by Maris Black
“Studying with a twin is a bit different than it is for most people, I guess. We think so much alike, and we’re so familiar with each other, that it’s easier for us to communicate. Sometimes even without words.”
“I can only imagine.” Leo licked his lips. “Let me know when you guys have an anatomy test. I’d love to sit in on that study session.”
In retrospect, it probably wasn’t smart to punch the guy. Mainly because my violent reaction was an admission of guilt. I knew it, and Leo knew it, and therein lay the real danger of the situation. The second my fist connected with his nose, I handed over control to Leo, and I had no doubt Bain and I would both be paying dearly for that misstep.
Several students, including Bain and Neva, came running over to see what was going on that had prompted Leo to let out a sharp cry. He clutched his nose, holding back the gush of blood that had begun to seep through his fingers. Then he pointed at me, a very clear threat in his narrowed eyes, and left the room.
“What happened?” Neva asked, alarmed. “Where did Leo go?”
I shrugged. “Presumably to get that nasty nosebleed under control. Look, some got on the floor.” I indicated the trail of red droplets that had dribbled out before he’d gotten his hand up. Without another word, I moved to the side of the room and grabbed a few paper towels from the roll Dr. Ray kept, returning to the scene of the crime and cleaning up the blood myself. I had been the one to cause it, so I figured it was my responsibility to clean it up.
As I wiped at the persistent smear, I wondered if Leo was planning to rat me out for hitting him. No one would blame him if he did. I had physically assaulted him, and if it came to the attention of the Otranto faculty, I’d probably be shown the door without delay. I couldn’t let that happen. I had dragged Bain to this school and filled his head full of wild dreams about our future in filmmaking. I couldn’t let him down just because I was unable to control my temper.
Amid a flurry of questions from our classmates, I gestured for Bain to stay put. He nodded. Then I took off out the door and down the hall toward the restroom, where I was certain I would find Leo. Not surprisingly, he was spitting blood into the sink and rinsing his face when I entered.
His back was to the door, but his reflection in the mirror over the sink glared at me, the harsh fluorescent lights magnifying the look of pure hatred on his face. “What the fuck do you want, Gavin?” His tone was nasally, altered by the swelling in his nose.
“Is it broken?” I asked, faking concern when all I really wanted to do was take his head off.
He spat another blood-tinged stream of saliva into the sink. “Lucky for you, I think it’s just bruised and swollen. Should go down by morning.”
“Look, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It’s just…” I toed the floor and gave him my best look of contrition. “You don’t know what it’s like growing up with a twin brother. For some reason, people like to make rude jokes at our expense. It’s happened enough times that I ought to be used to it by now, but it still makes my hair stand on end every time.”
“Unfortunate, but what does that have to do with punching me in the face?”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, squelching my disgust enough to look pleadingly at Leo. “Obviously you would not have knowingly made such a distasteful joke. I just took what you said the wrong way, that’s all, and I overreacted. Please accept my heartfelt apology.”
Leo moved to stand right in front of me, his features slightly contorted from the pain in his nose as he attempted a smile. “I accept your heartfelt apology. And don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone you assaulted me.” He held out his right hand, and we shook on our truce.
I blew out the breath I was holding. “Thank you.”
“But as for this so-called distasteful joke you thought I was making… ” He snatched me closer by the hand he was still gripping, squeezing it harder and looking down at me. His battered face was mere inches from my own, and I could feel his breath as he spoke, his voice low and threatening. “I assure you it was no joke. I am well aware of what is going on between you and your brother. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night for imagining all of the sordid things the two of you are getting up to in your bedroom, which coincidentally is right below mine. You’d be surprised at how sound carries in Castle Otranto. Of course your room is flanked by a supply closet and an unoccupied dorm room, so the other students on the floor have as yet been spared the torture of hearing Bain’s sweet moans. They don’t have to lie awake with their hands on their cocks trying to imagine just what it is you’re doing to him. They’re not tortured by dreams of being caught between the two of you, being taken by both of you at once.”
