I wouldn’t put it past them.”
Now Janet smiles, but it’s thin and sad.
Here comes the hard part. Something I haven’t wanted to think about but has been bothering me.
I say, “You know, for someone who was supposed to be such a close friend, you seem to have gotten over Cassandra’s death pretty fast.”
They grab a book and throw it at me.
“I told you mourning wasn’t allowed,” they scream. “Just because I don’t run around crying and acting out my worst impulses like you do, I’m some kind of monster? Takes one to know one, I guess. Fuck you. Get out and never come near me or the Lodge again.”
I look at their eyes. Listen to their heartbeat.
“You’re going there tonight, aren’t you?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“That’s a yes. Please don’t. Give me one day and I’ll be able to prove everything.”
There are tears in Janet’s eyes when they say, “If you ever cared about me even a little, leave now. No more questions. No theories. No nothing. Just go.”
I leave and they quietly close the door behind me.
The crack about Cassandra was rotten, but I had to be sure. My worst fear was that Janet might be so far in with the Lodge that they’d turn a blind eye to anything. But their heart rate and breathing didn’t change like they would if they’d been lying. But that doesn’t make them safe. I’m still afraid Janet is walking into something they might not be able to come back from. Vidocq talked about the mystical power in child sacrifice. The younger the better, he said. What would Janet do if they walked in on something like that? I hope they’d try to stop it. What would Dan and Juliette do then? Not to mention the rest of the Lodge Within the Lodge?
Should I go after Janet? Should I stop them? I can’t. I’ve scared them enough for one night. Besides, what if I’m wrong? Janet was right when they said that I’ve had it in for Dan and Juliette. I never liked or trusted them. Then Samael comes along and sings me a little song and I’m ready to burn them at the stake. It’s possible he meant something completely different and I’ve twisted his clue around to suit myself. Why can’t angels be straight with the world for one second? This is right. This is wrong. Don’t eat the apple? Then why did you even give me an apple tree? Don’t give me parables and songs. Give me answers. Something I can hang on to. Am I right about Dan and Juliette? And was I wrong to let Janet go? Have I been right about anything along the way or did I get Gentry, Chanchala, and Thivierge slaughtered for nothing?
I consider going to Bamboo House and drinking myself horizontal, but that’s what I always do, and where has it gotten me? Pretty much where I am now—standing in a hallway talking to myself about things and people I don’t understand anymore.
I take a couple more of the PTSD pills, get on the Hog, and leave. I have to think. If I’m wrong, as I’m afraid I might be, maybe I was always better off in Hell and should have never let Wormwood bring me back. That’s always been the central question of my life: Where do I belong? Here or Downtown? If I’m supposed to be here, then I have to do what I need to do to protect my friends. But if I’m supposed to be somewhere else, then everything I do could be dragging them into the Abyss with me.
I don’t have time to get lost in my head like this. There’s too much at stake. I need someone to help straighten me out.
I drive to Vidocq’s.
He’s in a brandy mood today, so that’s what we’re drinking.
After a couple of rounds he says, “It is a dilemma, my friend. What do you intend to do?”
I swirl the sweet stuff in my glass.
“You tell me. That’s why I came here.”
He pushes some old books out of his way and props his feet on the coffee table.
“I think your heart and your head are working against each other. You say that Samael gave you a puzzling clue as to what has been happening, but you also say that you’re not sure if you’ve interpreted it correctly.”
“I don’t know what I know anymore. People are dying. Abbot’s about to flatten a whole neighborhood because I’m chasing one particular ghost. And I don’t know if I’m right about any of it.”
Vidocq puts up his hand.
“If you were still with Candy right now, what would she tell you?”
I think for a minute.
“Not to start punching t
hings too quickly.”
“Is that all?”
“To stop and think and make sure that I’m not just seeing things the way I want to.”
“There you are. That sounds like excellent advice to me.”
“But what about Janet tonight?”
Vidocq sniffs his brandy.
He says, “What about them? They’ve made their choice. Their loyalty isn’t to you. It’s to the Lodge.”
“Was I wrong about Janet all this time? Were they like Dan and Juliette all along?”