He leaned in, grabbed the back of my head to hold me in place, and latched onto the side of my neck with his teeth. I struggled against him and managed to break free, but not before he’d bitten into the flesh of my throat and sucked hard enough to sting. There was a throbbing at the spot, and I rushed to the mirror to see what kind of damage had been done, sickened to discover a pale hickey encircled by a distinct bite mark.
“What the fuck, Leo?” I rubbed anxiously at the marks, only succeeding at making them redder and more pronounced. “How am I supposed to explain this?”
He shrugged. “The same way I’m supposed to explain why my nose looks like I fell face-first onto a concrete floor. You’ll have to improvise. But I suggest you put on a convincing show. It would be awfully uncomfortable if people found out the truth, don’t you think?”
I whirled on him and growled like a caged animal, my hands shaking at my sides with barely contained rage. “What do you want from me?”
Leo raised his eyebrows. “I’ve already told you what I want. You can’t be that dim.” When I only stared at him in shock, he turned to leave. As he walked out, he said, “Think back over our conversation. Maybe you’ll figure it out.”
The bathroom door swung shut, leaving me in complete silence, and I stood there contemplating everything that had been said. Of course I wasn’t dim. I knew exactly what Leo wanted: to be the meat in a Murphy twin sandwich. I also knew it would be a cold day in hell before he got that wish.
When I got back to class, people were fussing over Leo about his sudden nosebleed. While everyone was occupied, I hurried over to Neva and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “I need some makeup.”
She stared at me, confused.
“Cover cream, or whatever you call it,” I said, turning my head so she could see my neck. “Wild night in town. I just noticed it when I went to the bathroom. Please don’t tell anyone else.”
She smiled, clearly pleased at being in cahoots with me to cover up a scandalous tryst, and went to retrieve the makeup out of her bag. She returned and slid a tiny tube of cream into my hand. “Just a little bit is all it takes. Keep it. I have more.”
“Thanks. Just tell Bain I wasn’t feeling well and went back to the room.”
She nodded, and I slipped out of the room, breathing a sigh of relief that Bain was too preoccupied with Leo’s drama to notice. In the bathroom, I dabbed the thick, white cream onto the angry mark only to discover that it didn’t have the kind of coverage I had expected. I also didn’t have Neva’s fair skin. Now there was a sickly gray blob on the side of my throat, but it would have to do. Maybe it would suffice until I could figure out what to tell Bain.
My first instinct was to tell him everything, but when I imagined the way he would worry— because he always worried— I rethought that plan. Leo wanted both of us in bed, and the knowledge made me sick to my stomach. But it wasn’t going to happen. I’d rather have died a thousand deaths than let that would-be rapist touch my brother again. What if Bain wanted to take the path of least resistance and let Leo have his way? Even worse, what if it wouldn’t bother him? Did he still feel any attraction to Leo? It would have broken my heart to find out that he did.
No, there was no way I was going to tell him about Leo’s proposition. I’d just have to figure out some other way t
hrough the dilemma. Besides, I had made a vow to protect Bain, so it was my responsibility to handle the situation like a man.
I went to our room and climbed under the covers, facing the wall so that my injury was pointing down toward the bed. Hopefully Bain would accept that I wasn’t feeling well and let me sleep. I wasn’t sure how long hickeys took to disappear, but I was praying it would be faded enough by morning that I could hide it with the cream. Then Bain might never have to know that we were essentially being blackmailed.
CHAPTER 18
(BAIN)
HOW MY brother managed to hide the fact that he had a love bite on his neck was a mystery. All I know is I didn’t notice it until I got back to our room and found him lying down. After letting Powder out of the bathroom, I made my way to Gavin’s bed, trying not to trip over the little ball of fluff as he ran circles around my ankles.
“Are you okay?” I reached out and laid a hand on his forehead like Serena had always done when she thought we might have a fever.
“I’m taking a nap,” he said, turning away from me and pulling the covers up to his chin. I suppose it was sheer familiarity that gave him away, because he definitely wasn’t acting like himself.