“What does your heart tell you?”
“That I was wrong. That Janet was with them and never me.”
I close my eyes.
“I keep coming back to this one thought: that I know everything about monsters and nothing about people.”
“Does that mean you intend to leave Janet alone?”
I open my eyes and look at him.
“I have to. But every instinct I have tells me that Dan and Juliette are monsters.”
“Yet you have no proof except for your admittedly flawed instincts.”
“They sacrificed that bird and they’ll do it again.”
“How will you stop them without killing them and proving to yourself that you are simply a monster too?”
“Is that what I do?”
“Your image of yourself is one of a beast. A benevolent one, but a beast nonetheless. As much as this might pain you, it is also easy and familiar. It allows you to do away with deeper emotions.”
“Fuck. I don’t know what to do.”
Vidocq leans forward and slaps my knee once.
“Stay and drink with me. By coming here, you’ve already made your decision. You will not run rashly after Janet based on your fears and habits. Instead you’ve learned something important about yourself.”
“Learning is miserable. People are awful. Worrying about them is the worst.”
“All true.”
“When I first came back to L.A. I swore I’d never get too close to anyone. Even you. I thought that connections to people made me weak. That they wouldn’t let me do the only thing I was good at—killing things.”
“What do you think now?”
“That connections are a mixed bag. You and Candy make me stronger. Janet though, that’s a gut punch.”
“You can’t kill everything bad and you can’t save everyone good.”
“I’m not sure who the good ones are anymore.”
“Yes you are. Because you’re one. It’s just sometimes hard to admit to oneself.”
“Fuck.”
I just sit there for a minute and look out the window. It’s pitch-black. I want a cigarette.
“You know, eventually I have to go home, only I don’t know if I can.”
“Worried about bad dreams?”
“That too. But the one straight thing Samael said is that there’s a whole gang of Stay Belows waiting to kill me.”
“Then that is a problem you can attack. Forget the Zero Lodge and their foolishness. Let us go and rescue your home.”
Vidocq gets his overcoat from a hook on the wall.
I say, “You’re sure you want to come with me? You’ve seen what those spooks are like.”
As he puts the coat on he says, “All the more reason I want to go. Since that attack, I’ve been brewing a supply of bannissement par l’amarante. It won’t destroy the creatures, but it should drive them away.”
“Should?”
“What is guaranteed in this life?”
“Thanks, Dad. You’re a bundle of comfort today.”
He shows me what he’s packing. There are about fifty little pockets sewn into the inside of Vidocq’s big coat. Each pocket contains a potion vial that he can throw like a mini hand grenade.
I get up and manifest my Gladius.
“Let’s go.”
I pull him through a shadow to the flying saucer house.
When we get there, it looks like we got worked up for nothing. It’s not that Samael was wrong about the Stay Belows—judging by the wreckage, they’re gone now. All that’s waiting for us in the flying saucer house is rubble. The spooks have had all day to get out their frustrations on the place and it looks like they took their work seriously. There isn’t a single piece of furniture left in one piece. The walls are torn open in places and the insulation pulled out. The Blu-ray player is in a million pieces and the smashed TV is in the bedroom on the slashed mattress. The only good news in the mess is that the DVDs I borrowed from Max Overdrive are safe under the splintered sofa. The kitchen, however, looks like a bomb went off.
Vidocq puts away his vials and I let the Gladius go out.
“At least Samael was telling the truth,” says Vidocq. “It looks as if he might have saved your life today.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know what I’m going to tell Abbot. How many times can I destroy this place before someone on the Sub Rosa Council gets annoyed and boots me out?”
“Abbot is the Augur. The leader. They will have to listen to him.”
“Not if I can’t do something for them. And so far, all I’ve done is wave my hands, shout theories, and get three people killed.”
I find a relatively intact sofa cushion and sit down on it. Vidocq perches on the ledge where the TV used to be.
“At least you weren’t here,” he says. “As long as you’re alive there’s hope.”
“You think so? I’m having my doubts.”
He gives me a concerned look.
“You’re not thinking of doing something rash, are you?”
I pull some stuffing from the sofa cushion I’m sitting on.
“It’s nothing like that. It’s just that, after this—and knowing what Abbot is about to do—I think the only useful thing left for me to do is go to Little Cairo and wipe out every single goddamn Stay Below I can find.”
“Perhaps, but I think Abbot will forgive you long before you forgive yourself.”
I throw a chair leg at the TV and miss.
“If you have any better ideas, please shout them out.”
“We leave this for now. We’ll go to Bamboo House of Dolls and you’ll stay with me tonight. Tomorrow, we will figure out what to do next.”
I think about it for a minute.
“I can’t. I’ve put it off long enough. If I clear out Little Cairo myself, maybe I can save some of the civilians. If the Council does it they’ll nuke everything and everyone.”
We both get up and as I’m about to pull Vidocq into a shadow, he moves away.
“Is this yours?” he says.
“What is it?”
“A courier envelope.”
“I don’t know any couriers.”
Vidocq looks it over.
“There’s a return address. The sender is Janet Lawton.”
I stumble through the debris, grab the envelope from his hands, and rip it open.
Something falls onto the floor.
It’s an old Polaroid. A happy, naked couple smile out at me from the faded plastic. There’s a trimmed tree in the background.
Across the bottom in ballpoint pen someone has written, “Chris and Samantha, Christmas ’77.”
The man I immediately recognize as Chris Stein. As for the woman, I take the photo under one of the few working lights to get a good look at kill-crazy Samantha.
Only it’s not Samantha.
It’s Manimal Mike’s girlfriend, Maria Simon, but in 1977—looking exactly the way she does now.
I put the photo in my pocket and grab Vidocq.
“Forget everything I just said. We’re going to a party.”
Through another shadow, we come out into Dan and Juliette’s living room. I bark some hoodoo to lock the place down tight. No one in. No one out. I get out my na’at and head down into the rumpus room with Vidocq close behind me.
There’s no one downstairs. Kenny’s big table is gone. The floor is covered in candles, milagros, and other supernatural baubles. Someone has pulled the boards off the entrance
to the Jackal’s Backbone, so I have a pretty good idea of where the table went. But not knowing why worries me.
Vidocq looks into the stone tunnel.
“Is that where we are going?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you have any idea what’s waiting for us?”
“A bunch of thrill-kill psychos. Also, probably, some highly agitated ghosts.”
“Merde,” he says quietly, and takes a fistful of vials from inside his coat. “Shall we go?”
I run through the tunnel into the mountain with Vidocq right behind me. As we go, I extend the na’at into a barbed whip. A good weapon for making an impression and cutting through crowds. It’s times like this that I wish my angelic side was just a bit more angelic. Like, it would be nice to have wings right now. Walking through shadows is fast, but you have to have some idea of where you’re going. If I start jumping through shadows down here, I could shoot right past whatever the Lodge is up to and end up with the weight lifters on Venice Beach. If I had wings, maybe I could carry Vidocq across the ceiling of the Jackal’s Backbone and he could bomb whatever was happening with his vials. But I can’t, so I keep running and being bitter about getting shortchanged angel-wise.
It takes us a few minutes more to find the Lodge Within the Lodge party. We hang back behind a boulder and check out the scene.
At first, all I can see is people. More of them than I expected. There were six or eight at the last Lodge Within the Lodge meeting. Now the number of people is easily double that. Those are lousy odds for us, but it also simplifies things. Before, I wasn’t sure how rough I would have to get. With this many potential assholes to get through, there’s no holding back. Move or die, fuckers. It’s that simple.
I spot Maria talking to Juliette. Good. At least I know all the bad guys are here tonight.
The way things are laid out, I can’t actually make out what’s happening. But I see a lot of weapons in the hands of the Lodge members. Old, brutal stuff. Heavy broadswords. War hammers. Mayan obsidian-bladed battle axes.
Trash wizard Kenny has made an appearance. Still in the House of Knives. Still being sliced and diced like pastrami. That’s nice, at least. He’s called up a few Stay Belows, who hang at the back of the scene. No telling what they’re for but I don’t like it.
Ballistic Kiss Page 24