“What are you hiding?” I asked, hoping I was imagining things. That he would feel the need to hide anything from me was disturbing.
“What do you mean?” His voice was slow and groggy. And fake. I was almost certain of it. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Maybe I’m coming down with something.”
I stood near his bed for a long moment, unsettled but not knowing how to express the feeling. Not knowing how hard to push. Finally I made the decision to forge ahead. “You never pull the covers up like that. You hate the heat. You hate being stifled by the covers.”
“Fine,” he said. “If it bothers you, I’ll get rid of them.” He kicked irritably at the covers until they were bunched at the foot of the bed, and he was completely exposed.
“Turn over here and let me see you,” I said, a tightness in my belly warning me that I might not like what I saw. It was all instinct, my suspicion of him, and the uneasy feeling that something awful was about to be revealed.
“Bain, you’re being silly. Paranoid.”
My hands trembled ever so slightly at my sides. “I said turn over.”
He flipped over, let out a resigned sigh, and fixed his worried gaze on me. As I moved closer, I noticed a light spot on his throat, a strange-colored blob. I moved even closer and leaned over him, reaching out a finger to touch the spot.
Makeup. And beneath that, the shadow of a dark shape that the makeup couldn’t fully blot out.
I pulled myself back to standing and stared at Gavin, swallowing convulsively as my heart broke. “Who did that to you?”
Gavin’s lips visibly tightened, making it clear that he did not want to tell me. His eyes were pained, which made it even worse for me, tightening the already excruciating knot that rippled and contracted in my gut. I realized with growing alarm that I was in danger of throwing up.
“Bain, it’s not what you think.” Gavin stood up and faced me, looking miserable. “Please trust me. I can’t tell you how this happened, because I don’t want you to worry. Just know that it was not my choice. I would never do anything to hurt you.”
I laughed. “You already hurt me when you left me alone to go to England and sow your wild oats. God knows what— and who— you did over there. Everybody knows you’re heartless, Gavin. Everyone but me. I always take up for you like an idiot. You made me come clean about an innocent little kiss with Caleb, but what about you? I’ll bet you fuck everything that moves, male or female, and I’m just stupid enough to fall for your bullshit. To believe I’m special.”
I pushed him. Then I lunged at him, but he managed to get both of his arms banded around me, immobilizing my arms at my side. I struggled against him for a while, but my heart wasn’t really in it, and we both knew it. Finally we just stood there in a one-sided hug, breathing heavily, until Gavin broke the silence.
“I fuck no one.” He leaned in and kissed me, sending chills skittering across every surface of my skin. “No one but you.”
“You’re a liar. I hate you,” I turned my face away, avoiding his eyes but not bothering to try to escape the circle of his arms.
“You don’t hate me, baby. You love me.” He kissed a trail down the side of my neck, his hot breath tickling wherever it touched. “And you trust me. I know you do.”
I still couldn’t look at him. “I don’t. You’ve been dishonest with me. I’m not even sure if I know who you are anymore.”
“Trust your instincts,” he said, kissing his way back up my throat. “I’m the same guy I’ve always been. The same guy who has loved you unconditionally for eighteen years.”
“Gavin—” That’s all I managed to say before lust choked out everything inside me, leaving my body a tangled knot of raw desire. There was an ache in my heart, and I still wasn’t quite sure what I believed, but the doubt was insignificant compared to everything else I was feeling.
“Show me that you trust me, Bain.” Gavin let go of me and grabbed one of his silly scarves from the display above his bed. It was a plaid Burberry— his favorite, I think.
The scarf didn’t seem so silly anymore when he stepped behind me and wrapped it around my wrists, pulling it tight enough to immobilize my arms without cutting off the circulation.
I shivered at the sensation, loving it but not understanding why, and not even caring why. It was Gavin whose hands had bound me, and that made it right.
“You like that?” he growled against my ear as he reached around my body and grabbed onto my cock through my jeans, massaging as if he knew just how I liked it without me telling him. “You’re already hard,” he whispered. “I knew you would be. Your words say one thing, but your body says another.” With a grunt, he pushed his own erection against me from behind and bit down on that sensitive spot between my neck and shoulder.
I couldn’t speak. All I could do was whimper quietly, tears squeezing out and running down my face. My vision blurred with the tears, and that was okay. Had Gavin betrayed me? At the moment, it was inconsequential. All I wanted was for him to touch me, to come inside me, to make everything okay like he’d always done.
Gavin lowered the zipper of my jeans and released the button before pulling both pants and underwear down to my knees. He worshiped my ass with his hands, running his palms over the rounded muscles before following the cleft from bottom to top with a fingertip. He lingered on the tiny bend at the top that the doctor who delivered us had called a dimple. We both had it, as if we needed yet another thing that connected us.
“Are you sure you’ve never been with anyone else?” he asked, his voice laced with anger at the mere suggestion of it. “You want me to be honest with you? You come clean to me, once and for all.”
I shook my head, but that wasn’t enough of an answer for Gavin. He tightened up on the scarf binding my wrists.
“No,” I choked out through the tears, wincing at the biting pain in my wrists. “No one else, Gavin. Not ever.”
“Good.” He loosened his grip on my bindings. “You’re mine. I’ll kill anyone who touches you.”
I sighed, relaxing my body against the wall and feeling an inexplicable sense of peace wash over me. He still loves me.
“Say you’re mine.” He muttered the soft plea against my ear, then sucked my earlobe into the warmth of his mouth and grazed the skin with his teeth until I could hardly form a thought. I felt the sensations all the way down in my balls, which tightened and crawled up against my body, aching to be touched. “Say it out loud. Make me believe it.”
“I’m yours, Gavin.” I couldn’t stop the moan that poured through my slack lips— and the tail end of it, a desperate oath. “I’ve always been yours. Even when…” I swallowed, my throat constricting. “Even when you didn’t want me.”
“Didn’t want you? Are you insane?” He spun me around and looked into my
eyes, his expression as dark as I’d ever seen it. “You want to know why I left home? Why I left the safety of the only life I’d ever known and went to a strange country all alone? It’s because I was being eaten alive by my desire for you. Day after day, I looked at you, and I wanted you, and I knew I couldn’t have you. I knew I was evil for even daring to think such a horrible thing, but God help me I couldn’t stop. I thought if I put some distance between us I could work out my demons, but even four-thousand miles and an ocean couldn’t kill the need.”
He leaned in, slipping the tip of his tongue between my lips and running it along the seam, exploring. Then he kissed me tenderly, and I let him, cherishing the heavenly feel of his mouth on mine. It was the sweetest kiss in the history of kisses— heartbreaking and chaste and passionate all at the same time. I didn’t ever want it to end.
All too soon he pulled back, leaving me reeling. Even as exposed as I was— hands bound, pants around my knees, and cock hard for something I should not want— I was not ashamed to have my brother’s eyes on me. He already understood every dark thought that moved behind my eyes. He was me, and I was him. We were both master and slave. We were one.
“See how you trust me?” he asked. “Even as angry as you were at me, you let me tie your hands, because deep down you know I will always take care of you.”
He dropped to his knees in front of me and grabbed onto my hips, supporting me and keeping me stationary as he took my cock into his mouth. I let out a hiss and pushed into the warmth.
When he had brought me nearly to climax, he pulled off and looked up at me, his eyes wide, his expression open. “Tell me you trust me, Bain. That you know for a fact that this is the only place I ever want to be. Taking care of you. Worshiping you.”
“I—” The words wouldn’t come. I needed Gavin, and I was so hot for him it was sick. But seeing that mark on his throat seemed like proof of his infidelity. “How can I trust you when I can see the evidence with my own eyes? That is no curling iron accident, Gavin. It’s a hickey that someone besides me put there. Someone whose mouth was on you since the last time we were together.”